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"Somebody"

Season 9 Episode 10
Canadian airdate: November 8th, 2009

Boycott the Caf name: none
Important characters: Holly J, Declan, Connor
Issue of the Week: Dating again

Declan breaks up with that Trish girl from the last episode so now Holly J and him can be a hot item. Since they are now together, Declan says they can make out. But Holly J is the acting principal so when school begins everyone bugs her for things. Students only. Without leadership, the teachers have largely zoned out and are showing movies from the library in class instead of teaching. Don't know what Flashdance has to do with Trigonometry? Take it up with the teacher's union.

B Plot time! The two Connors are reading about Megan Fox and Transformers in Trump Magazine, Canada's finest men's magazine. I don't know if they are turned on by Megan Fox or Transformers. I suspect Transformers. Kwan doesn't want anyone masturbating in her classroom so she sentences Big Conner to detention. Little Connor looks to be around eight years old, so no worries about him making a masturbation mess.

Hey what are you kids looking at?

Declan decides that Holly J is doing too much work so they skip school to go to the Dot, because there is no better date than having Spinner in the room. They then go shopping.

This is boring. Let's go to basketball practice.

Little Connor: How was detention?

Big Connor: Pretty relaxing, actually. I invented Transformers in my mind.

Big Connor doesn't get along well with the other teammates because they think he is retarded. Oh, how the one kid with poodle hair mocks him! Connor gets the last laugh by making stats about the team which show that poodle hair sucks at basketball, almost as badly as Connor.

God, that B plot was stupid. Not guys throwing pee on each other stupid, but still pretty stupid. It has Connor, so we can't expect much.

Holly J is interviewing for a women's mentorship award thing. Turns out Declan's mom will decide who shall win the award, so Holly J makes sure to mention that she is dating her son, thinking it will earn her points. But Declan's mom says that selecting Holly J will make it appear that there is a conflict of interest. Holly J withdraws from the competition.

Later that day, Holly J wins the award.

There is a festive ceremony to honor Holly J. But Holly J cannot be found because she is backstage letting Declan get to second base. They've been dating for a whole day, he deserves it. Everyone sees the two and some guy snaps a photograph for the front page of the The Globe and Mail.

A meeting is called in the principal's office to discuss BraGate. Getting to see stuff like that is why Hotmess wanted back at her old job. Also, the school board has 68 pending lawsuits as a result of Shep's tenure, so there was an opening. Holly's and Declan's mothers agree that Holly J can keep her mentorship but Holly and Declan have to break up.

Holly J and Jane have their jam session in the caf. She is upset about losing Declan and the fact that he went along with it so easily. Jane says she believes in Holly J and maybe its time they both gave up men.

Holly J and Declan have a romantic dinner in the auditorium after school. They are going to stay together, but in secret, so they can't go places where they will be seen together. As a member of high society, Declan's mom will often dine at the Dot. Declan doesn't want to be out in the open because it will upset his mommy and then she won't change his diaper! I mean, his mom has looked the other way every time he has had sex with his sister. He owes it to her to be loyal. This makes Holly J mad.

There are cameras in the school so their continued relationship was discovered by the janitor who likes to review the tapes to try and catch kids having sex. He ships copies to the Netherlands for a tidy profit. Hotmess convenes another meeting because she has nothing better to do. This time Declan stands up to his mommy and says they will continue to date. He has to clarify that he means Holly J and not his sister. Declan and his sister will continue to date each other as well.

Holly J has learned that she is Somebody.

Rating: Z

Does It Go There? No
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