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"Danger Zone"

Season 8 Episode 18
Canadian airdate: April 12th, 2009

Boycott the Caf name: "Spinner Gets Shot"
Important characters: Spinner, Holly J, Connor, Claire, KC
Issue of the Week: Getting shot

Hola ninos y ninas, es el Super Boycott the Caf Exposición. Have you ever had a dream that you're raping a women who has your grandfather's face and a porcipine lives inside her vagina and no matter how much you try to wake up you just can't? That's how it feels to have to keep reviewing episodes of Degrassi. We just can't stop though because this is the only part of the website people actually visit. Reviewing Degrassi is like my job, while reviewing Hamtaro is my passion.

Lets begin: that fucker with the stupid name, Blue, is asking Holly J to a dance in an extremely artsy way. He has a power point presentation with illustrations of her and some shit about coonskin hats. Apparently the dance is called "The Black and White Dance." I guess Canada has finally ended segregation. This was also Blue's project for art class. I wonder what kind of grade you get for asking out a girl. Holly J tells Blue that she has to work that night. This is really a cover cause Holly J has the hots for somebody else.

Claire and KC don't like each other because KC is a juvenile delinquent or something. Fucked if I know. I don't watch the episodes unless I'm doing a review and nobody on the internet writes in depth reviews of episodes. I usually check Boycott the Caff when I need to know what happened in a previous episode because we go into the most detail. That's not right. A website making fun of a show shouldn't be the only place you can get reviews of episodes that are longer than two sentences.

I don't even care about KC and Claire's problems. I like the thing with Connor where he wants people over to play Risk. KC and Claire won't come play Risk if the other one is there but it is Thursday and in Connor's Asperger's diseased mind they have to come play Risk with him or bad shit will go down. Some girl with a lumpy face hears Connor talking about Risk and says she likes that game to which he responds "Obviously it's the best game ever." If you pretend Dwight from The Office said that it's a much funnier line. I hope this new girl trying to get Connor to play Risk with her is a plot point.

Later on Connor tells KC that Claire won't be at Risk, so KC agrees to show up. I'm guessing this is going to be the old sitcom routine where Connor then goes and tells Claire that KC won't be at Risk so then they both show up, get trapped in an elevator together, and reconcile.

I was going to take two screen shots for these last few paragraphs, one of the group and then another of lumpy faced girl, but you can kind of see her in the background in the pink. Alright then, I'm not going to bother making another picture, move on to the next scene.

Because two plots just isn't enough we get a scene with Peter and Mia. Mia is upset because Peter was talking with Darcy. Mia must be fairly insecure if she doesn't feel comfortable with Peter maintaining contact with a former girlfriend who is currently on a different continent. Its not like Peter is going to hop on the next plane to New Guinea and hook up with her. I don‘t even know how they are maintaining contact since Africa doesn‘t have phones or email and most of the time the mail carrier gets eaten by a lion. Mia says she wonders what would have happened with Peter and Darcy is Darcy hadn't gotten hired on a better show moved to Africa. Its high school so they probably would have dated for a few more weeks before breaking up, although its Degrassi High School so the break up would have involved STDs, fist fights, and cheating with Manny.

Holly J can't live without Spinner so she goes to The Dot and waits tables for free just to be near him. Spinner must have been really bored because he was reading the Antigrapevine and found out Holly J didn't accept Blue's invitation. I'm guessing Spinner must have stumbled upon the rumor blog by accident while looking for the perfect picture of John Stamos to make his desktop background.

I didn't know what the Anti Grapevine was so I Googled it and found this site. I'm not sure if this is run by people associated with the show or if its just some person who watches the show and writes what happened in some sort of ironic/sarcastic mind fuck. Anyways Spinner says Holly J should go out with Blue but she obviously wants to bone the Spinman and he knows that he would break her in half if they ever got into bed together.

After The Dot closes some guy comes in. I thought it was Craig at first, but he pulls out a gun and Craig would never do something that cool. Craig was too scared to even pee if Spinner was using the urinal next to him, much less pull a gat on him. This guy is also cool because he asked for a hamburger before taking out his piece. I assume he was going to eat it and then rob the place. Might as well get a meal out of the robbery right?

Connor has Claire in his basement. Either he is going to trick her into seeing KC or rape her.

The robber orders Spinner to open the safe. You might think that Spinner could easily destroy this fool with the power of his mind, and you would be right. Spinner is just worried that if he uses his powers around Holly J he might give her brain cancer. Things get tense when after being ordered to open the safe Spinner picks up a baseball bat. The robber thinks that Spinner is trying to be a hero, but actually they keep a bat in the safe. It's autographed by Canadian baseball superstar Ferguson Jenkins. Spinner gives the robber the rest of the contents of the safe, which appears to be a bag of toffee.

There's a knock on the door, and the robber makes Holly J answer it. Turns out its Blue. In order to get him out of danger Holly J says she doesn't like him and he better vamoose. I tell you this Holly J/Blue relationship has had the worse luck. First she stiffs him on the Pink Floyd concert because she became poor and now she has to turn him down because she is being held at gunpoint. With all the lies and death I don't think they'll ever get a date.

