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Degrassi Mailbag #5

Date: 9/05/2005
From: "Jesse"
Subject: N/A

Hey,
You guys are some funny motherfuckers man... Found your site about a month ago while looking for good Degrassi sites (Very rare). I found it very curious to find a site not created by overzealous 14 year olds ranting about Craig's cuteness (honestly, I was baffled by the amount of times that came up. Violent mental illness must be a big turn on these days), but rather by two young American males. I share your pain on that note as well; I myself am out of the closet and am in fact an 18 year old American male who absolutely loves Degrassi for some strange reason I can't quite put my finger on. Maybe just a fond rememberance of high school bullshit. Or a bad sense of taste in drama. Or maybe just an affinity towards young female Canucks.

Yeah, that one.

Still, the show definitely has me hooked now if only for one simple reason; it got me pussy. (Find one other person who can say that) That's the real reason I'm writing this; to share a story how the simple power of Degrassi can get a man some play. Simple scenario. At a party without the N, bitched out loud how I was missing the Degrassi season finale, and some hot little number across the room just goes, "What? You like Degrassi?" A very common question (Like I said, I'm 18, male, and in addition to that, 6'2", muscular, and a metalhead. Not exactly the Degrassi demographic). We talked for a solid hour about Degrassi while slowly getting drunk. I don't really know HOW the in the mighty hell it happened, but we ended up in the host's bedroom, I ended up with a new notch in the belt, and I have Degrassi (and Southern Comfort) to thank for that.

Hope you guys enjoyed that.

So anyway, just wanted to give my thumbs up to you guys for a job well done, looking forward to some updates soon. Keep up the good work.

P.S. The Black Sabbath references in the Candy Bandit article had me fucking dying! Great stuff.

Holy shit. This is by far the greatest email we have ever received. Degrassi got this guy laid. Way to pull a Spinner there, Jesse. Gavin Mason would be proud of you.

Date: 9/26/2005
From: "Aidan L"
Subject: Gavin's name

Well, I did some research regarding Spinner's nickname and I was wondering if you could post it under his character biography.

The name Spinner originated for Gavin when he was sexing up a fine lady. He was going at her doggy style, but this soon got old. Jimmy was watching and taking notes, and yelled "Spin her!" Spinner then proceeded to turn her around and bang her to death. Soon after, the name "Spin-her" stuck with Gavin. Eventually though, his friends got tired of calling him two separate words, because none of them are as intelligent as Gavin, so they shortened the nickname to "Spinner".

I hope you appreciate my efforts. I am a huge fan.

P.S. How was Paige?

This might be the second coolest email ever received, actually third, I guess, after the one that gave us evidence Jimmy is not really paralyzed. Either way this is still really awesome Aidan. This is the kind of research that earns most people a Phd.

And Paige was super freaky.

Date: 8/20/2005
From: courtney c
Subject: hey

hey Degrassi....i love your show, i have never missed a episode! i watch it everynight...tell everyone from the cast i said hi and that they are all awsome. i would love to be on the show but i dont live in toronto canda i live in illinois much love <3 xo Courtney

Are you sure you aren't really in Alabama or Arkansas and are just confused because you can't read a map? I'm just throwing this out there, because I assumed Illinois had a better education system than you demonstrate. For the hundredth fucking time, this website is not affiliated at all with the show. We do not have anything to do with the production of Degrassi.

Date: 8/20/2005
From: ChEcKeRChYcK
Subject: hey

Yeah, I just saw your site and you are hilarious. Keep up the site, because i agree with every single thing you say. especailly about liberty and umm the fat chick. I forgot her name because i couldnt care less about her. so anyway, keep up the site.

Fat chick's name is Terri McBlubber.

Date: 8/21/2005
From: "A. Hoffer"
Subject: Dude, You Guys Kick Ass!

And you are right. Spinner is a sex god.

Love,

Spinner's Sex Slave

Spinner's Sex Slave would be the best job ever. You'd get paid in semen.

