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Season 5 Episode 4
Canadian airdate: October 10th, 2005

Boycott the Caf name: "Liberty is Pregnant"
Important characters: Spinner, Darcy, JT, Liberty
Issue of the Week: Teen pregnancy, Jesus

Degrassi The Next Generation episode eighty five

You're going to want to sit down for this one kids, I have some shocking news for you. Well, I guess you are already were sitting down. So stand up and then sit back down again.

The big news is that JT and Toby Liberty have been having sex. Since at least the start of summer. Eww. Eww. God damn eww. I know Degrassi has been trying to really "go there" lately, but this has really crossed the motherfucking line. Who the hell would ever want to have sex with Liberty? JT you suck. And by the way, JT, I don't think you have roll of condoms there, from here it looks more like a tie. That could lead to trouble, you pathetic piece of shit.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode eighty five

Meanwhile, Spinner has found a new girl. Her name is Darcy and she is hot. Paige and Manny look like shit compared to her. Spinner, of course, wows her with his Spintastic masculinity. Of course Darcy likes Spinner, she is a girl, and the entire female race is a slave for Spinner. Spinner knows how to make a girl wet.

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Darcy invites Spinner to a room upstairs in the school. Spinner figures he and Darcy were going to have sex, so he is surprised to see the room full of kids having a meeting. Must be the Spinner Fan Club.

Turns out Darcy is part of a Christian club and has invited Spinner to pray with them. Spinner finds this way too strange, because as a person growing up in a Western country, he has no idea what Christianity is. Yeah.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode eighty five Degrassi The Next Generation episode eighty five

JT, Liberty, Toby, Manny, and Emma head to the movies. Yeah, five years and none of them have made any other friends. Well, Toby had Rick, but he's dead. And JT had Webster, but the less of him we see the better.

JT makes some innuendo to Toby about him and Liberty having sex. Liberty is offended by this and pours a cup of cola down JT's pants. And that's a theater sized cup, so JT got at least four gallons of pop down his pants.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode eighty five Degrassi The Next Generation episode eighty five

JT apologizes to Liberty and asks what has been bothering her lately. Here's the revelation: Liberty is pregnant and JT is the father. Holy MotherFuckingGodDamnMervGriffin Shit! Unbelievably gross. JT is so disturbed by this, he crashes his car in hopes of killing Liberty and the fetus, but JT is a stupid loser and can't even pull that off, so sadly, Liberty lives.

What is just ridiculous is how Liberty got pregnant. The story goes, JT wanted to have sex using a king size condom, but it slipped off. That's how he knocked up Liberty. Idiot. JT you need to use the micro condoms and you know it.

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Wow. Darcy is hot. Spinner knows how good he's got it.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode eighty five

Liberty does not want to get an abortion. Fuck you, Liberty, no one wants you to reproduce. One of you is bad enough, we don't need a smaller version of you. If an abortion was good enough for Manny, it is good enough for you. JT does his part by purchasing a pregnancy test, which is very awkward for him. JT, you tell me you can stomach seeing Liberty naked (which would blind any man who isn't a total loser), but can't go to the pharmacy?

Degrassi The Next Generation episode eighty five

JT goes to Liberty's house, and who should we meet, but Webster, Liberty's little brother. He appears to be smack dab in the middle of puberty right now, so he looks even dirtier than last year. Fuck, with this gene poll, I'll be surprised if the baby will know how to breathe.

The test comes back positive. The next day JT breaks up with Liberty, almost redeeming himself. That was pretty awesome, but then he gets back together and even gets a job so he can support Liberty when the baby arrives. Where this plotline will go from here, who the hell cares? I wish this would be one of those details the writers forget about by next episode.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode eighty five Degrassi The Next Generation episode eighty five

Spinner meets Darcy at the Dot for a coffee date. They hit it off well talking about Jesus and whatnot, but then Jimmy rolls on by. He still hates Spinner, and tries to ruin the date by telling Darcy that his condition is Spinner's fault. Darcy doesn't give a shit, though, and she and Spinner end their date by snapping the breaks off Jimmy's chair and rolling him down a hill.

Fuck you Jimmy. You can go to hell for trying to mess with Spinner, but you failed because you are a failure. You deserve to have your legs not work, and I ain't foolin.

Rating: A+
The entire JT and Liberty plotline gets an F- for featuring them. But the Spinner/Darcy romance gets a Super Kurt Russel A++, so that averages out to an A+.

Intensity Level: 100% INTENSE
Liberty being pregnant is 100% intense. I always imagined her womb would be too frigid and nasty to support life.

"Foolin" Drinking Game:
Take a drink every time you are disgusted in this episode. Example are anytime it is mentioned JT is banging away at Liberty, whenever they kiss, or anytime we have Liberty on screen.

More Awesome Spinner Quotes:
Spinner (on why he failed English): My dog got sick with leukemia. All his fur fell out right around exams. I was just too broken up over Sparky-

Darcy: Wow. Not only are your muscles firm, but you suck at lying too. And I know all about sucking too, if you get my drift.

Spinner: I do. And my pants are unzipped.

Darcy: Slurp slurp slurp

Final Thoughts:
Darcy is a great match for Spinner. She is somewhat of a challenge for our boy Gavin, which he'll like. Paige and Manny were a couple of whores and fuck them up the ass for leaving Spinner, but Darcy is smoking. I hope she is over 18 or I should stop writing about how hot she is. Spinner might become a Christian for her, which is appropriate, because Spinner is the black Jesus.

Oh, JT, how you have fallen. Any cred you built up in seasons 1-4, such as soliciting strippers, befriending Paige, besting Spinner, and dating Manny were obliterated when you went out with Liberty, and you suck even worse than Toby. Now we learn you had sex with Liberty. God damn you kid, if I ever see the actor who plays you in real life, I will punch you in the face.

Interestingly enough, Mr. Armstrong wasn't in this episode, but he is going to pissed when he learns the news. I anticipate a well deserved beat down for JT. You don't mess with a gym teacher's woman.

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