Degrassi Mailbag #12
Man I am in a bad mood. I was supposed to hang out with a friend, but I canít find him. Then I went to drink some water, and I didnít have any more bottles in the fridge. Then I found out the only woman I have ever loved left town with my best friend who owes me five thousand dollars. So I am angry and am going to answer the mail.
From: Sue K
Subject: New Degrassi Mini Web Episode! Please read this! I am a fan!
Hey guys. You have to watch/review the new degrassi mini! It's so creepy though! It's the one, "What if Paige was Liberty, and Liberty was Paige". It's weird and funny too, but the grossest part is when Paiges water breaks, it's all over the floor. It looks like watery cola. Ew. It's almost as disgusting as Terri. I'm not exactly sure, but I think Snake is supposed to be the janitor. He sarts cleaning up the "watery cola". I just wanted to say that I love your guys' site, and I also think: Liberty is a snobby ass, Ellie is a freak, Manny is a whore (duh), and Terri is a fat, discusting, glettoness, pig. (I am a Degrassi fan too, I just hate those characters!) Oh yah, Toby is gay. He should get with Marco. Anyway, thanks for doing the site it's awsome!
About every third email is from a person who thinks they are the spitting image of cleverness if they make jokes that are exactly like the ones we make. Terrieís fat ha ha ha, yes we know. Make your own jokes.
Anyways Snake isnít supposed to be a janitor; he just collects various fluids that come out of women. Itís pretty creepy.
Subject: i know
dear daniel ,
Um yeah, thing is Daniel doesnít work here. None of the Degrassi people work here. We sort of make fun of them. Good luck with your lady crush though. Maybe someday you will find the appropriate website to send this to. Until then stop being stupid and sending stupid email.
From: Victoria S
Subject: dvd commentary
Hey, you guys came up with the "Candy Bandits" name, right? Because on the commentary of "Accidents Will Happen, Part 2" the writers refer to Jay and his gang as the Candy Bandits. So either it's a weird coincidence or the Degrassi writers are reading your site. Which makes sense, actually, considering they finally admitted that Spinner is a sex god.
Those mother fuckers better give us credit for naming the Candy Bandits, or there will be hell to pay. I donít know where they live, but there are only so many houses in Canada, so Iíll find them eventually.
From: Blake B
Subject: Re: New Email
You really dont know your degrassi stuff.Ashely doesn't hang around the house mad.Also she walked out the room because she realize she was about to cry or throw up when she saw terri's sore.Duhhhhhhhhhhhh!Plus she didn't dump ellie just to become friends with paige and the crew.U dont know your stuff.She was still friends with ellie because she was in the band with her and the paige crew. episode rock and roll high school.and she wasn't a mean goth.U need serious help.Now I see why you're named DUMBBABY. ha ha haAlso 1 more thing she's not a buzzkill u r bumber!
Try sobering up, and then send us another email. Maybe then Iíll be able to decipher what the fuck you are talking about.
From: kortney z
i love your site sooo much. it rocks my non-existent weiner
To bad you donít have a real wiener, then we could party. Ah shit I bet that sounds really gay. Ignore that comment!
Subject: Your website is fucking awesome!
Ok, just read every single episode recap and died of laughter after each one. This is freaking awesome dude, it is hilarious. Liberty does look like a racoon that got into a fight with a tractor and lost, but hey, she ain't bad looking, haha. Anyways, just wanted to commend you all on an excellent site. Also, I think Ashley and Spinner need to get together. They both give the biggest verbal slaps and always get to have the last word. Like when spinner and paige got into a fight over terri and he said, "well at least I didn't tell her to go after him"... owwww. This also usually occurs with any season three conversation with ashley. Anyways, just wanted to say your website is awesome. Later, Jeremy
First you say Liberty looks like a raccoon that lost a tractor fight, then you say she ainít bad looking. Make up your mind. By the way the only people who think Liberty ainít bad looking are pedophiles. Stop molesting children you punk ass cracker.