Date: 8/27/2005
From: NyCiTyGuRl117
Subject: this is the best website ever

i just read all of the fan mail on your site and i HAD to write to u -- a while ago i ordered the first two seasons of degrassi on DVD and i was so mad because there was so much stuff in those episodes that they didnt show on tv in america which is the stupidest thing ive ever heard--anyway i read that billy has the first two seasons on DVD too and i was wondering if u knew wen the next season is coming out cuz i m dieing to c When Accidents Happen this is the coolest website ever!!! but i was wondering...WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO SEAN AND SPINNER?????? they were like the two best characters on the show and theyre never on it n e more i mean the writers of degrassi can take the time to write liberty into the script but they cant get sean bak into the show i mean come on i no he went bak to liv with his parents but he was there for the entire season -- and wat about spinner? just because he put rick in his place doesnt mean that that stupid ugly ass new principal can expel him!! and wat the hell is with that chester kid?? how could manny possibly see n e thing in him and almost choose him over spinner?? he has huge ugly moles all over his face for god's sake!! o and when r they gunna kill ashley off? she should totally kill herself i mean i hated her b4 she went goth and i hate her even more now and it kills me that she and craig got bak together-- and then she wants space from craig...who in their right mind would ever want space from craig?? even if he is bipolar? and thank god theyre getting rid of caitlin because if i had to look at that hairy mole on her chin for another season i dont no wat i would do--and JT wasnt even in the fifth season at all --ok i no hes a geek but hes getting better--well that is if u ignore the whole liberty thing i mean u hav to giv him props he went out with manny --i dont no why everyone likes jimmy so much ok i admit i cried in the episode where he got shot but that was mainly cuz of seans face wen he killed rick--n e way i hate jimmy how n e 1 could ever go out with ashley or be friends with terri and still be popular i dont no-- and no wonder why toby and ashley are related because no two people could possibly be so annoying without coming from the same family-- Who m i forgetting...O! emma idk y the hell sean ever went out with her or ellie for that matter even though i like ellie she and sean should NOT be together but bak to emma thank god she got braces!! i could not stand looking and that gap between her teeth for another season and wat is her obsession with the environment she almost got herself raped over it in the first season because she thought she finally found another freak like her on the internet but i guess it makes sense that she and chris hook up because they are both freaks. and it also makes sense y chris gets w/ liberty but y n e 1 would hook up w/ her escapes me but n e way and wat is with kendra-- how could the N make her spin's sister? she does not deserve that honor!! i also like that girl alex but i disagree w/ her about that whole jay thing i mean yea he gave her gonorrhea and he cheated on her but how could n e 1 dump jay? o well i luv marco and his gayness too but i cant believe he kissed craig !!! i love craig anywho i luv marco but i hate dylan and his stupid hair that hair looks so much better on spinner and wat is wiith paige and mr oleander hes not even hot!! i mean after seeing sean spin and craig who is but come on matt has no chin bvut he is kinda sweet i guess-- i cant wait till the next season but now that this ones over i hope that the N gets pple from degrassi to go on girls vs. boys again this year cuz the show is kinda suking ass so far this season especially since they got rid pf ryder but n e way i hope they get shane kippel and stacy farber to go on GVB since last season it was jake epstein and lauren collins but whatevs!!

i rele hope u put my email on ur site because it took a lot of time to write but rele cuz i love luv love u guys and ur website rox! and ur rele kool i cant wait to read ur reviews for the 4th season c ya guys u rock

~kelly~

That email is really hard to follow, partly because the invention of paragraphs has yet to reach Kelly's country. That was one huge run on sentence, and while I agree with the statements I could understand, your message reads like a 14 year old girl blabbering about Degrassi on the internet, which I guess you are. At least you didn't assume this was the official Degrassi website, so kudos for that.

Date: 8/28/2005
From: Stnsbry44
Subject: I need some shit

I was wondering if it was possible for you or someone else affiliated with the site to send me the episode Accidents Will Happen via file sharing or whatever. I live in the U.S. so I've never seen it. Also, if you can, try and find the "Degrassi Parody Song" on Ares and download it immediately. One.

No.

