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"We Built This City"

Season 7 Episode 24
Canadian airdate: June 23rd, 2008

Boycott the Caf name: "The Saga Concludes...More or Less"
Important characters: Liberty, Damien, Peter
Issue of the Week: Graduation

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We begin at Degrassi. Toby approaches Liberty and says, "Hey, I thought you'd be at the Dot studying history." No she wouldn't, because school is in session. Ok, I guess most kids have no problem with skipping school all the time, but Liberty is the only person who is too lame to do that. Toby skoots out of the way and Damien talks to Liberty next. Since Liberty is Emma's friend and Emma is Damien's girlfriend, he feels he should make a token effort to make small talk with Liberty. A man will do anything if it means he can get into his girl's yaya.

Liberty gets a phone call and is informed she has won a radio contest and now singing sensation Natasha Freaking Bedingfield will play at the prom. Liberty hugs Damien, making him very uncomfortable.

Liberty announces to one classroom that she has gotten Natasha Bedingfield for the prom. Emma is excited and says that "Unwritten" is her favorite song. Emma is one of these people whose favorite song is whatever song is popular on top 40 radio that month.

Selected List of Emma's All Time Favorite Songs by Year

Everyone is happy about Natasha Bedingfield performing, Toby says, "I think we're all going to get lucky tonight" which is misinterpreted by all. Oh, Toby, if you're around next season, I hope they make you more of an awkward Jew. I also hope whatever DJ or band they already had lined up for the prom will give Degrassi their deposit back. Natasha Bedingfield is coming on very short notice.

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The prom is underway. Everyone is dressed in their finest, which for the men include rented tuxes and for the woman include expensive and weird looking dresses that they will only wear once but keep in their closets for years. Then they can look back at them when they are thirty and realize how fat they've gotten. Spinner also wears a scarf and Jane is in a black dress, having just gotten back from the opera. Liberty and Toby go together, but with the height difference, it looks like Liberty is his babysitter. That's like that one episode of Welcome Freshmen where the nerdy kid who was a freshman was forced to have a babysitter by his parents and the babysitter turned out to be a girl in his class he had a crush on. Or I think that was a Welcome Freshmen; it could have just as easily have been an adult baby porn story I read online.* Unfortunately, the amount of Welcome Freshmen information online is lacking. The internet is so useless. Hey, remember how the first season of that show was a sketch comedy and the last season was a traditional sitcom? I wish Degrassi would turn into a sketch comedy next season. It's not as if the show has any steam left in its current form anyway.

* It was research for a possible Dumb Baby article, I swear!

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Liberty, Manny and Emma proclaim that even after they graduate they will remain best girlfriends forever. They include Toby in this, as the final act bestowing that Toby is not a man.

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Natasha Bedingfield plays that one song that was used in that Pantene commercial. What is with the grip Pantene has on Degrassi? Jimmy brings Gimp Girl as his date so he'll have someone to not dance with. I should mention that Manny does not appear to have a date for the prom. I find it hard to believe that Manny could not have secured a date, being as easy as she is. Most likely, either the writers forgot to give her one or the show didn't have the budget to hire one. I'll just belie that Manny didn't want a date because she didn't want to have to restrict herself to only giving one guy head at the after party.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode one hundred forty three

It's prom night, so Peter is going to be home. His mom the principal tells him that they will be leaving for China to look after his sick grandmother. Peter thinks this is totally bogus.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode one hundred forty three

Liberty and Damien make out in the janitor's closet, the preferred makeout spot at Degrassi. At least for the lame kids. All the cool kids get it on at the ravine. I guess Damien likes Liberty, although he's already expressed his dislike for her several times over the past two seasons. I don't know. The characters on this show are bigger nuts than the ones in John Stamos' boxers.

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Spinner secured the keys to the pool by besting the janitor in a game of Mario Kart 64 (Spinner always wins because he chooses Donkey Kong. Spinner also always wins because he is Spinner). He, Jimmy, Gimp Girl, Jane as well as Emma, Manny and Toby go swimming. Man, that's a really nice pool, it has several paintings and nice white tiles. It looks a lot better than my high school pool, which was decorated with a sign telling you not to run and a loading dock. . It looks like the pool in Odysseus' house. I think Odysseus had a pool. I don't know, I just made that reference to sound smart.

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Liberty and Damien arrive after making out. Damien jumps in the pool with his tux on. He is going to lose his deposit. The gang also yells for Liberty to jump into the pool too. The only reason they are being so nice to her is because they are all drunk off after prom booze.

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Peter meets up with his dad and his dad's new beau. Peter wants to stay with his dad instead of moving to Regina*. Peter's dad does not want him there, he hates Peter.