Holly J writes the word "gun" in the condensation on the window. Blue sees it, but I doubt he's bright enough to figure out what she means.

KC shows up in the basement and he and Claire are both surprised the other one is there. Connor locks the door and tells them to stay down there until they fix their problems. Ha, you two got kidnapped by a retard.*

*I'm not saying those with Asperger's syndrome are retarded. I'm merely calling Connor retarded because he looks like he has fetal alcohol syndrome.

The robber orders Spinner to unlock the back door so he can sneak out without anybody knowing he was ever there. He then makes some vague threats and tells Holly J he knows who she is. Oh no, Spinner and Holly J better not call the police. If they call the cops and the police don't arrest despite Holly J knowing his full name and possibly his home address then he might come back and get them, assuming the police decide to not protect the people who reported a robber that threatened to kill them and now can't be found.

Then the robber shoots Spinner by accident. Spinner has been hit in the shoulder, which if he is anything like Jimmy means he will now be parlayed.

The coppers show up at The Dot, the robber can't run but Spinner needs medical attention! Mama mia that's a spicey meatball!

Claire asks KC if he can break them out of the basement, which he takes offense to because criminals know how to break out of things, right! I don't know why they can't get out of the one window Emma used to sneak out of the basement every night. Maybe Snake bolted it down when Connor moved in so he wouldn't get out and masturbate all over the neighbor‘s car. KC escapes when Connor comes down to give them juice.

I bet the police are totally giddy. This is the first time they've had to take care of something more dangerous then a moose getting lost in the city. Peter and Sav show up and ask Blue whats going on. I would solve this problem by sending Peter and Sav into The Dot as additional hostages. The robber would probably shoot himself if he thought he might have to spend time with those two.

The red phone is ringing. Looks like Commissioner Gorden is trying to get ahold of Spinner.

Sav and Peter are both relieved when Mia and Anya show up because they thought they were possibly in The Dot. Peter tells Mia he loves her and they start making out while police officers hoot and holler. Then Jane shows up and is worried Spinner might be in The Dot. Considering he and Holly J appear to be the only people who work there that's valid concern.

Inside the robber is upset about how everything is going wrong, so Holly J relates to him saying how things have gone wrong for her, her family being poor and getting kicked off the Spirit Squad, and liking Spinner even though he has a girl. To be fair everybody is attracted to Spinner, including the robber.

Holly J convinces the robber that they should go out together and the robber figures he might as well. He shot Canada's greatest hero (aside from Neil Young) so the best he can hope for is life in prison. If he surrenders at least he might avoid the death penalty. This scene is kind of funny because the officer throws Holly J against a wall as the apprehend the criminal. I like to pretend they're also arresting her.

The paramedics bring out Spinner wrapped in some sort of yellow toxic waste suit. That's because Spinner's blood is acidic if its touched by a human.

Holly J comes to visit Spinner in the hospital. Jane was in there with him but leaves to get coffee when Holly J shows up. Some people you might notice that aren't visiting Spinner is his mother and sister. Maybe they stopped by earlier, or maybe the budget for extras was used up on the police officers.

Spinner tells Holly J that he appreciates how she saved his life, but he is happy with Jane so she has to find a new man. I'm not sure how Spinner knows Holly J likes him, other then the fact that all women like Spinner. Holly J says she likes Spinner because he understands her. Spinner explains that Holly J simply has to open up to others and they also would like her. How do you like that, Spinner is in the hospital but that doesn't stop him from giving great life advice.

At the dance Claire asks Connor why KC is being such a jerk off and Connor says its because KC is "in like" with her. This makes Claire realize that she needs to make up with KC, but she needs Connor's help. This part is awesome; Connor tells KC he needs a basketball, then he locks KC in the equipment room with Claire. Ha, fooled again bitch!

Claire says she thinks they fight because they fear that if they don't they will kiss, then she goes in for a kiss but KC pulls away. Then KC ends up kissing her anyways, so those two are back together. Good job Connor, you fixed everything and got the Risk game back together. His mojo's flowing so freely he even gets that lumpy faced girl who likes Risk to ask him to dance. Enjoy this night Connor, your life will never be this good again.

Holly J shows up at the dance and everybody starts clapping. "It's the person who saved Spinner" they start chanting. Blue and Holly J start dancing. Holly J reveals she stood him up before because her family has become poor and Blue doesn't respond. I can't tell if he's still being mysterious or if he doesn't care. Holly J has learned she can open her herself to tohers without being hurt because, at least if they're Blue, they'll just sort of shrug. Holly J has learned that while its scary to be truthful about your feelings, its not as scary as the Danger Zone.

Rating: B+
I don't know how it happened but this episode is good. I'm giving credit to the B plot. Sure the A plot had Spinner, which certainly helped, but Connor using 80s sitcom tactics to get his friends back together is still making me laugh.

Does It Go There? Fuck Yeah
They fucking shot Spinner. Those bullets must have been made out of kryptonite or something. I would have thought they would just bounce off.
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