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Degrassi Mailbag #9

Date: 01/01/2006
From: christina c
Subject: i love emma!!!

this message is for emma. i love emma soooooooooooooooo much she is soooo cool me and her are sooooooooo alike !!! she is my fav charester1!!!imk 13 and i dont whant emma to evr leave the show !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! please dont have emma leave!!!! please!!! make her stay on the show!!!!!! i love her!!!!(p.s please reply emma) i know evrthing about u. ur name is (sorry if i spell it wrong) mariem macdonald, u were born on july 26 1987! u are in boxing,u have almost tried evry sport,u and ur sis have a secrest langege,u almost have about to bedrooms!! ,and i know alot more then that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1oh please reply sincerily christina (ur #1 fan)

Emma doesn't really work here, as we are not affiliated with the show, we just make fun of it. Really we've gotten enough of this sort of emails that there's no reason to even make fun of them anymore. However this one is of interest since it lists a lot of interesting Miriam McDonald information. I never knew that she boxed, or that she was born in 1987. Come to think of it I don't actually know anything about her, sort of a shame I guess, but not really.

Date: 01/02/2006
From: CouchPotato666
Subject: the names taylor

WHAT THE HELL HAPPEND T0 CHESTER?!?!?!?!?!?!?

NOBODY KNOWS HE JUST DISAPEARED!!!!!!!!!!!!

Date: 01/02/2006
From: Andrew W
Subject: [No Subject]

I'm glad that Rick is dead, because he was twisted. Terri hadn't done anything wrong. She was not fat rubish. She didn't deserve to be put in a coma. Rick should have hanged.

Terri not fat? Let me prepare my rebuttal…

Date: 01/02/2006
From: Andrew W
Subject: [No Subject]

Okay. Terri is fat but lots of people are and she is not annoying and there is no excuse for what Rick did to her.

Oh okay, I'm glad to see you've come to your senses.

By the way, she is annoying. She always eats the last piece of pizza, and often sits on cats and crushes them.

Date: 01/03/2006
From: Natalie
Subject: holy liberty

what a dumb ugly ass bitch. I hope JT has sex with emma and catches her "social disease"
then skips over to manny's house and fucks her loose pussy then walks over to liberty's
house and gives her AIDS... twice.

SPINNER OWNS and so does your site
girl

It's a good plan, but I highly doubt Manny or Emma would sleep with JT even if it was part of a scheme to give Liberty aids.

Date: 01/03/2006
From: Alissa M
Subject: No words can possibly relate

my intense love for a) Degrassi and b) your site. I'm also in love with Johnny because apparently your last name is Dangerous and thats really cool and MTV of you, Johnny, to have a last name that also happens to be an adjective. My own last name is Nasti so I know the ropes. The ropes of adjectival last names, that is.

Apart from this sort of palaver about adjectival names, I'm writing to complain that I, as a 17 year old Australian Degrassi fan, has only seen up to Season 3. This is because Australia is a Third World country, apparently. Or even though we are supporting North America in the fight against dark skinned people we cannot seem to get the slightest favour in return, such as episodes of second rate youth programming, or free beer.

On re-reading the last paragraph I realised that Degrassi is Canadian and is therefore perfectly entitled as part of the leftie, pinko, pot-smoking, tofu eating nation that Canada undoubtedly is to NOT give Australia, we of the anti-Iraqness, episodes of Degrassi. Also, Degrassi is not second rate. Also, free beer is a really good idea that should be expounded upon more often in the worlds parliaments and public forums. And enacted.

Anyway the last episode I saw was the Bollywood dance one. I liked it a lot and thought it was especially funny because Marco's drapes caught on fire? And it was only because he was gay that he was decorating at all? And his contribution to the school dance was undermined by his homo taste, which was obviously bad because the drapes were flammable. So, if you're gay, you're really stupid and silly, cos you'll comprimise school safety for aesthetics.

