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Degrassi Mailbag #13 - The Summer '06 Letters

For the purposes of this mailbag, we are counting May, and not August, as part of summer. Also, we've been answering mail for over a year. What a magical time it has been.

Date: 5/10/06
From: EOvers2259
Subject: hello.

I'm a fan. You seem really funnny. i've read your stuff like 100000000000000000000 times. But I wonna know who do you hate on the show? You make good comments and bad comments on evreyone. But no offense when you make fun of marco you kind of seem homeophobic. My fsvorite is when you do the summeries on the show. My favorite one is when you did Venus.

Please reply,
A Fan

The only reason it looks like we make a lot of gay jokes is because Marco has been on the show longer than Terri, so those overshadow all of our fat jokes.

Date: 5/14/06
From: smilesaregood
Subject: ha.

in my lonesome ramblings of the internet, i found this:

http://www.iconator.com/icon.php?IconID=89391

ha. haha. hahaha.

liberty sucks ass.

-Cait

PS. aren't you guys from the u.p.? i'm from the l.p., the much cooler part of michigan.

There is no cool part of Michigan. All the LP has going for it is crime and high unemployment. At least the UP has lots of copper. Plus, the Garden Peninsula produces the best quality marijuana north of Mexico. Take that, U of M.

Date: 5/14/06
From: Kaynebaby718
Subject: Awesome Site

Billy and Johnny Dangerous and all those other people that run the website,

I'd just like to say thanks because Boycott The Caf the most hilarious Degrassi website I've ever seen. I never thought I find a website that bashed Liberty as much as I do. She really needs to be shot in the face. I almost pissed my pants when I read the "How The Degrassi Boys Measure Up". You're probably right, Liberty does have a bigger size than JT. And ew, JT must've been pretty desperate to want her. You guys should pair up the guys and girls on the show and then morph their faces together to see what their children will look like. That would be frickin' hilarious.

Love you guys until Pamela Anderson gets a breast reduction,

Lauren

That part about morphing faces, that would take a lot of effort. They can do it on Conan O'Brien because that show has a budget and they don't spend time writing jokes. All they do to prepare for the show is photoshop celebrity faces, edit Walker, Texas Ranger episodes and design costumes like a Frankenstein wearing a disco suit. You parade that stuff in front of an audience of stoners/frat boys and you don't need to be witty. Conan fills in the rest of the show by making awkward small talk with Max Weinberg, and that is funny in its own right because it is clear that Conan and Max are not friends.

Anyway, here is our attempt at seeing what certain character's children would look like:

Jimmy and Ashley

Toby and Kendra

Peter and Emma

Craig and Manny

Date: 5/17/06
From: Savannah W
Subject: i love yall

omg i love yalls site like so friggin much! i totally dissagree on some stuff like ellie cause she's my fave character but yall are awesome. i love how you make fun of degrassi even though yall like love degrassi. yall are unlike any other site because yall have pics and stuff and like yall actually tell what yall think. i'm makin a powerpoint that discusses season five episodes(because i'm totally bored since school's out) so i use yalls guidence to write stuff in the powerpoint. oh and i also think its really weird that two 23 year old guys obsess over degrassi but hey thats ok. yall are awesome!!

thanks for reading

p.s. sorry if i said "yall" too much..i live in texas and its a habit

Sorry you live in Texas.

Date: 5/24/06
From: Tracy M
Subject: N/A

Hey, are you guys dead or something. Because there is been no updates on the site for like 2 months.

Yes.

Date: 6/3/06
From: David B
Subject: degrassi drinking games

i know you've anamed at least a dozen or more in your episode reviews so if you could make up a list it would be awesome............nothing like watching degrassi while your drunk.................one time when i played a drinking game with the entire fourth season I thought that Toby had 6 whole lines of dialoougue! 6! that is an all time high for him.....but then i watched it sober and realized it was only 2........what a shame..............teehee

We've been thinking about doing a massive drinking game list for the show, but that would be a lot of work. Pay us ten bucks and we'll make a list.

