The Web BtC
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"Why Can't This Be Love" part 1

Season 9 Episode 15
American airdate: April 2nd, 2010

Boycott the Caf name: "Dick in the Dirt"
Important characters: Sav, Anya, Sav's wife
Issue of the Week: The effects of arranged marriage on the prom

The episode begins with Anya asking Sav to the formal dance. She just doesn't ask though, she has a confetti cannon set up in Sav's locker as well as helium balloons. She must have spent a lot of money on the get up. It's a good thing Sav said yes or else Anys's deposit on the confetti cannon would be all for not.

Anya wants to have the pictures for the formal taken at Sav's house. Trouble is Sav never told his parents he got back together with Anya, and if Anya finds out he never told them she will be mad for some reason. Uh oh! Looks like Degrassi just turned into a TGIF sitcom. Sav's going to try to solve this problem by having Webster distract his parent's with a fake dinner party at a fancy country club to get them out of the house while he takes the pictures only for it all to go awry when his nosey neighbor comes over to borrow a lawn mower and blackmails him.

Webster just found out what the Rodney King trial was all about, so he has decided to steal a TV in retaliation. Sav runs into the hall and they reiterate Sav's problem with Anya so any viewers who missed the cold opening will still know what the plot is going to be. Sav explains that his parents are anti-girlfriend, which is why he is keeping Anya a secret. Actually his parents just assume he is gay (who can blame them?) and think Anya is his beard. They just want their son to be happy with who he is.

Then Sav's Bunsen burner explodes.

Johnny asks Alli to go to formal and Alli tells Johnny to fuck off. She is wearing her Mr. T imitation feather earrings so you know she is fo serious.

Bruce consoles Johnny, "Hey she wasn't the one, just one of many. Love is not a thing to be forced. Love is like a blossom on a spring carnation. While it is beautiful, it is also fragile. To pick it too early will kill it, pick it too late and it has grown too wild. You have not found love today, but it will come to you. You must have patience, and the gumption to act when the time is right. That is when love shall be yours. "

Bruce the Moose: Scholar.

Sav is trying to get the courage to tell his mother he is committing the horrible crime of dating a girl while in high school. He decides to have Anya pretend to be his mother so he can figure out how to reveal that he is dating Anya. "Do we have to role-play every time you have a crisis?" Anya asks. She prefers to role-play when he isn't having a crisis. She has a level 9 half-orc fighter just gathering dust.

Sav mentions the spring formal to his mom and that he is going with Peter and Webster. Told you she thinks he's gay.

At the local pool hall, Bruce explains that he thinks Johnny should go out with the waitress. I don't know what the pool hall is called but I'm going to assume it's actually the back room of The Dot. People don't hang out anyplace other than The Dot right? So it must be The Dot. Plus one time Spinner was there. Thus it is the backroom of The Dot. Case Closed!

Bruce calls the waitress over, tells her Johnny thinks she is hot and asks for her number for Johnny. Bruce is talking more so far this episode then he ever has before. Usually he says three lines, grunts, and then punches a girl. Bruce is finally developing into a real character.

Sav doesn't want to disappoint Anya, but he can't confront his parents, so he is going to do the next best thing, murder her in a botanical garden and bury the body underneath the Acer criminate.

Sav chickens out when the roofies fail to take effect and goes to plan B, suggesting they have the pictures taken here.

It would appear that the economics class is renting tuxedoes. These guys are pretty good, all my economics class ever did was put on middle school dances and do word finds.

There is a montage of the guys trying on tuxedoes, but there is no changing room because it is a classroom so it must have gotten awkward when they had to put on the pants and girls could see them from the hall because the door is open. Also Peter doesn't have an undershirt so he is trying the tuxedo tops on without anything between the fabric and his skin which makes all the ones he does not rent gross and sweaty. Thanks for ruining everybody else's prom Peter.

It would appear that while Sav got to go to school today Alli had to stay home polishing silver. It's not like a girl needs an education anyways, unless she is being educated in silver polishing. Besides Sav didn't actually go to class, he just tried on tuxedos for seven hours.

Sav's mother runs into the room and announces that Sav's arranged marriage wife and her family are coming to visit on the day of the spring formal. Not only that, but Sav's mother expects him to take her with him. See! I told you this was going to turn into a TGIF sitcom. Cory took two girls to the spring formal every year of high school and twice in 8th grade.

