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"Money for Nothing"

Season 8 Episode 7
Canadian airdate: October 20th, 2005

Boycott the Caf name: "The Fall of Holly J"
Important characters: Holly J, Peter, Mia
Issue of the Week: The recession

The cheerleading team is in for a hoot. Holly J has gotten them into a cheerleading competition in Florida sponsored by Starburst candy. They just need to pony up $350 each to go. And Holly J needs them to give her the money tomorrow. That's short notice for so much cash. Considering it took the squad five years of fundraising to get new uniforms, it looks like a sexy carwash isn't going to get them the funds in time.

That boy who Holly J took her outer shirt off for offers to take her to a Pink Floyd concert as a first date. He tells her tickets are $125 each. I guess he is not going to pay for her ticket, even though it is a date and he asked out. Holly J most likely doesn't even know who Pink Floyd is.

This is Holly J's house. It's supposed to look impressive, but it's barely a tenth of the size of Jimmy's mansion. Holly J's family has fallen on hard times. Her dad has lost a great deal of money in the market which means Holly J can't count on her mom and dad to give her the money for Starburst cheerleading or Pink Floyd.

Mia's modeling posters are all over the school. Maybe this was an ad campaign that is limited just to Degrassi Community School. Her posters are a shrine to lonely boys of the school, who go there to make out with it while covering the man in the image, much like I how view pornography.

Holly's mom drops her off to school the next day and gives her a sack lunch in what looks like a shopping bag from a clothing store. Maybe in Canada, Kohl's serves hotdog's. Holly J's mom is also going to have to get a job, even though she has no skills. I think she could make an awesome looking Iggy Pop impersonator. The Stooges are the only good punk band ever, so a tribute band would make good money.

That guy who Holly J is going to date comes by with the Pink Floyd tickets. He waited six hours in the rain for them because he is a tool. That's too much effort and expense for Pink Floyd even if this was 1975. Holly J can't afford her ticket, so she backs out of the date by claiming she has an emergency cheerleading practice that day. I think the boy should just realize a 17 year old girl isn't going to like Pink Floyd and instead plan a date that would be more enjoyable and less expensive for her. That boy is one of these people who is obviously way too into a band to understand why others aren't as rabidly enthusiastic as he is. I understand the attitude, as I used to be that way about Nelson.

Holly J is too embarrassed about her sack lunch to eat with her friends, so she eats in the bathroom. Man, she really is the new Paige.

Meanwhile Peter is having Mia over for some make out time, but then Ms. Hotass pops in. She is back from Regina for a few days to visit him. I guess Peter is living on his own. Remember that brief scene at the end of season 7 where Peter wanted to get legally emancipated from his parents? No? That's fine, neither did the producers, it seems. Really, any time something from a previous episode is referred to later on, it is the exception.

At any case, Peter is living on his own in what appears to be an abandoned foundry he is squatting in. Or maybe Peter is staying in the basement of the school, using keys he took back when his mom was the principal. Craig did pretty good for a few days down there. And without having a mental disease, Peter is a lot more resourceful. He has a kitchenette, a couch he swiped from the teacher's lounge, and several posters of lame hard rock bands to make the place his own. It's all free for him too, his housing and utilities are covered by the taxpayer. Just like my neighbor who found out it was easier to scam the government for disability than to get a job.

Holly J is going to need money for the cheerleading trip. Luckily, the Dot is hiring. Spinner is conducting the interview since I guess he owns the Dot now. This marks the second successful business Spinner has ran before he turned 18. Now that I think about it, he's probably past 18 already. But he at least ran two businesses before he was old enough to drink alcohol in the United States. Spinner hires Holly, even though he doesn't like her and she was rude during the interview. Spinner knows this job sucks, that's probably why he gave it to her.

Studz is practicing in Peter's pad. Their song is about having sex with a girl, which makes it awkward to play when Peter's mom is right there. It is also awkward for them to play because none of them have ever had sex (in Webster's case with a girl). Peter is the only one of them who has ever gotten as far as kissing a female. Spinner is no longer in the band. After the fiasco of Woodstock Canada II, Spinner does not want to be associated with these wieners. He has a restaurant to run and being associated with Studz is only bad for business. The music press was very forgiving to Spinner after the show, at least. Canada Music Review wrote of the show, "Just like Downtown Sasquatch, the only thing Studz has going for it is it's super hot drummer." Spin Canada wrote, "That drummer should stop hanging around with such queers."

Studz is not going to bring on White Webster to fill the gap, even though he is the only other friend any of them have. I think White Webster has fallen so much after the football incident that he is not even cool enough for Salve.

I wonder if Hotass is going to return to the show permanently? I wouldn't be against it. She may not be a good character, but she looks really good for a 58 year old.

