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"Jane Says" Part 2

Oh yeah! We got the warning out and everything. You know it's going to be a good one.

Jane is sleeping on her closet floor and dreaming about her dad telling her to be good. She looks confused when she gets up. She was probably drunk again last night and doesn't remember climbing into the closet. One time I had a party, I got drunk and fell asleep in a closet, when I woke up I found out that all my cash, TV and computer were just dreams. At least I assume they were dreams since I they weren't there the next day.

Jane goes down for breakfast and her dad is there. Looks like he spent the night. Molested or not, a teenager is probably going to feel uncomfortable eating with their estranged father not eight hours after he got done sexing up her mother. You know Jane is upset because she skips breakfast. They are eating pancakes. Pancakes are great. You don't skip pancakes unless something big is happening.

Jane goes to see Mia during cheerleading practice. Jane asks about the well being of Izzy and if she had any uncomfortable, uh em, I can't finish that joke without feeling all dirty and wanting to throw up. Lets head to the next scene.

Claire is setting up a charity clothes drive. Alli shows up dressed in a grey hoodie and baggy brown pants. I've seen a lot of people dressed like this but it seems to be unheard of at Degrassi. Chante Black calls it a nightmare and Johnny calls her a butch dyke and flips the bird while speeding past her on his dirt bike. Alli wants to remedy the problem by stealing clothes from the charity clothes drive. As we all know all the fashionable clothes end up in the charity clothes drive

Spinner gets Jane excused from class so that they can travel to the Yukon together. Jane starts talking about changing their names and “going all witness protection on their asses” which alerts Spinner that something is up. Jane just says she is upset that her dad is around. Spinner tells her she should consider herself lucky that her dad didn't die and give her ball cancer. Jane, scared because she made Spinner angry, runs back to class.

In order to prevent Alli from stealing from the poor, Claire lets Alli wear some of Darcy's clothes. Alli convinces Claire to wear some as well since Darcy doesn't dress like she is retarded. Amazingly, all of Darcy's clothes fit both Alli and Claire perfectly. In the end, Claire ends up with a sexy new fashion that would not be out of place on an elderly librarian. Claire makes waves at The Dot with her hot black cardigan over a white dress shirt with black dress pants combo. Alli gets angry because random people are making lewd comments at Claire and not her.

Jane asks Lucas about why their parents split up and he flips a shit on her about how she use to get all the attention and never appreciated it and should be able to forgive him. So yeah, Lucas is upset that Jane was molested and not him. Lucas says “You and your damn backwards pajamas” which is not a statement I understand at all. Why were her pajamas backwards and how is that a sign of rape? Couldn't Carlo make the argument that five year olds can't dress themselves very well? I know I couldn't properly button a shirt until I was 17. I could easily see a five year old wearing backwards pajamas.

Jane says she is crashing at Spinner's but then just wanders around the park. Spinner's house use to be here but after the fight earlier he moved it so that Jane couldn't find him. In the park, Jane flashes back to being a child. Her dad tells her she put her pajamas on backwards and he is going to have to fix them. So he only molested her when she didn't dress herself properly, I guess? I don't know.

The next morning, Jane wakes up and looks confused. I think she was drunk again last night. Jane gets a call from her parents but won't talk. She goes to school smelly from not showering or changing.

Claire is still wearing Darcy's clothes. Really, she is wearing more now than ever before because she has pants on instead of a skirt and long sleeves but it is still having an arousing effect on the student body. This pisses off Alli. How dare her friend not dress like a Catholic school girl? Alli being angry about how Claire dresses makes no sense but for once it isn't because nobody at Degrassi knows how to write a decent story. Teenage girls are always getting angry at each other for reasons that make no sense.

The Shep asks Danny and Sav where Jane is. He is pissed because the team is playing the alumni later that day and she is the manliest player they have. You can tell The Shep wants to start swearing and saying racial slurs but the sensitivity chip they placed in his brain prevents that so he just starts talking like he had a stroke. Degrassi must have a weak team if they can be beat by a bunch of 40 year olds who haven't played or practiced since they were 18 and have gained 100 pounds since the last game they were in. Danny tries calling Jane but she says she had the flu and can't play.

Jane is in fact searching for Spinner. She tries The Dot because Spinner spends 90% of his time there. Today, however, he is at the football game. Jane probably should have guessed he would be there since he is coaching the team. Jane decides to wait at The Dot for Spinner. Jane is crying so Holly J is being as nice as she can be, which means she only says a few mean things before giving Jane a frosty chocolate milkshake. Holly J tells Jane that no matter what happened to her she is going to have to face it, better sooner then later. That's good advice for anything but being molested when you are five. When you are molested as five year old, it takes a little more to get over it. But hey, free milkshake.