Date: 9/2/2005
From: Gina
Subject: :o

Hi, I love your degrassi site, my most definite favorite, it always makes me laugh. Do you know how old Manny was when she started becoming slutty? I thought like she was in 8th grade but an 8th grader in a thong is somewhat disturbing. Thanks. -Gina

Manny became slutty way too young, that's for sure. She didn't act slutty until the third season, though, starting with "U Got the Look." Before that she was just Emma's shadow and tended to not dress like a whore. I think Manny was in grade 9 at that time of that episode, so she became a slut right when she started high school. That's still a very young age to become a slut, but not nearly as young as Paige, who giving head to camp counselors, apparently while still in elementary school.

Date: 9/2/2005
From: thirion.o
Subject: en français c'est mieux

c'est pas mal ton truc sur le web , mais mon anglais n'est pas super... merci de faire un effort linguistique et de le traduire in french a+ olivier bye

I don't know any languages other than American, so I ran this email through Babelfish, and this is what it translated to:

"subject: in French it is better"

"it is not badly your trick on the Web, but my English is not super... thank you to make a linguistic effort and to translate it in french a+ olive-tree bye"

I'm not going to go through the insane amount of effort to translate every page on this site to other languages, especially since I only speak this one, sorry. If I did, you can bet any French version would just be poorly done and unintelligible. Plus even if I had a friend who speaks French, I like to make sure the people I know in real life have no idea I devote so much time to this site.

Date: 9/29/2005
From: "Gourdin.C"
Subject: pour .j.t. ou ryan cooley

.j.t. yorke ou ryan cooley tu est le plus beaux de tout les garçon au monde et le plus charmant au monde et le plus sexi au monde et le plus gentit assi tu a quelle age a tu tyffanie

"j.t. yorke or ryan cooley you is most beautiful of all the boy in the world and most charming in the world and more sexi in the world and more gentit assi you has how old is you tyffanie"
Man, even with Babelfish I still don't know what the hell you are saying. Something about JT being sexy? What the hell? You have a problem. For what it is worth, Ryan Cooley, the cat who plays JT, was born on May 18, 1988.

Hope that helps, Belgium boy.

Date: 9/2/2005
From: Gina
Subject: oOo

"If only The Next Generation would copy the lesbian stuff."

I don't know if you already know this or someone has already told you, but in season five Alex becomes a lesbian.

That IS hot. You had better not be lying about this, or I will ban you from this site and planet Earth.

Date: 9/3/2005
From: alucyfan99
Subject: "Message in a Bottle"

First off, I want to say that your website is so damn hilarious! I love it! But, you should so review "Message in a Bottle." Sean is so bad-ass in that one, and drunk Sean is even funnier than sober Sean! No one else even thought to steale Jimmy's booze and Simpson's expensive wine, but Sean showed both of them that you don't have to be rich and pretentious to chug alcohol...

We love "Message in a Bottle" as well, and I plan to review it at some point. How about when Sean drinks Mr. Simpson's vodka? First off, he did it in plain view of the whole family; the door between the kitchen and dining room was wide open. Second, Sean spills some on his shirt. Hey Sean, it should have been pretty apparent to everyone that you were drinking. Vodka has a strong smell.

Date: 9/03/2005
From: "Samantha M"
Subject: You Rock!
Hey guys,

I'm 20 years old and going to college and must admit I had never had much interest in Degrassi other than calling it the show my 13 year old sister drooled over. A few friends of mine told me they were going to get together and watch degrassi's new season and asked if i wanted to come.

I said yes (probably because i didn't have any other plans for the night) and then realized i knew very little about the show. I began my search for past episode reviews and found two types of reviews: 1) the type that come from the TV guide where it says nothing about what actually happened or 2) the type of review that isn't actually a review, but the script posted.

BUT THEN something magical happened. I stummbled upon your site and fell instantly in love. I sat at work reading your site for the next two days and when it was finally time for the Degrassi marathon i was ready to go with all my infinite knowledge of how much Liberty sucks and how fucking cool Spinner is.

