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"Talking In Your Sleep"

Season 7 Episode 17
Canadian airdate: April 28th, 2008

Boycott the Caf name: "Marco Doesn't Get AIDS"
Important characters: Paige, Griffin, Spinner, Jane, Darcy
Issue of the Week: AIDS

Hola ninos and ninas! This is Johnny with another Degrassi review. Billie asked me to help her out again so that she can hurry up and finish off the season and get started on summer vacation. You see for college graduates like us we don't get to start summer when school ends. Instead of school we have jobs which never end. So we have to find other ways to celebrate summer. For Billie, summer vacation starts when she doesn't have to watch anymore melodramatic Canadian TV shows aimed to children. Mine begins as gin that's fementing in my bathtub is ready to be drunk. Until then I am more then happy to watch Canadian television. Today's episode is about AIDS. Surprisingly enough Marco doesn't get AIDS meaning that the rumors we have been spreading the past three years about Marco getting AIDS are still unfulfilled. Someday perhaps…someday.

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The episode starts out with Paige being all happy and singing to herself. This is because her job is kickass and she got a raise. Being that she is a woman she wants to use her raise money to redecorate. This is in contrast to a man who would spend his raise money on beer and sports memorabilia or in contrast to me who would use his raise money to purchase DVD box sets of cartoons.

Paige informs Marco and Ellie that they will be helping her paint. They say that's stupid because painting sucks, they don't want to redecorate, and they are renting the house and aren't even allowed to paint. Some black dude who lives with them, I guess, tells Marco and Ellie that they will help Paige paint or else. This is because he is totally crushing on Paige. He also opens a bottle of pills. I would say it is foreshadowing to what happens later in the episode, except I don't think anybody at Degrassi is a good enough writer to use any literary technique on purpose.

Black Dude asks if Paige is still on for bed later. Marco and Ellie both assume that guy made an appointment to have sex with Paige. They know Paige pretty well, but as it turns out Paige is just making that dude carry home a new bed she bought. How much money did she get from this raise?

Degrassi The Next Generation episode one hundred thirty six

After the credits, we come back to Paige and other guy carrying in the bed. You might all think I'm pretending to not know who this person is as a joke, but I am serious. I have no idea what his name is or when he joined the cast.

Paige asks him about his family. He says he lived with his dad, and skirts the issue of his mother when asked about her. The guy asks what Paige's family is like and what it was like for her parents to have two gays for children. Paige points out that she isn't gay. She only liked Alex and girls are allowed to make out or even have sex with another girl and it isn't gay, as long as they are drunk or people are watching and hooting while it happens.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode one hundred thirty six

Meanwhile, the cool kids (not pictured SPINNER!!!!!) are hanging out at the new pool hall everybody in Canada seems to be enjoying these days. Peter and Darcy are there as well. Don't make a mistake and assume they are also one of the cool kids. The cool kids are Spinner and whoever he chooses to hang out with. Peter is just there to stand near Spinner and laugh at the things Spinner says, such as when Spinner explains what a butterface is, which is actually different from what I thought the term meant. Thank you for the vocabulary lesson, Professor Spinner.

Jane sinks a shot and Darcy says that with aim like that Jane could become a big shot on Degrassi's new archery team. Degrassi has more extracurricular activities than any other school in the world. My old high school barely has enough money to have girl's basketball. This would be a good time to point out that pool has nothing to do with archery and Darcy is full of shit.

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Over in college world, Paige and her roommates are painting her room. It's the thing they do on TV where they show painting to be fun rather than the horrifying hell that it is. In a couple of hours they manage to paint an entire room while goofing off most of the time and getting paint on each other. They also don't use any primer and only paint one coat, so it's just going to look pretty bad once it dries.

New guy asks Paige how she likes it. Paige is a woman and can never be satisfied with how a room looks, so she says it is too minty. New guy says that when she has guests over they won't be looking at the walls. Marco in the background looks disgusted at new guy's blatant attempts to sex up Paige and tells him to go clean paint brushes.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode one hundred thirty six

At archery class Darcy kicks ass because Degrassi cast members are awesome at whatever they feel like doing. Look at Jimmy, one day decided he could draw and all of a sudden he was an awesome artist. Later on he did the same thing with rap. At some point pretty much every character has decided they were awesome at music and it became so. The only exception is when JT and Toby decided they were awesome lovers, unless you count how they loved themselves, Hey-Oh!

