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"Anywhere I Lay My Head"

Season 4 Episode 5
Canadian airdate: September 28th, 2004

Boycott the Caf name: "Ellie's Mom is a Drunk"
Important characters: Sean, Ellie, Spinner, Manny
Issue of the Week: Alcoholism

Degrassi The Next Generation episode sixty four

We start off at Sean's apartment. Sean and Ellie have fallen asleep either studying or having sex, it's hard to tell. I could see Sean falling asleep while making love to Ellie, she doesn't seem like she would be all that interesting in bed.

Actually, hell it's Sean, of course he is having sex with Ellie. It doesn't matter that they both have their clothes on now. If you've noticed, most people on TV have sex fully dressed.

FYI: The TV has an interview with woman who has Canada's largest collection of pencil erasers. That's what counts for impressive TV in Canada. She'll get elected Prime Minister with that kind of fame.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode sixty four Degrassi The Next Generation episode sixty four

Anyway, there's a slight Spinner/Manny B plot brewing. Get this: Manny gets on her knees begging Spinner to have his band play at the cheerleaders' car wash. She would ask Craig, but that would be kind of awkward, what with that one time he got her pregnant.

Here's a sample of the dialogue from this scene:

Spinner: So you think it would help if I washed cars in my wet t-shirt?

Manny: Yes sir. Oh Spinner, your nipples, so hard and ohhh ohhh urghhhh. Sorry master, I need to change my pants.

Spinner: You are excused.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode sixty four Degrassi The Next Generation episode sixty four

It's Parent's Night at Degrassi. Parent's Night has a long history at the school. There was the time in season 1 when Toby's bitter divorced parents yelled at each other because they blamed each other for the sorry way Toby has ended up. Then there was that other time when...um...ok they haven't done anything with Parent's Night in a while.

So it's good when Ellie's mom shows up for the Parent's Night and makes a total ass of herself because she is drunk. Drunk people are always funny and ever more when they look like Rachel Dratch.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode sixty four

Here is Ellie's mom talking to Ashley's gay dad and his gay sex partner. This should be entertaining. Ellie's mom asks if they let gays in the military. Of course they do Ellie's mom. This is Canada, they take whoever they can get. Either stop confusing Canada with America or just admit you're not an independent country and be annexed already.

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At home, Ellie's mom sets the house on fire because alcohol is flammable and she's passed out. With no where to live, Ellie moves in with Sean and I assume Ellie's mom just falls asleep in a trash can outside a bar.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode sixty four

Check it out, this is how Ellie keeps all her cutting equipment. Girl is very organized with this cutting.

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Now we move to the car wash. Manny get all hot for Spinner's abs. Hell yeah.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode sixty four

Downtown Sasquatch plays the car wash and is now a 411 cover band. That bites.

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Meanwhile perverted old man sit around sipping drinks and watching the scantily clad high school kids. This is also the first appearance of Darcy. They gave her a name right off the bat, but don't appear to make her a Christian as of yet. For a bit of foreshadowing to next season, she is instantly attracted to Spinner, but that's been true of every character.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode sixty four Degrassi The Next Generation episode sixty four

Rick drives up to get his mom's car washed. But everyone hates him for the whole Terri coma thing, and Jimmy chases him away with the hose.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode sixty four

Too bad you just gave Rick a free car wash. He's the winner there.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode sixty four

Ellie's mom is infuriated to learn that Ellie has been living with Sean. It took her a few days to find this out, I assume she was forced to sober up when she ran out of money, didn't know where her daughter was, and spent a few days looking for Ellie because she figured the kid might have some cash to loan her for booze.

When Ellie's mom arrives at the apartment, she slaps Sean. She must have thought he was Ellie in her drunken fucked up mind. Ellie's mom is lucky to have survived striking Sean. The last guy to attack Sean is now deaf and the last guy to bitch slap Sean doesn't have a head anymore. Sean holds back because he must figure if he kills Ellie's mom then Ellie will no longer want to have sex with him.

Ellie's mom drags Ellie back to their still burnt out house. Ellie sure as hell doesn't want to be here, especially since without a kitchen there is no food anywhere. Ellie's mom get all her nutrition from Jack Daniels, so she doesn't care. Ellie needs a way out of this. So Ellie whips out her cutting equipment, revealing to her mom that she cuts herself. Ellie's mom is so horrified by what a freak her daughter is and allows her to go back to Sean.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode sixty four

Jared? What the fuck are you doing in the middle of Degrassi? Go away, you submarine sandwich eating asshole.

Ever notice how every Subway shop smells like barf? What's the deal with that? All I know is half my friends have been employed at Subway over the years and none of them ever want to eat there.

"Hey man you want to get something to eat?" I'll ask, a smile on my face and a twinkle in my eye.

"Yeah sure," my friend will say a skip in his step and a plum in his pudding, "Where you want to go?"

"How about Subway?" I'll reply.

"FUCK NO!" he'll retort.

Then I'll ask, "Why don't you want to eat at Subway?"

"I have my reasons. Just stay way. Stay away!"

Degrassi The Next Generation episode sixty four

Ellie moves in with Sean permanently. She brings with her a pet ferret. God damn it Ellie, look at that ferret wiggle. It really hates being held by you. Stop trying to replace your lack of a father with a pet rodent.

Ellie can sleep anywhere I lay my head.

Rating: B
This is was good. A Sean A plot and Spinner B plot is the second best way to write an episode, after a Spinner A plot and Sean B plot. I was entertained by both plots.

Intensity Level: 22% Intense
An alcoholic, a fire and a car wash. That's the intensity today.

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