Subject: check oot my degrassi video mixx
i love your site!! i made this video mixx at a the-n.. its rlly funny.. check it oot-->_The N: Video Mixer_ (http://www.the-n.com/partners/skittles/index.php?id=908) ooo by the way.. i met shane kippel at a mall tour and he hugged me and told me i made his day after i gave him this thing letter/collage thing i made for him.. he said it meant a lot to him.. that made me the happiest girl everr!!
How about I donít watch your video. Yeah that seems like what Iím going to do here.
From: Greg H
Subject: There is no ....real... Miriam myspace
Your last mailbag linked to this myspace -- http://profile.myspace.com/emmale121 Doing a few clicks, it is pretty easy to tell the profile is fake. So many fake myspaces out there. Only Jay Lobel and Aubrey Graham have real ones, afaik.
Didn't the MASSIVE tagging of all the images on her myspace send a hint? The top 8 was full of other fakes too...The Stacey Farber myspace is very fake, as its top 8 links to a bunch of people who RP degrassi characters. Better than the usual myspace fakers, but still fake.
I spent about four seconds looking at the myspace account. The way I see it is that if the myspace page doesnít have pictures of hot chicks in panties then they is no reason for me to look at it. If any of you female Degrassi fans have myspace accounts where you post pictures of yourself in panties make sure to send the link to me. Otherwise go to Hell.
From: Sue K
Subject: are you gay?
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Hey, Marco should go to this site. You should too.......I'm not saying you are. I love your guys' site! It's hillarious!
Keep It Up,
Quit being such a homophobe you fucking homophobic queer butt.
Ask your mother if Iím gay. Wait she better not talk while her mouth is full.
He mouth is full of my cock.
From: Homie G
Subject: season 6
hey good news!!! i think there will be season 6 this coming september... heres the official myspace URL of degrassi: http://www.myspace.com/DegrassiTheNextGeneratio
episode guides: http://epguides.com/DegrassiTheNextGeneration/
the first two episodes will be "Here comes your man 1 and 2" i hope they will be featuring Spinner because Shane Kippel is so hot that i wanna rape him when i get to see him.
Liberty sucks and should die! She's so irritating and ugly that i wanna push her n the cliff with alligators at the bottom waiting for her to eat.
I tried looking at the season 6 blog entry but I couldnít because Degrassi isnít my myspace friend. Fuck you Degrassi the music that plays on your page is really gay.
Your name is Homie G. You better be a women with a masculine name. Other wise stop thinking about raping Spinner. He is so straight that it is impossible to rape him. Even if you were in a position to rape him a force field would knock your dick off.
i kinda don't want my really name on that pic i sent you (mailbag #11). could you change it?
Subject: Oh How We Love Spinner
Boycott the Caf is a literary work of genius. You've put Degrassi in a whole new light for us. You make us worship you like the Jews do to Jesus.
On the excellent side, an interview with Spinner/Shane Kippel says: (this is from the N site)
The-Mary: yeah, i guess that's about where I'm at on the whole subject, too. So um here's a more fun subject: who should spinner hook up with? The-Mary: ideally. -Shane-: i think spinner should hook up with.............. basically anyone who will look in his direction, because he has not a friend in the world right now, except Jay, but spinner wouldn't hook up with him....or would he? lol no, ideally, in his place right now, there are no main characters for him to hook up with....that i can speak freely about, that is The-Mary: Jay. That is the best idea ever
(you can tell that The-Mary can obviously not handle Spinner's good looks or charm or good ideas, by this point)
The-Mary: ok good... so... who in the cast do you hang out with the most? -Shane-: well, i gotta say that'd be big boy aubrey graham.....he's standing over me right now........who knew he could stand...oh! The-Mary: HA!
(The-Mary is obviously very close to jumping his bones at this point)
They have a purely-Spinner quote on his character bio page;
Typical quote: "Excitement makes me fart."
That quote, alone, is why we thank the heavens every day for Spinner.
We all know that Spinner is awesome as is Boycott the Caff. Reading long emails about how much the two of us make people orgasm is only cute the first dozen times. Now when people do it its no big deal. Donít you people have anything new to say?
From: Tiffany V
haha your web site is really funny
By the way I was pasting your email into a word document and it made Microsoft Word crash. Thanks a lot asshole.