My friends continued to correct me when i told them about what had happened in past episodes, but i simply told them that they didn't know like i did because they had never been to Boycott the Caf. Finally they agreed to come to your site, and watching degrassi has become the happiest times we share because we plot the doom of all the characters we hate, and the return of those we love.

Basically, thanks for making a lame show so much cooler with your reviews! Can't wait until the Season 4 reviews go up.

Keep Writing,
Samantha

That's a cool story. 20 year old college student, you say? Hey maybe we could get together some time and makes some babies.

Date: 9/15/2005
From: beicke
Subject: best site ever...

now i know i'm not he only 29 year old who watches this shit with a fucking passion.

Damn straight Beicke. People that are older than 16 shouldn't be ashamed to watch Degrassi, especially since people our age don't take the show seriously at all. Degrassi fans who are old enough to buy lottery tickets and booze UNITE!

Date: 9/26/2005
From: Lauren R
Subject: Oh, Why Can I Not?

Oh, why can I not have money? Why must I be broke? I would completely pay you for providing me with endless hours of comedy. And:

I'm glad there are so many people out there who enjoy making fun of Degrassi. It shows that some people who watch the show are actually cool, and not screaming 13 year old girls who think that this site produces the show and can put them in touch with Jake Epstein.

I couldn't agree with you more. The show deserves to be made fun of. While I'm a fan, it's definitely laughable most times. Even in the dramatic parts, you make me laugh.

Oh, and the people at the degrassi boards suck ass. They get offended when the show is insulted as if someone was insulting them. It's downright ridiculous.

--Lauren

Fuck Degrassi-Boards. Fuck them up their stupid asses.

Date: 9/4/2005
From: thisauto.da.fe
Subject: My new favorite website.

Now that I've caught your attention, I can inform you that my new favorite website is actually www.ityrkesguiden.nu/yugioh-porn.html ;, but man, yours sure is a close contender!

Really, you have a great website here. But, I'm an American and I will not settle for less than what I want!

WHERE THE HELL ARE THE UPDATES? You need some more episode reviews, because I have yet to see for myself the episode where Ashley chops all her hair off and becomes a brooding goth. That sounds almost pornographic in nature to me, so perhaps the-N didn't air it.

Anywho, I was also SHOCKED to realize that you are males, but really, that just cements my decision to go through with my sex-change operation. Males are obviously so much cooler than females, as proved by your website, and Spinner.

Sincerely,

Pookie McDougal

Males are indeed cooler than females. As for Ashley chopping off her hair, the was no episode where we see her become a goth. She just befriends Ellie in "Karma Chameleon" and starts acting like a goth afterward. Kind of a letdown.

Date: 9/5/2005
From: ryan j
Subject: Hi.

I just wanted to say that you guys are really funny.Yes Liberty is a stupid ugly ass bitch.Spinner is the coolest guy on t.v.And Rick was a degrassi hero.I also post on Degrassi.tv,and people get pissed when i say stuff like that.It's hard....ecspecially when most of the people on there are obsessed with degrassi.Now i love it to,but like the fine people at boycott the caf,i enjoy making fun of the show more than i like trying to have a serious conversation about it.Well anyway i just wanted to say that this is one of my favorite websites and i come here everyday,looking for new reviews,new things in the other section,or news that season 5 will have Spinner get all his friends back by killing Liberty.

-Ryan.

Liberty should die. You know the truth, soul brother.

Date: 9/7/2005
From: "Joyce D"
Subject: hey

OMG ILOVE YOUR SHOW I LIKE PAIGES AND HAZELS PAR THE MOST SPINNER SEAN AND JIMMY ARE SO HOT HAVE THEM ALL EMAIL ME BECAUSE I LOVE THEM SO MUCH AND THANKS FOR MAKING THIS SHOW

Your welcome?

Date: 9/12/2005
From: "Rylea S"
Subject: hey

hey I love degrassi it is so kool I cant wait until the mew season

RYLea

You are very stupid.

