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"Love is a Battlefield"

Season 7 Episode 3
American airdate: October 12th, 2007

Boycott the Caf name: "The Actress Who Plays Alex Needed a Quick Out to Leave the Show"
Important characters: Paige, Alex, Manny, that new black guy
Issue of the Week: Inter-class relationships, racism

Johnny: Degrassi has to be careful. They're running out of 80's songs that they can base episodes out of.
Billy: I can't wait for the episode when they all take a trip to Panama.
Johnny: I can't wait for the episode where someone is hot for teacher. Oh wait, they already did that one.

A Plot: Paige's New Job

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Paige has a new job. She has to go to her job to earn money while Alex sleeps in and does nothing. Marco complains that Alex is just laying around the house, even though as far as I can tell, that's all Marco does too. Neither of them do much more than sit around the house and wait to have gay sex.

To her credit, Alex has gotten straight A's at Degrassi. She only needed to repeat her senior year to pull it off, too.

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Paige gets a job working as an assistant for someone in the fashion industry. The boss selects Paige for the job because she does not have a fashion degree, or even a college degree. The boss wants someone she can pay less and force into unpaid overtime.

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Meanwhile, the housemates are looking for a new roommate. I think the person they let move in will be a new character. No, come on producers, you're adding too many people to the cast. I guess they want to plan for a lot of actors leaving the show, but putting these new people front and center in a year or two seems like the situation at SNL after all the funny people leave to make movies and they have to hire Chris Kattan.

Paige has to help get ready for the Canadian National Fashion Show (March 5-7 at the Simcoe County Fairgrounds! Which designer will take home the blue ribbon? You'll have to attend to find out!). Part of her duties include holding onto the dresses for the models. For some reason, the company employing her doesn't have a better place to store their dresses than at the house of the 18 year old girl they just hired. Marco wants Paige to try on the dresses, but Paige is not allowed to because those are dresses made for fashion models which makes Paige about sixty pounds overweight.

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Paige needs Alex to drive her around because Paige forgot to renew her license and there are no subways or bus lines in Toronto. But Alex would rather sit around and smoke pot with Jay. Who wouldn't? Jay is the man, whether you want to drink rum and coke next to a dumpster or chug cough syrup behind your high school. He is always ready for a good time.

While stoned, Alex decides to try on one of the dresses. This really makes Paige angry because those dresses weren't supposed to be opened or worn and now the models are going to be walking around in dresses that smell like pot.

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Paige spends the morning trying to wash out the marijuana smell from the dress. Alex is very apologetic. To make it up, Paige has Alex deliver the chocolate that is supposed to go to the fashion show guests. Paige should know better than to put Alex in charge of all that chocolate and not expect her not to eat it all herself. A Candy Bandit is going to have one thing on her mind when presented with a large box of irresistibly delicious treats.

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Alex comes by Paige's workplace to tell her she didn't deliver the chocolate because it was worth $3000. Alex got in touch with Jay, they made a few phone calls, and that chocolate will be on the streets of Miami in two hours. A handsome profit for the Candy Bandits. They have a chop shop in Florida that will melt the chocolate down, rendering it untraceable by police.

Paige gets really mad at Alex for not delivering the chocolate and Alex gets really mad at Paige for accepting this job because the fashion industry is for rich people and is very artificial and indulgent. Come on Alex, Paige needs to earn money somehow. This is a pretty good gig considering she flunked out of college. Alex doesn't want Paige to have this job, but Alex doesn't want to get a job herself. Paige gets mad at Alex and said she was better off a stripper. She kind of was too, she earned good money back then. I don't see why Alex can't go back there; even just as a waitress she was making a lot of money.

Then Alex has to leave the fashion show because poor people aren't allowed there.

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Paige can't take it anymore. She breaks up with Alex and kicks her out. Alex goes to live with her aunt somewhere. Alex doesn't want to live on her own because she has gotten used to mooching off other people She just considers it another form of welfare.

Paige has learned that love is a battlefield.

B Plot: Manny and Race

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Let's go to Degrassi, Media Immersion class, in fact where Mr. Simpson tries to keep that one black guy out of his class.

The student body will be holding a referendum to decide whether Degrassi and Lakehurst teams and clubs should merge or stay separate. Manny is in favor of merging, but the black class president from Lakehurst who she is dating wants to keep them separate. Lakehurst class president calls Manny dumb (another instance of a minor character speaking the truth about a main character) and Manny is offended by this and they break up. But they actually break up amicably and joke that is was because Lakehurst guy is black.

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Some girls whose names I do not know--and will never care to learn no matter how long they are on the show-- overheard that and did not understand it is was a joke. They believe that Manny is racist and accuse her of that in what I will assume is yoga class (when is the last time any of these kids has learned math or science?). Manny finds herself surrounded by angry black girls, including Chante Black, the blackest of them all.

Manny goes to Lakehurst president guy and he tells everyone she is not racist. And that ends that.

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Over the TV, Ms. Hotass announces the referendum results: the Degrassi and Lakehurst teams will merge. Looks like a lot of players are going to get cut.

Mr. Simpson looks longingly at the image on TV, remembering the sweet taste he was forced to give up due to his commitment to the Super Bitch.

Rating: B-
Often times in the past few years, the single episodes tend to seem rushed, especially ones that function solely as a way for a character to exit the series. The show seems to put most of their effort into the two-parters, even the two-parters that are also bad. Such as it was with this poopfest. I would have given it a much lower grade had it not a great Candy Bandits moment. It's been too long. Too bad with Alex leaving we will not have more. Jay needs to train a new generation of Bandits to carry on the legacy. Too bad none of the new characters look up to the task. The future of the Candy Bandits appears grim.

They needed to expand the Manny B plot. It was resolved way too quickly. They needed to include more scenes where the accusations that Manny is a racist. For instance, Manny could insist she is not racist, but then she gets into a mix up where she steps into an elevator by herself and presses the button to close the doors. Then a black person runs to get into the elevator before it closes. Manny tries to hold the door open for him, but it closes too fast. It looks to everyone like Manny did not want the black person riding the elevator with her. Other such wacky hijinx could occur, I'm sure.

Does It Go There? No
Get real, fool.

Who Should Get Kicked In The Face This Week? Alex
Get a haircut and get a real job. Clean your act up and don't be a slob. Get it together like your big brother Bob. Why don't you, get a haircut and get a real job? - George Thurgood and the Destroyers "Get A Haircut". Once again, George Thurgood speaks the truth.

What Do The Lesbians Think?
Over at, a couple of lesbians discussed this episode in their video blog (about 14 minutes in). The lesbians also did not like this episode because it was poorly written and there was no character consistency. This show has been going on for 7 years and the lesbians just noticed these problems now? Come on lesbians, you ladies are usually more on top of things here.

Coming Up Next:
An Ashley episode. Lame.
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