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"Causing a Commotion"

Season 8 Episode 11
Canadian Air Date: February 8th, 2009

Boycott the Caf name: "Cowboy Connor's Crazy Adventure"
Important characters: Connor, Claire, The Shep
Issue of the Week: Asperger's

We start out with The Shep making a video announcement saying that he will be receiving the principal of the year award. He doesn't say who is giving out the award. I think he is presenting it to himself because he is a horrible principal.

In Media Immersion Connor is setting up a lamp next to his computer because he is strange. Shep comes in and calls everybody geeks before telling a couple of the new kids to video tape people giving quotes about him. He says its for his award ceremony but I think hes going to masturbate to it. The Shep then trips over Connor's floor lamp. Principal of the year then tells Connor to be more normal and steals his lamp. Claire tries to defend Connor and gets detention because you don't fuck with The Shep. He's principal of the year bitches. Official reason for the detention: having an opinion. Yup, he doesn't even try to hide it, The Shep straight up says if your opinion differs from his you will get detention. Principal of the year.

Hit that theme music skateboard kid!

Claire is bad mouthing The Shep on the principal of the year video. Alli is taping and refuses to allow anything negative to be said. Where is your journalistic integrity Alli! Claire then decides to go all Emma on this shit and protest the entire proceedings. Derek and Moose try to steal the camera but are run off by KC who you might recall is younger and smaller then Derek and Moose. KC is able to best those two villains because he has self confidence also Derek and Moose are idiots.

This display of bravado invigorates Claire. She says that they need to unite or The Shep's reign of evil will go on forever. Anya has reservations about going up against The Shep since he is corrupt and will have no qualms about expelling every last one of them.

Dissention runs among all peer groups, remember when Riley broke Sav's nose? I don't because I only watch the episodes that I'm reviews but I guess it happened. Danny thinks its bogus that Riley only got three days suspension for it. Evidently the light sentence is due to The Shep not wanting to lose his star running back. Principal of the year indeed Danny says sarcastically while wearing a monocle and smoking a pipe.

Sav and Anya are ignoring Danny's mutinous tirade in favor of making googly eyes at each other. Then Sav beats her at arm wrestling. According to ancient Arabic tradition this means he gets to kiss her but Anya is Canadian 100% and gives him a one way ticket to denial town. Sav apologizes for breaking up with her and wants to get back together. Anya is understanding but she won't get back together with Sav because he is too ashamed of her to tell his family about their relationship.

The next day everybody in Media Immersion has a lamp. You see The Shep said Connor couldn't have a lamp because it was special treatment and Connor isn't allowed to have special treatment. If everybody has a lamp then it isn't special so suck on that Principal douche bag.

Seeing that the students have the audacity to question his authority sends The Shep into a rage. He gives all the students detention and tells Claire that the only way to convince him to change his mind is to bargain with him and they have nothing that he wants so tough titties. Worse of those students probably had to bring those lamps from home. The lamps are too big to fit in their lockers so they'll have to carry them to every class which will be inconvenient.

In the other plot Sav is mulling over his situation. Dating is illegal for Muslims. If his parents found out he would get grounded and Anya would have acid poured into her clitoris. Danny points out that Sav plays in a band and doesn't dress like a Muslim so his parents are probably cool. Sav does not think that would be so. Sav must choose between Anya and family. Family is of course the right choice because he is in high school and his relationship would probably not last more then six months anyways.

Scene: Detention

Claire proposes taking their case to the school board. Connor is bashing his pencil against a book. The teacher is paged and leaves. Didn't anybody learn a lesson from the breakfast club episode? Now these kids are going to run amuck around the school and make out on the roof.

Connor has been tapping his pencil. Alli tells him to stop it. Now we are suppose to think he doesn't because he has Asperger's. I think he didn't hear her. He looks up like he thought somebody said his name, but then puts it down as if he concluded he must have been mistaken. Alli freaks out and tries stealing his pencil, so Connor spits on her.

Alli calls him a freak but that's what you get for stealing a bro's pencil bitch! You ain't so pretty now that you're covered in Connor spit!

