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"King of Pain"

Season 4 Episode 3
Canadian airdate: September 21st, 2004

Boycott the Caf name: "Election Episode II"
Important characters: Marco, Alex, Emma, Chris
Issue of the Week: School elections (II)

I found this episode review in my computer. Turns out I started writing it last summer and forgot about it until November. So I ended up finishing this review based off my memory from last time I saw this episode, several months ago. If anything is wildly inaccurate here, I don't care. I'm not going to watch it again, it features Marco.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode sixty two

Dylan and Marco's gay relationship is on the skids because Marco won't tell his parents he is a gay, and this makes Dylan mad. Dylan doesn't seem to realize that on certain occasions, a gay person wouldn't like everyone to know he is gay. Mainly for tax purposes.

It's funny when Dylan and Marco argue, because they come off like a couple of whiny girls. I don't know if they meant to play the scene that way or that the dudes who play Marco and Dylan are just a couple of pansies, either is plausible..

Degrassi The Next Generation episode sixty two

Man, Paige and Alex really hate each other. Here, Paige likens Alex to dog shit. That's cold. This will play out in later episode when Paige needs to get work at the place Alex is employed at, but all we need to know right now is that Paige can be a real bitch. I guess she forgot the lesson Dean taught her about humility two years ago, and is back to being classic Paige, the good ol' megabitch.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode sixty two

Oh my God, check out Emma's chest. It's really sprouted over the summer. She actually has breasts. This is great, after going through three seasons flat as a pancake, Emma has blossomed. Patience really paid off. I'm pretty proud of our Emma. You know, after watching Degrassi for so long, I feel I've grown up with Emma's chest. Now the only card carrying members of the Degrassi Itty Bitty Tittie Committee are Kendra and Liberty.

Anyway, Emma and Chris broke up over the summer, but now Chris is talking to her again because he notices her nipples are oddly closer to his face then they used to be. Chris wants to go get a shake. Chris loves shakes.

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I forgot to mention that Marco is running for school president. Alex is running against him. She's running a rebel campaign. More on that later, Jack.

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In Armstrong's class, we find that Liberty has a crush on Chris. Emma is so shocked by this that her face gets kind of purple.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode sixty two

It seems that Dylan has just broken up with Marco because Marco won't tell his parents he is gay. In an ironic twist worthy of Shakespeare, this leads to Marco's mom finding out he is gay. Showza!

This is a big blow to Marco's mom. It was bad enough Marco was her son to begin with, but now on top of that he turns out to be queer. That's like getting a sweater for Christmas, and then you learn it really itches.

Marco's dad still doesn't know about this because Marco's dad really hates gays and would most likely eat Marco if he found out.

The next day, Marco tells Paige he came out to his mom. Paige is very proud of her gal pal. That's when Alex reveals her secret election victory secret: she is going to tell the whole school Marco is gay. Oh my! I thought everyone already knew Marco was gay, but I guess only the students with speaking parts do. This is big trouble for Marco.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode sixty two

Meanwhile, Emma feels threatened that Liberty likes Chris. Emma is worried what people will think of her if Chris goes on to date Liberty after her. It's interesting that Emma is worried what people will think about her now, but not what people will think when she later ends up sucking dick for bracelets.

Emma puts the moves Chris. Looking at his throbbing negro biceps and breathing in his wild African musk gets Emma worked up and she probably asks Chris if would like to get a shake. I don't know, at this point I'm writing to review on a vague memory of the episode, but I bet Emma asks Chris out to get a shake. The way to Chris's heart is through a straw.

Liberty finds out what Emma tried to pull and tells her, "It's easy for me, letting you go—straight to Hell." Oh snap! But that's such a big loss. She doesn't get to be friends with Liberty, big deal. I don't think Emma was ever friends with Liberty to begin with, but was just too polite to tell Liberty to go away whenever Liberty talked to her. But now Emma isn't going to hold back and will start being evil here on out. Emma is in fact Degrassi's newest villain. I think she is letting her new breasts have a dangerous effect on her brain.

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It's election day at Degrassi. Alex and Marco are giving their speeches. Marco's parents are there to see the action and so is Sean back there. Jimmy must be in there somewhere to, it looks like every other row is reserved for black people.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode sixty two

When Marco approaches the podium, that rapscallion Jay shouts out "Homosexual!" Suave, Jay. Too bad Marco's dad is too stupid to figure out that means his son is a gay. Alex decided to not call Marco gay either, so his secret is safe for now.

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Marco delivers one hell of a speech. The kicker was Spinner setting off the sparkling explosive thing in the auditorium. Well, Marco wins the election and is now class president. Marco makes overtures to the poor kids by asking Alex to be his vice president, and she accepts.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode sixty two

Marco's parents are really proud of him. Dylan is too, and takes Marco back, because he is class president now and I guess so he can use it to set up cameras in the boys locker room or something. Dylan is a freak.

Marco Chuck Norris truly is the king of pain.

Rating: B
I don't know why I gave this episode as high of a mark as I did, it stars Marco. Maybe because this is the last time we'll see Chris until the end of the season. Maybe because Emma's breasts brought it up from a D-. Who knows? But I am sticking with this grade.

Intensity Level: 10% Intense
Again, not sure why it is 10% intense. To tell the truth, these intensity ratings are a bit arbitrary. I hope I didn't disappoint anyone who thought I had a formula going here.

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