"Standing in the Dark" Part 2<-- Back to Part 2
Darcy wakes up to find herself naked in bed with Peter. OMG! Darcy and Peter had sex! Darcy is not getting into heaven now.
If you lost track, currently Marco, Paige, Ellie and Alex are living under one roof. They also may be two Japanese girls living with them. It's hard to tell. Paige and Alex are sharing a room, and Marco says that he knows they are playing house in there. They're playing House, MD. Paige plays the curmudgeonly Dr. House who can diagnose rare and unusual illnesses but is extremely antisocial. Alex plays one of House's colleagues who frequently clashes with the insufferable Dr. House, but they never let that get in the way of saving a patient's life.
Peter tells Webster and Derek that he thinks Darcy and him had sex, but he doesn't remember if they did. That's still better than either of them can say, at least about girls. They don't count it is a sex when they suck each other's dicks.
Darcy asks Peter if he told anyone they had sex. Peter says no and tells darcy "If you were mad at me, I couldn't take it." If Darcy were mad at Peter, he'd throw her under bus.
Peter and Darcy meet Emma and Manny at the Dot. Emma and Manny let bygones be bygones with Peter. Emma does not care that Peter got her boyfriend expelled. One of the new characters comes in and congratulates Peter and Darcy for having sex. I want to know how the word got out when Peter only told Webster and Derek It's not like anyone talks to either of those two other than Toby. I bet they told Toby and then Toby spoke about it on his podcast after recommending some anti virus software and pretending to be Bill Clinton.
Darcy and Peter argue and Peter tells her that he isn't sure they had sex. Darcy remembers having sex but Peter doesn't. However, he does remember Darcy passed out on the couch. Now Darcy has the willys. Johnny wants you all to know that this would have been a good time for the police officer behind them to come up to them, point to the audience and say "Remember kids, date rape can happen to anyone, including you. So be on the lookout." He would then hand Darcy and Peter a pamphlet.
The next day at school, Manny and Emma welcome Darcy into the club of girls who screwed up when they lost their virginity. The Asian girl from Jesus Club confronts Darcy about breaking her abstinence pledge and takes away Darcy's abstinence ring. I guess Darcy has been deposed as leader of Jesus Club. Being leader of Jesus Club is a lot like being Roman emperor, you become leader through assassination The first leader of Jesus Club was Linus. He was deposed after he protested gay sex. Spinner then made Jesus Club choose between Linus, their devote leader, or him, a guy who wasn't even in to Christianity. Jesus Club made the logical choice and Darcy became new leader. Now she's out. She forgot the first rule of being president of Jesus Club: watch your back.
Manny and Darcy talk more about Manny's favorite subject when that one girl comes by and says that the police are on the lookout for a roofie rapists running around Mount Canada. She's the girl who earlier congratulating Peter and Darcy for having sex. She just keeps popping by Darcy and Manny to say something that moves the plot along. I think she is trying hard to be Manny and Darcy's friend by standing next to them as long until the two just assume she is their friend.
Marco is sad that Dylan has not called after leaving for Europe to play gay hockey for the Swiss National Gay Hockey Team. Ellie tries to hook him up with a black guy who works at her school newspaper, but Marco is unwilling to let Dylan go. But Marco also wonders if that rumors about the size of black dudes is true. He decides to meet the black guy one more time and the black guy offers to take Marco into the wood because he knows a secluded rest stop.
Marco decides to go black and break up with Dylan. He reached this decision when he found out that Spinner and Jimmy's t-shirt store went out of business. You have to lay all the lame for the failure of the store at Jimmy's feet (too bad for Jimmy he won't be able to pick the failure up). Spinner gave the store his all, he found the location, attracted the customers and provided security. Jimmy needs to realize no one cares to buy a t-shirt with just a black figure on it, not even black people. Jimmy though black people would love buying shirts with black things on them. Boy, did he underestimate the fact that black people can't afford twenty dollars for a t-shirt.
Johnny also wants you all to know that the thing Marco phones Dylan with looks more like a digital camera than a cell phone and that is probably why he hasn't gotten a call from Dylan.
Darcy goes to the doctor and learns she has Chlamydia She knows that Peter did not have sex with her, it was someone else. Darcy was date raped. She tells this to Many and then cries. Manny holds her. That's right Manny, hold her, hold her tight, now rub her leg and give her a kiss, so she'll feel safe.
Darcy is ashamed that she was raped. A good Christian girl doesn't give it away like that. Darcy attempts suicide in the girls locker room by slicing her wrists. She doesn't kill herself because she only went across the street instead of down the road. Darcy is stupid like that.
Manny find Darcy and she is rushed to the hospital. Darcy doesn't tell anyone other than Manny that she was raped, which is good because it's not like the police could use that information to apprehend a serial rapist. Darcy has to meet with the guidance counselor, Ms. Sovey because Darcy tried to commit suicide on school grounds and the school is worried about being liable. Ms. Sovey helps Darcy put together an safety plan so this won't happen again. Phase #1 of the plan: Darcy is only allowed access to plastic knives.
Peter gives Darcy her abstinence ring back because it doesn't count if she was raped. Peter stole the ring from the Asian girl's locker.
This was a very good episode. Degrassi has been long over do for a good rape again, but the wait was well worth it and the show did not disappoint. It was great that we finally saw Darcy's parents, thereby ending my speculation that she didn't have parents and just lived alone with her younger sister. Like the Chipettes.
I've said it several times that the show has been downhill since season 4 (not that it was ever up there with The Sopranos or even Spin City to begin with), but this was the best episode since Rick shot up the place. I don't know if the show is going to pick up in quality now or this episode was a fluke, but I hope it is a trend. If the show picks up in quality not only will it be more enjoyable to watch, but then I'll stop bursting blood vessels in my head when I watch this show because I won't be screaming about how a national government could honestly use taxpayer's hard earned money to pay for shit like this.
