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"Tell It To My Heart"

Season 5 Episode 9
Canadian airdate: November 14th, 2005

Boycott the Caf name: "Emma and Peter Make Out" or "Another Gay Marco Show"
Important characters: Marco, Emma, Peter
Issue of the Week: Coming out

Degrassi The Next Generation episode ninety

The person who encodes these episodes from CTV in Canada and uploads them to the internet received over 400 hate mails last week, because she messed up a small part of the audio for the previous episode and we heard her family yelling at her. This is how stupid most Degrassi fans are: this person is uploading Degrassi episodes so people outside of Canada can see them only a few hours after they air in Canada. And instead of being grateful someone is doing all this work FOR FREE, they bitch and moan and harass this person by email for one little slip up.

You people all suck. I hope you are all ashamed at yourselves. You know I have been ashamed at you all for years.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode ninety Degrassi The Next Generation episode ninety

There's a new gay kid at Degrassi. His name is Tim and he keeps getting beat up by dudes. For some reason everyone around this Tim kid wants to kick his ass. Get this, he came out to his best friend, so his best friend responded by punching him in the face. And look at Craig there. He wasn't about to run over to Tim to stand up to the bullies, he was going to kick Tim in the stomach. Craig has angry bi-polar rage again. I can't believe they are all beating him up just because he is gay. Marco has been the gay kid at Degrassi for a while now and no one has beaten him up except those guys at the park. But Marco is so incredibly gay to the point those bullies think he's contagious. Tim is just one of those guys that get people really angry at for no particular reason. Maybe Tim smells bad.

Marco decides to take Tim under his wing and help him learn what it is like to be gay. Marco will show Tim ALL the ropes if you get my drift.*

*(You most likely did not get my drift. I am implying that Marco will have anal sex with Tim. It will be a new experience for Marco too, because Marco isn't used to being on top).

Degrassi The Next Generation episode ninety

There must be something about Tim that just makes people want to kick his ass. Maybe because he's always hunched over and wears that beret like a damn coffeehouse emo kid. Fuck, I hate coffeehouse emo kids.

The next day, Tim was at home and forgot to log out of www.bigblackdicks.com. His dad caught what he was looking at, so Tim ran out of his house and spent all night in the street, but still was dressed and showered for school next day. Those gays are quite naturally clean.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode ninety Degrassi The Next Generation episode ninety

Marco advises Tim to bite the bullet and come out to his dad. Tim does so and his dad kicked him out of his house. Just like Manny a couple of months ago. What's deal with Canadian child care laws? Aren't you supposed to look after your kids until they're 18? I guess no one in Canada respects those laws. Like America had with prohibition. Or I have with laws against public masturbation.

Tim seeks sanctuary at Marco's house. This creates some trouble, because Marco's dad still doesn't know Marco is gay. Tim is fucking pissed off that Marco told him to come out to his dad when Marco hasn't yet. That was pretty shitty of Marco to do. Marco really was out of his league with advice giving this time. Marco should stick to telling the straight kids which person they have a crush on.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode ninety

Meanwhile, there's a B plot going on. Peter is attracted to Emma. I don't know why, she doesn't have boobs. And Peter likes boobs a whole bunch.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode ninety

Emma and Manny decided to use Peter's crush to get back at Peter BIG TIME. No one videotapes Manny's breasts and gets away with, except all the people who will do it to Manny in the future when she falls into the internet porn business. Emma will go after Peter like he is genetically modified food or Aunt Flow.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode ninety

Their plan involves Emma seducing Peter and then taking some naked pictures of him. This would work out better if Emma had the looks that were at all capable of seducing someone. In that little black dress she resembles a horse. Emma should have at least worn her dolphin pants, those are the only thing that will make her look sexy. God, I love seeing her in the dolphin pants.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode ninety Degrassi The Next Generation episode ninety

Well, Peter has lowered his standards, so he and Emma totally make out in his house. Oh yeah! Emma becomes the aggressor in bed (Emma takes after her mom). She throws Peter to his bed and rips off his clothes. She undoes Peter' pants so fast I was expecting her to suck his dick. But then Emma stops because Peter's bedroom is actually in his dad's living room, so someone could walk in at any moment. Peter doesn't get to jack off that much either.

Seeing him with his shirt off, you notice Peter has larger breasts than Emma..

Degrassi The Next Generation episode ninety

Hey, almost forgot, we still have Marco's story. I was distracted by all the non-gay making out. Marco needs to rectify his situation. So he comes out to his father, who by the way looks like a cross between Marco and Horatio Sanz. I don't care about Marco, so I'm just going to stop here. If you have a problem with that you can tell it to my heart.

Rating: F
I would have given this a better score because the show completely forgot about Tim halfway through. Where does he go after he was kicked out his house and then left Marco's? Who knows or even cares? No one at Degrassi that is. And I applaud them for just letting Tim disappear.

I'm at least looking forward to next week's episode when Spinner joins a cult. Sweet!

Intensity Level: 1% Intense
That make out scene was kind of intense, but Emma stopped short of earning her bracelet, so I was let down.

"Tell It To My Heart" Drinking Game:
Take a shot every time one of the characters says something sarcastic. Pretty much every other line of dialogue from one of the characters this season has been something sarcastic. Stupid teenagers and their jaded sense of the world.

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