Degrassi Mailbag #22
Subject: Alcoholic Pre-Teens
Hey, guys. Great site. I noticed something in the episode "Talking in Your Sleep" that you neglected to comment on in your summary. When Lucas is trying to get Mia to drink at his party, he says, "come on, you used to love to throw down," or something like that. Um, Mia is like 16, and she has a 3-year-old. Throughout the episode, she acts like she's all Super Teenage Mother, saying "Izzy always comes first" (well, after Spirit Squad, student council, and whatever loser she happens to be sucking off at the time), giving the impression that she hasn't "partied" since she became a mommy. Soooo if she used to love to "throw down," that means she was drinking...a lot...when she was 12. That's pretty messed up. Mia's waitress mom is dumb if she was letting her 12-year-old kid go to parties. No wonder Mia got knocked up.
In my experience teenage mothers tend to drink at 12. It's also possible Mia drank while she was still pregnant. Or more likely it was her mother who drank while pregnant.
From: Fernando P V
Subject: Sara and Aimee Do Degrassi
I'm probably just one of the many many many people who want to thank you for making Degrassi relevant again, but I don't care, so thank you for making Degrassi relevant again, because after season 5, the show just went down to the toilet. By the way, I also want to thank you for talking about the Sara and Aimee Do Degrassi potcast, it's really funny, almost like a female version of BTC, they even start a spinoff potcast called The Caff, and I think they talk about you on one or two of their episodes. Why don't you contact them to discuss the review of some episodes, that would be AWSOME. How about Aimee is bisexual, yet she wants to have sex with Spinner?
PS: Spinner U ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't think you understand what bisexual means.
Subject: Question about Degrassi
Do you know the actor that plays as Jimmy's father on Degrassi?
His name is Yaphet Kotto.
From: amity c
Subject: This is kinda funny about Lauren.
Me and my friend decided to compare Lauren Collins to Miss Piggy, and I think theylook alot alike. I also find it quite funny that they do. These pictures basically prove it to me and 5-6 of my friends at least. We wanted to know what you thought.Cause it was halarious when we first thought about it. But anyways. Heres the photos.
By the way, love the site. Great. Funny. Love the episodes recap. Your style. Haha,What do you think about the upcoming season.. Ugh.
Thanks. Hope to see this message be one to get a responce... :)
Those pictures are as disturbing as they are funny and an overall educational experience. I hope Paige starts karate chopping that dude who gave her AIDs.
From: Devin G
Subject: Great website
First of all i would like to say you have an amazing website cause you have the funniest jokes and spinner is a badass but i had a question about the charater bios i wanted to know if you were going to put in the new people cause i would love to see what you guys thought off all of the new anyonning charaters such as anya or chris 2.0 aka damian
I will eventually get around to doing new bios. I've been meaning to do them for some time now but shit keeps changing and I never know what's going on. However this shouldn't be a problem with Wikipedia so keep an eye out for updates sometime within the next five years.
From: Samantha P
Subject:Who is the biggest slut?
I just read this post and i just thought i would correct one thing. Manny is not a "spicy Latina", she is Filipino, which is more Asian than it is Spanish. Which makes your whole point about her race being more slutty than Paige and Emma's completely wrong. Just thought that if you want to hate on Degrassi characters, you might want to get your facts straight!
Boycott the Caff emailer Krist M has proven you wrong already.
From: jesus c
Subject: do you remember?
i slightly recall first starting watching degrassi back when there was ctv on directtv. this was the old school degrassi. im not sure if that was the station where if irst started watching the next generation, but i was wondering if that may be where you guys started watching the show. im only wondering because i also remember this kickass show they had called the littlest hamster. it was some childrens show with real animals doing all kinds of crazy shit, like riding in rc cars and stuff in the forest. its been so long i vaguely remember it, but id really like to see it again. im pretty sure it was called the littlest hamster anyway. if youve never heard of t, i highly recommend contacting some canadians who may remember.
The hamster show sounds sweet. I bet it could give Hamtaro a run for its money.