Does It Go There? Hell Yeah! Whoop Whoop!
Upon watching this episode, Johnny and I noted how Darcy really tried to top every other girl on the show. In one hour, she got drunk like Manny, raped like Paige, contracted an STD like Emma a tried to kill herself like JT. Hell, she even caused some trouble in the caf like Spinner. If Darcy had gotten pregnant, she would have taken home the Trifecta!
What The N didn't want you to see (banned in America!):
- Pop Tarts. Why the hell did they blur out the Pop Tart box? Maybe The-N is owned by the company that makes Toaster Strudels.
Who Should Get Kicked In The Face This Week? This is my newest feature in the reviews. I figure since I often get very angry at someone once an episode it is about time I singled out someone to get kicked in the face each week. The first winner is Darcy, for all the reason mentioned previously. Darcy is a functioning idiot. For some reason her stupidity was never enough to get her held back a grade (I blame the horrible school setting that is Degrassi) yet she still is too dumb to ever be trusted to stay safe when she leaves her bedroom. Lord help her when she goes out into the real world and needs to get a job.
"Well, Ms. Edwards, you're resume looks good. But if you want this job, you'll have to get naked on that couch and let me fuck you."
"Really? Is this even legal?"
"Perfectly legal. Now shut up and get naked. You're mouth won't be used for talking."
Who raped Darcy? Many have speculated but only I have the answer. Some believe it was Dean, he certainly likes it. But Dean treats rape like an art form. First, he's going to catch your eye at a soccer game, then he'll invite you to a party at his house, then he'll overpower you and fuck you at the time and place of his choosing. He'll also rape you when you are wide wake, Dean don't go for wussy ass roofies. This is so his face will be burned on your memory and also Dean gets hard watching a girl cry.
No, the date rapist was none other than Kevin Smith. You heard me right, it was Kevin Smith. Let's look at the evidence. We know from "Going Down the Road" that Smith is sexually attracted to Degrassi stars, they are the only way he can get sexually aroused (while not at Burger King). Kevin Smith also can't stay away from Degrassi. He appeared in the 4th and 5th seasons so it's about time he would appear again. It's not like he's ever been able to have sex without paying for it. I'm sure he was able to get into the high school party because he supplied the alcohol and he got a hold of the roofie because he know Jason Mewes. Finally, Darcy said that the person who raped her smelled really bad. I rest my case.
Did any of the Degrassi girls have a good time losing their virginity? Let's look at the record.
Paige - raped by Dean (I seriously doubt this was Paige's first time, but that is what she claimed in court, perjuring herself of course)
Manny - first time was with Craig, she became pregnant.
Emma - oral sex with Jay, she developed gonorrhea
Liberty - first time with JT, she became pregnant
Ashley doesn't count. No one cares about her.
SPECIAL BONUS REVIEW: ABOUT A GIRL - EPISODE 1!
After The-N aired this episode, they debuted their first original comedy series, About A Girl. It's about a girl. Ha ha ha.
The girl is moving into the dorms for her sophomore year of college. But she doesn't like her dorm because it is small. Fuck you girl, that dorm room is a normal size especially considering that you asked for a single. What do you expect? The bigger rooms are going to be set aside of people willing to share with a roommate. The girl also doesn't like that their is a big hole in the ceiling which leads to a bathroom and two dudes who spend their time watching her. So the girl decides to find somewhere else to live, such as the spot next to a vending machine. Wacky!
The girl steals someone's scooter to look for a place to rent. She could have just put something over the hole in her room and complained to the Residential Life department to fix it, but then we wouldn't have a premise for a sitcom. I guess thus is not a plot stretch, because there has never been a university Residential Life department that has ever been the least bit helpful. They'll probably still charge the girl for room and board. They'll also fine her for putting the hole in the ceiling and claim it wasn't there before she moved in.
The girl has no luck finding an apartment until she runs into a guy who has a place for her. The only problem is that she will share the house with four guys! One of whom she has a crush on BUT HAS A GIRLFRIEND!
I smell a sitcom!
Things don't go well for the girl in the new house. All the guys fart and burp in her face becuase...well, they're retarded. The girl also thinks her car is stolen (which would serve her right because she did steal someone else's vehicle) but the guys just taped the door back on. Also, one of the guys can be heard having sex in the room next to her when she tries to sleep, but it's not like the girl wouldn't face that annoyance if she was back in the dorms. Also the two blacks guys on the show look exactly the same. I'm not just saying that because they are black, but because they do look exactly the same. And I thought Spinner and Sean were the same person when I first saw them. One of the guys show off a large dump he took in the toilet. Everyone is proud of this except for the girl, who is disgusted. This is because guys and girls are so different. Even though any normal adult male who did not exist in a sitcom would not want to look at poop. But back in caveman days, showing a woman that you can produce a large stool demonstrated your vitality as a male.
And that's About A Girl. It's really, really unfunny. I mean, The-N doesn't have high standard for what they consider a "comedy" as evidenced by the fact that they air Sabrina, the Teenage Witch. At least the show lacks a ridiculously loud TGIF style laugh track, but that could just be the laugh track machine taking a look at the first episode and said "Fuck this, even I have standards." Johnny and I both came to the same conclusion about this show: The-N really shouldn't be allowed to call it a comedy series when it is not funny. For instance, you can have a cheesy high school drama series and it can have bad writing and poor acting, but you can still call it a drama if stuff still happens to people. But a comedy needs jokes to qualify as a comedy and did I mention that About A Girl has none?
Come on, The-N if you guys want to make funny show, you know how to get in touch with us. We have plenty of ideas and will work for very little money.