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The Web BtC

"The Curse of Degrassi"

Season 8 Halloween Special
Canadian airdate: October 26th, 2008

Boycott the Caf name: none
Important characters: Spinner, Holly J, Jane, Rick's dead ghost, various unimportant people
Issue of the Week: Rick's dead ghost

When Billie asked me to review the Degrassi Halloween special I told her to go to hell. Then a few months later I lost a spectacular game of chance to Billie and as a consequence she is making me do this review. I'm not angry, it's just the luck of a cards, or in this case Star Wars collectable playing cards. (Mother fucker had Yodas over Han Solos)

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The special starts with Holly J running through the darkened halls of Degrassi screaming for help. Nobody likes Holly J enough to come to her aid. Holly J takes refuge in a classroom and yells that she is armed. She then picks up the nearest viable weapon, a trombone, and is ready to beat her pursuer. Hey Holly J you can beat off my tromboner anytime. And now I'm going back to jail.

Holly J thinks that the person who chased her is gone and decides the best course of action is to taunt the murderer/possible rapist, saying he better run. This is a horror movie so you know she is going to die. The shadowy figure appears behind her. Holly J slowly turns around and says "I know you, you're Rick Murray."

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Seriously? Rick is back? First of all I come up with this idea like three years ago. I'll be waiting for my check Degrassi producers. Secondly when I found out about this on the forums I assumed it was a joke and made this official statement

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So yeah, you waited until every unfunny person on the internet (me included) made a joke about Rick's ghost coming back. You could have at least had Terri show up so that something would make sense. Why is Rick getting revenge on people who didn't exist until two years after he died? Spinner and Webster are like the only people who were even there when it happened.

Back to the show, Rick says Holly J will help him get what he wants right before grabbing her. Looks like he is a rapist.

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In the gym various members of the cast are setting up a Halloween dance completely oblivious to the fact that their friend acquaintance is being brutally raped and or murdered or possessed. They just think she is hiding from having to set up the dance. That's the sort of thing Holly J would do so you can't blame them. Derek says Holly J is probably in the bathroom tending her ponytail, Sav then yells "Yeah she's a ponytail freak" Anya takes offense to this. I don't understand why. Is that suppose to be some sort of innuendo?

I'm not sure what is up with the costumes. They aren't dressed like normal people and it's Halloween so I assume they are in costume. Derek looks like the guy from Green Day and Webster I think is Samuel L Jackson from Pulp Fiction, so I would say they are in costumes but the girls are just in fancy dresses. Maybe they are going as that Wiccan girl that lived in my dorm who always wore a dress like that and had a boyfriend that was a 32 year old freshmen.

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Holly J is possessed by Rick's ghost. You can tell because she took her hair out of the ponytail and lights are flickering. Derek comes by and says Holly J looks like fried crap and calls her a lazy princess. Holly J/Rick responds by saying "You're the princess." Take that Derek! Derek keeps making fun of Holly J which causes her to put on black contact lenses and choke slam Derek. Good riddance, he had it coming. Oh and Holly J says to call her Rick, so we'll be doing that.

In the gym Anya asks where Sav is. Webster says he went to get her some "My girlfriend is so annoying stickers" to add to her collection. Everybody in this episode is being a huge douche. Webster makes a comment about being jaded due to a girl breaking his heart. I'm not sure what that's about. Did Anya decline to date him or something? I haven't been paying attention nor do I care about Anya.

Jane tells Webster to take a chill pill because she doesn't want any bad mojo to ruin her night with Spinner. She then takes a phone call. Here's a transcript of what is said:

"First I'm going to sneak up on you and kiss your neck. Then I'm going to say dirty things to you in Swedish."

Are you aroused? You should be because its Spinner saying those sexy, sexy things.