As for the first time Billy and I watched Degrassi, the story is as follows: One fine day we were "hanging" out with our mutual friend Zach. While flipping through the channels, looking for Walker Texas Ranger reruns" Zach stopped on Noggin and told us about this sweet show. Billy and I were skeptical but watched on. The episode was "Coming of Age" and we began watching right when Emma got period juice all over her skirt. The moment we saw this:
From: Janay S
Who are all the new characters in the show??? I saw a trailer and there was a white bitch that look like Liberty. Degrassi needs to end. All the good characters are gone. Ain't no reason to bring anymore dumbass crackers on the show.
I wasn't going to print this letter until I read the last sentence. Ha ha, dumbass crackers.
From: Lisa C
Subject: I thought you guys would enjoy this!
Here's a link of degrassi bloopers. Some of them are actually pretty funny.
Great link. I loved how it strongly featured Spinner and Manny falling down is always funny.
From: horatio b
Subject: cant register at your forum
I've tried to register several times, all I get is an error message.
Is registration closed? I'd love to be a part of your Degrassi forum!
Our forum just has lots of problems because nobody at Dumb Baby know how to work a forum. It should be fixed eventually.
From: Emily M
Subject: Degrassi Boards
Some of you may be happy, some of you may be sad and the rest of you will delete this.
"After much consideration and weighing the options, DB is closing its doors on12/31/08. It's been a long run, much longer than I EVER anticipated, but I'm tired for many different reasons. Beyond the fact that general interest in Degrassi has died down considerably the past year or so, my ability to stay committed to the board in the way I need to has also trickled off.
So, we'll be having a couple last "hurrah's" to say goodbye to the site and then it'll be done. Thanks for being a member of the site and contributing in one way or another.
So, stop by and check it out, say your goodbyes and keep in touch with those youwant to keep in touch with for the next four months!
So I guess in the end you guys won...
I couldn't find anything on the actual Degrassi Boards announcing that they are closing, but I am going to pretend that I did so that we can declare victory. Take that assholes! You guys have been defeated! Behold Dumb Baby and its glorious victory over tyranny. This is not the first website to fall to our mighty wrath nor will it be the last.
Subject: a few things...
Ok first of all, your site is pretty funny, and you've got a real talent for writing. I'd hate to see what the site looks like before you spell-check, though, because the grammatical mistakes and various wrong words chosen automatically by the spell-checking software are ubiquitous. I know you know this because you mention it in an aside in one of the Degrassi episode summaries, but that doesn't exactly excuse it. Granted, I didn't refine the technicalities of my craft until I hit my 30s, so maybe I'm being a little hypocritical. Still, vast improvements to Boycott the Caf could be made by simply proof-reading or having someone else proof-read, to fix obvious stuff that always happens to anything written before being fixed by a proof-reading.
Second, Chester says 'deep fried starch', not 'thick fried starch'. I rewound twice to make sure.
Third, the reason Alex wasn't pilloried to the degree Spinner and Jay were over Jimmy getting shot is because Alex was not involved in making Rick think that Jimmy set it all up. Unfortunately the writers kept having the Principal Hotass claim that 'bullying' was the reason Jay and Spinner were singled out, when, as you noted, everyone bullied Rick, and Rick deserved it anyway. In real life, if someone was expelled because their bullying was 'indirectly' responsible for the bullied victim to shoot someone, the person expelled would get a lawyer who would get them back in school immediately, not to mention a few thousand dollars to compensate for the BS. And what about the millions of dollars Jimmy would end up with after suing.. no mention of that on the show for some reason...
Fourth, and the main purpose for writing this email is in regards to your comment about 'foreign cars' in the episode summary in which Joey's girlfriend mentions that she doesn't want to buy a 'foreign car'. You mention that 'all' cars must be 'foreign' in Canada because Canada has no current national marque. This is a common misconception made by less-than-worldly Americans. But first let me clarify where my perspective comes from. I'm an American citizen who was brought to Canada by my parents when I was 3 years old. I'm now 37 and I've lived in Vancouver since I was 3. This has allowed me to obtain a unique perspective devoid of the bias of patriotism or nationalistic fervor. I don't feel like a 'Canadian' or an 'American'. I tend to know more about USA than Canadians, and more about Canada than Americans. One thing I've noticed over the years is this thing Americans have about feeling superior to Canada due to America's auto-industry. Back in 1995 when I was travelling through Sacramento I got in an argument with this gay goth guy who had previously been a sandal-wearing commie pamphlet-hander-outer in San Francisco. For him it was clearly more about fashion than politics, but he repeated the canard about the American auto-industry being superior to the Canadian auto-industry (which he believed was non-existent). At that time I wasn't very knowledgable about such things so I wasn't able to argue the point effectively but I sure found it strange that this guy who still harbored mostly hardline communist opinions, was parroting a generally hardline conservative xenophonic canard. So this whole 'America's car industry is so superior' cuts across the entire political spectrum in USA. It's used to bolster a general claim that Canada's manufacturing sector is somehow inferior to America, not in scale, but in technological advancement, efficiency, and those sorts of things that make patriotic people feel patriotic about industry, I guess.
