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"Start Me Up"

Season 9 Episode 14
Canadian airdate: November 22nd, 2009

Boycott the Caf name: "When did the Dot get an upstairs?"
Important characters: Spinner, Peter, Clare
Issue of the Week: When did the Dot get an upstairs?

The kids of Degrassi: The Lame Generation are all happy to be heading to college. I am too, because it will mean they will soon be off the show. Peter is so happy to have gotten accepted into beauty school that he jumps around high fiving people and then laughs as he denies a guy. Even when Peter is happy he still doesn't fail to be a dick to someone. Peter needs some money to pay for college since his dad lost all his money in the stock market and hasn't been involved in Peter's life for three years. Peter plans to get a job but the members of Studz say he never sticks to anything. Peter replies that he stuck to his band until they all kicked him out. Awkward! Let's go to credits.

Peter types up a resume in which he mentions he has blue eyes and a suspended license. Peter does not know how to get a job because up until now he made his money by playing off his divorced parents and blackmailing girls he videotaped naked. Peter asks for a job at the Dot. Spinner does not hire him but allows him to help him get coffee beans from upstairs for no money. Peter cannot turn down Spinner's request.

There is an upstairs to the Dot. Peter wants to use the space to create a club for people under 21 to come and see rocking bands. It will be called Above the Dot and it will be glorious. Spinner runs this by the Middle Eastern guy who owns the Dot but is never around. He allows a club, but says he will cut off their heads if there is any funny business. He is serious. He applies Islamic law to his business dealings. That is why Spinner has to hide Holly J in a bathroom stall when he comes by.

In English class, Clare writes a story about her life, but Kwan does not think she did a good job because she did not have a compelling story. Of course she did not. Kids in the beginning of high school don't have any exciting stories to tell, unless it's something about getting molested by their step-dad. Screw the B plot, I'm done with it.

Above the Dot is a success its first night. Studz Starship performs with Jane as lead singer. Peter longs for the days of Studz Airplane but enjoys being bartender for an underage club because it is not very demanding work. That girl who gave him drugs in the season opener pops by.

There are people doing drugs on the couch so Peter tells them that only dopes smoke dope and if they are cool, they will stay in school. The kids retort that a friend with weed is a friend indeed and if they have to stop the drug use, then they will tell other people that this place is lame. Peter is scared of losing business so he lets them hang around. Peter shouldn't worry about losing business. No one is going care about the opinions of teenagers who never share their weed with anyone else.

Above the Dot made an $18 profit on its first night. It should have been a lot larger, but Spinner expensed $1500 worth of spray cheese and ate it all himself. A man who claims to be from the Mounties Anti-Drug Task Force comes by and says he is investigating kids doing drugs in the building. I don't think he looked like a Mountie, I think he was just some guy who heard about the place and wanted to see if he could buy some weed.

The next night is even bigger. People heard Spinner was going to be there, so they lined up around the block to get in. The new Guns N Roses play to a sold out crowd of 15 year olds.

That girl who got Peter hooked on drugs herself does drugs in the girls bathroom so Jane kicks her out. Peter does not believe she was doing drugs even though the first time he saw her a month ago, she gave him drugs. Then she offers him drugs and he is like, "No way man, we shouldn't do drugs. Instead, we should do hugs." The girl calls him a fag and then leaves.

Since Peter kicked the drug addition he had for three days and rejected narcotics, Studz Starship lets him be co-lead singer in their new band: Studz Time Machine. Of course, it will suck. Peter has now learned, "I don't need drugs to start me up!"

Rating: Poo
This episode was too stupid for single letters.

Does It Go There? It Should Go Away
Fuck this show and everyone involved in it.

Who Should Get Kicked In The Face This Week? Peter
They should get rid of Peter Stone and bring in Peter Griffin. There are like, twenty shows on Fox right now from the Family Guy people and most of them suck but they are all better than Degrassi. I say we need one set in Canada. It will be a half hour of animated sex acts and it will be wonderful.
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