*Regina is a city in western Canada. I first thought they were going to China, but a check of Wikipedia proved me wrong. But it's not like I've ever heard of it before. Regina is the capital of Saskatchewan, both of which sound like made up places.

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Damien, for some reason, tells Toby that he made out with Liberty. Toby is mad about this because he thought Liberty and he were going out even though they never did. He spills the beans about the cheating to the whole pool party. Emma is mad about this and says, "Oh my God, am I the only one that didn't know about this?" Well, Spinner and Jimmy didn't. They were just hanging in the back there. They don't care what goes on with those younger kids. They even assumed Damien and Liberty were dating because they were both black. Jimmy and Spinner felt a little embarrassed about assuming that, but come on, Jimmy and his date are both crippled, so you know...

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Darcy is very distraught that Peter will be leaving and begs of him to find a way to stay. I think Darcy doesn't want to break up with Peter because she is scared of what he will do to her next time they separate. Peter is like Emperor Palaptine, he rules through fear.

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Graduation is underway. Liberty gives her valedictorian speech and cries. Princaboo H takes the podium. For some reason the slide show behind her has a picture of Craig, even though he is not part of that class. He would have graduated last year if he wasn't a high school dropout loser. I bet someone put that slide in as a joke and wrote "ass" right above his head. Everyone got a kick out of that. Craig sucks.

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Peter meets Liberty's dad, the lawyer. Peter wants to be legally emancipated from his parents so he won't have to go to Regina, and Liberty's dad has agreed to discuss this at his office. Seriously.

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The episode ends with JT's friends, plus Emma and Manny, gathered beside the JT Yorke Memorial ATM. They pause to reflect on their dead friend, and how he died in a puddle of pee-pee, while forming a line from tallest to shortest.

Rating: K-
This one blows. I did a survey around the Boycott the Caf offices and 100% of those surveyed do not care about Liberty or any of the new characters who are not dating Spinner. The poll has a margin of error of 0% because I am that good. As far as Peter trying to get legally emancipated, I hope the show sticks with this next season (which would be a rare instance of remembering continuity and the first for Peter. Remember the weekend he was at boarding school?) because it is such a stupid idea. Peter is the most wasted character on the show. They show him all the fucking time, but they have no idea what he hell they are doing with him. Hey, it's a new episode, is Peter going to be a bad or good this episode? Whenever he is good, don't forget that everyone else is going to have to forget what an asshole he's been to them.

Why is Peter even on the show? I know I speak for everyone when I say I want less Peter and more Toby. That little dude has really gotten left out since season 4. Remember during the Spring Break episode he said he in class was going to Florida and that was all we saw of him? And that episode was lame because of it. We should have followed Toby to Florida. Who knows what awesome adventures the Tobster could have had? Perhaps he was involved in a mixup of identities that led him to be recruited by a sexy young vixen to help her find buried pirate gold. Along the way he meets a wacky cast of characters and has to evade an armed gang of professional thieves who are also after the gold--at any cost.* Of course, it's more likely he spent the whole time in his hotel room playing Risk by himself.

*Even if the cost of finding the gold is more than the value of the gold itself.

Does It Go There? No
Oh wow, the kids graduated. It only took them an extra season too. Big whoop.

Final Thoughts:
Mary Mack was eliminated from Last Comic Standing before they went to the part of the reality show where everyone has to live in the same house and get on each other's nerves. The judges, Richard Belzer and that guy from The Sopranos, did not think she was funny. What the fuck do either of them know about comedy? I had to look up Belzer on Wikipedia before I even learned he was once a comic. Richard Belzer blows. Oh well, I saw part of another episode a couple of weeks later which had a woman perform a bit about playing Oregon Trail. Yippie skippy. Every other bit she has are jokes about dealing with drunk people at parties. But in her defense, she's 25 so doesn't do much else. I'd imagine I'd make a lot of jokes like that if I ever was invited to parties.

As for my opinion on this season of Degrassi, it mostly sucked. It started out pretty good with the first episode and anytime the show centers on Spinner's genitals, it will be gold, pure gold baby. But there are too many new character on the show and I do not like any of them. Well, like I said before, Jane is alright because she is dating Spinner. Much like a healthy diet of fruits and vegetables, anyone who regularly swallows Spinner's semen is going to be in good shape. Though I still don't get why Jane changed her name because she hates her brother. Also, she changed her first name which doesn't do anything to disassociate herself from her family.

Other than Jane, all the newbies suck. I am not interested in their foibles and their antics fail to amuse me. Damn you new kids, the show is going to be all mucky-mucky next season.
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