Now, I'm about to give you the facts, but before I do I want to stress that I'm not trying to patriotically 'stick up' for Canada. The reason I am informing you is because your Degrassi site is mostly hilarious, and much of that hilarity relies on your rapier wit, and there is plenty to make fun of about Canada, but when one of your jokes hinges on your unknowing ignorance, it's much less effective.
So here's the facts: The automotive industry in North America is centered around the Detroit/Windsor urban core. Windsor is a Canadian city right across the river from Detroit. The symbiotic relationship between the two cities in the automotive industry goes back to the very beginning of the automotive industry. Many of the 'Fords' and 'GM' cars driven by Americans in USA were built entirely in Canada, and shipped back across the river to Detroit. This is because the assembly lines in Windsor are able to churn out far more cars than the population of Canada needs. The population of USA is ten times the population of Canada. Which means, all other things being equal, the American economy would be ten times more powerful. That means American industry could be half as efficient, half as technologically advanced, and STILL outperform Canada's industry. (I'm not saying American industry IS half as efficent or half as technologically advanced, I'm just trying to point out to you that the power of USA is in population, not some nebulous superior means of doing things). So, while many of the 'domestic' cars on your roads were built in Canada, you don't consider them to be 'foreign' cars, because they say 'Ford' or 'Chrysler' on them. BTW, my great-grandfather taught William Chrysler how to drive, so I know what I'm talking about! (actually, I know what I'm talking about because I browsed the Canadian Encyclopedia before writing this, but my great-grandfather really did teach William Chrysler how to drive - and Chrysler asked him to partner with him in business, but my great-grandfather thought Chrysler didn't have much a future).
Anyway, if it somehow makes you feel better to think all cars driven in Canada are 'foreign' and all cars with domestic marques driven in USA are made in USA, have at it. But the fact is Canada's manufacturing sector is just as 'good' in every way, except scale, as USA's. Before all the car companies were consolidated last century, Canada had a bunch of car companies just like USA did, and just like in USA, they all eventually got absorbed by GM or Ford. Canada also has one of the world's premier commercial airline manufacturers (Bombadeir). Of course, the fact is on both sides of the border these industries are frequently propped up by the govt. with taxpayer dollars. And the fact is, China sells more Chinese cars than GM and Ford put together. It's just a matter of economies of scale, nothing to wave your flag over. Canada doesn't have a large enough population to support a modern 'canadian' auto marque. Big deal, that seems to matter a lot more to some Americans than it does to any Canadians. I remember in the 80s when people used to make fun of the Soviet 'Lada' car because it was built with none of the computerized technology of the day, essentially being built to 1960s technological standards. But that was because it was built to withstand the conditions of Siberia, and it came with a toolkit so that the owner could fix just about anything that could ever go wrong with it. It was built with completely different utility in mind, so the people who made fun of it just ended up looking ignorant at best, foppish at worst (and what with the constant harping over Marco, I know the last thing you'd want to appear to be is foppish!).
Like I said, there are plenty of things about Canada to make fun of, even relating to cars. Like our only cross-country highway, for example, hundreds of miles of which is single-lane in both directions, and has several stop-lights along its length.
BTW, since I consider myself to be superior to most people, I also consider my time to be very valuable, so normally I would not waste my time writing this much text to a single person in email, but these days about 90% of the diatribes I post to the net get deleted by overzealous censors so nobody ends up reading it. At least by responding to you I know one person might be exposed to my opinion.
I will not censor your manifesto because a nearly 40 year old man who not only watches teen dramas but sends long emails to websites that make fun of teen dramas regarding a single joke about the Canadian automobile industry is likely the same kind of person who will hunt me down and steal my skin for not printing his email.
