The Web BtC
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"Lost in Love" Part 2

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Part 2 begins with The Shep making an announcement simultaneously in front of a video camera and over the P.A. system. He is also in a glass box because he is trying to be the Canadian high school principal version of David Blaine, only straight. He reminds us there is a dance for lovers coming up and also asks the students to not mock those taking part in the Battle Bots competition. His plea lands on deaf ears.

Jane is walking down the hall and gets a delivery of roses from Spinner, but instead of thanking Zeus like most girls would, Jane throws them in the trash can. Everybody who sees this is shocked and wants to know what happened between her and Spinner. It's assumed that Jane is angry enough to throw out a gift from Spinner then he must have been killed or possibly castrated a close family member.

Jane tells how Spinner got drunk and woke up her mom with his drunken antics. She tells Webster that she loves Spinner to which Webster poetically responds "But sometimes love isn't enough." That line could go into a Poison song. Webster has a real way of connecting with the ladies. He probably wouldn't be a virgin if he ever showered.

As a result of a drunken Spinner's mischievous ways, Jane doesn't have her speech finished yet. Remember, she has to make a speech on how being a girl is lame because you can't play football without getting kicked by White Webster. Webster says that she needs to get her mind off Spinner (impossible) and work on that speech, then he offers to help. Great, now her speech is going to be greasy and covered in smudge marks.

Spinner and Holly J's plan to break into the symposium includes wearing a suit and asking to be let into the symposium. The plan is foiled when they show up late. Holly J grabs a random a name tag sitting on a table and claims Spinner is Barry Cohen. "Barry Cohen, from Saskatchewan?" the person guarding the door asks in amazement. He can't believe he is finally meeting somebody from another province. He then asks how Barry was able to get his dog sled team across the frozen prairies without attracting the attention of polar bears.

With Spinner successfully infiltrating whatever the hell this thing is, Holly J leaves because she has to go to school, not that anybody has ever cared about skipping school in the past. She probably just wants to avoid arrest. Canada has the three strikes rule and Holly J has already been arrested for stealing Paige's personality and characteristics.

Amazing, simply amazing. Who would have thought it would be possible to pull off wearing a suit coat with jeans? Nobody but Spinner, and it doesn't really work. I can't believe Spinner couldn't find a pair of dress pants. Come on man, you're trying to win back your girl. You have to dress up nice.

Spinner sits next to Webster. Webster knows Spinner lied to Jane, threw her off her game, and drunkenly vomited on her mother, but that doesn't stop him from being delighted to see the Spin man.

Have you been wondering were Toby has been for the last five seasons? Turns out he is the host for Canadian Battle Bots. He's surrounded by some hot ladies, and those ladies' boyfriends.

Clare is having trouble concentrating on the Battle Bot because of all the sexual tension between her and KC. Alli is angry, telling Clare to not let hormones get in the way of Battle Bots. Jesus Christ Alli, are you even listening to yourself? That's something Liberty would say. Clare decides to go to the dance with KC, saying it wouldn't be completely horrible to go with him. That's the way to make KC not have terrible self esteem!

Alli finds Johnny Dimarco at the robot competition. She thinks he is there because he likes her. He says he is there to watch his brother compete. I know the truth however, Johnny DiMarco does not trust robots. He wants to make sure there isn't any kind of robot apocalypse shit going down. He tells Alli he doesn't do school dances and he doesn't do grade niners.

That roommate guy took Emma to an all night horror movie marathon for their first date. Despite the marathon lasting all night they were unable to finish their snacks. If he was dating Manny they would have gone to an all night whore movie marathon. Because she has lots of sex. HA HA HA.

They live in the same room so it's sort of strange when they get there. It's slutty to let the guy into your dorm room on the first date but on the other hand he lives there. Maybe he could go walk around for 15 minutes and then go home so they aren't arriving at the same time. Are guys and girls even allowed to be roommates in college dorms? It seems like that would be a good way to get sexual harassment lawsuits lobbied against the school. Roommate's old girlfriend exits the door that, unless I'm mistaken, leads to their room. Does she live there too? Roommate and his ex go get coffee to discuss their break up. This doesn't bode well for Emma.