Date: 6/8/06
From: Bianca h
Subject: J.T

I love your show!!!!!! i cannot stop watching it. and Ohmigosh, why is J.T so hot.Honestly, hes cuter than all of my x boyfriends. Hes funny and he cares about his friends. i know its just a canadian T.V show but he is tooooooooooooooooooooooo hot! Really!

Thanks. Making the Degrassi show is a big job, but we are happy to do it. After Terri left, we saved a lot of money off the cast and crew buffet table, so we've used that cash to make the show as intense as Canada will allow.

Date: 6/10/06
From: Jane
Subject: amy

hey peeps,

if you watch that episode carefully, its perfectly obvious that Alex murdered Amy. She goes in the bathroom with Amy and when she comes out Amy is dead.

Damn straight, that's an interesting point. If this is true, I'd imagine Alex killed Amy because she didn't want another female in the Candy Bandits. Jay is not monogamous.

Date: 6/11/06
From: Erin O
Subject: RARARARARA

there was this movie about blended families or something on ABC family, and rick, toby, and sean's grandma or mom or something were all in it.

regarding degrassi, i think kendra should come back and hook up with liberty, leaving JT free to have sex with toby.

also, i had sex with spinner, and he tore me in HALF. his bat...it was wooden.

P.S. I AM SEWWW KUTE LOOK ME UP ON MYSPACE!! =] lolololololzzzzz

Sean's grandma/mother was also in Dawm of the Dead. And Dean was in Land of the Dead. So working on Degrassi is a good way to get a minor role in a zombie movie.

I'd look you up on Myspace, but Myspace has a habit of never working.

Date: 6/13/06
From: MssexyM06
Subject: THAT IS WRONG FOR WHAT HE OR SHE SAID ABOUT LIBERTY

DEAR DEGRASSI,

I READ THAT A PRESON WROTE REAL BAD ABOUT LIBERTY ON THIS WEBSITE.

Really? We'll look right into that.

Date: 6/14/06
From: Chelsey P
Subject: N/A

I just wanted to say thank you for proving my point, or agreeing with the fact that Florida State will let ANYONE in (In your High Fidelity review). No one believes me! I've been telling everyone that forever.

I'm glad I'm not the only older person who enjoys watching this show not only because its addicting but because is hilarious without trying to be.

Oh and your site is wonderful. You're really fucking hilarious and I thank you for that. Keep it up!

Fuck Florida. Orange juice drinking motherfucks.

Date: 6/14/06
From: Bridget
Subject: season 6

Hey-low there.

OK so I dont know if you guys read up on the spoilers or how it works with you, but Im an impatient little bitch and like to know whats going to happen BEFORE it happens... so I did some reading... and I found out the coolest bit of info EVER. (okay thats an exaggeration but its kinda cool) So i read this article that said "Confined to a wheelchair, Jimmy finds new ways to deal with his sexuality"

I read that like WHAT THE FUCK?! I dont know about you but when i read * sexuality* Im like... "so does this mean Marcos gonna be sittin on Jimmys lap a lot or what?"

This was super hilarious to me. Not that you care... but Jimmy deserves Marcos diseases for all the shit he did to spinner... so whatev. Anyway turns out Jimmy is gonna "explore sex in a wheelchair" ... Dont know about you... but Ive been wondering how little jimmy works (or big jimmy seeing as he's black).

So yup... turns out their going to "address that issue" in season 6. So yay. Just thought Id tell you that if you didnt know.

I heart you guys.

I think it just means Jimmy is going to learn how to suck pussy.

Date: 6/16/06
From: Teresa R
Subject: boycot the caf site

wow your site SUCKS! were you just trying to see how many times you could use the F word on a page. wow what a waste of space.

Yes we were.

Date: 6/17/06
From: Sylvie
Subject: you are nice

Hi! degrassi

You're emission its very nice and this very funny.i look all you're emissions and you are very very beautiful all the team of degrassi

ps:you tucking in french because i am so bad in english

think you and hourrai the degrassi.

I am glad you looked at all are emissions. Bon jour, wee-wee.

