"Venus" Part 1Season 5 Episodes 1 & 2
Canadian airdate: September 19th & 26th, 2005
Oh boy, the first episode of the final season. Will it be able to redeem Degrassi from the shitfest that was the second half of season 4? Let's see.
Some dude is filming girls at a pool. He's Peter, the new kid at Degrassi and an aspiring porn director. He's not very far along, since instead of filming girls at the beach, he has to use the public swimming pool.
Either Emma or Manny has a crush on him, I forget, but both girls are lounging at the pool.
Emma then shows off how ridiculously skinny she is. I think her breasts have also disappeared as a result. Too bad, I really liked those breasts and they were only really around for less than two seasons. Manny talks about it is her dream to be an actress. Whatever.
Cue the new credits. Ashley and Raditch are gone. Sean's departure is also permanent, that is very sad. Why couldn't we lose Ellie instead? But Jay and Alex have been promoted to main characters, as well as Principal Hotsause, and it only took her three years. That new fucker, Peter, is also going to be a main character now. That sucks. Seriously Degrassi, this is supposed to be the last season. Why are you adding new main characters out of the blue? We aren't going to be able to get to know them at all. Why didn't you just promote Chris?
Check out Spinner, it's the first day of senior year and he is finally sporting haircut that isn't stupid. But that doesn't help him get his friends back. All the main character seniors except Spinner strut into school right behind Jimmy in his wheelchair. That is kind of a funny sight. Spinner approaches the group and tries to play it cool, like before the days when he got Jimmy shot. But everyone blows him off, because Jimmy is still upset he is crippled, and Jimmy is the new leader of the group.
Fuck you guys. You don't deserve Spinner then. Hey, Marco what the fuck is that thing across your face, is that a neck brace or what? Fag. Hey how about you get a growth spurt?
Manny heads home to get some money from her parents. Manny made a few grand from that Kevin Smith movie, which is bullshit because Kevin Smith never pays anyone more than 30 bucks to be in his films, and that goes double for Ben Affleck. He only pays Jason Mewes in Milwaukee's Best Ice and weed.
But Manny's parents keep control of her money because they don't think she is responsible enough. I guess they are correct, since Manny is going to try to use the money to get breast implants. Oh yeah, then there was the time she got pregnant and had an abortion. Remember that?
Manny begs her mother for some money, and mom relents, but warns her, "You know how daddy is, he'll chop off our heads." Manny's dad must be intense. Judging by when we get to see him later, I don't think Manny's mom was exaggerating. She was genuinely scared they'd be decapitated.
Update: I didn't catch this at first because I don't pay that much attention to these damn episodes. Someone on the internet pointed this out. When Craig was communicating to Ellie via their own stupid sign language, look at one of the signs he flashed her. Hee hee. That gets my horribly juvenile funny bone. For any of our 14 year old readers, just ignore this. That sign means nothing. Go back to your Legos.
Craig's birthday is coming up, and Ellie wants to throw him a big party because Ashley left for England at the end of last season and hasn't come back yet. In fact, Ashley won't be coming back. Ellie receives an email from Ashley stating she has now decided to stay because she found a new boy. Fuck you Ashley. Craig was the best thing that ever happened to you. He was the only guy that liked you back when you were a damn Goth. Hey, how about when you agreed to marry him? Well, I guess she has forgotten that. Don't count on the producers to remember anything they wrote more than half an episode ago.
Manny makes her way down to a talent agent's office. Remember, Manny wants to be an actress. The secretary won't her let her through, but then Manny gives her a death stare, and I guess that is enough to scare the secretary into getting an appointment. I'll remember that when I go looking for work after college.
Manny auditions in front of the agent. Man, Lisa Loeb has really let herself go. Lisa Loeb turns Manny down, comparing her to milk for some reason, which I guess it bad. Fuck you Lisa Loeb. Milk is the best, just ask Mr. T. The agent then says something about Manny having chunky legs or something. Or she may have made some racist remark about Hispanics. I don't know, that scene was really hard to follow.
OH MY GOD MANNY WATCH OUT FOR THAT BUS! On the way home, Manny is almost run over by a bus.
The bus had a advertisement for a plastic surgeon. Manny has no sales resistance, so she instantly heads off to the plastic surgeon's office.
Hey what's Emma doing at the plastic surgeon's? I guess she is looking to get her boobs back. Maybe Emma missed a payment and the doctor took them back. Emma could really use some work to.
Actually, Emma is there because Manny asked her to come. Manny wants to get cosmetic surgery so people will stop making fun of her at school. Yeah...that will work. Manny, you're stupid.
Manny brings up the time Emma got her period in school, and told JT to fuck off when he made fun of her. God, that was an awesome Degrassi moment, and I'm glad we're remembering it four years later.
The plastic surgeon suggests Manny get a boob job, and Manny is all like, "Sweet, I'll go for it." God damn it Manny, no. Your breasts are just fine. I like big tits as much as the next pervert, but you are a short girl. DDs may look cool but will weigh you down. Being able to balance yourself and walk is a higher priority.
We now take you to Craig's surprise party at the Dot. It's being thrown at the Dot because that was the only place Ellie could get to host it. I guess her house, as well as Marco's, Hazel's, Paige, and Jimmy's were all unavailable that day. We've never even seen Hazel's house yet, now that I think about it. Maybe Hazel is homeless.
Spinner is alone. His friends still hate him but Spinner was still nice enough to let them use the Dot for the party. That's the kind of cool guy Spinner is. I don't know what the big deal was about reserving that table too, did they really need to? They eat there every day. These are the little things the writers are just pulling out of their asses.
Then Spinner tells Craig that Ashley won't be coming back to Canada, and Craig loses it. He's pissed Ellie held that information from him, goes all bi-polar, and punches Ellie in the throat before storming out.
By the way, I like when Jimmy complained about how they let Spinner back into school after what Spinner did to him, and then Paige told him no one cares about that anymore. I also think Paige called Ashley a dumb bitch.
Outside the Dot, Ellie is sad. Marco, fulfilling his role as the advice giver, tells Ellie she has a crush on Craig. Marco is always right about these things, so case closed.
Manny comes back to home to find her dad all crazy because her parents found out she plans to get a boob job. Manny's dad calls her a slut, which is right on the ball. Father knows best there. Manny's dad needs to lay down the law with Manny. Her parents can't afford to pay for yet another abortion.
Manny runs out of the house and heads off to a party that Peter invited her and Emma to. Emma has been busy partying with a couple of other blonde girls. One of the blonde girls insults Manny by saying Manny's just the kind of girl Peter would invite, which doesn't make any sense, because he would have invited that girl too.
Instead of hanging with Emma and the blondies, Manny drinks liquor at the bar. Eventually, the party wind downs and Peter approaches Manny, because everyone else has left six hours ago and Peter needs to get Manny out so he can lock up.
Peter takes Manny to another room, where drunk, Manny takes off her shirt while Peter has his camera on. Hot damn Peter is cool.