The Web BtC

The Mini Web Episodes - Season 2

As if the first round of two minute online mini episodes weren't bad enough, the Degrassi crew has made a second batch. I don't know why, but I think it has to do with my theory that no one involved with the show cares anymore. Not that any of them have cared since day one, but then again, the internet wasn't around when Degrassi: The Next Generation first aired.

"Sean in Prison"

Boycott the Caf name: "Sean in Prison"
Important characters: Sean

Mini 201

Sean hangs out in prison. Sean spends the time by writing in his journal and shooting one into a sock thanks to his photo of Emma. It seems alright since he gets a cell to himself. But then at night, some other guys make plans to rape him in the shower.

Rating: F
Does It Go There? No

I can think of about a billion ways that this mini could be better. One, you could have Sean lead a gang of fellow prisoners in a scheme to bust out of jail by digging through their cells. An even better idea would be to have the jail be a musical, ala Jail House Rock, and have Sean sing and dance. That would be wicked narly.

"Two's Company"

Boycott the Caf name: "Two's Company"
Important characters: Manny, Snake

Mini 202

Manny accidentally walks in on Mr. Simpson on the toilet and sees his vagina.

Rating: F
Does It Go There? No

"Dating 4 Dudes"

Boycott the Caf name: "A Toby Isaacs Joint"
Important characters: Webster, Derek

Mini 203

Webster and that other kid hit on girls with no success, so they decide to spoon each other in the locker room.

Rating: D
Does It Go There? No

This gets slightly better than a F because it's a Toby Isaacs Joint.

"Be Aware of Heather Sinclare"

Boycott the Caf name: "Heather Sinclare"
Important characters: Heather Sinclare

Mini 204

We see things through the eyes of Heather Sinclair.

Rating: F
Intensity Level: 0% Intense

No one find the Heather Sinclare thing amusing, Degrassi producers. But this mini does have certain merits because it appears that Heather Sinclare is the daughter of the boss from the first season of The Drew Carey Show.

"Diary of Jay Hogart"

Boycott the Caf name: "Jay is British"
Important characters: Jay

Mini 205

It turns out that Jay is Mary Poppins. He is a nanny and speaks with a British accent and everything.

Rating: A
Does It Go There? Yes

I hope this is the real Jay and the whole tough, high school dropout, candy thief thing is just an act. British Jay still likes chocolate bars, though.

"Toby Dynamite"

Boycott the Caf name: "Napoleon Dynamite Parody"
Important characters: Toby

Mini 206

Toby does that dance scene from Napoleon Dynamite.

Rating: F
Intensity Level: 0% Intense

I have nothing to add, so I'm going to quote Johnny on this:

The movie was good, but when I saw it I hadn't experienced people quoting it like a bunch of mother fuckers.

"Adam Lazzara Married My Mom"

Boycott the Caf name: "Taking Back Sunday are Spending Too Much Time on the Set"
Important characters: Spike, Emma, Liberty

Mini 207

Since Spike wants to continue her streak of not being into real men, she marries the lead singer from Taking Back Sunday. It plays out like a sitcom parody, at least a parody of what I assume sitcoms must be like in Canada. I'm not sure there has ever been an American sitcom that was structured the way this parody goes.

The rest of the band come over and they all eat candy lased with LSD, just like that one episode of The Brady Bunch.

Rating: F
Does It Go There? No

The lead singer from the band has way prettier hair than Spike.

"Bring It On"

Boycott the Caf name: "Cheerleading"
Important characters: Manny, Darcy

Mini 208

Manny and Darcy audition boys for cheerleading. It's really stupid, but we get to see Peter in a girl's cheerleading outfit, which is pretty hot.

Rating: F
Does It Go There? No

Oh shit, I did not say that Peter in a cheerleading outfit was hot. Shit, I did. If only I knew how to delete something I typed.

"Jimmy Walks"

Boycott the Caf name: "Jimmy Dreams About Walking"
Important characters: Jimmy, Spinner, Ashley

Mini 209

Jimmy daydreams that he was able to walk and saved Ashley from slipping on a banana peal. In the real world, he can't walk but he did save Spinner's sandwich, which is just as important, if not more so.

Rating: B
Does It Go There? Somewhat

Hey, it has Spinner, so it can't be that bad.

"Lost in Degrassi"

Boycott the Caf name: "Lost Parody"
Important characters: Paige, Marco

Mini 210

Paige, Marco, and possibly Ellie, got high on mushrooms last night and somehow locked themselves in the school. They start hallucinating that Spinner, Jimmy, Alex and Ashley locked them there. It's obviously an hallucination because they never talk to Ashley anymore.

Rating: F
Does It Go There? No

I have never seen the show Lost so I'm not sure how accurate the parody is. I'll just assume Lost is also a high school soap opera.

