Degrassi Mailbag #23
I am going to round out the remainder of the 2008 emails so we can get the inbox ready for the 2009 emails. With the length of time we take to respond, anyone who sends us an email in January of 2009 can expect to hear back from us sometime in November 2009.
From: Sandy B
Subject: 8th Season of Degrassi Seriously. What it says in the subject. The writers can't get any work anywhere else. so there is an 8th season of Degrassi. And if you see the previews on the-n.com, it shows Jane being all like "I am on the boys football team." And Peter being all like "I am coming out of the closet." And Darcy's sister being all like, "I am smart so I don't like boys but crap that one is hot." And Salve Ma Jury and Anya the Lapdog getting condoms and Anya's priest catching Anya getting condoms. That episode looks awesome, cuz then the priest is gonna make fun of her for getting condoms and getting pregnant and not being able to get an abortion cuz she's Catholic. That amuses me.
Damn right Peter needs to come out of the closet--him and Derek and Danny. The three of them act like guys who can't admit they are gay so they cover it up by acting as horny and as perverted towards women as possible so no one will suspect they are homosexual. Peter has dated quite a few girls and he is still a virgin unlike every other non-Toby male who has dated a girl for more than one episode. Deep down he knows that touching a vagina would be as gross to him as touching cat vomit, but he won't be true to himself. Also he kissed a dude. He sure seemed open to a relationship with that guy, if you ask me. Derek and Danny went after that Rachel girl for one episode, but they gave up on that really quick, even after one of them was going to date her. That also explains why Derek was so violent to Jane when she joined the football team. He was looking forward to being around all those buff guys and then a girl comes in and spoils the man soup.
This also explains why the Peter, Danny and Derek always make out when they are alone together.
From: Anna G
Subject: umm So I read the "101 things a college girl should know" review you posted, and I especially liked your idea of putting John Stamos posters above my bed, to get my own room. but I didn't have any John Stamos posters (wtf, I know!) and so I stuck a portrait of Bob Saget up there. it didn't really work, but it's still tite.
Crikey. With the internet and a printer, you can have all the posters of John Stamos you want, as long as they are 8" by 11" and heavily pixilated. I hung up some internet pictures of John Stamos in my freshman dorm room. At least I think I did, my freshmen year is kind of a haze. I remember I drank a lot of blue stuff random people handed to me. I think I spent a lot of time in the girls dorms. Also, I don't seem to recall wearing pants that often. And then I think I had to register with some website down at the courthouse. That must have been for spring registration.
Subject: Fantastic. I swear I'll never watch another ep. of Degrassi again; I'm just gonna read your synopsis for each release. Shit is hilarious, keep it up!
Shit is not at all hilarious.
But he tries at least. I'm sure he appreciates your encouragement.
Subject: Paige's mom Did you guys ever notice how when you finally meet Paige's mom in "Free Fallin'," she is accent-free, however back in "I Want Candy," when Paige answers her cell phone pretending to be her mother, she for some reason sounds like Rick's crazy ghost mom?
Paige was probably imitating her other mom.
From: mtvgeneration21Hello friends,
I just have to say that your website is the most amazing thing I've ever seen. Every time i read a review from you guys I cry from laughing so much and just about pee myself... just a little every time :D. My friends and i love it because its just about what we say about the episodes. Thank you so much for the wonderful reading you have given me.
You are welcome sir. As someone who had such a problem wetting himself that I had to wear a diaper until the 8th grade, I take pride that you were able to hold it in. I tip my wineglass to you, good sir.
From: Andrew W
About the episode, Holiday, where you say the other girl Joey was dating was hotter than Caitlin, If you like that other girl that Joey was dating so much, you date her!
No. Unlike you, I can seperate reality from fiction.
Subject: SNL sketch? You're right. I can't find the roommate sketch ANYWHERE. I did learn it was called "mistaken roommate" though.
Be APPRECIATIVE. I tried to find this for like an hour.
Actually it took me about 5 minutes with my super duper google skills. But I tend to lie about things so it's okay.
I did this why? Because you haven't reviewed an episode this week and I'm extremely bored without them.
There is obvious a conspiracy on the part of the internet to not have any clip of that SNL sketch. It must be one of those segments NBC banned from further broadcast like when Sinéad O'Connor ripped up the Pope's picture or when David Spade accidentally pooped his pants.
From: Laura M
Subject: Kevin Smith I have very unfortunate news. Of course, this may be inaccurate, but my source is generally reliable: I hear Kevin Smith is coming back to Degrassi. I guess it has just been too long since his last appearance back in the days of season five, and he is back for more. Jason Mewes is with him, of course, so maybe he'll hit on some underage girls when he comes. Could lighten things up. I think that they are back to make a sequel to their first movie there. I heard Paige will be big in it. Meh, who knows? I mean, the girl isn't even around this season.
Anyway. Thought I should spread the word.
Considering that he is someone who actually has a career in Hollywood as well as a family, Kevin Smith still needs to get a life.
From: jessica h
Subject: Proof that everyone in Degrassi needs an STD test. Alright, I'm not gonna lie, I'm not original. I got this idea from a chick who made one but only went up to season six. I decided I would be a bitch and one up her and make one that starts at season one and goes all the way up until where we are now in season eight (Lost In Love Pt II -- Pretty good episode, lots of Spinner <3). Anyway, I started with the season one characters in a circle and connected them together, which was kind of hard but not too daunting. Then I eventually had to branch out and add season two and so forth. The graphic itself was extremely easy (I would like to thank The-N.com, however, for eliminating the need for me to crop most of these pictures myself, and therefore allowing me to go batshit crazy over this.) and NOT made in MS Paint, but connecting the characters got really hard when it got cluttered and it wasn't so easy to match up. The line colors are as follows: Black = Actual relationship - I think that's self explanatory. Red = Crush - Basically someone had a crush on someone else and nothing really came of it, but nothing past first base. Blue = Hook up - Basically if it was said, shown, inferred, or completely obvious, they fooled around. I know a lot more people on the show have had sex, but most of it was while they were dating so I connected them with black lines. Also, I love how Claire, KC, and Connor are not connected to anyone in Degrassi but themselves. They suck. I don't know what's sadder, the fact I was so fucking anal about this, or the fact I didn't need google or anything and I did that off the top of my head?
