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"Up Where We Belong"

Season 8 Episode 17
Canadian airdate: April 5th, 2009

Boycott the Caf name: "Mia Modeling Makes More Molah"
Important characters: Mia, Salve
Issue of the Week: Modeling while a teenager (II), Musical dreams (XVII)

My sister has been watching Degrassi lately, trying to catch up on a show she hasn't watched much until this year. She'll ask me to explain who people are and what they are doing, because the producers are very poor at fleshing out characters or mapping out situations. I'll try to fill her in, mostly using explanations from the website, which only confuses her more. She tells me she doesn't like the new characters and asked to borrow my DVDs of the early seasons. But I don't always puts discs in the right case after watching them and my sister found a The Office DVD in one of the cases. I told her that was good for her, because now she could watch a good show. That's my sister for you. I will explain Degrassi to her and she always tries to hook me up with guys from her school's Gay-Straight Alliance.

Guidance counselor Sovey is speaking to each of the kids individually to get them ready for their next grade, which I think is going to be grade 12. That kind of sucks because it means we're in for at least one more season of this shit. Sovey tries to get them pumped for senior year using a style of speaking she probably uses when she goes door to door to sell steaknives. Being a faculty member of Degrassi pays very little.

Sovey tells Mia that the choices she makes now will affect her for the rest of her life. The choices she makes now? How about the choices she made five years ago? Yeah, Mia knows something about living with poor choices. Turns out Mia is failing English because she is focusing so much on being a teenage model--not so much because of focusing on being a mother. I think Mia randomly forgets she has a kid.

Mia begs Ms. Kwan for help and Kwan agrees to throw her a bone by having her final class speech count for 60% of her grade. I'm sure Mia will get right down to writing her very important speech.

In art class, the weird art teacher (I know, that's redundant adjective) gives that Pink Floyd fan an A for his picture because it makes her feel lonely. The teacher also feels lonely because she doesn't have a boyfriend and lives with fourteen cats. The art teacher gives Holly J a C for her drawing of fruit because there is no emotion in it, also the art teacher only gives good grades to good looking boys because she is creepy.

Studz rehearses a song about Google. Why is Spinner still in this band? Maybe he owns all the equipment and the others are paying him for music lessons. Maybe Spinner is looking to get a job at an advertising agency and he thinks this Google song will be a great addition to his portfolio. Salve has to choose between taking a music master class or a science class senior year, because Salve is going to college to become an electrical engineer, but his heart is telling him to become a rock star. He should listen to his head because he is not good at music. The show wants us to believe that Salve has some musical talent, but I doubt that because he is in Studz.

Holly J asks the Shemp to change her art grade, but the Shemp says the teacher rules the classroom. Damn unions. The Shemp then tries to grab Holly's breast but stops himself before he gets in trouble and has to go to another sensitivity seminar. I bet he really likes those because he gets full pay but doesn't have to deal with administrating a school.

Mia is working on her speech while getting ready for a modeling shoot. The black makeup lady tells her that if Mia were her kid, she's be in school right now. I guess she sends her children to school at 10pm. Also, if Mia was her child, she would be black.

Mia shows up late for her speech assignment. Everyone has to give a speech about where they see themselves in five years. Mia did not prepare her speech and doesn't know what to say. She sees a young male-to-female transsexual wearing an awesome whale t-shirt and makes up a speech on the fly about wanting to become a marine biologist, which she bombs. I don't know why Mia couldn't have something prepared about wanting to become a professional model. Mia fails and will have to repeat next term. Mia is very upset over this. Ask me, there really shouldn't be a stigma against failing at Degrassi when about half the student body already has. Degrassi really needs to work on keeping its students in school. They have the drop out rate of an inner city school in Detroit.

Mia then goes to pick up here daughter at ballet practice. The teacher believes Mia's five year old daughter could have a promising career in ballet if Mia would just pay for additional expensive classes. Mia decides the expense is worth her five year old's ballet dreams because she can pay for it with more modeling and it is not like her daughter is going to get bored with ballet in another couple of years. The ballet teacher then tells the next parents who come in that their daughter could have a promising career in ballet if they would just pay for additional expensive classes.

Mia doesn't know how to balance school and modeling. A fellow teen model tells Mia she dropped out at grade 10 and it was the best decision she ever made. Also, she was failing all her classes. "Sometimes you have to make the tough choices," the other model tells Mia. "Like when we dropped a bomb on Japan during the Vietnam War because they attacked us with Godzilla."