Date: 6/19/06
From: Stargirrl556
Subject: (no subject)

You compared Degrassi and X-men???? I think I love you!! Especially since you used the pics from the cartoon i used to watch with my dad on Saturday mornings.

But..

How dare you compare Beast with Liberty? Both are ugly,but Beast is way more likeable and he can lift up big things and is strong. Also,Kelsey Grammar played him in the movie. I hated Frasier,but he did the voice of Sideshow Bob in the simpsons,so he's awesome. Not to mention he's British. You know how people love British guys. They are so foreign.

Wow,i wonder if you'll make fun of me. lol Oh well. I can laugh at myself.

Yes, we will make fun of you. Kelsey Grammer is an American actor. He was born in the US Virgin Islands. You only think he is British because he speaks intelligently. Not all British people are smart, the Scottish for example. Beast from the movie was cool, but I was basing the X-Men article on the cartoon series, where Beast was a flake.

Date: 6/3020/06
From: Elijah J
Subject: about emma

lol open the file its about emma

I think she went through puberty, that's what I think. Do you not know what puberty is?

Date: 7/6/06
From: fionnuala
Subject: Candy

Have you guys watched those Degrassi Tells All things on the- n? Well, they're very stupid, and don't really tell anything, but I was just watching then one with Emma and Jay, and I noticed something funny.

Jay asks Emma if she ever got tired of being the "good girl", and she replys, "Yeah, I got tired of it. It was like...too much candy." Then you can hear Jay going "Pssht...candy..." as though you could never have TOO MUCH candy.

And Jay tried out for a gay. Hah!

Oh, and I would gladly marry either of you.

-Lucy

That is too awesome.

Date: 7/8/06
From: audrea b
Subject: That was very rude

I think who ever wrote that racist story of Liberty and J.T when they told their parents they were expecting the baby was rude. That comment "bastard mulatto" was unneeded to write that story and the part were the individual wrote liberty needs to get off her "black fat ass was unneeded too. If any of you have a problem with African Americans get used to it, because were not going anywhere. You all brought us here to America, you better get used to us here in America. I bet some of you have even a little African American blood rolling through your veins.

P.S. Some of you guys are just mad, because we are free and not slaves working on your plantation. Plus as for being a mulatto, non of us are 100% anything.

Working on my plantation? Most of you people aren't working anywhere! Ha ha, I kid, I kid.

I assure you I do not have any Afro blood in my veins. Some French blood, unfortunately, but I am mostly Nordic. Johnny is Russian or Italian or Chinese or something.

Date: 7/11/06
From: Whoabadpoetry
Subject: Would this happen to be you by any chance?

Hey, I was just wondering if this was you.

http://www.fanfiction.net/u/628893/

http://www.fanfiction.net/u/629438/

http://www.fanfiction.net/u/664247/

If not, they're still pretty funny.

--Christa

No, I did not write those. No, they are not pretty funny.

Date: 7/12/06
From: loretta y
Subject: you and jt

HEY liberty your man jt is hot.To bad you f.... him or you would'nt have had a boy ridht?

I like how you censored yourself in your own email. You must have known Liberty is too much of a prude to want to see the word "fuck". Bearing in mind that you probably would have spelled it wrong as well.

Date: 7/15/06
From: Henry G
Subject: emails

Hi,

Im Henry from england living in peru. I would like to know: Cassie's, Lauren's, Stacey's and Miriam's sn(screenname) or any other that they could have please.... maybe of some boys too.

Thanks

Send them to hgoldsworthy17@hotmail.com

Someone send Henry your screenname.

Date: 7/15/06
From: Audrey W
Subject: Just another fanmail...

On your site, you guys wrote:

"We are both Americans from the state of Michigan and in our early twenties, so 13 year olds should stop sending emails to proclaim your love for us, because that ain't going to happen."

......what about a 20 year old professing her love to you? ;)

"Priorities are insane. Cigarettes are legal and kill 1200 people a day -in this country alone- but marijuana is illegal and the worst that can happen is maybe you'll raid your neighbor's refrigerator."
--Pot Stories for the Soul

That's fine. Just send us some naked photos and we'll be set.

