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Saga of Dean series.|
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"Ghost In The Machine" Part 1Season 4 Episodes 1 & 2
Canadian airdate: September 7th, 2004
Hey, remember 2004? Housing prices continued to rise at a rapid pace, which couldn't possibly be a bad thing! I mean, it just means you'll have to take out a bigger mortgage. George W. Bush was re-elected on a mandate to create more national debt and de-regulate the financial industry. And in 10 states, votes railed to ban same-sex marriage, surly the most important issue threatening America's future. 2004 sucked a great big bucket of dicks, and now the Baby Boomer generation's greed and stupidity has fucked us all to hell.
But at least 2004 was the year I started Boycott the Caf and Degrassi had some good episodes, a phenomenon we may never see again. I have decided to revisit and re-review the first episode of Season 4, about five and a half years after I first wrote it. The impetus was my possession of the Season 4 DVDs. I mean, I didn't buy them as I am poor (see the above paragraph). but I just learned how to download actual DVD files which is kickass. Now I can make better quality screecaps. Originally, I had to smuggle worn out VHS copies of the Canadian broadcast of Degrassi in speedboats over Lake Superior so I could review them before they were broadcast in America. Now, I just drive to Toronto, give one of the producers a blow job, and I get my high def. quality episode the week they air.
Things are going well for Spinner Mason. After working long hours at the Dot, he finally managed to save up to buy a car of his own. Joey is grateful to have gotten that $2700 (Canadian) from Spinner as it will be the only money he receive get all year.
Spinner is also still dating super fox, Paige Michalchuk, meaning his car will be a great new place to have sex. Spinner and Paige are all making out in the Love Mobile when a police officer comes by, presumably to deliver a trophy to Spinner for single handily taking out the Portside Gang. The cop is there to deliver a court summons to Paige "at this address." Paige lives in Spinner's car.
Paige has to appear in court for Dean's rape trial. If you remember, in season 2, Paige was raped by Dean in a very special episode.
But man, that rape was two years ago. Justice moves slowly in Canada.
At some point later on, Spinner takes the cool crowd (him, Jimmy, Paige and Hazel) plus Marco to the drive in theater. Instead of making out with Spinner, Paige freaks out with Marco at all the horror scenes. Spinner instead watches Jimmy and Hazel make out. That's all Spinner needs.
Shit what kind of movie is this? It has a woman with a whip and a wrestling mask. I want that movie to be real. In Canada, drive in movie theaters show bondage films to minors. That explains why that drive in theater is the last one in North America still in operation.
Possibly the next day, Spinner, Paige and Marco help Dylan move into college. I knew Dylan was too old to be in high school. He was just spending time in Degrassi to cruise for gay boys. Dylan is also taking too many things with him to college. Gay people don't know how to travel lightly.
Turns out Dean the Rapist also goes to this college. Paige is less than happy about this, and seeing Dean gives her flashbacks of the big moment he raped her. Those clips are always hot to see.
Dean comes up to Paige and asks her not to press the charges. He also wants to have sex again. Dean is not a man who will take the word "no." He really won't!
It's the first day of the new school year. We learn that Liberty has broken up with Towerz, Emma has broken up with Chris, and Kendra has told Toby to fuck off.
Paige says hello to Ellie and Alex is mad Paige was nice to Ellie/won't fingerfuck her. Sean and Jay look at that and are glad they are guys. Toby can't say the same.
We're introduced to a new character, who we will later learn is Liberty's little brother Webster, but right now I'm calling him Dirty Black Kid, because he looks so dirty. At least he tries to put the moves on Manny, so we know he can spot a whore from a mile away. But even Manny wouldn't touch that dirt bag with a ten foot pole. That's how dirty Dirty Black Kid is.
Did Marco have sex with a business man last night and had to wear his clothes to school? Craig finds a cute display over his locker and wonders if Ashley did this. But it was Marco. Marco wants to have sex with Craig.
Spinner can't decide whose pictures to decorate his locker with, Mandy Moore or Hilary Duff. Spinner really enjoyed watching Lizzie MaGuire back in the day. He selects Hillary Duff, because she looks like Paige. Paige says she would rather look like Lindsay Lohan. That is very funny now because in 2004, nobody knew that Lindsay Lohan would one day look like a skeleton with a 14 year old boy's body and a 55 year old heroin addicted woman's face. Paige would end up looking like Miss Piggy.
Possibly later that night, Craig has a small birthday party. Craig is shocked when Joey hands him a check for $10,000. Craig's dead dad has left all his stuff to him and Craig's dead dad was loaded, what with being a doctor and in the mob. That ten grand is just a small portion of the riches Craig is going to be swimming in like Scrooge McDuck when he turns 18.
Spinner and Paige blew off Craig's little birthday bash to go have sex in his car. But Paige can't spread her legs, because every time she gets wet due to Spinner's awesome manliness, she has flashbacks of Dean. This means Paige has flashbacks of Dean twelve times a second.
Spinner is pissed Paige won't even give him anal but he plays the good boyfriend and tries to help her through her problems. The sooner Paige comes to terms with this, the sooner they will have sex, but Spinner's motivations are still about Paige feeling better. Spinner is such a gentleman.
It's the day of the trial. Dean pulls up in his penis car, while Paige comes by with her mother and Spinner. And then there's some people in the background who just enjoy watching a good rape trial. Canadian courts are all wacky. They have portraits of the Queen everywhere. The lawyers wear those robes all the time like they're fancy pants judges. Also there is no jury. Way to not have a Sixth Amendment, Canada. L-osers.
Dean's defense lawyer really grills Paige. Paige shoots back that the she was a virgin until she was raped by Dean. That is a dirty lie. Paige has had sex hundreds of times before (I heard she did it with a counselor at summer camp!). Paige you have committed perjury.
The judge, who may be Dr. Sally (I guess she would be a good authority for rape trials), delivers the verdict, and Dean is found not guilty of rape because no one buys that Paige only had sex once. Dean, in another awesome move, winks at Paige. What villainy. He has a charm no woman can resist. They really can't!
That's right Sean, keep the ball the hell out of the hands of Emma and JT. Ok, give it back so they can make the CTV logo. CTV, the Canadian broadcaster of Degrassi. Unlike, The-N, they air everything, all the swearing, sex, and murder we can't see in the USA.