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Spinner says he isn't in the mood to go to a dance because it's the day Rick went crazy and got himself killed by Sean. He also is probably pretty worked out after coming up with The Dot's new gourmet coffee menu. Jane is angry that Spinner doesn't want to go to a lame high school dance and rudely tells Spinner she will see him tomorrow. I guess Spinner should get over the fact that he indirectly got his best friend paralyzed and caused another person to die. Its not like that's traumatic to a teenager or something. He needs to stop moping.

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After hanging up on Spinner Jane says to Mia "Look at what he does to me," while crying a little. Fuck you Jane, Spinner doesn't want to go to a dance because it's the anniversary where he killed one person and paralyzed another. You know, the event that got him expelled and made him graduate like three years after he was suppose to. The event that ruined his life. Plus Spinner is probably too old to be allowed admission to a school dance. He's like 22 at this point.

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In the rafters above the stage Moose and Johnny have a bucket of pig's blood that they are going to dump on the Harvest Queen. Good idea, that worked out well in Carrie. They talk about how sweet its going to be when they dump the blood on a random girl neither one of them holds a grudge against for awhile. Then Moose says he loves Johnny. Then it gets reeeeaaalllllyyyyy awkward.

At The Dot Spinner is considering what he should do when he gets this text

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He assumes it is Jane and responds with a sexy Spinner text. Then he gets this

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Uh oh that's not Jane at all! What is going on? Do you find out what really happened to Liberty's baby? No we don't because its Rick sending the texts. The next text says so. Then Rick calls, although Spinner assumes it is a joke because Rick sounds like Holly J.

Then Rick's actual voice cuts in and he makes some threats. Man this train is on a one way track to Creepy Town USA. Population YOU!

Anya goes looking for Sav in the utility closet. Sav jumps out wearing a scary mask. Anya is not amused. Sav was sitting their for 20 minutes waiting for her to wander into the closet too. Sucks for him I guess. Anya then asks Sav to make out, which is good for him. Who doesn't want to make out? Holly J shows up because Rick was a perv who watched people make out. Rick says that he has never liked naughty girls like Anya, because when I think naughty girl I think Anya, not the pregnant chick or like every other girl on the cast. Anya says Holly J is disliked because she never keeps her mouth shut. So Rick J makes Sav's and Anya's mouths disappear. He must have also done something to their lungs because they both suffocate despite the fact that you can breath through your nose. Maybe they had really bad colds.

Oh Rick also says Sav must have been at a disavantage. Frankly I would expect Rick to be more clever.

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Rick enters the gym where Mia, Webster, and Jane berate her for not helping set things up even though several other people who are suppose to be helping are off someplace making out or being dead or who knows what! They could even be hanging out on the roof of the school!

Jane thinks something is wrong with Holly J because she looks like a "ref headed wookie" although I'm not sure why. That's a guaranteed way to win the costume contest. Rick goes on stage where he recognizes it as the same stage used during the Whack Yo Brain Foo (Presented by Mr. T) game show. He then starts reciting the questions that were asked and then the answers from the lightening round. Webster says that Holly J is being possessed by Rick's ghost. Even with the weirdness going on that's a pretty bold statement to make. Its not like they have any proof other than Holly J is acting like a nut.

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Moose and Johnny decide to pour the blood on Holly J cause it'll be funny and also they are tired of sitting in the rafters. Holly J stops the blood in mid air using some awesome Are You Afraid of the Dark caliber special effects. She yells at Webster because he was in the audience laughing during the original Whack Yo Brain event. Webster's defense is that everybody laughed and you can't blame an individual for a group's behavior. Rick disagrees, showers Webster, Jane and Mia in blood and then murders Webster by making him float in the air. Johnny and Moose are very confused right now.

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Rick teleports to the cat walk where Moose says he doesn't care if she's a girl he will kick her ass. He must think Holly J wants to play football. Rick uses his powers to give the camera operator Parkinson's. Johnny and Moose fall but only because they're both drunk as hell.