Can I also say that I think more episodes should feature Billy Ray Cyrus. I would watch an episode that featured Billy Rary Cyrus torturing Liberty by singing 'Achey Breakey Heart' over and over again, which is my idea of Dante's third circle of hell anyway, only substituting the lyrics 'Don't break my heart/my achey breaky heart' for 'Fuck off Liberty/We hate you like a fat kid hates Liberty/I want you to die/We all do in fact.'

I think we'd all watch that.

Anyway this email is actually a lot longer than I intended. Whatevs.

Cheers,
Alissa

Thanks for the appreciation. Sure many Degrassi fans are throwing their panties at me, but this is the first time that it was because of my name. Plus you're 17, so you're almost legal which is always a plus.

Now while it sucks that you are behind the times with Degrassi, you are in Australia, which means you get that one show that's sort of like Degrassi but takes place in Australia. I have no idea what it's called but it use to be on The N, and had one kid who looked like Harry Potter. This was in the old days of The N before Radio Free Rosco, when they still showed Pete and Pete and this one show where these kids put a rocket through the windshield of a car. I have no idea what that show was either, and I'm pretty sure the rocket car episode was the only one made, but it was pretty awesome.

Well anyways if you want to get the latest episodes check out the internet. Some sort of Peer to peer file sharing program like Soul Seek should have some on it.

Date: 01/05/2006
From: Linda B
Subject: [No Subject]

First of all, congratulations for the website, it is full of useful information, up to date, and fun to explore. The episode descriptions are great, although you seem to think all the characters are stupid. ;)

Here's an info ( you may have been told ): the black woman in the very first episode is Lucy, who was part of the old series. She was in the car with Wheels when he crashed it, and that's why she's blind ( if I got it right. )

So keep on the good work!

Linda

Really when you get down to it all the characters are sort of stupid, except for Sean. He's just awesome. Spinner is also awesome, except for large portions of season 4 where he just has a lame haircut.

I do like the idea of a car crash making a person go blind. Old Degrassi gets some points for that.

Date: 01/05/2006
From: Jon B
Subject: Bangability

Emma should probably be lower. I still think Jay only stuck his junk in her mouth to shut her up. The only way Emma will give a guy a boner is with her health food.

Emma may be ugly, but she had some nice boobs, and if you put a man's dick into any part of a woman it is going to grow no matter what she looks like.

Date: 01/05/2006
From: K B
Subject: Your Great Website!

I love your website! It is hilarious! I found it one day while doing a "degrassi" search on google, and I fell in love! Oddly enough, it is the only site that has good episode reviews, despite the outright hatred towards half the characters on the show (that is probably my favorite partof the entier site!). I thought I'd add my two cents, and tell you how much I enjoy and appreciate your site! Keep being so awesome!

-Kristy

I was trying to find some info on an episode that Billy hadn't reviewed, and was also surprised at how shitty other Degrassi sites are. It's a sad day for the fandom when the most informative site for the show is one that blatantly makes fun of it.

Date: 01/05/2006
From: Lorinda H
Subject: omg how fucking funny would that be??

i was on the offical degrassi site by cvt and read that the grl who plays liberty tryed out to play manny!!! ahhhhh just thinking abbo this makes me giggle and grossed out!!

I guess her motto is aim high, but take what you can get.

Date: 01/05/2006
From: moris J
Subject: [No Subject]

This websight sucks!!

Hey fuck you.

Date: 01/06/2006
From: ellie n
Subject: a video

Hey guys.

I made this video. I dont know if you'll like it... but you may. So even if the only joy you get from it is making fun of me for making it... Im glad I made you laugh... cuz you make me laugh constantly!

http://www.youtube.com/?v=43N_4WWLKgs

Peace!

That's s pretty funny, I suggest everybody watch it, unless of course you are afraid of having you socks blown away.

Date: 01/06/2006
From: Kelsey C
Subject: you're site is so cool it made me want to kill Liberty

I recently discovered your site and have to give major props. I love Degrassi, but have always accepted it at face value: a load of amusing shit. Its good to see you don't take it too seriously. You made me realize how much i want to give spinner a blow job and how deepy it is possible to hate a fictional character (liberty). Although Craig is still my favorite due to his bi-polar chic-ness. but he's not cool enough to be in the strokes, he could just run around getting them liquor and smokes. they would probably pay him in groupie pussy. they're very nice like that.