Degrassi The Next Generation episode one hundred thirty six

Coach Armstrong says “Yeah I'm coaching archery now. So what? What are you going to do about it?” That man gets a lot of extra money from coaching sports.

Jane and Darcy have a girl bonding moment while shooting arrows. Darcy complains about Peter's rank breath. Jane says Spinner would be perfect if it wasn't for the pit stains. This is of course a ruse to keep Darcy away from Spinner. Spinner is perfect.

The secret telling leads Jane to reveal that Lucas is her brother and they have different last names because Jane changed her name, because teenagers are allowed to do this. This is the most obvious pulled out a writer's ass at the last minute unplanned twist in the history of Degrassi. Also nobody cares because who are these people?

Degrassi The Next Generation episode one hundred thirty six

Later in drama class or something, Jane and Peter are doing a skit. Peter has to whisper in Jane's ear but she makes a remark about him having “Jungle Breath” and everybody in the class hoots in response. The extras for this scene were all pulled from the audience of the Steve Wilkos show.

Somehow this is because Darcy said Peter has bad breath and not because Jane and other people can smell his bad breath themselves. Darcy is angry that she opened up to Jane and Jane used the information to make people laugh at Peter. Jane doesn't understand why Darcy is upset because she has never had a friend before and doesn't seem to understand human emotions. Jane is an alien.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode one hundred thirty six

New dude asks Marco if he can have permission to date Paige because Marco is Paige's gay friend. It's like asking a girl's father permission to date her during the 30s. To get the relationship rolling on the right track, new guy finishes redecorating Paige's room. Sure he already helped paint, and agreed to put together the bed, so he didn't do much that he wasn't going to do anyways, but he might as well get relationship points for it. He is so proud of his work that he poses like pro wrestler The Hurricane.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode one hundred thirty six

Paige immediately sleeps with new guy because she is Paige and Paige is easier to get into then Fort Knox. You know, because Fort Knox has a lot of security features and Paige is sort of a slut, not that a non-sluttish girl would be harder to get into Fort Knox, since as I mentioned Fort Knox is very secure. New guy tries to sneak off but Paige wakes up. That's really for the better. He lives in the house so she would just find him in the kitchen anyways. New guy leaves for class but Paige sees that he left his wallet on her nightstand. She digs in it looking for money. Finding none she puts it on his desk. Then she snoops around in his desk and finds a shit load of pills. What's going on? Is this person whose name I do not know and I do not care about sick? This is the kind of drama that sucks because I don't care about this guy or know his name.

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It's time for America's favorite game: What Where They Talking About Before the Scene Began?

On this week's game we must guess what Spinner and Jimmy were talking about based only on this snippet of conversation:

Spinner: That was good.

Jimmy: For sure.

Spinner : That was fun.

Were they discussing?

A: The episode of Full House where DJ started dating Viper from Uncle Jesse's band

B: Spinner's latest sexcapade

C: The time Spinner boycotted the caf

D: A Spring Break road trip they took it to the Mall of America

Send in your answers and the winner will receive a years supply of potted meat. When you want meat from a can that costs a nickel, choose Potted Meat™ brand potted meat. Now available in snout.

As always Spinner is the winner, as he actually says that he was talking about Jane revealing that Peter smells like he eats road kill. I guess I shouldn't have written that gag without listening to the whole scene. Why was Spinner in that class anyway, he's like five years older then everybody else in there?

Jimmy asks Jane if she apologized to Darcy. Jane says she did if by apologize Jimmy meant told to fuck off. Jimmy says that he thinks Jane will have to “do some serious digging to get out of this one.” I think Jimmy thinks Jane is dating Darcy.

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Paige decides to get Marco to help her invade new guy's privacy. She realizes he is taking the HIV cocktail and is upset because they had unprotected anal sex. Damn, Paige can never have sex with somebody and have it be happy, can she? Somebody has to get fired, become a stripper, or have AIDS. The last time she had sex without problems afterwards was when she had sex with Spinner. Then the only problem was not being able to sit down for a week.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode one hundred thirty six

Time for an emergency roommate meeting. Ellie is upset that they all drank the same orange juice. She knows it is impossible to get HIV this way but still thinks it is icky. Paige also is concerned because she had sex with the guy and might have AIDS.