Date: 9/15/2005
From: Amos O
Subject: I love the website

This is one of the best websites ever. While most people have fansites related to nothing about the show in any way, except for with lots of crappy pictures, you guys went abovw and beyond that and created one of the best fansites ever. Liberty is a person too, and I don't see why you constanly make fun of her. Who am I kidding, nobody likes Liberty. She is so lame. Anyway, Since Spinner and Sean look alike and are practically twins, do you think that they would have to use the bathroom at the same time all of the time? These are some of the hard- hitting questions that need to be answered.

I love the site, and keep up the good work.

No, that is not a hard hitting question, it is a question that makes little sense. What does being twins have to do with using the bathroom? Forget it. Please do not email me again.

Date: 9/16/2005
From: "Stephen H"
Subject: Thanks for the laughs

Hey,

Stumbled upon your site after looking up Degrassi on Wikipedia. Just wanted to say thanks for the laughs, man. Over the last few days your reviews have kept me laughing out loud, terrific outlook on one of the best shows on tv today. I love it!

Any plans for more reviews? Season 4? Also, is it season 5 or 6 that is starting in October?

Stephen

I'll review more episodes when I have time, dadgumit.

I'm working on the two parter "Venus" right now, actually, it's just taking time because that episode is so fucked up.

Date: 9/19/2005
From: Layla1235909

Subject: Liberty

Hey guys-- big fan of your site. So rumor has it Liberty gets knocked up by J. T. this season. That is intense. What would be more intense is if Emma organized a campaign to force Liberty to have an abortion so we never have to see that child which is undoubtedly the spawn of Satan. When did the writers decide J. T. was lame enough to impregnate Liberty?

The writers were all drunk halfway through season 4, that explains why they made JT and Spinner so lame. But I don't see how JT could get Liberty pregnant, his penis is too small.

Date: 9/24/2005
From: "shay s"
Subject: N/A

i luv ur site i wanna fuck but im a fat girl so i guess that just wouldnt do any wayz i live in canada are skools rnt that stupid but degrassi makes it appear that way oh ya degrassi just aired the premier for the 5th season and manny is the biggest slut you'll ever know she turns a full paris hilton video tape act and emma is now hanging with some1 else a new character they add one new one every episode this might be a little to much information to consume at one time theres a new guy who video tapes manny he might be the next steven speilberg but X rated J.T and liberty are going to be going out J.T bangs her gets her pregnant and she has to keep it what else oh yah ashley is living in england ellie might go out with craig the sex fiend she probably has pent up sexual frustration from dating Marco and spinner light. i think emma goes bac to the head of the candy bandits she probably yearning for his lolly pops manny is trying to bacome an actor but i think shes into the porn scene and shes thinking about plastic surgery

im gonna send u a full script of the 5th season premiere

In that email, Shay actually transcribed the entire season premiere. That was way, way more effort than was even remotely neccasary. I have seen "Venus" already. I download the episodes a day or two after they air in Canada, just so everybody knows.

Here's Shay's transcipt. Dude went through way too much effort, but thanks.

Date: 9/24/2005
From: "shay s"
Subject: just sent u a email

my name is shimafrah i dont think i gave u my name in the last email and to mention u guys fucking rock im still laughing about the candy bandits but then that shows my intallect and maturity u fucking rock and i wanna fucking fuck u guys both at the same timeonly if ur dicks are as long as spinners
luv ya bye

Sadly our dicks measured together aren't even one-tenth of one percent as long as Spinner's.

Date: 9/24/2005
From: "shay s"
Subject: not to be annoying

AMY FUCKIN DIED DAMMIT LET IT GO SHES A SKANK WHO CARES SHE DIES OF INTERNAL ANAL BLEEDING COINCIDING WITH ALCOHOL POISONING AND CAVITIES FOR EATING TO MUCH CANDY

Preach on crazy.

Date: 9/24/2005
From: max.b
Subject: HEIL SPINNER!

Before I read your site I always thought Degrassi was crappy, but after reading your site I went back and started watching it. I found out two things, that it was so-bad-it-was-good and that I couldn't stop orgasming. I want to thank you for starting my Degrassi addiciton.