Alli breaks the pencil so Connor pushes her to the ground. Round 2: Winner: Connor. The teacher comes in and wants to know what's going on but before Connor can be further punished he runs away. Claire follows because this seems like as good of a time as any to get out of detention.

In the hall KC attacks Claire for supporting Connor even though he pushed Alli. Too bad Alli broke his pencil. I say string her up! Claire makes some allusion to bullying but I don't care because something way cooler is about to happen. Inside a classroom Connor yells "I am not apologizing to Alli" before running away again. You can't stop the Contrain, he just runs away and you can't punish what you can't catch. Don't bother chasing after him. That's like chasing a ray of sunshine.

The Shep wants Connor expelled. Mr. Simpson suggests waiting for the test results. The Shep says "Fuck you and your test results. I want Connor gone, this aint his first incident buckaroo." I'm pretty sure it is his first incident, unless something happened that wasn't covered in one of the episodes. Maybe Spinner doctored some videos and made it look like Connor was beating people up last year.

At the Sav and Alli household Sav is practicing telling his parents that he like girls. Alli is playing the part of their father. Sav says his speech and Alli says "You're grounded for life," in a terrible impersonation. I don't know what their father sounds like but I know it isn't like that. Still it made me laugh because it sounds like how I would impersonate a Middle Eastern person.

Grounded for Life is awesome.

Their father comes in and asks "Why so serious?" Alli and Sav both stand up. She is like really tiny compared to him. Like a little Arabian midget.

The talk goes well, Sav's poppa says he should invite Anya over for dinner. He even says they will serve fresh monkey brain.

Connor has admitted defeat and is packing his clothes. Claire enters his basement saying that Connor needs to stop packing and fight this thing to the bitter death. Connor says "She took my pencil, I'm a freak okay!" So I guess he is acknowledging that assault over a broken pencil is over kill. A cool name for a band and/or robot would be Maximum Over Kill.

Claire notices that all of Connor's clothes are the same. Really, if somebody wore the same thing everyday I think you would notice sooner. I noticed this one guy who wore a bear shirt everyday at my school and I wasn't even his friend. Connor points out that Claire wears the same thing everyday as well. Point: Connor. He then starts throwing things at Claire.

You know, I like this newer, crazier Connor. He's a loose cannon with a short fuse. He don't take no guff from anybody. You mess with Conbull you get the horn!

The next day Claire is wearing a new outfit. I think Connor nailed her in the back of the head with a book last night and she couldn't get the blood out of her school girl costume. Claire tells Alli and KC that she thinks something is wrong with Connor (news story of the century I know) Snake pulls Claire to the side of the classroom and reveals that Connor has Asperger's syndrome. Degrassi is back to its edutainment roots. Lets all kick back, drink some Sunny D, and learn about Asperger's.

Fact 1: Asperger's means that Connor's brain is wired differently. Social rules we all know he has to learn.

Fact 2: There is no cure for Asperger's, but with counseling Connor can live a normal life.

Fact 3: Calling it Assburgers is mean.

Fact 4: Just because you have no friends and spend all day reading Inuyasha fanfics it doesn't mean you have Assburgers.

Elsewhere Sav and Anya are in a class. I'm not sure what class, the teaching is going off on Romeo and Juliet being hormone driven teenagers and then something about painting. Sav gives Anya a fork, which signifies that he is inviting her over for dinner. Anya needs to bring her own fork because letting on outsider use your fork is haraam. Sav and Anya kiss and the creepy teaching ruins the moment by watching them and telling them to enjoy love before they are old and haggard and own 23 cats and can only find pleasure in watching teenagers make out.

Claire wants to help Connor in his time of need. Connor is in the basement of the Simpson house building a robot out of an erector set. Connor is initially cold but comes to life after Claire compliments his robot. That's what my mom use to say, the way to a man's heart is through a robot, although she meant it literally and had a robotic suit that could shrink to microscopic sizes in order to travel through the blood stream. She also had bookend shaped like eagles.

Claire says Einstein may have had Asperger's, he use to wear the same outfit everyday. So did Doug! Then the two of them come to an understanding about how its okay to be crazy if it makes you more like Einstein and Doug.