Griffin ( I found out his name is Griffin) comes in looking for his wallet and Paige asks him when he was going to reveal he had AIDS. Griffin takes the rout we all would but Paige quickly catches him. Griffin goes on the attack by yelling at Paige for going through his stuff. Unfortunately he may have given Paige AIDS, and that is sort of worse. Paige makes a comment about Griffin's lifestyle and he gets pissed that she assumed he got AIDS from his lifestyle and tells her to go to hell before leaving. That's how you run away. You need to catch the pursuer off balanced with obscenities and then leave dramatically, not go out in an unorganized mess.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode one hundred thirty six

At archery practice Jane apologizes and says she bought Peter mints. Darcy is still pissed and threatens to murder Jane. Darcy seems upset more at the mint thing then the actual reason she is suppose to be upset, saying she didn't want a solution just somebody to listen to her complain. Darcy threatens to tell everybody that Jane is siblings with Lucas as an example of why friends shouldn't try to help each other even though that makes no sense and would not help Jane. Darcy is a bitch.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode one hundred thirty six

Paige is at the STD clinic to find out if she has AIDS. Unfortunately HIV antibodies won't show up for 6 months. Oh snap!

Paige is understandably pissed at Griffin. On the other hand Yahoo Answers tells her to talk to him. Paige splits the difference and stands next to him in the kitchen. Griffin initiates the conversation and reveals he was born with AIDS because him mom liked to do heroin while whoring herself out to bikers. Griffin says he would have told Paige he was HIV positive except it would have been really awkward. You know how awkward it is when your mom walks in on you wanking it to something on MTV? Griffin doesn't because his mom is dead, but the conversation would have been even more awkward.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode one hundred thirty six

Brotha just stole a skeleton!

Degrassi The Next Generation episode one hundred thirty six

Nearby Peter and Darcy engage in make out city. Jane comes by and Darcy makes sure that Jane knows that on record what Jane did was not cool. It's on the record so that is like official. On the other hand Darcy is glad that Peter no longer smells like he licks urinal cakes. Jane asks if she can be a friendship trainee because she has never had friends before and has a lot to learn. Darcy agrees on the ground that she can shoot Jane with an arrow if Jane reveals any more big secrets. Jane wants to cement the friendship with a handshake but friends don't shake hands friends hug!

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And then there is another scene which reiterates what happened in the last scene with these two. I think the show was short two minutes and it was thrown in for no reason.

Rating: C-
The Paige storyline isn't too dramatic to me. I don't know who this Griffin character is but he is sort of a jerk for not telling Paige about his AIDS. Paige being upset is understandable although she probably should have dated Griffin for more than a minute before sexing him up. Griffin would have had a better chance of telling her about his AIDS then. Never the less I found myself wishing for this episode to hurry up and end so that I could get back to drawing penises in children's books I got from the library.

The Jane and Darcy storyline was really stupid and requires us to assume that Jane has no idea what friendship is or how it works. She must have been raised by wolves or something. The best part that it featured Spinner. The worse part was that it did not have enough Spinner

Does It Go There? No way
Now if Marco had AIDS then it totally would go there.

Who Should Get Kicked In The Face This Week? Darcy
Come on, Jane was trying to be nice when she bought mints and everybody knew about Peter's butt breath anyways. She said what we all were thinking.

Final Thoughts:
You would think Paige getting AIDS would be a big deal. However I was mostly bored and didn't care. Degrassi was best when the problems were fairly miniscule and everything was silly. Paige being raped was a three part Degrassi special. Now she may have AIDS and it is just another episode. This is a sign that Degrassi is getting too melodramatic. I'm reminded of an episode of Rescue Me were a kid overdosed on her father's pain medication and this wasn't even a dramatic enough event to get more then 15 minutes of air time because Rescue Me is fucking insane when it comes to drama. Somebody has to die for an event to even get mentioned more then two episodes later. I see Degrassi going in this direction. The main problem is that Degrassi isn't well written enough or funny enough in the non-intense portions to pull off this much drama. The result will be horrible super drama that isn't engaging, continuing until Degrassi is cancelled or we all decide to stop watching stupid TV shows and go outside.
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