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"High Fidelity" Part 1

Season 5 Episodes 18 & 19
Canadian airdate: March 13th and 20th, 2006

Boycott the Caf name: "Spinner Gets All the Ladies"
Important characters: Spinner, Darcy, Paige, Alex
Issue of the Week: Graduation, Jesus (III)

Well, it's the season 5 finale and the Degrassi producers have decided to give us all what they know we want: a two part Spinner episode where he spends all his time loving various ladies.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode ninety nine Degrassi The Next Generation episode ninety nine

Get the fuck out of the way, Emma and Manny, Spinner needs him some Darcy. Too bad they can't have sex with Jesus watching.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode ninety nine

Manny can't resist her attraction to Spinner. It has been to long since she was last taken for a "spin." Darcy don't like this competition.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode ninety nine

Paige got accepted to Banting, even though she was high as a kite in front of her admission rep and we were led to believe that ruined Paige's chances of getting in. I guess Banting is just a big party school and they don't care who the fuck they let in. Banting is the Florida State of Canada.

Also, Alex was fired from the movie theater because she didn't put enough butter on some stuck up Montreal guy's popcorn. The new manager, Big Mama, didn't like that. Now Alex said she might just go on welfare after high school and this makes Paige mad that Alex is setting herself so low. Yeah, too bad from what we learned from Sean, welfare in Canada rocks. I want to move to Canada and be on welfare.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode ninety nine

Spinner is at the movies on a date with Darcy. Darcy starts bitching about Manny coming on to him. Spinner doesn't need to hear no woman yapping about her problems so he heads to the lobby. He meets Paige and Paige gives him a free bag of candy. Sweet! Things are looking good for Spinner.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode ninety nine Degrassi The Next Generation episode ninety nine

There is a Degrassi fiftieth anniversary play being put on. One of the actors has come down with AIDS, so Spinner has been picked to fill in for a scene where some guy has sex with Manny on stage. Darcy objects to this and tries to get someone else to fill in for the role, but no guy wants to replace Spinner because they know they'll just be embarrassed trying to measure up to him.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode ninety nine Degrassi The Next Generation episode ninety nine

Darcy calls Manny a slut so Manny has to throw down. "That is the last time anyone ever calls me that!" Manny yells. Yeah, I don't think so Manny. People are going to keep calling you a slut for the same reason people will always call an elephant big. We know you'll never stop flashing your breasts or having sex with strange men, no matter how old and crusty you get. Just like Samantha from Sex and the City.

Manny and Darcy fight. And remember, they are fighting over Spinner so there's going to be a lot of blood and broken bones. Needless to say, one girl would be walking way from that fight dead if Spinner had not used his well defined biceps to pry the girls apart.

The problem is that Darcy is mad because Spinner is not a virgin like she is. Why the fuck did she ever think he was, he's Spinner after all? That's like dating Bill Gates and being under the impression he's poor. Then again, Spinner did lie and tell Darcy he was a virgin. And you DO NOT contradict Spinner.

Girl on a Date with Spinner: Look at how beautiful the bright blue sky is.

Spinner: It's orange. The sky is orange!

Girl: Yes Spinner. You are correct. Well thank you for walking me to my house. You're really sweet.

Spinner: You mean my house. This is my house.

Girl: um...um...but...

Spinner: Excuse me?

Girl: No sir! I am sorry sir. [Girl begins to undo Spinner's zipper.]

Spinner: That's right. Now tell your family it was nice to have them visit, but they have to get out of my house now. And make sure they leave all that furniture. That's mine too.

Anyway, to please Darcy, Spinner agrees to undergo a Christian purifying ceremony that will make him a virgin once again. Jesus Club sets up the ceremony. Now this is Spinner we're talking about, so it's going to take a full blown exorcism to restore his virginity. There's earthquakes and blood coming out of the walls and ghosts flying all over the room. Three Jesus Club members died and another will never use his lungs again, but Spinner is now a virgin once more. I guess.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode ninety nine

But this doesn't please Darcy. The merry couple is having a picnic outside Jimmy's old mansion when Spinner lets it slip that he had sex with two cheerleading squads over the summer. Darcy is mad that she keeps finding out there were more and more women he tapped. Well, sure he can't write down a list of all the girls he banged because there is only so many trees in the world.

Spinner is tired of Darcy not letting this go, so he breaks up with her right there. I think he takes his car and leaves Darcy alone in the middle of nowhere. The middle of nowhere is Jimmy's old backyard.

As sweet as Darcy is, Spinner has a point here. Despite the fact that Spinner has sunk more girls that China's One Child Only Policy, he did agree to refrain from sex since he met Darcy. That's been a whole season! I mean, Darcy doesn't consider giving a hand job to be sex, but still.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode ninety nine

At some point, Alex and Paige break up because Paige is going to climb to the top of the business ladder and Alex is unable to escape her family's cycle of poverty. Alex returns to her house where Jay is watching TV. They reignite their friendship. Now the core membership of the Candy Bandits are together again! Season 6 is looking to be awesome now.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode ninety nine

Long story short, after the breakup, Paige is hanging out at the Dot when Spinner is closing the store. They kiss.

Wowza!

On to Part 2 ->

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