The Web BtC
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"Crazy Little Called Love"

Season 6 Episode 8
American airdate: November 17th, 2006

Boycott the Caf name: "Sean is Out of the Slammer"
Important characters: Sean, Emma, Jay, Webster, Derek
Issue of the Week: Getting out of jail

B plot:

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Fuck, a Webster and Derek subplot. This episode is going to be very dirty and ugly looking. Webster and Derek are having trouble with a teacher, Mr. Whatshisname. Mr. Whatshisname gets mad at the two assholes because they ran into him and broke his coffee mug and also they don't do their work in class. Using the mentally challenged logic Degrassi goes by, this makes the teacher the bad guy.

The teacher tells Derek that he could be doing better in class, and for some reason Derek takes this a threat. Derek is a pussy, one wet and stinky pussy. Derek and Webster actually put minimal effort into their history presentation and do alright. But then some other kid doesn't have his presentation ready and the teacher fails him. Derek can't believe a teacher would fail someone for not doing his assignment. He runs off to Mr. Simpson. Simpson's mothering instinct kicks in and he protects Derek from the teacher who just wants his students to do the work they are assigned.

The B plot ends with Mr. Whatshisname under investigation. I guess the teacher's have a really shitty union. Mr. Simpson then takes Derek into the teacher's lounge to breast feed him.

A plot:

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Sean is out of jail and living with Emma. This is getting ridiculous. That house can only hold so many people. They can't host every one of Emma's friends or the septic tank is going to fail. And you don't want that. It's a good thing Manny and Emma never eat then. Spike is also glad to have a man around the house for once.

Snake and Spike ask Sean about his plans. When Sean tells them about his plan to open his own auto shop, Snake and Spike asks how a high school dropout with a criminal record is going to get a bank loan for that. But Jimmy and Spinner were able to set up their t-shirt business in a couple of days just last week, so I doubt it will be a problem. Canada is also the country that gave Sean student welfare yet refused to help out Manny when she was kicked out of her house, or JT and Liberty when they were pregnant. I'm sure there is a federal agency whose sole purpose is to just give Sean money.

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Sean gets a job at the auto mechanic's place Jay works at. Sean is so happy to have his best friend and girlfriend together with him, though he doesn't know that his best friend and girlfriend were together without him, out in the ravine with his dick in her mouth. Good times. Good times.

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Emma is feeling guilty about Sean not knowing about that time she went down on Jay. She tries not to mention it at their first date, which is of course at the Dot. Spinner is letting them dine there after closing. I guess Spinner owns the Dot now.

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Sean wonders what Emma is hiding from him, so he asks Jay. Jay is reluctant to tell Sean, but he is very cool about the way he tells Sean about the ravine incident. When Sean asks if they had sex, Jay responds, "It depends how look at it. I had more than she did." Later, he tells Sean that Emma chased him down. Which is true, Emma really wanted that penis in her mouth.

Sean is pissed off about this blow job thing. He yells at Emma for having sex while he was away and also not dating her for about a year. Emma accuses Sean of being unable to face the real world and running away whenever he can't handle something. Sean says that is bullshit and to prove her wrong he runs away.

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Sean books passage on the next ocean liner leaving for Greece, the land where John Stamos is from. He is all set to leave that hellhole Canada behind forever when he sees an old photo of him and Emma that Emma gave him when he was released from the big house. It makes Sean pine for the good old days when Degrassi episodes were only mildly ridiculous. He then sees a man and woman show affection for each other. I think that couple is supposed to remind him of him and Emma. That is if Sean were three feet taller and Emma ate food.

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Sean comes crawling back to Emma. They decide to be in love again and Sean is going to try to get his job back and finish high school. Won't be hard. This has been the fifth or sixth time Sean has fucked up his life and he always bounces back. Emma and Sean also have it good because they are dating and get to live together and her parents are totally cool with it. Sean is probably sleeping in her room, it's not like there is anywhere else to put him and that basement is plenty big. That would be a great setup, except Manny is there and she seems like a chronic masturbator. Which sounds cooler than it really when it's late at night and you trip over a pile of fourteen vibrators.

Emma and Sean stay together because of that crazy little thing called love.

Rating: F
Man, I can't remember if the show has ever had a worse B plot. Besides the fact that it made little sense, as of this writing, I have managed to almost make it to Christmas without getting a cold, but every time I see Webster and Derek on TV, I start sneezing, my nose gets clogged up and my eyes water. Webster is just so dirty looking that it literally does make me sick. And Derek is almost as filthy.

The main plot was also not that great either. I don't know if I said this before, because I don't care to re-read any of these reviews, but the proper way to handle the Sean situation would be for him and Spinner to beat Peter unconscious with a sock full of pennies, wrap him in a sleeping bag and toss him into Lake Ontario from out of a helicopter. Anything less gets an F.

Intensity Level: 4% Intense
God, I am sick of doing these intensity level things.

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