"In Your Eyes"
Season 9 Episode 18
American airdate: May 14th, 2010
Boycott the Caf name: "Riley Admits He Likes the Cock"
Important characters: Riley, Zane, some other people
Issue of the Week: Gay teenagers who are not Marco
The episode begins with Peter and Riley yelling at each other. This is because:
A: This is the conclusion of a two-parter and I forgot to watch the first episode which ends with them having an argument.
B: Riley is having a gay wet dream. Peter is about to take off his shirt.
C: Brendon Small is the director and he wanted to start at the ending and work backwards.
D: A fourth funny thing.
The answer is of course B: They are in Anger Management class pretending to fight. Riley passes because he does not punch Peter, which is harder then you think. The teacher ends the class saying you need to address the real problem before you can stop being angry. This puts Riley in a bad position because he is angry because he is a homo and he doesn't want everybody to know.
Anya approaches the duo saying she needs to interview Degrassi's most eligible bachelor for the video yearbook. Peter thinks that'd be him, but it's actually Riley. Peter lost the vote because he has taken naked pictures of most of the female students and they aren't cool with that. Riley won because he is totally hunkalicious.
In the interview Riley gives very vague answers. Like when asked what kind of women he likes he says "What kind of women I like? Um, you know, booby women? Yeah, guys like boobs right? I like women with really big boobs and no penises." Anya is upset because she fears the interview might result in her getting a poor grade in Communications. Yikes! That's a tough class if you're graded on the answers somebody else gives.
KC asks Coach Armstrong if he can get some tutoring because he got a 0% on his mock exam. Coach Armstrong tells him to fuck off, he ain't helping no white boys until he gets his 4.04 kilometers and a mule or metric equivalent. Claire offers to help him study instead.
In yoga class (yoga class?) Riley is checking out an Asian man who looks kind of like a woman. He reminds me of a Final Fantasy character. The fact that his name is Zane doesn't help.
After class, Riley reveals to Anya that he likes dudes and she's like "No way!" and spits out the big mouthful of soda she had just drank. If Riley wants to hide how he is gay, he probably shouldn't talk about it until the other students leave the room Anya thinks knowing a gay is very exciting.
Claire can't believe how KC is so far behind in math so she asks what I just typed but in first person. KC tells her it's because his basketball couch diddled his thing. I bet that wasn't the answer Claire was expecting.
Anya finds out somehow that Zane is a gay. She probably tried to have sex with him in a limo and when he said no she decided he was one of the homosexuals. Zane doesn't know Riley is gay but arranges to hang with him at, where else, The Dot. Zane wants to look at Spinner. He can never have it, but a boy can dream.
When you think about it, it's pretty weird. Riley, only a few episodes ago, beat up the gay swim couch and everybody assumed he was literally a gay basher. You would think Zane would be more on his toes, especially with all the street tuffs who hang out in the park next to Gay City ready to jump any young queer who wanders too far from the herd. The flamboyant herd.
Spinner has The Dot packed tighter then a virgin's vagina right before Spinner has sex with it. This doesn't stop Zane from slipping Spinner a fifty to get the window table. Riley doesn't want people to know he is on an unofficial date with Zane and suggests they head somewhere else, using the obvious lie that The Dot's coffee sucks as the excuse. The Dot's coffee uses Spinner's special cream. It's the best tasting coffee ever and works as a fertility treatment.
KC, despite hard core cramming, is still going to fail his math exam. Bubbly blonde girl (I forget her name but that's her in the picture) suggests he get Claire to help him cheat on the test. Of course Claire will help him. He might have broken her heart, but they've been hanging out for a couple of afternoons now, so she will let him cheat off her. Claire is the sort of person who would help somebody cheat. That action fits her characterization. The actions Claire has performed in past episodes lend credence that she would cheat. This is in no way an inaccurate, out of the blue idea that shouldn't work because Claire is an uppity goody-two-shoes Christian.
Riley takes Zane to his tree house. It is large and fancy as far as tree houses go because it was built by Tim "The Toolman" Taylor. While the final product is fine, the construction was full of wacky misadventures let me tell you what. First, he dropped a hammer on his foot. Then, he had marital problems with his wife. Then, he added a motor to something that shouldn't require a motor that large. Shenanigans ahoy.
