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"Going Down the Road" Part 2

<-- Part 1

Right around here in the commentary, Jason leaves to go the bathroom. I think it's safe to assume he went to smoke marijuana. Ok. maybe he couldn't have gotten away with that, but he sniffed something--Windex or urinal cakes, whatever he could find.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode seventy seven

Here's a prominent Spinner scene. This is where we learn that Craig has been living in the school instead of Britain and cooking meals in the school kitchen. He's crazy right now. In the commentary Aaron says this was the worst scene in the episode because it makes no sense for there to be a kitchen in the school. I don't know what one room, log cabin schoolhouse in the Yukon Aaron went to college in, but kitchens in schools are quite common. They need to cook lunch.

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Here's another amusing anecdote found in the commentary. Mewes was groping Stacy Farber when Stacy's parents came in and saw it on camera. Kevin says Jason gets away with that because he's just so innocent that it's all harmless. No that's not an excuse to touch high school girls. But it took Kevin more than ten years to address Jason's drug problem, so it'll be about 2037 before Kevin tells Jason to lay off the teens.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode seventy seven

That blonde lady is Kevin's wife in real life. Yes, that Clerks money managed to buy Kevin a spouse. Jason makes some passes at her too. She'd be used to Jason's advances by now. They do live in the same house after all. Jason goes through her panties when she's out. She is probably used to that too, so she hides her real panties under the floor and just buys an extra set to leave in her drawers for Jason to sniff.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode seventy seven

Spinner comes by to tell Kevin that Craig has been living in the school. The commentary gang talk about how stupid Spinner's hair is. I'm glad it's not just me who has noticed that. Kevin even point out Spinner and Dylan had the same hair at one point. Whoa, has Kevin been reading this site? I'm sure he spends a lot of time on the internet. Kevin says that Spin's old haircut was like the kind in gay porn where the guy whips his hair and it's full of semen.

How the hell does Kevin know that?!!

Degrassi The Next Generation episode seventy seven

Joey takes Craig home and gets into an really big argument with Caitlin. I guess it was Caitlin's fault Craig lived in the school.

I would like to take time to mention that Stacie has a nice ass. Seriously, it's pretty sweet. I don't care much for Caitlin, her stories are boring and she's a fucking nut. But if they decided to only film Caitlin from the ass the show would be way better. Caitlin and Joey are flirting...close up of Caitlin's ass. Caitlin is working hard at the TV station...let's see how her ass is doing. Who gives a shit about her face?

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Caitlin is so distressed about the fight that she goes running to Kevin's trailer, where Kevin sleeps at night. The show makes a point to state that they did not have sex. Kevin was just Caitlin's gal pal for the night.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode seventy seven

Meanwhile, Craig is still off his meds and hanging with a homeless guy in Homeless City.

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Kevin and Caitlin ain't concerned about Craig, they busy filming the prom scene. Kevin and Caitlin dance until the prom is interrupted by Canadian ninjas which Kevin and Jay fight with swords. This is one of the few non-lame parts of the episode.

Canadian ninjas.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode seventy seven

Joey interrupts the filming because no one bothered to make sure this stranger didn't wander in front of the cameras. He tells Caitlin something, I think either about Craig missing or them fighting, I don't know, there were no subtitles. Check out the igloo and ninjas drinking coffee in the background.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode seventy seven Degrassi The Next Generation episode seventy seven

Craig is still hanging with the homeless guy until the homeless guy wants to rob Whitey and Craig gets in the way. So homeless guy beats the shit out of Craig and steals his guitar. Craig getting his ass beat is the second non-lame part of this episode. Man, I have been waiting for ever for someone to kick Craig's ass since his dad died--and since the time the gay guy beat up Craig. I just love seeing Craig get beat up. Awesome. Fuck you Craig.

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Joey is getting really worried that Craig has left home and is all insane. This is where Kevin comes to the rescue. He uses his awesome celebrity power to go on TV and asks Canadians to look for Craig.

This raises a few questions. Does Canada have an Amber Alert system? And if they do, does it apply to 17 year old boy? Especially if the 17 year old left home on his own instead of being kidnapped? And how about the fate of all the other missing kids in Canada who don't have a movie producer to help find them?

Anyway, Canada is happy to accommodate any big American celebrity who bothers to acknowledge that Canada exists, so Craig is quickly found in a soup kitchen.

Joey and Caitlin fight again, I think. Caitlin breaks up with Joey and cancels the marriage since a relationship with him would not work out because they are always fighting. No, they are only fighting this week. Their relationship has been smooth sailing since Caitlin got back from covering AIDS.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode seventy seven

Filming has ended for the movie. In less than three weeks Kevin Smith scouted out locations, hired an entire movie crew, cast all the roles, got the actors up to speed on the script, and filmed the entire thing. Also he shot all the scenes in order. They celebrate by popping out the wine, right inside the school among a hundred minors.

I'm starting to suspect that this movie thing isn't for real. It's just some excuse Kevin pulled together because he needed to get out of the United States really fast. Like maybe Jason got high and ran over a cop. Maybe he did it in Kevin's car and Kevin bought him the drugs. So they needed to hide out in Canada for awhile and this movie thing is their cover. Fucking pulled one over on all those simple townsfolk.

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Anyway, Caitlin and Joey have broken up. Kevin is feeling great celebrating the successful completion of another film. Caitlin can look forward to moving to Los Angeles to be on national TV and her new friendship with a director. Joey feels like shit.