Mia drops out of school to model full time, just like the many other students who have dropped out to go to Britain to meet boys or Vancouver to become a musician, but ended up a homeless male prostitute. Ms. Sovey doesn't try to talk Mia out of dropping out. I guess she doesn't like Mia very much. Sovey should be working on lowering Degrassi 50% drop out rate, but she's in a really strong union so doesn't give a shit. Peter appears randomly outside while Mia is leaving the school and asks if Mia's dropping out has anything to do with him. Peter is a narcissist.

Holly J submits another painting, but the crazy art teacher still gives it a bad grade because she doesn't want to sleep with Holly J. Holly J totally calls out the art teacher for being a failed artist who has to resort to teaching. Man, my high school art teachers weren't even that good. The final art teacher my school before I graduated and they eliminated it from the budget was a woman whose previous job was a cashier at the grocery store. I have to agree with Holly J since every painting I've seen in that class is light years ahead of what you would really get out of teenagers and you're a pretty big dick of a high school art teacher if you're not going to give out good grades for the half of amount of effort Holly has put it.

At the Bandari home, Salve's dad is listening to some smooth jazz when Salve tells him he does not want to become an electrical engineer, but instead a musician Salve's dad tells his son he gave up his own dream of playing the accordion to pursue engineering and Salve should do the same. Salve's dad has a point. Hey Salve, you want to be like Craig, homeless in Vancouver and giving blow jobs to men by the train tracks for quarters? Because that is what Craig is doing right now. And you're ten times the girly little pretty boy Craig is, you'd get eaten alive.

There is a new music teacher in Degrassi. You will recognize him as Ed Robertson from the Canadian music sensation The Barenaked Ladies. I kid of course, there is no way you would recognize a member of the Barenaked Ladies. I assume that Robertson is playing himself and had to take a teaching job because the band doesn't make any money. I actually enjoyed the album Stunt when I was in the sixth grade but I don't know if The Barenaked Ladies have done anything since then. Still, that makes them the Canadian musical act I am most familiar with after Neil Young.

The music teacher thinks Salve has potential, but he was in The Barenaked Ladies, so what would he know? Anyway, inspired by that guy, Salve works out a deal with his dad where he will pursue electrical engineering but also some music courses in college. I always assumed he could do both. I assumed that an electrical engineer was just the Canadian term for an electrician, and that's like two years at a vocational school. He should do that. It's not like Salve has any better chances to get laid at a four year school anyway.

Holly J tries again to draw fruit. The guy I think she has a crush on tells her she is a disaster and Holly J takes that as a compliment. The art teacher asked her fourteen casts what they thought of the work. Six cats said meow and another peed on it. To the art teacher, that means give it a B.

Mia's mom is very disappointed about her quitting school telling her daughter, "Remember what you wanted to be when you were little? You wanted to be everything: baker, judge, firefighter, Prime Minster, vampire slayer..." Vampire slayer? Is that a real job in Canada? I guess so, the country is pretty far away from the sun. It must get dark really early. I've never heard of this thing called a "Prime Minister" either. Must be the head of a really big church.

There is another day of Ms. Kwan's students giving their speeches. I guess the speeches were being spread over a week. Mia really should have asked to be allowed to giver hers on the last day since they have been continuing these since Mia dropped out. Chante Black wants to be a celebrity gossip reporter. I think that is a good career choice for Chante because she is a jerk who has no empathy for others. Mia returns and asks for another change to give her speech. Kwan wants to say no, but puts it up to a vote by the students. The kids let Mia giver her speech because no one wants to say no to the hot girl. Mia then re-enrolls in school.


Rating: F
Hey look, an episode about one of the kids wanting to pursue a career in music! Wow! There have been 160 total episodes in this stupid show, but I swear they've done the "musical dreams" plot at least 300 times so far.

¿Va Allí? No
Degrassi es un programa de televisión muy estúpido. Odio mirarlo porque no me entretiene. Deseo que la red cancelara Degrassi. Degrassi fue creado por el diablo. Odio el diablo. Si el diablo entró en mi hogar, diría al diablo, "¡Tu es malo! ¡Tengo mi crucifijo para protegerme! ¡Salga! ¡Salga! ¡Salga! ¡Salga!"

Tengo gusto de los burritos.
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