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"Death of a Disco Dancer"

Season 5 Episode 3
Canadian airdate: October 3rd, 2005

Boycott the Caf name: "Paige Gets High"
Important characters: Paige, Alex, Jimmy
Issue of the Week: Marijuana

Degrassi The Next Generation episode eighty four

OK, the A plot for this episode is so funny, I am going to get Jimmy's B plot out of the way so it doesn't fuck up my narration. Jimmy the cripple is helping coach the school basketball team, giving Coach Armstrong a break to coach all the other boys sports, as well as referee all home games and teach math and gym to every grade. Armstrong is a busy beaver and I don't mean "beaver" because he is black.

Jimmy tells the players how to use their legs when shooting the ball. At this point, I just burst out laughing.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode eighty four

But Jimmy's lack of leg power isn't winning him any respect among the players. One kid even says, "All the coaches out there and they give us a cripple." The thing is, he said this with Jimmy only a few feet away. Jimmy is like Rodney Dangerfield when it comes to respect. He should be likje Aretha Franklin.

Jimmy needs to prove himself to these smart mouth walkies, as he calls non-cripples. He does this in an awesome way; he totally fights one kid in his wheelchair. That's sweet. Jimmy can really handle himself in those wheels.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode eighty four

Fighting doesn't work, though, because that one kid would really prefer not to be known as the kid who fought the cripple. It's like fighting a girl: win or lose, you still look bad. So, Jimmy challenges him to a free throw competition. Jimmy wins by making a basket from the other side of the gym, thereby finally earning the team's respect. Too bad Jimmy made that shot by using a robot basketball from the future that always makes it into the basket. Dirty cheat from the future.

OK, let's head to the A plot.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode eighty four

Paige and Alex are working at the movie theater. Apparently, they are friends now. I guess Paige realized that all of her friends except Hazel had either moved away or were put into comas, so she had better make new friends somewhere before she will be forced to turn to Ellie.

Paige is excited about going to college. She wants to go to Banting, which is the Harvard of Canada. Alex is not planning to go to college, because she is poor and I guess poor people aren't allowed into college.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode eighty four

Who is that teacher and what is he doing in Armstrong's room? When did Degrassi Community School get enough money to hire a fourth teacher? Anyway, the nameless teacher discusses an instance in Canadian history when the prime minister or queen or somebody declared martial law so they could bomb Quebec. Man, that's pretty awesome of Canada, I did not know Canada had it in you to have martial law. Go Canada.

Alex and Paige start arguing about Canadian politics, which lands them in detention because in Canada dissent will NOT be tolerated. Every Canadian had better get along OR ELSE.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode eighty four

Paige is mad to be in detention because she has a date tonight with Matt Oleander, the guy from last season who was kicked out of teaching school for making out with Paige. That isn't the first school official Paige has gotten fired for having sex with, either. Ask me sometime about the real reason Raditch had to resign as principal.

Paige decides she shouldn't be in detention, so walks out. I didn't know a student in detention could just not go if they felt like it, but Mr. Simpson won't argue with her. Mr. Simpson doesn't care about his job anymore.

Hey, there's Peter from the last episode. He has 6 years of detention for passing around Manny's boobie video.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode eighty four Degrassi The Next Generation episode eighty four

We now get some pretty hot scenes of Paige changing clothes to get ready for her date. Funky music plays.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode eighty four Degrassi The Next Generation episode eighty four

Matt shows up for their date all homeless looking. After getting kicked out of the teaching college, Matt traveled Canada and became a dirty hippie who is opposed to washing his hair. He talks about how Paige going to college is "giving into the man" and not "groovy." So, they break up. As a consolidation gift, Matt gives Paige a marijuana joint.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode eighty four

The next day, Paige tries to pressure Alex to attend the college fair at Degrassi. Alex will only agree to go if Paige smokes pot with her. Well, it just so happens Paige still has the joint Matt gave her (she kept in her purse, I don't know why), so the girls head for that one area behind the Dot where people always fight, and light up.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode eighty four Degrassi The Next Generation episode eighty four

Now Paige and Alex are high as a kite at the college fair. They don't do anything but laugh a lot, but that's pretty much all you do when you smoke pot. They should have tried to play Excite Bike high, they'd do really good and that would make the game seem interesting for once. I would have liked it more if the scene got really trippy, with psychedelic graphics and that one Jefferson Airplane song playing in the background, but I guess we will have to save that for the episode when Toby drops acid and wakes up naked in the woods behind Marco's house with a wicked headache and a sore ass.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode eighty four

Paige and Alex are having fun being potheads, until Paige learns a rep from Banting is at the school and wants to talk with her. Oh no!

Paige runs to her office to try to work the pot out of her. But that doesn't work, because, you know, you can't force yourself to be sober. I know, I've tried. Sometimes you have to except your limitations, and just get behind that wheel anyway, because you have places to be and any people you hit can always be dumped in the woods.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode eighty four Degrassi The Next Generation episode eighty four

Paige has to meet the rep from Banting all stoned. She tries to handle herself and play it cool, man, real cool. But she just ends up giggling and admits she is high.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode eighty four

Well, Paige was rejected from Banting because of that. Plus the rep told her mom, so Paige is grounded. Remember kids, drugs will ruin your life forever, even if you a only do a tiny bit once. It got Paige rejected form the university she had always dreamed of going to, even though she has only mentioned that place in this episode. And Alex's mom is still a whore on welfare. Well, I guess Alex didn't lose anything from smoking pot, her life sucked already. But hey, she got free pot.

Paige and Alex mourn how crappy that have it, and the death of a disco dancer.

Rating: A+
I was entertained immensely by the idea of Paige smoking pot. It wasn't as cool as when Ashley went tripping on ecstasy and drank toilet water, but this episode is still a Degrassi classic. I don't care about Jimmy, but having him coach a basketball team made up of people who hate cripples is a pretty narly premise. It sounds like that premise could be an entire sitcom on CBS.

Intensity Level: 100% INTENSE
Well, I can say that in all my predictions on what would happen to the different characters, I never expected Paige to smoke pot. That's right out of left field. I know the writers have no idea what they are doing anymore and just picking plots at random, but this one really worked. A broken clock is still correct twice a day.

By the way, I tired looking for Banting college on the internet, but nothing came up, so I assume the college does not exist. Someone should tell Paige that.

Final Thoughts:
Manny flashed her breasts to the school and got kicked out of her home, now Paige got rejected from college for smoking pot. This season is apparently going to be the one where everyone ruins their lives. JT will get Liberty pregnant next week, Spinner lost all his friends, and Jimmy is in a wheelchair. By the season's end, Craig will kill Ellie in a bi-polar crazy binge, Toby will drive a car off a cliff, Hazel will become a suicide bomber, Marco will get full blown AIDS, and Emma will continue having to be Emma.

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