Also, Shane Kippel doesn't get the recognition he deserves as an actor. Could Brando get a boner that big on cue? Could Robert De Niro think of bringing a watermelon to Emma's house? Could Orson Welles deliver a line like, "All I'm saying is you got two dines, but only one selling fries. And you really got a craving for fries," with the honesty that Shane Kippel can? NO!

Again, thanks for spreading the gospel according to Spinner, thanks to you I have found my (suprisingly Canadian) messiah.

HEIL SPINNER!

Hey, our first German fan. You make a good point about Spinner's acting abilities. He has been overlooked before, but there is a lot of Oscar buzz about his role as Chad the Jock in Todd and the Book of Pure Evil.

Date: 9/25/2005
From: "Brooke P"
Subject: Tao of Degrassi

I just thought that I would let you know that because of your website, I base my day sloey on Spinner's wisdom in the Tao of Degrassi game on www.the-n.com. I started reading the tao's because it was just so much fun making fun of what Liberty said. Go fuck Armstrong and then get killed by him becuase he finds out what a big fag nigger you really are!!! Anyways, then I read your site and saw how awesome Spinner really was, so now i read him wisdom everyday. Oh, and if you could plaese write a review for Shout and How Soon is Now. I LOVE those epeys.

Much Love <3,
Brooke

What does "<3" mean? That pops up in about 10% of the emails we get, mostly in the poorly written ones.

Date: 9/27/2005
From: Jon B
Subject: There IS one episode worse than Holiday

Relax. It's a Liberty episode. I don't need to say anything else.

In all fairness, Liberty's not the worst character on Degrassi. That dubious honor belongs to Nancy from the old Degrassi, upon which Liberty's character is based. Not all the characters were worse than their new versions, mind you. I mean, Caitlin was a lot better than Emma, and Kathleen was a lot better than Terri. Joey was just like Spinner, which makes him 100% awesome right there. It's too bad Rick left before he could outshine Sean.

One thing I hate about the Joey/Caitlin storylines in the next generation is how Caitlin starts acting so crazy for Joey. The old Caitlin would've done that AIDS special in a second. And she wouldn't have been telling Emma to go get raped by a guy she met online.

Your thoughts on the old series are interesting, but I really don't care about the old show. The old show didn't have Spinner.

Date: 9/28/2005
From: Amos O
Subject: Marci being gay... All the time?

Hey, I love your site. One of the best sites out there Keep up the good work.

Why do you think every storyline with Marco in it as to do with him being gay, or something relating back to how gay he is? It might be a big issue, but come on, we don't need to hear about him being gay all the time, and I am sure that faggots are sick of it too

Please respond and tell me what you think. I I like your opinions, mostly becasuse they are true. 100% True, and it goes there

I disliked Marco even before he became the gay kid, and I think he should be cut from the show, not because he is gay, but because he is just an annoying character. His best friend is Ellie, I rest my case.

Date: 9/30/2005
From: "Jane"
Subject: links

There is an official degrassi site that you don't have in your links. it is www.abc.net.au/degrassi and is the australian website. btw, you should have given 'relax' a better grade because spin puts a jock strap on libertys locker, and liberty and armstrong have sex in the laundry.

I'd give it a better grade if it was not for the fact that the episode centered around Liberty. It only got the C- it did, because of how much everyone openly hated Liberty through out the episode, which was rad.

Date: 10/1/2005
From: Amos O
Subject: Stealing

I don't ever think that we learned the lesson that stealing is wrong. Remember when Sean stole Snake's laptop. After he told him, the only thing that happened was that he fixed his car, and that was the end or it. Does that mean that if you promise to fix someone's car that stealing is ok? Becasue I don't know how to fix cars.

Also the Candy Bandits Stole all of that candy and didn't get into trouble, I think the lesson here was bribe the people that saw you stealing candy, and make them join your group, and you won't get caught.

What do you guys think?

Nobody ever got punished for stealing all those DVDs players and candy bars from the school. That's true. And no one else but Spinner and Jay got in trouble for bullying Rick even though everyone did; Alex didn't even get expelled for pouring the paint on Rick. The lesson is there is no god damn justice on Degrassi.

by Billie Green