I forgot to cover this in my email to you of a few months ago about the 'foreign/domestic' car thing (which by the way, I was wrong about - they are called import or domestic in Canada and that is how they are referred to on Degrassi, which certainly makes more sense since cars that are domestic in USA are not imported to Canada, they are also built in Canada. But I was wrong when I said fully assembled cars are shipped from Canada to be sold in the USA, that does not happen due to tarrifs, so the Canadian car market is fact technically a 'parts market', they build full cars, but ship them unassembled across the river to be assembled in USA. And up until the deterioration of the British Empire, American car factories in Canada supplied the British Empire with all the 'American' cars they needed/wanted.
Anyway getting back to frosh, which I just saw them use again on Degrassi, which reminded me that I forgot to tell you about it. The word frosh is not a Canadian thing, it is a college/university thing. It definitely started in USA, and is a bit of a nostalgic 1950's word that isn't used as much anymore. Canadian post-secondary students, always trying to mimmick their cool neighbors to the south, picked up on 'frosh' and never ditched it to revert back to 'freshman'. Canadian post-secondary pop-culture looked to america's college pop-culture for icons even more than Canadians do in general. And Canadians rarely come up with their own pop-culture icons. Besides 'eh', and Chinook slang from the west ('hoser' doesnt count, it was invented by Bob & Doug McKenzie), Canadians either got their slang words from USA or Britain. And since 'frosh' is unknown in Britain, it came from USA.
By the way, I think there is a tendency revealed in your Boycott the Caf blog (which as I stated in my previous email, I am a fan of) that you think you are more worldly and knowledgable than you are. This is why when you hear a term that is unfamiliar to you on Degrassi, you assume it is a Canadian thing, rather than a thing you just haven't had contact with. If Eucre, for example, wasn't popular in eastern USA (it definitely isn't popular at all in western Canada), you would've likely assumed it was a Canadian thing if you had never heard of it before. I assumed it was an east-coast fad when I saw it on Degrassi, which you confirmed in your blog. Fads in North America generally go in a south-north direction up the coasts, rather than east-west. And especially in the east where most of the population of both countries resides in a much smaller geographic space.
Thank you for taking more of your valuable time to send us another long email about a joke that Billy spent less time thinking about than you did.
Subject:re: frosh again
Oh ya I forgot to mention, here in western Canada, freshmen are not called 'frosh', but there is a thing in universities (not so much colleges) called 'frosh week' at the beginning of every school year, a period in which people called 'freshmen' are supposed to be hazed. Using 'frosh' to refer to a person rather than a week may be a Toronto thing. We like to think that people in Toronto do stupid things, have stupid accents, and coin stupid slang (again, only a modern phenomena). Their sportscasters are the ones responsible for giving Vancouver the lame nickname 'Vancity', which is the name of a bank/credit union based in Vancouver.
In my experience Toronto is way more awesome than the rest of Canada. Degrassi takes place in Toronto for example. What do you have to say about that Jeffy boy? Also I visited Toronto once and it was cool. We ate at a Japanese restaurant run by Koreans and the museum had a bunch of swords in it. I declare Toronto the Mecca of Canada. If I didn't hate dollar coins I would move to Toronto right now. All hail Toronto the shining bastion of civilization in the great northern wastelands!
Subject: purple grimace??
Wow you blew it on the 'purple dragon' episode! Purple Grimace?? Is Boycott theCaf suddenly catering to a demographic younger than the characters in the show?? And even going so far as to photoshop Grimace into one of your Degrassi screenshots in the right font, such dedication! It was quite obvious that 'purple dragon' was a thinly veiled euphemism for 'erect penis'. Emma proved at the end of the episode that a 'Purple Dragon' girl only has to undress in order to evoke the 'purple dragon'. This, combined with the thong we Canadian viewers got to see strapped between Emma's buttcheeks should have garnered this episode an A+, rather than the F that was only a result of your own (below BtC's usual quality) Grimace campaign.
You are too old to be talking about teenagers underpants. I'm too old to be talking about teenagers underpants. It's weird. Also the episode got an F because of the new people and how much they suck. We were fully aware of Emma's panties. Also the episode made no sense and was stupid so it still deserves an F.