"It's Tricky"Season 7 Episode 4
American airdate: October 19th, 2007
Boycott the Caf name: none
Important characters: Ashley, Jimmy, Mia, Holly (who?), that one kid who moved in with Marco and them last week, some other guy
Issue of the Week: Ashley is boring, Musical dreams
The episode opens in the best way possible: with Spinner. Craig released an album and Spinner is listening to it. I'm sure Spinner is listening to Craig's album in the same way I that watch Degrassi episodes. But everyone is impressed that Craig released a CD, even though I don't think Craig got a record deal. It looks like a he burnt some CDs on his computer and mailed them to his friends.
Let's look at the tracklist for his CD.
- My Window
- Bruised Not Broken
- She is the Ash
- Not Your Problem
- Red-Headed for Trouble
- A Dedicated Father
- Thong Girl, Wrong Girl
- Boiler Room
- Kissing in the Stairwell
- One Year Gone
- Lament for Little Sister
It's nice to see that whoever it was in the staff who came up with those song titles probably takes this show about as seriously as I do.
Ashley is mad because "My Window" was written by HER but Craig stole it without giving her any credit; Craig wouldn't because he has always been a self centered asshole. Ashley doesn't consider suing Craig over this, which backs up my belief that Craig is not a famous musician. If he was, Ashley would want to get her share of the money she is owed for writing that song, but since Craig is just burning these CDs on his own computer and giving them away out of the trunk of his roommate's car (Craig can't afford his own car on the salary he's paid as a gas station attendant), Ashley won't bother. The most she will do is make Craig take the song off his Myspace page.
The Degrassi talent show is coming up and Ashley is going to enter it for the first time ever since the Season 1 when that brew-haha with Paige and Terri took place. Ashley is angry about the Craig CD thing and wants to prove her own worth by performing at the school talent show. While rehearsing, some younger girls come up to her and ask if she really used to perform with Craig. They asked that as a joke because they all laughed after she said yes. Being the former girlfriend of the drug addict who works at a gas station is something people are going to laugh at you behind your back, especially when he did dump you for a hooker and you went back to him. Also she's repeating the 12th grade, so I'm sure everyone makes fun of her for that too.
Meanwhile, Mia is crushing on some new kid from Lakehurst. I don't know his name and don't want to learn his name. I don't even know if the producers gave him a name yet. I do know that music plays when it walks by, so he must be wearing the same brand of underpants that Manny buys (Hanes probably). Mia wants this boy but she has to make sure Manny doesn't try to tempt him first with her insatiable libido, exposed butt crack and new hair that really does make her look like a whore. Manny says the boy is all Mia's because Manny doesn't go for 10th graders now that she is 18. The courts said if she did it one more time she would have to register as a sex offender.
But Mia has competition from that new girl Holly. Holly also wants that new boy and has the advantage of not being a teenage mother. Holly and Mia get catty over a high school debate about foreign adoption. Holly favors foreign adoption because she wants children in poor counties to have opportunities in Canada. Mia opposes it because she wants to preserve Canada's white identity.
Mia ends up dating new guy for all of six hours before the new guy is turned off at Mia wanting him to be the new father of her baby. Mia then kicks Holly out of the locker they share, which I don't think she is allowed to do. I guess Holly doesn't know the locker combination.
The talent show get underway at lunch. Webster and that white kid who looks like Webster juggle, but they mess up because they never practiced. They tried to practice, but every time they got together they would just get around to boning each other in the ass instead. Actually, that's what they do everytime they are alone together.
Next up is Ashley. She plays the lame Alanis Morissette type songs she always plays. But then she gets booed because no one likes that type of music. They yell at Ashley to play a Craig song, which is mocking her pretty badly. Jimmy saves the day by coming out and rapping to Ashley's song. Everyone likes Jimmy way better.
Ashley is angry at Jimmy for coming on stage and screwing up her song. Ashley conveniently forgot the part where everyone was booing her until Jimmy came out. Ashley needs to realize that people only like dreary female pop-goth songs if they are accompanied by rap. Look at Evanescence.* They were popular for that one year.
Ashley is just jealous that Jimmy is getting all the attention. She asks Ellie if this makes her a bitch.
It took Ashley 18 years to finally realize she is a bitch.
*They had a rap in their songs, didn't they? I forget.
Jimmy performs at a club where the guy who moved in with Marco, Paige and Alex works. That guy wants Jimmy to make it big as a rap star because it said, "It will mean big things for both of us." New Roommate guy wants to marry Jimmy.
The crowd is electrified with Jimmy's rapping. As we see in the middle screencap, Jimmy has fans among all ages and ethnic backgrounds. The new roommate tells Jimmy that someone wants to sign him to a major label (or what counts for a major label in Canada). Jimmy is reluctant to do this because becoming a rap star will have too much of an impact on the timeline. When Jimmy signed up to join the Time Exploration Force back in the 24th century, he was explicitly warned about the dangers of affecting history. His superiors in the Council of Elders are already mad at him for getting in the middle of that school shooting and as punishment are holding back on allowing him to get medical treatment to allow him to walk again. Even though in the 24th century, repairing spinal damage is simple 15 minute out patient procedure.
Jimmy knows he cannot impact history, so he tries to get Ashley to be part of this musical thing too, knowing with her onboard it will be doomed to fail. But Ashley is still deluding herself into thinking anyone but her likes her songs. So she goes to the computer and deletes Jimmy's rap.
The verdict is in: Ashley Kerwin is a stone cold BE-YOTCH!
Fucking fuck fuck fucking fuck clit.
Does It Go There? Fucking No
Fucking fuck shit pie chart.
Who Should Get Kicked In The Face This Week? Ashley
I don't remember if there has ever been at time in which Ashley was not really annoying and bitchy. She needs to take extasy more often, that is the only thing that makes her fun to be around.
More like It's Shitty! Ha ha ha ha ha.
I'll have you know I decided to give this episode an F within the first five minutes. There was nothing I saw in the last fifteen that made me change my mind.
And how about Jimmy? First, his thing was basketball, and after he got shot he spent a few weeks under Ellie's misguided tutelage and thought he was going to be an artist. Now he is suddenly a rapper. Jimmy's just falling back to every stereotypically black career--except for the artist part, I guess. Next time Jimmy will become a stand up comic where he makes humorously exaggerated generalizations about the differences between white and black people.