Holly J's waitressing job is not going well. She is behind on orders. The problem is she has to make all the food as well as wait on all the tables. That works in a very slow restaurant, but since Spinner took over ownership, business is through the roof. I think Holly J is the sole employee. The other cheerleaders come by the Dot surprised to see Holly J working there. They show her the bikinis they bought, which come in the same bags as Holly J's lunch. Holly J really did get her lunch at Kohl's. Since the girls are leaving Canada, they can finally buy swimsuits for the first time in their lives.

White Webster and Moose are at the Dot, being assholes as always and crying like babies because they are not getting their food fast enough. Holly J gets frustrated and pours a milkshake on White Webster's head. After White Webster beat up Jane, you'd think he'd be too smart to be inside the Dot.* Jane probably hasn't told Spinner about that yet. Of course, Spinner knows all and sees all, but killing White Webster before Jane talks to him about it would betray the trust they have. And Spinner Mason respects his woman. Or maybe getting Holly J to pour the milkshake on White Webster's head was his big plan for revenge. Now that he has to manage a restaurant, Spinner has had his mind busy with other things.

Over at Peter's room, his mom asks him to move to Regina with her. Peter wants to stay on his own, saying his grades are better and he has more friends. Peter has two friends now, which is more than he ever had before. It's understandable that even as a teenager, Peter would be doing better on his own than with his parents, since Ms. Hotass has always been a very bad mother.

* I mean that figuratively. White Webster is very dumb.

Holly J is feeling jealous about Mia's modeling career. The Asian girl who was briefly a model with Mia tells Holly J how Mia slept with a man to get the job. Holly J then tells this to a TV show that is at the school. doing a story on Mia. The weird TV news guy, who is way too interested in teenage girls who have sex, reports this on the evening news. Literally tens of people see the report, including Ms. Hotass who watches it with Peter and Mia.

The next day, Mia gets harassed by Moose and some other guy because they saw the TV and want to have sex with her. Mia is now getting bugged by guys since the TV called her a slut, but I think people would already know she is easy since she does have a daughter.

Holly J has the money for the cheerleading trip after her big sister Heather sent her a check. But the rest of the squad wants nothing to do with her after she trashed Mia on TV. Come on girls, she trashed Mia on Canadian TV, it's not like anyone not on the cheerleading team even saw that piece. And when the team kicked Holly J out, they should have said it in a cheer routine. Something like "F-U-C-K, F-U-C-K, F-U-C-K Hol-ly J!"

Holly J is furthered burned when that guy she was going to date does not want to date her because she did not want to go see Pink Floyd. That boy needs to get a life, I think. He should also remember that the two members who had the most impact on Pink Floyd aren't even with the band anymore. That's like those people who go to see the Beach Boys without Brian Wilson. My dad was a fan of Pink Floyd back in their heyday with Roger Waters. He has several of their albums on vinyl and he wouldn't have spent six hours in the rain and $125 to see them, even before he fled to Mexico to escape the IRS.

Holly J returns to the Dot with her tail between her legs and humbly asks for her job back. Holly J confesses to Spinner about her family not having any money. This is the first time she has told someone about this, because you cannot lie to Spinner. Spinner tells her about the time he stole his rich friend's mp3 player. He also crippled that same friend. All in all, Spinner has been a very poor friend to Jimmy. Spinner also says Holly should be grateful she has both parents, since his father is dead. Hey, remember that episode where Spinner's dad died?

Spinner knows Holly is a crappy waitress, but he is always ready to come to the aid of a damsel in distress and rehires her.

Rating: D-
This was not a total failure of F magnitude. The Holly J part was okay, except we were all hoping she would become a prostitute. We were already let down by a broke Marco last year. Holly J would make a poor prostitute because she would most likely be very insulting the whole time. Well, some guys will get off on that.

Peter is worthless as a character. Most characters are, really, but Peter is particular has bugged me as the writers having no idea what to do with him, even more than they don't know what to do with anyone else. I've written about the writers ignoring the personality they created in the beginning with his douche as well as dropping plot points for him without explanation. I guess they are moving the Holy character forward, at least, much like the rapening of Paige. I don't know if they will follow through. There are too many characters on the show to devote any real good time toward character development, even in the low standard of character development for a kid's show. Degrassi would have been better with just five or six core characters to work with, rather than the SNL sized cast we have here. The show would also be better if it was about mercenaries riding dune buggies in the Sahara, but there is plenty of time to go there in season 9.

Does It Go There? Milkshake.
The milkshake on the head went there. I like milkshakes.

What The N didn't want you to see (banned in America!):

  • A good episode.

    More Awesome Spinner Quotes:
    "Ever have ball cancer?" he said to Holly J. Spinner has his suspicions about her.

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