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"Eyes Without a Face" Part 1

Season 6 Episodes 5 & 6
American airdates: October 20th & November 3rd, 2006

Boycott the Caf name: "The First Episode Gets Rehashed, But This Time Darcy Shows Off Her Legs"
Important characters: Darcy, Peter, Spinner, JT, Mia, Ellie
Issue of the Week: Myspace

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Darcy gets home from her daily make out session/blow job with Spinner and goes online to work on her Myspace My Room page. Darcy shares her bedroom with her younger sister, Claire, who is even more of a fundamentalist Christian than Darcy. So this means she probably thinks everyone is going to hell except for her and George W. Bush.

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The next day at school, Darcy, Manny and black girl discuss how to raise money for new cheerleading uniforms. The cheerleaders have been fundraising for about four years now so they should have new uniforms. I guess they should have done more than that one car wash. And didn't they just get new uniforms a few years ago? Ah, who cares? Manny wants new uniforms because she doesn't think the current ones show enough skin. The shorts don't even reveal the lower part of her ass. Darcy wants the ream to recruit boys because that will help them compete in cheerleading competitions. Manny likes this idea because boys have penises and Manny has a strong pro-penis bias.

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Meanwhile, JT acts all disgusting and immature in front of Liberty with the load of gum in his mouth and whatnot. Man, it's nice to see signs of old season 1 and 2 JT. The JT we've grown to love. Liberty is hates how disgusting JT is being, which is like a rabbit hating someone else for having long ears.

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Darcy goes on Degrassi school TV to recruit boys for cheerleading. She says George W. Bush used to be a cheerleader. I looked it up and turns out that is true. Man, that explains the problems in Iraq so well now. Peter swings by Darcy and mentions how cool her Myspace My Room page is.

Mr. Simpson begins the class by saying, "It's hard drive maintenance day. Can you stand the excitement? I can't." He is, in fact, not excited about hard drive maintenance day. He said that very sarcastically and in a monotone voice like those three sentences were all one word. The actor who plays Simpson doesn't want his job anymore.

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The cheerleading boy tryouts don't go so well. Turns out the only boys interested in cheerleading are uncoordinated perverts who just want to touch girls and closeted gays who are sad when they learn they can't wear the skirts. But then Peter comes by and impresses the girls by being able to stand in his hands when two guys hold him up. I guess that's impressive. I suppose not anyone can stand on his hands if he has two guys to hold him up.

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Spinner gives Darcy a ride home. Darcy is frustrated because Spinner won't make out with her more. Yeah, that is the frustration of all women who Spinner has romanced. But Spinner can only give so much for his partner's health. Like fine wine, it is very healthy in moderation, but overindulging can lead to serious problems.

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When Darcy gets home, Claire asks if she still has her bra on. Yeah, Spinner's reputation is well known. Darcy checks her Myspace My Room account and finds she has messages from many online admirers, including one asking about the aztec wheel. Darcy decides to put up more sexy photos on her Myspace My Room page.

The next day Darcy is all over Spinner and says she is so lucky to have him. That's an understatement. Spinner gives Darcy a bracelet he made out of an old leather jacket from his elementary school street fighting days.

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JT has gone to work back at that children's show. He has also attracted the attention of that Mia girl, the teenager with the kid. JT loves kids, so he is cool with that. And girls who get pregnant in high school are often slutty, so he is cool with that too. But Liberty is sad that JT has moved on. It's also awesome he moved on with another girl who got pregnant in high school. Fuck you Liberty. You being sad gives me a hard on.

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Boy tryouts are still going on. Afterward, Manny, Peter, and Darcy pack up the equipment. Peter takes out his camera and photographs the two girls being sexy. What? Manny should know better than to be in front of Peter and a camera, but then again Manny can't resist acting like a whore (Manny's ancestry is also half Filipino and half retarded). Darcy really enjoys being photographed as well. She puts the pictures on her Myspace My Room page. This makes her late for Spinner to give her a ride home, but Spinner passed the time by smoking pot outside the school so he doesn't mind.

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The sexy photos of Darcy on her Myspace My Room page has attracted a rich online admirer named Adams, who pays her $200 by email to buy the new uniforms. Kickass. How many webcam whores make that much money in one day? Probably a few, I would guess.

Part 2 is this way -->

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