During her speech Jane says she wouldn't have succeeded if it wasn't for the support of one person. This should be Spinner since he was the only person who supported her. Instead Jane gives credit to her coach, the man who did everything in his power to make her quit and didn't even support her being on the team after the rest of the team accepted her. Jane has to say he supported her or else he will expel her. Spinner and Webster can't believe it.

Jane comes and sits next to Spinner, and Spinner tells her he is done lying. Then the announcement is made that Barry Cohen is going to be giving a speech on being a student farmer. Since Spinner is pretending to be Barry Cohen that means he better get up there and make something else, or everybody will figure out he isn't who he says he is. If I were Spinner I'd just yell "Oh no, diarrhea!" and run out of the room.

Why the fuck is Toby the Battle Bot M.C.?

KC touches Clare's hand because he likes her and stuff. Connor tries to touch Alli's hand and she is grossed out. I don't blame her. You have to be pretty gross though if your close friend reacts to your touch with disgust. I would expect her to ask him to move his hand, or at least be a little subtle but when somebody as gross as Connor touches you tact goes out the window.

Connor tells Claire she should go to the dance with him because he knew Claire first and is way better at robots than KC. I think not being good at robots is a good reason to be attracted to a person.

Canadian Battle Bots is lame. Instead of fighting, they play robot basketball and instead of Mick Foley they have Toby. Degrassi loses the competition, although even the winners are losers. KC asks Connor "What's your problem dude?" Connor has a lot of problems.

In a short scene we find out Emma is pissed that her roommate is talking to his ex and she is doing the mature thing and going home so that she doesn't have to discuss things with him and figure out exactly what their situation is.

Spinner's speech is awesome. He says that coffee isn't grown in Canada, but milk is used in coffee and as a result there is an increased demand for milk at coffee shops. Spinner then proposes to Jane. Amazingly enough the crowd begins chanting "Jane and Barry." That must have been an impressive speech if he has the crowd behind him like that. Jane walks out, since you know, she is really angry at Spinner right now.

Jane is angry because her speech was on women succeeding on their own and that means a women can't get married even if her husband works at The Dot and she is becoming a lawyer. Simply by being married it would cause her accomplishments to mean nothing. Spinner points out that Jane didn't thank him in her speech. Jane thinks this doesn't matter, so Spinner breaks up with her. Looks like Canada's suicide rate is going to increase by one.

I guess football season isn't finished. The Shep is giddy that he got mentioned in Jane's speech. Webster tells Jane she is a cold hearted bitch for not giving Spinner his due. Jane points out Spinner lied to her and ruined her speech. Webster's like "Come on, it's Spinner," but Jane won't listen to reason.

The Degrassi team has been able to come back in the tournament and are fighting for third. No doubt Toby gave them a rousing pep talk about the importance of teamwork and how not dating in high school isn't that bad. You get plenty of time to paint your D&D miniatures. In the middle of the competition, Alli asks Clare what's up with the dance. Clare says "You're asking me about the dance now? We're fighting for our lives here." Johnny was right! The robots are rebelling!

Degrassi wins the match and Toby tells them he's proud of them. The robot asks Clare to go to the dance with Connor. That's pretty impressive since I highly doubt they took the time to give the robot a speaker or anything sort of components required to make it speak. Clare says yes because robots do not accept no for an answer.

Here's Manny in a belly shirt doing yoga. You're welcome.

Roommate returns to his room and doesn't understand why Emma isn't there and is angry. Manny tells him Emma assumed he was cheating on her with the ex girlfriend even though he and Emma only went on one date and he didn't really want to go on a date with her and he only went to talk to his ex so that they could both get closure. Manny says he chose wrong when he went to talk with his ex girlfriend, then goes on to tell him he always tries to be the nice guy but sometimes you have to choose what you want despite the fact that somebody will get hurt. I think he will be hurt if he dates Emma. She is self centered and impossible to please.