In class, KC tells Claire that she looks nice. Alli, who is at the board, turns around and yells at them. The teacher just raises his eyebrows, as if to say “What's up with that bitch?” Alli gets the question wrong and Claire corrects her, much to Alli's disdain.

Alli asks KC why Claire feels the need to be smart and pretty. He gives good advice, just because another girl is pretty it doesn't make you not pretty and guys are stupid. That's why Johnny is ignoring her. Also I'm not sure if they were ever dating since all he ever did was tell her he didn't want to date her. Alli kisses KC then runs away ashamed. KC never made a move on her. I'm not sure why Alli kissed him or got upset about kissing him when she was the only one who made any move to kiss.

Somehow word gets around that Alli kissed KC even though nobody saw them do it. Johnny teases Alli about this and implies that he likes her. I think Johnny is just screwing with her now. He says he is a bad guy and she is better off without her. Of course when a man says he is a bad guy and tells a girl she is better off without her the girl is going to soak through her panties over him. Alli calls Johnny an idiot, but it is obvious she wants to jump his bone. As he walks away Johnny tells Alli she looks good no matter what she wears. This makes Alli think Johnny likes her. Like I said before, he is probably just messing with her mind.

Jane shows up at the game after it has ended. The current Degrassi team lost. The team made up of people in their physical prime who have been practicing and playing together all season lost to a team that has never played together and is probably mostly made up by middle aged men trying to recapture their youth. They won because they were coached by Spinner and Spinner is the Mike Ditka of Canadian football. To celebrate the victory they eat some hot dogs Jay stole.

Lucas tells Jane to not ruin their happy family unit and Jane is all like “The dude molested to me, way not cool” and Lucas has to admit that molesting isn't cool. Carlo is in the school with Izzy. No wonder he finally came back. His granddaughter is the right age for him. Carlo denies Jane's accusations saying she is confused, and he just had to check her butt hole for anything suspicious, like butt hole cancer. Lucas comes in and backs Jane up on this. Really it's better to not have a dad then to have a child molester dad.

Jane tells her mom what went down when her dad put her to bed, with all the dirty details. I thought that the molestation had to do with the original break up but apparently not. I thought the mom was a horrible person for getting back together with a child rapists but it turns out she was just ignorant of his love of child raping. They hug and either we're cutting to a different day or Spinner used his teleportation powers because Jane, Lucas, and their mother are suddenly in a therapist's office. Lucas apologizes for not doing more to protect Jane, although really there was little he could do unless he figured out how to travel backwards until he inhabited the body of himself at that age and then he threatened his dad with a stick of dynamite.

Lucas can't travel through time, but he can and the rest of the family can begin the healing process. From now on they will listen to what Jane Says.

Rating: D
The B stories were both dumb and trivial. Oh no, Danny's girlfriend who may have appeared in up to two other stories is disliked by his friends. Looks like he will just have to hang out with her friends, or she could apologize and explain she just wanted them to think she is cool. Its kind of flattering when somebody thinks you are too cool to hang out with them. The Alli and Claire story is dumb in a realistic way since teenage girls are dumb but that doesn't make it interesting. How about Claire stops dressing like an idiot so Alli attacks her with a knife, then later Claire gets Chlamydia? Now that's entertaining.

The Jane story certainly tries to be 100% intense but it all goes by way to fast. In the course on one hour we find out that Jane's father is coming back into their life, her mother is still interested in him, he molested her, and then they kick him out and all get closure. That's too fast. They should have built this up over the course of a few episodes. A couple of episodes ago the B plot could have been about her dad coming back. Then we find out the mother is still interested in him romantically. The more time Jane spends with him the more she remembers until the shocking truth comes out in a dramatic hour long drama. Instead of weeks or months of soul searching and repressed memories returning the entire story plays out over the course of three days tops. That just makes the mom look like a slut since she slept with the man who left her years a go the second day he came back into her life.

I suppose asking Degrassi to take time and develop a story is insane. I should just be glad that they didn't just shoot off the entire story in a normal length episode. The death of JT happened in one normal episode. If the death of a long time cast member doesn‘t get two parts then I guess we‘re lucky the mere rape of another gets the special treatment.

Jane Says
I'm done with Sergio.

Does It Go There? You betcha!
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