Zane asks Riley if he is into the butt sexes. Riley admits he is. Gaydar is always right. Then a black guy shows up. He wants them out of there because he considered this his turf and he is about to invite some fly honies up in this hizouse, or maybe he is a security guard. He grabs Riley, who yells "Brooklyn Rage" and pushes the security guard away. Riley then runs for it before he beats the guy up and gets called a racist. The security guard grabs Zane, because if he can't capture the guy who is getting violent with him then he will definitely catch the one who was compiling.
KC asks Claire to help him cheat and she goes, "No way!" and he says, "Ten bucks and a Frisbee?" and she says, "OK." Or something to that effect.
Then she starts throwing out gang signs. West Side 4 lyfe!
Zane is giving Riley the cold shoulder for leaving him with that black dude. With hair like his Zane wouldn't last five seconds in prison. Riley says he has anger issues and had to get out of there before he went Super Sayian and shot the black dude with some energy beam shit. After the explanation Zane is cool with being abandoned, but only if Riley goes to the LBGT mixer the school is throwing. How many gay students are in Degrassi? Evidently enough to throw a mixer. Riley doesn't want to go since he is trying to keep his gayness a secret. Zane says, "I hope your privacy is worth it" and tries to walk away but gets interrupted by a random battle with a Tonberry.
Claire gets pissed when she finds out that it was bubbly blonde's idea to cheat. Like that really makes a difference? She was thinking perhaps KC would go back to her if she helped him, I guess. Too bad Jenna has bigger boobs and is easily distracted. All KC has to do is give her some bubble wrap and she'll leave him alone for a few hours while he plays Call of Duty.
The next day in class, KC admits to cheating but doesn't sell out Claire. KC is kind of an idiot. It's all going to be OK though, Mrs. Hotass isn't going to punish him. For one thing, he was molested by a teacher she hired but he never sued the school, so they owe him. Secondly, she is lazy and doesn't want to bother filling out the paperwork to suspend him.
Peter is apparently the one putting on the LBGT mixer. Maybe this is an elaborate scheme by him to get videos of girls kissing. Or maybe it's because Peter, for some reason, seems to play a minor role in a lot of people's plots this season. He is always showing up to offer advice or do things that don't really have that big of an effect. The actor must just always be hanging out on set so they throw him into scenes.
Riley goes in under the idea that he will be selling drinks, but instead of selling drinks he goes and talks to Zane. Hey you lazy queer, get back behind the counter! The DJ is nice enough to turn down the music when the two of them start talking so they don't have to shout. The two of them start dancing. Riley is the whitest dancer ever.
KC tells Claire that he thinks that bubbly blonde is the source of his woes because everything bad has happened since he was with her. Claire tells KC to own up to his own problems because he blames everybody else and she doesn't care what has happened to him, it's his own fault. Um…Claire, dude got raped by his basketball couch. That one was kind of not his fault. Cut him some slack, bitch.
The mixer apparently lasted over a day or something because it started before the scene where KC admits to cheating but ends after it. At the very least it was going on during school and everybody skipped. Riley tells Zane that next time, he'll take him to a baseball game. That's right, Riley wants another man date with his bishonen sweetheart.
Then they gay kiss. Oh my! In your eyes baby!
This episode for the most part isn't actually all that bad. The guy who plays Riley is really good at playing an awkward gay teen, and Zane's actor really looks gay. The A plot was by all means well done, as far as Degrassi episodes go. I just can't shake the overall feeling of not caring one bit. I think it's because Riley only appears in episodes directly relating to him being gay so he comes off as one dimensional. Maybe he could do something not gay once in a while, like compete in a soapbox derby, or borrow Connor's hat. If you want to use those ideas let me know Degrassi writers.
As for the B plot, it was mundane, I doubt it will come up again, and once more, I found myself not caring. So KC wanted to cheat, and he did, and then he felt bad--I don't care. Claire was also completely out of character by cheating, although I don't even care about that. Maybe if it were better written I could have gotten behind the plot, but on the other hand I have half a season of Homicide just sitting on my computer waiting to be watched, so I guess if I want to watch something well written I can watch that instead of bullshit about teenagers.
Does It Go There?
Gay kisses stopped going there sometime in season 4.