At the dance Clare agrees to dance with Connor with all the excitement of a person who is about to jump in a tank of cockroaches. Moose comes by and pushes them together, telling them that's how you slow dance. That's our Moose! Always helping out the younger generation. Being that close to smelly Connor makes Clare have to puke so she runs away.

In the hall KC is talking with somebody who looks like season 1 JT. Clare comes by and tells KC that she wanted to go to the dance with him but didn't because of the robot. Then they start dancing. Connor comes out and is upset because Clare is his date. I'm going to have to side with Connor on this one. I hated it when girls I went to dances with started dancing with the person they actually like, not the person who bullied them into going to the dance using a robot. Connor runs off and Clare follows.

Since when did Emma have a dog?

Roommate stands in Emma's yard singing "My Bonnie Lies over the Ocean" because Degrassi couldn't afford the rights to any modern songs. Roommate tells Emma he didn't start dating her to be a good guy and that he's done being a good guy. This comment shouldn't make any sense to Emma because she wasn't present when Manny told him he always tries to be a good guy (by talking to his ex) and that being a good guy sometimes hurts people like Emma, who can't stand the idea of somebody else getting attention. While making out Connor runs in yelling "Dances suck!" I don't think Emma knows who Connor is.

Fun Fact: I always thought that the song went "my bunny" and was about a person losing his pet while on vacation. The truth is less interesting.

Later on Emma and Roommate watch Connor wheel the battle bot into his room. Connor is going to have sex with that robot.

Jane is surprised that Spinner didn't show up at the dance. She missed the memo that specified that only high schoolers are allowed at high school dances. Holly J comes to Spinner's defense and says she will tell Jane where to find Spinner if she begs for the information. Jane does as she is told because this is Spinner we're talking about. Jane would orally pleasure Holly J for this information.

Spinner as it turns out is on his way to Jay's uncle's cottage for a wild weekend of fly fishing and brush clearing. Jay gets a call. Afterwards he says they need to stop at the dance because Manny is there and he wants to get some of her pootang before heading to the woods. This is just a trick to get Spinner to the dance. Spinner doesn't think its weird that Manny would be at a high school dance because he assumes everybody repeats senior year. After all, he and, like, five of his friends had to do it.

Jay runs around the dance yelling for Manny, so I suppose he wasn't in on the trick. This makes him look really stupid. Jane uses a microphone set up on a stage for some reason to thank Spinner for his support and ask for forgiveness. Spinner is Jesus, so of course he turns the other cheek.

There are a bunch of short little scenes, here's the rundown:

Alli tells Johnny he likes her a lot. Johnny tells her she is tripping balls. He then kisses her. Johnny is sending mixed messages.

Anya is looking for Sav and sees him dancing with some other chick.

Clare tells KC she isn't ready for a relationship. KC says "And who aren't you ready to have this relationship with?" Damn, he's talking in riddles. KC is like Gandalf but with a worse haircut.

Jay is impressed with Holly J's sneakiness. She would make a great Candy Bandit, but judging by her skinniness, I don't think she eats.

To close the episode, Jane admits she can never live without Spinner. The only condition is she doesn't want a wedding until after she graduates. This way, when all her college friend sleep with Spinner it's only her boyfriend cheating on her, not her husband. Spinner and Jane, those two truly are lost in love.

Rating: A
This might seem pretty bold. For one thing nothing in these two episodes makes any sense. The Emma story is completely unnecessary, if not a distraction from what should be the focus of the show, Degrassi High School. The new kids' stories were lame and I don't like any of them. Originally I was going to grade the episode a lot lower. That is, until I realized what it is: a Greek drama.

Our hero Spinner is cut down from his lot in life by the whims of the gods as punishment for his hubris. Then cast out, without police school or love he must use his wits and strength to gain back his love. By the end of our tale, Spinner has regained Jane, his future, and the favor of his gods.

If there is a flaw to this tale its that the Spinner parts are awesome, but easily could have fit into one episode if they didn't bog it down with five subplots. The subplots all get an F-. Still, Spinner pulls it up to an A.

Does It Go There? Yes.
If the 'it' is Toby and the 'there' is to a robot competition.
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