"24 Hours on the Couch"

Boycott the Caf name: "24 Parody"
Important characters: Paige, Marco

Mini 211

Paige and Marco plan to go out and party Friday so they can end the night drenched in semen. But they are tired, so they spend all weekend on the couch. It's edited like the show 24, but without all the torture. Canada doesn't have a problem with terrorism, so this is as interesting as they could possibly make a 24 parody.

Rating: F
Does It Go There? No

I'm glad I'm not the only one who spends his weekends watching TV.

"His Ears are Burning"

Boycott the Caf name: "They Mean Spinner's Ears"
Important characters: Spinner, Manny, Darcy

Mini 212

Spinner listens in while Darcy and Manny discuss how hot Spinner makes them and then they make plans to put on a shower show for him.

Rating: D-
Does It Go There? No

They should have shown Darcy and Manny rubbing each other in the shower instead of only giving us the conversation that leads up to it. What a waste.

"Dating 4 Dudes 2"

Boycott the Caf name: "This Mini is Gayer than Most"
Important characters: Webster, Derek, Marco

Mini 213

Webster and Derek make plans to rape Paige and Ellie, but Marco is there with a hokey stick, so they decide to all have a three way instead. The hockey stick will be used in bed.

Rating: F
Does It Go There? No

I reject any assertion that Marco is a "Degrassi Hottie." However, Toby was the one who edited this thing, so that's merely his opinion.

"I Won't Forget"

Boycott the Caf name: "It's a GHOST!"
Important characters: JT, Liberty

Mini 214

JT's ghost comes back from Hell and visits Liberty in bed.

Rating: F
Does It Go There? No

JT sucks as a ghost. He doesn't even try to haunt Liberty or anything. He said he'll visit her again. I bet JT doesn't even want to visit Liberty. He figures the best part of being dead is being free from her (he may be in Hell, but at least Liberty isn't around) but Satan is making him do it as part of JT's eternal punishment.

Also, I went online and found that many girls were crying over this mini. I can understand why, we had to look at Liberty for two whole minutes straight.

"De View"

Boycott the Caf name: "View Parody"
Important characters: Emma, Liberty, Paige, Darcy

Mini 215

Degrassi makes fun of what a stupid and inane waste of airwaves The View is. They also talk about Emma's nipples.

Rating: A
Does It Go There? Yeah, a little

"Dating 4 Dudes 3"

Boycott the Caf name: "Not Another One, Jesus Christ"
Important characters: Webster, Derek

Mini 216

Webster and Derek finally realize that they are dirty and smell like shit. They concoct a new deodorant to help them pick up the ladies, but that doesn't work because there idea of deodorant to to spray themselves with vinegar mixed with cat piss. They then go in the shower room to suck each other dicks.

Rating: F
Does It Go There? No

It's nice that they at least finally realized how dirty they each are. But if the show doesn't eventually make these two gay lovers, then the producers do not understand their own characters.

"I'm a Degrassi, I'm an Instant Star"

Boycott the Caf name: "Mac Ad Parody"
Important characters: Emma, Some other girl

Mini 217

It's like those Mac ads, but comparing Degrassi to a show I have never heard of before.

Rating: F
Does It Go There? No


Boycott the Caf name: "The Future"
Important characters: Paige, Alex, Jimmy, Spinner

Mini 218

It's 2017 and the Degrassi kids have their reunion. None of them have aged a day. Spinner has some gray hair, but I think he just dyed it that way because he is immortal and wanted to keep that a secret.

Anyway, Spinner and Jimmy's t-shirt store has made them billionaires. They had to fire Paige as manager because she spent all day thinking about Spinner's cock instead of working. That is why they replaced her with Alex. As a lesbian, Alex will be able to keep from thinking about Spinner's cock until she got off work.

Also, Paige has been married and divorced a few times because she has been unable to find a man that measures up to Spinner, in all the ways you can imagine.

Also, Jimmy can walk again. Either they can cure paralysis in 2017 or he is so rich he just bought someone else's legs.

Rating: A
Does It Go There? Yes

I think it was a given that Spinner will be a billionaire in ten years. Hell, Jimmy and Alex become rich merely by riding his coattails.

"Roomate Code of Conduct"

Boycott the Caf name: "Breakfast"
Important characters: Paige, Ellie

Mini 219

Over a continental breakfast, Ellie gives Paige permission to be fuck buddies with Editor guy.

Rating: F
Does It Go There? No

I think Ellie and Paige bought their bathrobes together. They probably got one of those couple sets to save money and then flipped a coin to see who would be forced to take the guy's robe. The cashier no doubt assumed they were a lesbian couple, which would be half correct. Ellie has been trying to act reasonably feminine these past few years, so she would have wanted the pink robe instead of dying the blue one black.