Date: 7/17/06
From: prodigalsun
Subject: haha Sean is poor

Okay, someone in an earlier mailbag who was trying to correct your info made the comment that:

Sean is not poor retard if not he wouldn't be wearing clothes

Now I went to public school, so I’ve met some poor kids, and while they smelled bad, very few walked around naked. But what makes that comment retarded is the fact that Sean clearly is poor because he only has one outfit. He wears the denim jacket, white shirt and jeans every episode for two seasons. He’s like the Fonz. Then in season three, he trades that outfit in for the gray hoodie, white tank top, and wool hat, and wears that until he leaves the show. Tracker must be a whiz at laundry, because white is hard to keep clean, and you think there’d be blood stains, car grease and chocolate milk all over Sean’s shirt.

I wish I could wear the same outfit everyday, but I think people would say something to me after a couple months. The only way that'd work out was if you made Boycott the Caf shirts, cuz I'd say fuck everyone and wear mine everyday with pride. But then I'd get kicked out of school because the administration would think I was trying to boycott our caf. I'd never get a good job, and I would be poor and have no choice but to wear that shirt everyday, but it would no longer be cool, it would be sad.

Lauren

It just so happens we have Boycott the Caf shirts. They come courtesy of Cafepress.com, so only buy one if you like thin, low quality shirts that cost $17.

Date: 7/17/06
From: Daniella M
Subject: Spinner's the Man

Now Darcy admits it...Ain't no other man like Spin! Check this fan vid...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zc7cWIZxFBI

That and transsexual Korean pop music videos are why Youtube is awesome.

Date: 7/22/06
From: Jason Z
Subject: The X-men Comparisons

Dudes, love the site. Loved the X-men comparisons too, but you totally missed out on some other obvious comparisons.

J.T. as Iceman
Firstly, like Iceman, J.T. was both the youngest-acting and actual youngest of their original casts. Also like Iceman, he jokes around to hide a bubbling cauldron of insecurities. Other similarities are abound: Iceman's dated two women who could shapeshift into men, just like J.T.'s dated Liberty (who has a penis). Also, you'll notice that when Iceman turns all Icy, his entire body is defined except for his groin - which is completely smooth. Also like J.T.!

Toby as Toad
Both enjoy playing lackeys to stronger men (Magneto or J.T. and Rick). Both are also genuinely funny and intelligent and like to fool around with computers and technology, but get no recognition because they aren't up to the level of attractiveness as other characters, and have a total lack of social skills.

Dylan as Northstar
Both are gay Canadian athletes that have no purpose other than to stand around and be gay.

Alex as White Queen
Both are bitchy and cruel women who are obviously evil, but nevertheless manage to constantly weasel out of ever actually being caught.

Ashley as Psylocke
Originally a quiet goody girl, it was thought she wasn't edgy enough, so they decided to shake up her character (by putting her in an Asian ninja's body or taking ecstacy) only to find out later it made her even more boring.

I don't read the comic books, I only watched the cartoon series. And since the cartoon series was like a God damn soap opera, I didn't follow that too closely either. So I am only familiar with X-Men who were heavily shown in the cartoon. Still, that is very keen.

Date: 7/24/06
From: Mitch 514
Subject: What's with these emails?

Hey guys,

Do you ever get tired of responding to peoples' dumb emails all the time? Especially the super-long ones, and the ones from people who think you're an official Degrassi site?

Anyway, I'm not sure if you're open to suggestions, but in case you are: I'd like to see a feature on Boycott the Caf titled "Things I've learned from watching Degrassi." I came across one on the imdb website, but it was mostly lame. I figured you guys could write something wickedly funny in an article with that title.

Peace,
-Mitch

The only thing I learned from Degrassi is that if I start a Degrassi website, someone will send me a free book.

Date: 7/26/06
From: annabelwerecat
Subject: N/A

hey an aside about degrassi continuity-- remember how inaccessible degrassi was to wheelchairs in eye of the tiger? well, wheelchair girl from the first couple seasons had no problems with it.

also, notice how at degrassi funerals you never see the body? i think at least in rick's case he faked his own death.

