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"Hungry Eyes"

Season 7 Episode 9
Canadian airdate: February 15th, 2008

Boycott the Caf name: "Emma Gets Naked"
Important characters: Emma, Mia, Salve Ma Jury
Issue of the Week: The Grimace

Manny: Monsters are taking over the school.

That's right, you dumb slut. It's The Grimace.

Degrassi has picked up another corporate sponsor: McDonald's is going to be promoting Grimace in the school in exchange for sponsoring the tennis team or some such thing. Emma and Liberty are outraged about this even though they were cool with Pantene giving them money for the prom. The difference is Emma and Liberty don't play tennis.

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So pregnant girl (who I looked up and is named Mia) and that new guy she has a crush on (who I can't find the name of, but later on we hear Armstrong say it and it sounds to me like it's Salve Ma Jury) are talking. Salve tells Mia he is a virgin and has never even kissed a girl which makes him intimated to be next to a girl who gave birth cause you know she has had sex; probably a lot of times too, since she'd have to beat the odds that condoms and birth control provide.

Mia has a reputation around the school as a slut. If I was a pregnant teenager I would avoid that mark by just telling people I am going to give a virgin birth because I'm carrying the reincarnation of Jesus Christ. That'll get them off my fucking back.

Mia helps Salve practice with girls by kissing him a few times. But it turns out he likes that one girl from the previous episode who has dyslexia. They like coloring books or something. I'd prefer coloring books to Mia too. Sometimes coloring books have simple word searches or mazes in them and they are a way better way to spend your time than putting up with Mia's bullshit.

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As part of the promotion campaign, McDonald's is looking for several Degrassi ladies to work as Grimace Girls, spreading the good word of Grimace throughout the school. Emma, Manny, and Liberty audition. Manny is sent away because they have a 5'7" minimum height requirement (it's nice that they didn't tell the girls that before they had them stay after and get into those dresses). Liberty is taller than 5'7" but they don't select her because they also have a good looking requirement. That leaves Emma and a few extras. They have to wear tight purple dresses, purple being the color of Grimace.

The young woman who leads the Grimace Girls looks just like Emma but comes off as even more of a bitch. She says she is a advertising major at college. I take this to mean that she's a part time stripper who is considering taking an advertising class at the community college in the fall--that or beauty school.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode one hundred twenty eight

You go, Grimace Girls!

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Part of being a Grimace Girl involves selling McDonald's food to the other students. Like Grimace, the Grimace Girls must use sex appeal to sell the food. The flirting goes A-Ok until the one kid who is a dog trapped in a human's body starts humping Emma's leg. Emma swats him in the face with a newspaper, which makes Head Grimace Girl mad. She takes Emma in the backroom and berates her for being fat. Huh?

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Now Emma has another body issue plot and has to be political and shit against MickyD's. Well, this is the first time she's taken a political stance I can get behind because she rips off her Grimace Girl dress in front of the whole school, exposing all sorts of unmentionable body parts. I wish her political shit was always this sexy, though it would have been a waste for the first three seasons when she didn't have boobs yet.

Everyone hoots and hollers. The whole school takes on the distinct odor of semen mixed with BVDs and denim. Mr. Simpson is really embarrassed by the whole thing. This is the first time he has been allowed to see a naked woman in four years and it has to be his step-daughter. Well, he'll take what he can get.

McDonald's has decided to stay at the school despite because of the Emma incident. But Head Grimace Girl leaves, she's decided to strip full time. Emma expected to get suspended for this, but Principal Hotass decided against it because she found it kind of hot.

Rating: F
They need to stop wasting B plots on people I don't know. I've watched every episode of this stupid show since the beginning and now they're suddenly throwing thirty new people at me, like I'm even supposed to give a damn about any of them. I say get rid of them all and bring back Tracker, I can't imagine the actor is up to much else. I've had it with these new people and no amount of seeing Emma's bare back is going to get me to see this episode as any good.

Does It Go There? In a Naked Way, Yes
Emma got naked.

Who Should Get Kicked In The Face This Week? Salve Ma Jury
You are stupid. Your name makes you sound like you should be in Firefly, but no way are you cool enough for that show. You're barely even cool enough for this show. And thanks jerk, you make virgins look like losers. I'm going to cry into my Mr. Spock pillow now.

What The-N didn't want you to see (banned in America!):

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