The dinner is going well. They've eaten a lovely meal of fish eyes and tarantulas and are washing it down with cow urine. Anya was delighted by Sav's father's stories about the time Indiana Jones came to his workplace and freed the child slaves, but now it is time for business. Sav's mother says he can't marry Anya because she is white. Desert is going to be awkward.

Later on at school Sav apologizes to Anya about the terrible racism at dinner. Anya doesn't accept the apology as she is still upset that he put her in that situation even though she stated she wouldn't date him unless he put her in that situation. Sav reveals that he told his parents he wouldn't stop seeing her even if they think she is an infidel and no matter how many stones they throw at him he won't quit her. Then they kiss, that crazy teacher from earlier is down the hall watching them and pleasuring herself.

The Shep is taping his Principal of the year video when Claire, back in the same old clothes, interrupts saying Connor needs to be let back in Degrassi. The Shep says Degrassi is better off without all the weirdoes. Claire says The Shep is a terrible principal. Upset that a student wants her friend to not be expelled for having a handicap The Shep goes into a Bill O'Reilly crazy man meltdown and flips out on her calling her a bitch and declaring that they will forget the video and just do it live. Principal of the year.

KC suggests they use the aborted taped intro to show the school that The Shep is less than principal of the year and more like asshole of the year. Principal Asshole. Principal Asshole of the year. Principal Shepherd Asshole of the year. Commander Asshole A. Shepherd riding around the universe on the SSV Normandy.

The Shep's award ceremony is hopping. There is a disk jockey and a bunch of football players in fully pads. They could have just worn their jersey's, that would be more comfortable, but they went all out. You know, I assumed that was a do back there but on closer inspection it appears that he is standing behind a sink so I don't know.

When the principal appreciation presentation is suppose to be played instead we get the principal calls a girl a bitch presentation. The fact that the principal of the year would swear shocks everybody so much that they all gasp loudly at the same time. Its so much gasping I'm surprised that nobody's toupee went flying off.

Claire stands up and questions "Is this really the principal of the year?" KC also stands up and is all "right on." He didn't have time to prepare a statement. Alli stand up but doesn't say anything. Jane is next, she looks at him and says "You know why." Eventually everybody gets up and walk out. Outside the school they start chanting "No more Shep!" You know what Raditch never did while principal? Cause a riot.

The president of the school board approaches Claire and wants to know what's going on. Meanwhile the mob, led by Danny, are looting small businesses and starting fires. That'll show those businesses who had nothing to do with why the riot started who's boss.

Only one poor janitor is left alive to clean up the remains of the Great Toronto Riot of 2009.

Snake has been elected big giant head principal while The Shep is sent to an important "work shop." By workshop, Snake means jail. The Shep isn't fired because he has tenure and you can't fire teachers with tenure no matter how many handicap people they insult or freshmen girls they have sex with so we can expect him to be back sometime in the future. I hope his character becomes like Sideshow Bob. He shows up every once in a while to try to get Connor expelled with crazy schemes.

Connor is back and has a desk lamp. He is allowed to attend Degrassi because he now goes to crazy people therapy were he learns to control his incredible strength and how to apologize for using it for evil. KC asks what its like to have Asperger's. Connor says he is relieved to know that his problems aren't his fault. Now he can learn how to deal with his problem, rather than causing a commotion.

Rating: B
This is the first time the new kids didn't suck ass. Connor flipping a shit and then running away every five minutes was hilarious. Plus we got to learn, and isn't that the most important thing?

Does It Go There? Yes.
Bringing down a school's administration definitely goes there. Fucking Snake ended up the interim principal. When the Shep fell, it must have been like taking down somebody in the mafia. In order to cut a deal he revealed everything he new about every teacher and administrator. So many people go sent to special workshops that when the dust cleared only Snake and Crazy Lunch Lady remained. They wanted Crazy Lunch Lady to be principal but then she would have to change her name so Snake got the job. I predict that as principal Snake will make radical changes to Degrassi, such as changing the dress code so that it is okay for men to wear panties under your adult diaper and making a rule that says you can bring your stuffed animals to class. These changes will only affect him.
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