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Part 1

Season 7 Episodes 13 & 14
Canadian airdate: March 31st and April 7th, 2008

Boycott the Caf name: "Spring Break Episode"
Important characters: Manny, Jay, Darcy, Peter, Liberty, Ashley, Mullet Kid, Spinner, Jimmy (A Degrassi All Star Extravaganza!)
Issue of the Week: Spring Break!

This is the two part Spring Break episode. In Canada, each episode aired a week apart. But The-N showed them back to back and promoted it as the Degrassi Spring Break movie, even though it was only a hour long--40 minutes if you take out commercials. The-N is poopy.

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Manny is shooting the demo reel she'll need to get into acting college. Jay is working the camera, and making sure to get lots of shots of her cleavage. For real, that's what he's doing--look at the screen cap. They are filming the demo reel in the auto shop Jay works at. The other employees are sitting around watching the taping. People who need their cars fixed are getting pissed.

At school, the kids plan for their Spring Break. Emma is going with Manny to Smithdale College, where Manny will try to get accepted into the acting program. I think Emma is applying there too. Liberty will be going with them as well, apparently Liberty has a sister at Smithdale so they have a place to crash. Ashley will be going along with them for some reason. She's not looking at colleges, as far as I can tell. Ashley has only attended high school about seven weeks in the past three years so she shouldn't have enough credits to graduate until she's 23. You're probably not allowed to be in high school at that age, so Ashley is just eventually going for her GED.

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Darcy is not going to have a fun Spring Break. Her parents are sending her to one of those wilderness retreat boot camps for troubled kids, Red Pine. Darcy thought she was being taken to school for a meeting, but it was a trick. Darcy falls for that one all the time. Peter is going too, it's about damn time. His parents need to do something to punish his ass. His folks probably think that since he's video taping other people naked and and getting other people in trouble for drug possession, he's not their problem.

The camp is being run by two people who go by the name Spirit Bear and Link. Hey, Link! The Nintendo references in this episode are delightful, simply delightful!

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The retreat takes place in the school. I think the wilderness comes in later, I don't know. I thought the point of having these kinds of youth correction camps in the middle of nowhere was so they kids couldn't escape and run back home. That'd be pretty easy to do at a school. They have to sleep their first night on the gym floor. In real life you'd have the guys "accidentally" rolling over so they're snuggling up to random girls. It'd make it very uncomfortable for the girls, but I think Darcy is the only one there. She's going to get man piled.

I wonder why Degrassi would agree to host something like this? Those boot camps are very controversial because occasionally a kid will die in one of them. I think the school just wants what ever money they must be getting out of this, just like when they pimped themselves out for the Grimace. Principal Hotass' boob jobs don't come cheap.

There's a counseling meeting the next day. Mullet Kid discusses how after his friend stabbed JT, he's been on edge and acting bad. I think he was acting bad well before that. He was part of the gang that beat up Toby. That's low. That's like beating up a 12 year old girl or a grandmother with cancer.

Everyone has to pick a new name. Darcy picks Phoenix and Spirit Bear comments that Phoenix rose from the ashes. More like Phoniex is what Jean Grey turns into every time she dies. And Phoenix is fucking scary, she's always disintegrating people who tick her off in even the slightest way. This is also why Jean Grey constantly dies in every X-Men comic/movie/TV series.

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Manny, Jay, Emma, Liberty and Ashley are all set to drive to Smithdale. They are taking Manny's parent's car, which Manny was able to get use of by claiming that Jay (her fake fiance) and her needed to see his great aunt before she died. When Manny's parents asked what she is dying off, Jay says "oldness."

No, that's what he actually said. I didn't put that in there as a joke. I also don't know why Manny has to lie to her parents in order to get the car. I think they would have been fine if she told them she was going to visit a college. Anyway, Manny doesn't like the prospect of being in a long term relationship with Jay, so she kicks him out of the road trip party. Jay doesn't like this, as he was under the impression that their fake engagement was sort of real. I guess Manny led him on by hanging out with him when they weren't with her parents--also all the times the two of them made out. Liberty takes the opportunity to call shotgun. She really does, it's in the episode.

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The road trip gang arrive at Smithdale. They're going to stay at the sorority house that Liberty has connections to. Except for Ashley, she's going to stay somewhere else and she only told the others at the last minute. It would have been helpful for the others if she had mentioned this sooner. But that would require Ashley to be polite and thoughtful of others for once in her life. She also stiffed Manny on her share of the gas expense.

Turns out Liberty is really popular and well liked in this college, because it takes place in Bizarro World. Liberty introduces us to her sister and I'm not sure if she means that they are sisters because they have the same mother, or because they are in the same sorority or are sisters in blackhood.

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With Jay out of her life, Manny meets a new boy who feeds her chocolate, instantly winning her female heart. But the boy doesn't want to tell her his name because he says that always leads to him meeting her parents and then having a ring on his finger. Wow, and he's probably only 20 too. I don't know what is going on there, but if he wants to avoid always getting engaged after a week, he should probably stop hitting on girls at the Campus Baptist Club.

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Meanwhile, Jay, Spinner and Jimmy are racing to Smithdale as well, in a tow truck Jay took from work. Spinner and Jimmy have tickets to a concert at Smithdale put on by McDonalds as part of their Pure Grimace campaign. The artist who will performing is a surprise. Man, I hope it's no one lame. Jay needs to give Manny her demo DVD. When she kicked him out of her car, he gave her a DVD of them making it out in the garage as revenge. But then he has a moment of conscious for the first time in his life and needs to get her the correct DVD so she doesn't lose out on getting accepted to Smithdale. Usually when the devil and angel debate on Jay's shoulders, the devil wins because he's a badass. But he was throwing up in the john after a hard night of partying with Chris Tucker.

Jay stops along the way to help a girl who is having car trouble. He briefly considers getting it on with this girl, but then his love of Manny returns. The girl invites the boys to a beach party, but Jay turned her down saying he wouldn't look good in a bikini. No, he really said that. Half the jokes in this review are going to be lines straight from the episode.

A Mountie stops and arrests Jay for stealing the tow truck. Oh dear! How will Jay give Manny the DVD now?

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Back at Bad Kids camp, Darcy and Peter have sex. At least I think they do. That's what Darcy says they are going to do, but they never see the act. Total bummer. However, Link was there watching them the whole time so they get in trouble.

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While the girls are at the sorority house they discover that Jay has switched the DVDs. Liberty asks "What work of Shakespeare is this: The Humping of the Shrew?" Ha ha, good one Liberty. She doesn't even stop there. Other suggested titles are "A Midsummer Night's Wet Dream" and "Merchant of Penis." Man, in the Bizarro World, Liberty is actually kind of cool.

WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING HERE? HAS THE WHOLE WORLD GONE MAD?

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Manny really needs the right DVD. But she isn't going to get it anytime soon because Jay, Spinner and Jimmy are sitting in a jail cell (well it was a given Jimmy would be sitting).

Let's go to part 2-->
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