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Mia and Jane hide out in the library, the one place Rick would never look! Mia wants to run for it but Jane says they tried four different doors and none of them worked so Rick must not want them to leave. They should just offer to sleep with him. Rick was a lonely desperate nerd and would definitely accept the offer plus he is possessing a girl so it would be supah hot.

Since they are about to die Mia tells Jane she misses her as a friend. She then says the night she got pregnant she and Lucas were in Jane's bed. Now that's 100% intense. Jane is upset and asks why they used her bed. It was because Lucas's room was messy and smelled like cheese. You know if every episode was like this conversation then Degrassi would be a great show.

Holly J shows up for help, no longer possessed although Jane thinks it's a trick because Holly J is asking for help. Holly J explains that Rick's ghost possessed her because she found his glasses in her locker, also he doesn't realize he is a ghost. She then acts like she is upset about killing various people, saying she couldn't help herself because they were picking on her. I think that Rick gave her the magic powers but Holly J killed them of her on volition. She is a cold hearted biznitch.

Jane comes up with the plan to get Rick's glasses from where Holly J left them in the gym, get them out of the school and this will free Rick's soul. Jane also tells Holly J that killing Moose and Johnny is no big deal. Jane is pretty cold hearted herself.

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The sign says "I've been waiting for you Spinner." Haven't we all.

Degrassi assumed we forgot Spinner's motivation since the last time we saw him three minutes ago so he establishes it all again in the form of questions he is asking nobody in particular. Degrassi producers don't think highly of the audience‘s retention abilities. Spinner doesn't notice the threatening sign but decides his decision to come to the school was the right one when he sees that it is glowing and filled with electricity.

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On the cat walk above the gym Holly J threatens to kill Mia with magic. I knew it was her all along! Jane has the brilliant idea of getting the glasses out of the school by picking them up, rather then doing something that won't get her possessed like sliding them around with her foot or using one of those extending claw things old people use to get cans off of high shelves.

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Jane/Rick is upset by Holly J and Mia's fighting, or maybe just because Holly J keeps calling Mia a whore. Rick was the kind of person who would defend the honor of a girl he barely knew in hopes of being able to mack on her and maybe smash her head against some concrete. Rick starts making the cat walk shake again. Lame. You just used that death Rick, you need to be more creative if you're going to be a horror movie villain. Jason didn't machete people every time, sometimes he used an ax or maybe a shovel. Rick says that Holly J and Mia haven't changed and that people never change. This would be a powerful scene if it contained people who had bullied Rick, or even gone to Degrassi while he was alive.

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Then Spinner starts telling Rick that murder is not the answer. Wait what? The last we saw Spinner he was outside of the school with only a vague awareness that something supernatural was going on. Why is he on the cat walk all of a sudden? There is only one answer: teleportation.

Spinner apologizes for the bullying. This makes Rick realize he isn't alive. Rick apologizes for shooting Jimmy, although he should really apologize to Jimmy for that, and stops possessing Jane. Then just for fun Rick knocks Holly J and Mia off the scaffold. Oh that Rick, what a trickster.

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Then everybody is on stage alive. I thought they were about to take a bow and declare this Degrassi special over. That would have saved me from another minute of reviewing. The characters are all confused and don't remember anything that happened in the last half hour. Holly J says the dance has been cancelled because it wouldn't be right to party on the day Rick died. Everybody goes home, probably to play Super Nintendo. That's what I would do if I were them. Holly J has Rick's glasses, she goes to return them to her locker when Rick suddenly grabs her arm. Its raping time baby!

And now I'm done reviewing this fucking episode, which was titled "The Curse of Degrassi."

Rating: D
Originally I was going to give it a higher rating since a lot of the dialoge is actually funny. It is only funny because it is making fun of Degrassi's stupidity but it's still funny. Then it took me about three weeks to muster up the energy to finish the review. It can't be that good if it took me three weeks to watch one TV show.

Does It Go There: Not a chance