Johnny isn't talking to Bruce because Bruce cost him a chance with the waitress. Bruce points out that she is out of his league, even though he insisted Johnny hit on her, and also Johnny is talking to him.

Bruce the Moose: Master of wit

Sav explains to Peter that he has to marry within his culture, and there are so few Muslims in Canada that pre-arranged marriage is the only way this will work. He is either marrying Muslim Girl or Hazel.

Always grasping the importance of a situation Peter asks if she is hot.

"I don't know, the last time I saw her she was ten. "

"Yeah, but was she hot? Snootchie Bootchie!"

So anyways, Peter is going to take Sav's future wife to the formal so that Sav doesn't have to let Anya know that his parents still expect him to marry some stranger because she happens to have a similar skin tone as him. Peter doesn't have a date anyways, so you wouldn't think this would be a problem, but Peter says Sav owes him big. Peter is going to cash in this favor when he takes naked pictures of Sav's future wife.

In an attempt to save his manhood Johnny hits on the waitress. Poorly hits on her I may add. If this was Spinner hitting a waitress, he would walk up to her and say "My name is Spinner, I'm here to bone you" and they would have sex on a pool table while everybody else in the room cheered. Instead, Johnny helps her fold napkins while she insults his friends.

Johnny asks waitress to the spring formal and gets rejected hardcore. She finds the entire idea of going to a high school dance comical and doesn't try to spare Johnny's feelings. Then Bruce comes in acting like Johnny is cheating on him. Come on Johnny, just take Bruce. Bruce has been acting like a jealous girlfriend this entire episode, might as well make it official.

The scene ends with Bruce running away crying.

That night Sav meets his future wife again. Nobody can deny the chemistry they have as they romantically shake hands. Her name is Farrah and Sav is attracted to her mahogany eyes, delicate figure and how she isn't allowed to leave the house without a male escort.

During dinner, Sav tells his future in-laws his that post-high school plans are to tour the world with a band. Realizing he will not impress them with this answer, he adds that he will do this after getting a music PhD. Frankly, I still wouldn't be impressed. That music PhD will only make Sav the most educated part time substitute band teacher in the city.

Post-dinner, Farrah's parents are going to show a slideshow of their trip to Newfoundland. Wow, if there was ever a time suicide would be acceptable it's when somebody is going to show you a slideshow of their trip to Newfoundland.

Sav arranges everything with Farrah to make the dance go smoothly. She understands his plight and, for obvious reasons, would not want to go to the formal with him. Just look at him. Peter is going to video tape her when she goes to the bathroom but at least he has soft skin and a cute baby face.

Anya, in a completely not psychotic clingy fashion, shows up at Sav's house after he doesn't answer her phone calls during dinner with his family. She needs to make sure the panties she is wearing to the dance match Sav's tie. Anya sees Farrah and figures out the entire plan and is upset. Evidently not telling his parents about her doesn't make up for scheming behind their backs. Women, I tell you.

The next day is all about apologizing at Degrassi. First Johnny apologizes to Bruce--I'm completely serious--by giving him a ticket to the formal so they can go together. I can't even make a joke about it because it's so gay I think it might actually be setting up a storyline where they become a couple.

Next, Sav has to apologize to Anya and explains the obvious. Keeping Anya a secret so his parents don't force them to break up doesn't mean he doesn't like her. Why would she even think that? Also, Webster is just hanging out in the background of the scene. Hey, Dalmar Abuzeid, they're trying to film a scene here, get off the stage.

So Anya is feeling okay about Sav liking her more than Farrah. It almost seems like they could end the episode and just come up with a different plot for the actual dance, but no, it has to go on.

Chante Black shows up for no reason other then to gossip to Anya that Sav is going to the formal with Farrah. Chante and Holly J then proceed to put all kinds of doubt into Anya's head about Sav's dedication to her because he is lying to his parents. Parents that are strict enough that they set up an arranged marriage just so he wouldn't accidentally marry a white person. Of course he should have told them about Anya, they would only consider it an insult to their culture and religion. Chante and Holly J don't actually believe what they are saying anyways, they are just evil bitches. All high school girls are evil bitches.

Why Can't This Be A One Part Episode?

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