That's going down the road.

Rating: C-
Let me tell you what I liked about Kevin Smith coming to Degrassi. It means I have a nice way to bridge my Degrassi and Kevin Smith DVD collections. They can stand side by side with this trilogy in the middle, segueing one into the other. If only Degrassi would do a crossover with Ninja Turtles, my entire library would be united.

Other than that, Kevin coming in Degrassi is just messed up. The premise of this three-parter was pretty ridiculous. Not that Degrassi hasn't gotten ridiculous before, but come on, there's a major movie being shot in Degrassi? And I wonder if any of the Degrassi characters noticed how horribly campy the movie looked. Kevin mentions that he was worried that these episodes would be the ones that brought Degrassi downhill, jump the shark, as they say. I don't think this is anywhere close to the worst episode ever done, but it's also not anywhere near as good as Kevin or anyone in the commentary thinks it is. I also think Kevin and them confused the media attention these episodes got with fan approval, because a lot of Degrassi fans really hate these episodes.

I still haven't said what I liked and disliked about it. I like the idea of Kevin and Jay coming to Degrassi. In fact, I was really excited about the news, being a big Kevin Smith fan. Clerks is one of my favorite movies and I am one of six people that enjoyed Clerks: the Animated Series and four people that like Mallrats. So me feelings on these three episodes is more disappointment that they were not as cool as they could have been. Should have seen that coming since Kevin Smith may be the king of phoning it in. I only way I can describe this trilogy is just "not good".

It's hard to believe the direction they decided to take these episodes. Ok, adult plotlines are always stupid and uninteresting, but what was the deal with making Kevin this cool and suave guy while making Joey fell like complete shit? It's like Kevin is Wolverine and Joey is Cyclops from X-Men 3. Hey, let's have Kevin come in and have the time of his life while he doesn't care that he breaks up Joey and Caitlin's relationship and is partly responsible for Craig running away. I don't even buy Kevin as cool. The normal reaction for any girl that Kevin wants to kiss is to vomit, not go with it. The show bent over backwards to make Kevin's dreams come true while the fans had pay the price.

And on top of that, did we really need so much damn Craig? No, no we did not.

But what disappoints me the most is that Spinner had such a small part in the trilogy. I expected him to do something awesome with Jason Mewes, based partly on seeing this photo. But Spinner and Jason didn't even look at one another. Fucking bummer, fucking bummer. I think CTV should do a TV movie where Spinner and Jay travel America together in an RV, because they both need to stay one step ahead of the cops. They can stop in city after city, deflowering virgins. There will also be weekly celebrity guests. This is basically follow the format of the old Scooby Doo show, but with less mystery solving and Harlem Globetrotters and more graphic sex.

You also have to wonder what the Degrassi people had planned for the season finale before Kevin Smith was booked. And I also guess I did explain the plot a lot.

Intensity Level: 81% Intense
Pretty damn intense with the kiss, the marriage proposal that lasted less than a day, and Craig going nuts and getting beat.

"Going Down the Road" Drinking Game:
Take a every time something ridiculously Canadian appears in the background.

Take two shots every time Jason makes a pass at a teenage girl.

Listen to the commentary track. Take three shot every time Kevin or Jason says something that makes Stacie noticeably uncomfortable.

Final Thoughts:
Season 4 has been an odd nut. It began very strongly with the Rick arc, beginning with the kickass "Mercy Street" and culminating with the emotionally nut crunching "Time Stands Still" and "Back and Black". For a month Degrassi cut back on the camp and wasn't just so ridiculous you were embarrassed to like the show. I'm a big Degrassi fan, but I tend to keep my love for the show to myself because I don't want people to start avoiding me. But there was actual power to those episodes. Hell, almost all serious or semi-serious high school TV shows have a school shooting episode, but none are as good as Degrassi's. Because with Degrassi, the shooting was actually built up over several episodes, instead of making the shooter an extra like others shows will do. We knew Rick and could see why he would be motivated to snap (the bullying + his anger issues). I don't know how far back the producers planned to have Rick shoot the school up, but it would have been believable from the first time we met Rick, really. Hell of a payoff. Most of the first half of this season was very well planned out, written and executed.

And then it went downhill. Suddenly it became the Craig show again. We got more of Craig being a total dick to people and no one calling him on it. The time Emma sucked dick was cool, and as far as some people not believing Emma would really be capable of doing that, I'll give the show the benefit of the doubt there. But "Secret" is held up too highly by the Degrassi people as one of the most amazing things they have ever done. I guess they forgot a little incident two years ago where Spinner got a boner.

What really burns my keester are the episodes after "Secret". Boy, are those all bad. The show really, really lost the focus they had earlier and it felt like they were pulling all these little plots out their ass at 9:30 AM so they could all leave work before lunch. "Eye of the Tiger" to "Moonlight Desires" all felt like the exact same episode. Plus, Spinner stopped being cool which is fucked up. Hey, Paige has a relationship with a teacher, um ok. Alex doesn't get expelled, what the fuck? Come on, she dumped the motherfucking paint on motherfucking Rick. Then she's hanging around Jimmy all the time. Alex has no remorse. With the direction they were going, I could see why no one would care if bringing on Kevin Smith would at all screw anything up.

Well, anyway, remember kids, the lesson of this episode is if you work hard to become famous then someday you may have a chance to appear on Degrassi: 2025.

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