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"Islands in the Stream"

Season 4 Episode 6
Canadian airdate: September 28th, 2004

Boycott the Caf name: "Spinner Does It With Two Girls at the Same Time"
Important characters: Spinner, Paige, Toby, Rick
Issue of the Week: The price of fame

Toby and Rick have become friends because they have a mutual like of nerd stuff and a mutual lack of other friends. Toby is willing to overlook Rick putting Terri in that coma. Terri was cold to Toby anyway.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode sixty five

Rick and Toby have each made a list of girls they like. Emma ranks high on both lists, which is just dumbfounding. Hell, the top of Rick's list is Ms. Hotass. When you're in high school and the hottest female you can think of is a teacher, then you know you need to get out more.

The funniest moment of the episode goes to Rick. When Toby says he has Hazel on his list, Rick concurs, noting, "A couple of very fine attributes on that one." Ha. That's funny because Hazel has large breasts. And they are acknowledging it on the show. Oh yeah, Degrassi goes there.

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Oh that Spinner. You scamp!

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Paige has learned of Spinner's loving up to Manny in the previous episode and Paige is frightened. A girl even sluttier and hornier than she is making a move on the sexiest man in Canada. If Paige looses Spinner she'll be so distraught she'll be driven to kill herself. That's what has happened others who have had their heart broken by Spinner: Marilyn Monroe, Jonathon Brandis, Kurt Cobain, all those people at Jonestown...and so on.

Paige runs to the Dot, grabs hold of Spinner, holds him tightly, and will not let him go until he professes his love for her. Paige holds on for dear life, almost suffocating Spinner if not for the fact Spinner does not require oxygen to live. Spinner agrees to stay with Paige if he is allowed to bang her on the school roof. Paige consents and up there, Spinner finds a shoe. Double sweetness.

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It's kind of hard to see in this screen cap, but Ellie is feeding Sean his food. Likewise, Sean often feeds Ellie his semen. Superfly!

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Holy mother of God Hazel has huge breasts.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode sixty five

Now back to discussing the episode. Toby and Rick have set up a kissing contest. The person who gets kissed the most in one day will have the loser to buy him role playing dice. If the prize you are competing for is role playing dice, I think both players are the losers.

You'd expect this contest to end with Toby unable to find a girl who will kiss him so he begs JT for one "just like old times." Meanwhile, Ricks gets a few kisses in when he punches two girls into a coma and makes out with their unconscious bodies. But Rick has become a man of peace now and there are no cinder blocks in sight, so he can't do that. And Toby surprises us all by getting kisses by being quite imaginative. First he steals the CPR dummy, so everyone in CPR class practices mouth to mouth with him. Good going for Toby, that's about twenty kisses right there, even if you consider that around half of them are bound to be guys. Toby won't complain.

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Toby's next scheme is his most brilliant. He tapes up a sign offering kisses to save sick kittens. And girls are going to line up for that, even if they have to make physical contact with Toby. Sick Kittens! Plus he made all that money. This is Toby's finest hour.

Anyway, no one will kiss Rick. Even the people who don't know about Terri, which considering the anti-Rick crowds in "Mercy Street" you'd think there wouldn't be any left. Continuity Fact #635 the producers choose to ignore. Anyway, Darcy has no idea why everyone else in Degrassi hates Rick, because Friendship Club does not concern itself in worldly affairs. But Darcy is happy when Toby pays her money to give Rick his one kiss. Possibly later that day Rick starts stalking Darcy, which is pretty damn quick to start stalking someone. Rick is a professional.

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Cut back to Paige and Spinner. Paige has gotten a job at the movie theater working with Alex in order to pay back the money from smashing Spinner's car in "Ghost in the Machine". Alex and Paige are usually mortal enemies like the sperm whale and giant squid or the Chinese and Japanese, but they have bonded over their crappy job. Alex even swipes a Skittles pack and gives it to Paige. Ho yeah! Alex the Candy Bandit in action. Alex must have taken this job just for all the candy she could steal. She planned to clean out the candy supply one night and when the manager asked what happened to all the candy, Alex was going to say, "I don't know. Wasn't me. Must be that new girl Paige."

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The guys and Marco visit Paige at work. Craig is jealous that Manny is attracted to Spinner. Craig turns into the Incredible Hulk and lets out his insane bipolar rage upon Spinner in a futile attempt to destroy Spinner's skeleton. Spinner holds back, knowing if he lays just one hand on Craig that will be more than enough force to kill his crazy leather jacket wearing friend. I'm just amazed Craig's hands don't shatter. Punching at Spinner is like punching a boulder. When Craig is in bipolar rage he feels no pain.

Because Paige knew the people who were fighting, the theater manager blames her for the fight, fires her and orders her to turn in her uniform. What? The one Paige is wearing right now? "Take off your shirt Paige and go home. Now."

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Paige is later rehired because Alex needs a patsy around to pull off her massive candy heist. Paige realizes she has lost Spinner to Manny's whoreness, so she leaves Spinner, gets into a bathtub full of hot water and is about to slit her wrists when she realizes she is a pretty big whore herself and can always sleep her way to another man. Of course this new man won't be as sexy or as satisfying in bed as Spinner, but that's part of life. Paige can get by. This is the girl who has sucked off summer camp counselors for warmth, she will survive where others have fallen.

"The Gambler" was a better Kenny Rogers song than "Islands in the Stream."

Rating: B-
A fair episode. Maybe this should be rated higher, but I wasn't as impressed by it as it should have left me. It wasn't bad, it just wasn't great. And what does Rick want role playing dice for? It's not like anyone is going to play one of those Dungeons and Dragons games with him unless it's his mom and maybe Toby.

Intensity Level: 7% Intense
About as intense as Lawrence Welk.

More Awesome Spinner Quotes:
"You may be poor, but at least you're pretty." - Spinner on Paige.

"I'm sorry aboot last night." - Spinner using his sexy Canadian accent.

Craig: There's so much to be jealous about Spin: your charm, your way with women, your firm ass, your sexy, sexy biceps ohhh ohhh urghhhh. Sorry master, I need to change my pants.

Spinner: You are excused.

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