Thanks for doing so much work...and keep it up. Just curious, how do you think the series will end? my bet is the candy bandits will ruin the canadian economy, causing the school to shut down; craig will return and him and manny will have many more abortions together; towerz will come back and kill liberty; jesus will come down and tell spinner that he is renouncing his crown as God's son and handing it over to spin, and spinner will decide who lives and dies throughout the world.

I hope the series will end the same way I want every series to end, with the death of every single major character.

Date: 01/07/2006
From: Andrew W
Subject: [No Subject]

I think Emma knew who Terri was, She was a friend of Emma's.

No she wasn't, I'm pretty sure they never actually interacted with each other.

Date: 01/08/2006
From: Bridget F
Subject: Darcy

Hey there.

You guys did your little "bangability: best charachter to sleep with" thing before Darcy and Spin became a couple. Does it go without saying that she's now above Manny... or is she not above manny becuase she's sort of a jesus freak that wont have sex with spinner as quickly as everyone else at degrassi? Just wondering where she stands.

I love you guys!!!!!!!

Darcy is hot, but she isn't very experienced. She would rank in between Hazel and Paige.

Date: 01/11/2006
From: Patrick N
Subject: ellie isnt a goth girl anymore

hey you should update your ellie page... she is more of a punk rock type than a goth girl now, which makes her more "fit-in-able" as a friend. Also, she is one of the hotter girls on Degrassi now who doesn't have a venereal disease of some sort. Plus I think she would probably be really good in bed because of all of her abandonment issues. I think you should consider upping the grade from a C+ to a B.

I have been meaning to completely revamp the bio page. I think I will wait until the end of the season though. If I haven't done it by next season you should all feel free to send angry emails telling me to die.

Date: 01/16/2006
From: "JPS TECHNOLOGIES, INC."
Subject: Updating Part(s)

How often do you guys update your old episodes? I really wish you could get around to updating some old season 1 and 2 episodes. Also, what did you think of that retarded Paige+Manny Catfight, it sucked yoeah, but I still wish you'd write a review so you can make fuin of it.

Anyone else notice that this email came from JPS Technologies Inc, what would appear to be some sort of corporation? Am I the only one who thinks this guy may be wasting company time? Well to answer your question Billy has been working on reviews of the latest episodes lately so he hasn't had a chance to do the older ones. When there is a lull in episodes he might be able to get around to older ones.

Date: 01/22/2006
From: alucyfan99
Subject: Jimmy

I have written you before- I am the hopelessly devoted drunk Sean fan. Anyway, I just wanted to give you guys some reasons on why you should hate Jimmy almost as much as you hate Liberty and Toby. I hate Jimmy, if you couldn't already tell; he's just an arrogant son of a bitch. Could anyone hold a grudge longer? Maybe if he hadn't teased Sean about being held back a grade or teased Spinner about not having any money, Sean wouldn't have had to kick his ass and Spinner wouldn't have stolen his stupid MP3 player. And each time they tried to make peace, he brutally rebuffed them. He consistently insults the two coolest characters on the show, and now we're expected to feel sorry for him after he's paralyzed from being shot ten inches from the spinal cord? Jimmy, go hook up with Ellie and make some more shitty drawings. I hope both of you just go away. Neither one of you adds anything to the show. Jimmy's not worthy of being Spinner and Sean's coolness, no matter how cool he THINKS he is, and Ellie? Also lame, about as lame as Spinner's dumb-ass season four hairstyle. Like Sean would've picked her for any other reason than to screw her. Everyone else was taken at the time and he was desperate. Enter Ellie. Just some reasons why Jimmy should be another character that you guys should treat with spite and malice. Yes, Liberty is the most pointless character on the show, but Jimmy outright insulted Spinner, something that just isn't done without dire consequences. Looking forward to more of your hilarious reviews!

Jimmy can be a dick at times but we can't make fun of him to much because the Anti Black Defamation League and the Anti Handicap Defamation Leagues have been teaming up lately and threatening to fire bomb our homes.