Excellent point. Maybe they just kept Wheelchair Girl in one room.

Date: 7/28/06
From: Jane
Subject: contradictio

How can you say any episode with too much Craig sucks, then say that Weird Science would have been the best ever except for the fact that it didn't have Craig? And do you think Darcy and Spinner will get back together in season 6?

I don't believe I ever said that. Then again, I don't really care to go back and see if I did.

I think Darcy and Spinner will get back together. Darcy is going to be a main character next year and if she is not dating Spinner, she won't have anything to do. The producers don't need another Toby on their hands.

Date: 7/28/06
From: Conradlm
Subject: funny degrassi music video!!

i saw this and thought of your website!! You have to watch this, it is  
hilarious!!!
_Click  here: YouTube - Degrassi_
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZmUjDnWr8k&search=Degrassi)

Have a Wonderful day!!!
♥ Natalie : )

Someone sends me a link to that Degrassi song or video at least once a week day. I've seen and heard it before people. Many times. I get it, it's very funny. I like it. Stop sending it to me.

Date: 7/11/06
From: tina w
Subject: Poem

Hey!

  just wanted to say that i love your site. it keeps me laughing all day long. keep the reviews coming!

 I found this on the yahoo answers page and i thought you guys might enjoy it:

 Once upon a time there was a school called Degrassi,
And the children and the tenants were all fat and sassy.
Except for one little boy and his name was Rick,
People pushed him around untill he turned into a Frick.
And took a gun, took a gun, took a very big gun,
To degrassi to have himself a little bit of fun.
Then bang shot Jimmy,
And pointed it at Emma.
With Sean in the way oh what a big elimma.
But then Rick died,
And everything was fine.
Except Ashley’s kinda freakin,
After Craig lost his mind, and proposed at a party with his puppy dog eyes.
And Ashley Refused,
What a big surprise When he cried like a baby,
And went back to his hotel.
Fucked up the room and stuck Joey with a bill,
Then he went to a wedding and acted like a whore.
And he kicked Joey’s *** and he cried a little more.
Hey, remember back when Manny and Jt were going out,
And Jt was doing good but then began to doubt.
That his little stack of dimes couldn’t measure up to Craig’s
When he saw it in the locker room between Craig’s legs.
So in order to get out of his romantic slumps,
Some black kid gave him a magic penis pump.
But Manny found out and to make matters worse,
It turned out that Mr. Raddish used it first.
Well Paige got raped,
And Marco is gay.
Spinner gets boners and farts all day,
Toby is a dork,
And liberty is too.
Snake got cancer up the kazoo.
Sean’s on his own,
And Ellie likes to cut.
Alex is a *****,
And Manny is a ****.
Emma is kinda whiney,
And Terry got hit.
Hazel doesn’t never seem to do Jack-****.
Degrassi is my favorite thing,
When the theme song plays, I always have to sing.
I hope that it never goes off the air,
I’d even miss Spinner’s hair.

 This just reminded me of you guys so..
 ok, again keep up the goo work!

Come on now. Hey, someone forgot to censor a "fucked". And a "frick".


Here are a couple more Arts and Crafts emails, I'm adding on August 2nd:

Date: 5/14/06
From: Jonathan D
Subject: A comic I made.

Here's a degrassi comic I made. I know I've sent you guys a lot of pointless things (duhgrassi, those video clips, that Liberty pic.), but this is different. I actually put hard work into this.

Speaking of Duhgrassi.. Please delete it. It's so lame and pointless, and I am actually embarrassed at how bad it is. But please post this comic.

Thanks.

That comic is alright. I used to be the MS Paint cartoonist myself.

I'm not going to delete Duhgrassi because that would require work on my part. I'd have to locate those emails, delete them and save the file again. Come on man. If you are embarrassed, just remind yourself that no one ever bothered to read those long emails all the way through.

Date: 7/25/06
From: "jesus christ"
Subject: FW: STORY

You are a comic genius.

This is why we don't let random people write for us.

by Billie Green