From: Janay S
Subject: WHAT THA FUCK???
oK, I love yalls website. It gave me true insight on the characters of degrassi. I have never really hated Liberty until your site taught me thr truth. Speaking of Liberty and the truth......on that mini shit episode. WHAT THE FUCK??? Who's idea was it to pretend something so horrible and crappy like Paige being Liberty??? I wanna know. I think the producers are crack babies and I would love for a camel to shit in their eyes, surround them with killer japan bees and then proceed to be trampled by 10 million elephants. I still wouldn't be happy, but it would be a start. I was in tears when I saw that shit man, it was just wrong and scary. Believe me I have seen some scary shit. But that cut tha cake. I feel so sorry to all the viewers, enduring tha thought of seeing Liberty in any episode is just pure disgust, but to see Paige pretend to be Liberty. Come on!!! Haven't we sufferred enough, Liberty isn't dead yet. Stupid producers, DIE!!!!
mad black girl
Hey Crazy Black Girl, how about you over react about how horrible Liberty is. Its funny when me and Billy do it but when fans try imitating us in email it just sucks. Good lord I should find you all and beat you to death with a tire iron.
From: Jonathan D
Subject: I'm quite the artist...
I was recently going through some classic Degrassi episodes, trying to cheer myself up, and I reread "Shout".
..That comment you made about Liberty cleaning uP J.T.'s shit made me laugh so hard.. I felt I needed to repay you. Here's a 100000% genuine picture taken from that same day!
Look at that moldy cunt's face.. She likes cleaning it up, considering it's J.T.'s shit.
My sources tell me that picture is a fake. You are a liar and should be shot.
I do agree that Degrassi boards should fuck off.
From: Jeffrey F
Subject: I think I might be gay, what do I do?
You guys rock out loud, are you on MySpace?
Stay the fuck away from me, thatís what you can do fag.
From: Jason R
Subject: Degrassi Magnum Opus
My friend at the University of Missouri School of Journalism is taking this class where she has to scout out articles from normal people to place on a web site called MyMissourian. At least that's the theory -- most of the articles are rushed, bullshited stuff on pets, vacations and the like. So when I was asked to write something, I decided to go all out and write a 1,560-word analysis on the rise and fall of Degrassi: The Next Generation.
I guess the reason you care is there are two instances in the article where I use Boycott The Caf's intensity rating for comedic effect. Some might call that stealing. And they're probably right. But you should still take a gander.
Me and Billy are normal people, why the hell isnít your friend asking us to post articles? Scratch that, your friend can go die, we donít want to write for your friendís lame normal person website. Weíre better then normal. We are like super normal. Which is a lot better than you.
By the way your letter made my Internet Explorer crash, thanks a lot dickweed.
From: C.M. E
You know. If people want you to update more, they should pay you and if they want you to read their e-mails (especially if they're super fucking long) they should pay you. It's a win-win situation.
Word to your mother-
Fuck yeah, those guys are assholes.
From: Shannon P
Subject: degrassi forums are queer
I read a long time ago that you were dissapointed in the lack of people writing some good disses on the forums. Well I had been doing that and all, but everytime Id post anything, they'd delete my account. Pfft.. bastards. I guess in Canada they dont have freedom of speech. Those idiots who run the god damn thing mentally suck at life.
Love the site. You guys seriously kick ass.
Canada has the freedom of speech but it doesnít apply to fag queer websites that are full of pedophiles.
From: Dawn R
Subject: shane kippel
i hope you know i LOVE you . every second i can i watch you. they need to put you on more episodes,they have like two with you in most of the show. DONT HANG OUT WITH LAUREN COLLINS ANYMORE. SHES A REAL ... you should LOVE me , not her. well gotta go Degrassis starting.
ps write me back.( type me back)+
Good lord are you people retarded or do you just get a kick out of pissing me off?
From: Daniella M
Subject: Spinner's Soundboard!
In case you haven't seen it yet, here's one fine collection of the Spinster's best quotes, available on audio...just click on any you want to hear. The URL is:
Holy shit that thing is awesome. It totally got me out of my bad mood. Now I can die happy. Peace out Degrassi fans.