Date: 01/22/2006
From: Hwhite374
Subject: (no subject)

I guess this is my outlet when I want to complain about Degrassi. How is it that none of the teachers, but really Mr. Simpson and the principal not treat Paige any differently after the whole causing a student teacher to be with you? No one wants to have a conversation with Paige to figure out what the deal was there? I don't know, but something besides ignoring that the two even have a relationship except when it involves just them and Paige's friends. In West End Girls, she was actually planning on taking him to prom. How exactly was that going to work? I don't think he would even be allowed to be on campus. That's long over so I'm sure it doesn't even matter, it's just really annoying. Also, Sean might be coming back so that would be great, but only if he doesn't get back together with Ellie.

When situations like this arise where everything goes against common sense I just pretend that Degrassi takes place on a parallel universe very similar to ours, but also slightly different in key ways.

Date: 01/27/2006
From: Computerqueen13
Subject: Contest question

Hey guys

Want to start out by saying I love ur web site. Its so freakin funny! Finally I have found people who want Liberty to get eaten by wolverines as much as me lol.

What i was emailing you is to find out if you will be having any more contest. i missed your last one due to my stupid computer malfunctioning.

Hopefully you will!

Love you guys( well your web site at least...)

The next contest takes place just as soon as somebody sends us more free merchandise.

Date: 01/27/2006
From: Computerqueen13
Subject: Did they show all the episodes in america from season 5?

Hey guys! While I was reading the episode parodies on your site, I noticed you had the shows "Lexicon of Love 1&2" aswell as "Together forever" for season 5 I have never seen these episodes on the air. I am a die-hard fan of degrassi so I don't think I missed it. Is it possble they didn't show them inmy area due to alex and paige kissing. If that's the reason then may a plague fall upon my local government.

Maybe you can help?

Thx

Kristi

If you are in America then the show is on The N, and would be shown in all areas uncut. If you are in some sort of socialist hell hole then it is very possible that the ultra repressive government isn't letting you watch any of the hot lesbian action. Trust me it was really hot.

Date: 01/28/2006
From: Lmacruzn
Subject: Marco

Well if you like fags because they're clean then why do you hate Marco? 

Because his penis smells like poop.

Date: 01/31/2006
From: Phillip J
Subject: you guys rule

yo, Just found your site, and for lack of a better term, it has rocked my face. I love you guys, and would honestly allow you to bear my children, oh and because I am a n00b to your site, I saw your contest, and despite being late, here's my little slice of terror from the great pie of stupidity that is degrassiboards

01-31-2006, 10:35 PM #118
die liberty die
Style: Degrassi Countdown to be honest, I hope liberty gets hit by a bus, eaten by a wolverine, and then slammed into by a monster truck driven by spinner, because spinner rocks and liberty sucks.
Boycott the caf forever!

Hope I did good, keep it real guys!

Yo I'm glad you like the site, but I couldn't open the file because of a problem on my computer. Not that it matters, because you are late, so you automatically lose no matter how good it might be. Good job loser.

Date: 01/31/2006
From: Cashmeira R
Subject: Degrassi

ummm... cassie steele in real life IS Asian and some other stuff... and manny santos in the show is half asain and half spanish... if you COULDN'T f'n tell you f'er...

and that muslim girl knew that hazel was muslim because of her last name AUden... if you are going to write about peoples ethnicities you should study a little. if it isn't obvious to you... considering in the show it shows that manny's mom is ASIAN and her dad is SPANISH. fathers name = only last name usually.

Islam isn't an ethnicity it's a religion. Believe it or not even in countries with large Muslim populations other religions do exist. Plus Manny's mom is totally Spanish, I think she's originally from Honduras or something.

Date: 02/01/2006
From: Cashmeira R
Subject: Degrassi

you don't double check or spell check your work do you? well you should. because sometimes i say "wow, that really funny" or "wow, thats really racist" or "wow, i cant understand this because its sooo MESSED UP"

It's not easy getting all these pieces in on time and under budget. You don't have the money to hire editors and spellcheckers. You're lucky we even do this at all, ungrateful bastards.

by Johnny Dangerous