"The Lexicon of Love" Part 2<- Part 1
Paige is freaked out by that kiss because she doesn't want to be gay. Alex, though, is completely relaxed about the whole thing. Paige wants to discuss this, but every time they try to talk, they just end up making out again. They are so gay for each other.
Jay spies in on their latest lip action. After he zips his pants back up, he tells Hazel what he saw. I enjoyed seeing Jay and Hazel interact for the first time. I was surprised they knew each other's name. I would have thought Jay would just run up to her yelling "Hey black girl! Black girl over here!" Hazel be like, "Wazzup Smelly kid. Yo yo yo, snizzle." ha ha hee.
What is Jay even doing around school? Is he enrolled again? Probably not, he's 2 cool 4 school.
Hazel asks Paige if she is a lesbian. In typical sitcom fashion, Paige says the kiss meant nothing, right when Alex is standing at her side. In TV, no one can ever tell if someone is standing to the side of them, and that's when they'll always say something bad about that person.
Now for more wacky Kevin Smith action. There's a special assembly to honor Kevin Smith. Ms. Hotass gives Kevin an honorary diploma, but Kevin is only there because he thought there would be a buffet. My college gave a diploma to Barbara Bush last year. I don't know if any of you have ever seen Barbara Bush in person, but she looks just like a polar bear.
The cheerleaders have also been ordered to entertain Kevin. He is being regaled like a king. The cheerleaders don't have a routine planned out and screw up their performance. I don't blame them for having nothing, it's not like they have any room there to actually do anything interesting. The stage isn't that big to begin with and there is a big ass podium in the way. Ms. Hotass was a jerk for expecting them to put on a show under these condtions.
Paige needs some advice on how to deal with Alex. So, she goes to the obvious source for advice on the matter of love between two women, Kevin Smith. That's right. What is the deal with Kevin Smith? The only adults who have the need to hang around high school kids this much are teachers and pedophiles.
Anyway, Kevin Smith tells Paige that lesbian shit is pretty hot, so she should totally go for it. Paige is convinced. That's a lot like when Marco decided to be gay when Dr. Sally told him he was.
Now we got to Alex's house. It's right there in that slum below the building Jimmy used to own. Unless the show owns that whole area, the people who live there in real life might be pissed Degrassi is portraying their neighborhood as full of drunken poor people. Degrassi is just hoping they don't own TV sets down there. Alex's family must be Jimmy's serfs.
Alex and Jay are hanging on the couch. The crazy guy who beat up Alex comes by with a box of beer and a smile. Jay and Alex's mom then make out.
Paige comes by to apologize to Alex. The two girls then make out again. Jay and crazy guy high five to this.
Paige and Alex are well versed in the lexicon of love.
Oh yeah. Emma told her mom about Snake and Ms. Hotass and Snake was then kicked out of the house. Emma cried a lot. When Emma cries her face looks like a crumbled sponge. And that's if the lighting is good.Rating: B+
Really, I know all of you are disappointed this didn't get a perfect score. But you are stupid to doubt my judgment. Here's my justification:
Alex and Paige's hot lesbian love: A+
Kevin Smith has to return, minus one point: A
No Spinner, minus another point: A-
Emma B plot, minus another point: B+
Intensity Level: 91% Intense
The kissing was hot. Way to rock out Degrassi.
Snake cheating was sweet as well. Way to take your life into your own hands, Snake. Spike sucked and was too controlling. Ms. Hotass is smoking and has a son who can set you up with a library of home made porn.
I don't know if this episode is takes place around the same time it airs, but it's December now. Canada has snow and lots of it. This is noticeably absent on the show. God damn it producers.