I have too much time on my hands.
Good job, Jessica H. That's like the Chart from The L Word, except that The L Word is a well written show with believable stories based on the logical actions of a well developed pool of characters, and Degrassi is a piece of shit. There are a couple of mistakes in your graph because there is no black line going from JT to Toby or Danny to Derek.
Claire, Connor and KC have only been on the show a brief time so they haven't had the time to form relations with people outside their circle. Even if they had been on the show longer they would still have to keep to themselves because they are too lame for the others. And that is saying a lot when Peter and Salve are among the others.
You think you're sad? How much time do you think it takes to make a website to this show? The only person who is sadder is Andrew W with his Terri fetish.
Subject: Carry On My Wayward Son I really liked your Degrassi Script thing but I?noticed a small mistake. In Act 2 Scene 1, Part 1 it says: CAMERA SHOWS JIMMY EXIT VIA AN AUTOMATIC RAMP, JOINED BY ASHLEY, WHO WHEELS HIM ABOUT.
How was Jimmy on the trip if he was in detention?
Since when do you expect consistency in a Degrassi episode?
Subject: Spinner's Gay Season 4 Haircut I know how you say in Season 4, Spinner has a gay haircut and looks like a girl. You are right. He and Manny were confused for lesbian lovers. they are featured on this advertisement for Proposition 8. It is in the attachment. I know it's stupid.
That most certainly deserves a Bronze Boner, our website's prestigious award. Here ya go!
While we are at it, here are some messages from our Myspace mailbox.
From: Lady C
Subject: isn't jay poor? if jay's poor then why can he afford a different car each season? in season three he had a black civic (hehe that's a palindrome) sorry about that. anyways in season 4 he had an orange, actually i don't know what kind of car it was. i just know it was orange. & now his car is a yellow whatever i can't tell with cars i just know the cute sporty kinds. the point is that jay is to poor to afford a new car every year. then again, it could be the same car. for all i know their all civics. poor people can afford paint jobs right? (we all know he can afford blow jobs) all right that's all
This is a really old message, but no time like two years later to answer it. The fictional reason is that Jay works at a garage so he can steal any car he wants and just cover up his crime by declaring the car totaled in his paperwork.
The real world reason Jay has a different car is that the actor who plays Joey Jeremiah, Pat Mastroianni, used to steal things from the set to sell on ebay. At first it was mostly small items like articles of clothing or school supplies. The producers mostly looked the other way to this theft because they knew being an actor on the show doesn't pay well. But one day they found Jay's car missing from storage. It was nowhere to be found anywhere on the studio lot. Finally, someone looked on Pat's ebay store and found the car listed there. It had already been sold, so the producers had to get Jay a new car. They also fired Pat.
From: JC D
Subject: You got a shout out You guys got mentioned on a Degrassi podcast at Degrassi official website. The writers of Degrassi did a podcast and they said they check out your website all the time.
Wow, that is nice to know. I'm glad they visit this site considering that we constantly harp on how bad the writing on the show is.
From: Klep ALTHOUGH I DO ENJOY THE SHOW.. UR POINTS AND COMMENTS MAKE SO MUCH SENSE I CANT HELP BUT DIE LAUGHING!!! LOL
UR BLOGS ARE THA SHIT! KEEP DOIN UR THING MAN!
Subject: Dear "Johnny Dangerous" Hi! how are you today! i would like to thank you writers for always giving me something to read, not just on boycott the caf, but dumb baby as well.
guess that is what this message is about. you should really consider writing a novel. Your "Taking a walk" was very well written, very entertaining. the writting style is silly, random, yet intelegent. it could easily be part of a novel.
anyway yeah if you wrote one i would buy it. but highlight the good parts so i don't have to read the boring parts.
yeah uhm i apologize if this is wierd. but hey i am just trying to avoid studying. and get you to write a novel. i will make you cookies!
People sure do like to email Johnny to tell him how funny he is and how much they enjoy it when he reviews episodes instead of me. Well, I get fain mail too, check it out.
From: CAROL GREEN YOUR MOM
Subject: YOUR WEB HELLO BB. I FINALLY SAW YOUR WEB YOU TOLD ME ABOUT. IT TOOK ME AWHILE BECAUSE THE COMPUTER YOU GOT ME WASNT WORKING. THERE IS THE BUTTON IN FRONT TO TURN IT ON BUT I KEPT ON PRESSING IT AND IT DID NOT TURN ON. I THOUGHT IT WAS BROKEN. I ASKED MY NEIGHBORS SON WHO IS GOOD WITH COMPUTERS TO HELP ME FOR MONEY. HE LOOKED AT IT AND IT TURNS OUT IT WAS NOT PLUGGED IN. HE PLUGGED IT IN AND I PAID HIM 20 DOLLRS AND I LOOKED AT YOUR WEB. FIRST YOU WERE NOT A DUMB BABY. I REMEMBER YOU WERE ABLE TO READ AS SOON AS YOU WERE NINE. SECOND I DO NOT LIKE ALL THE SWEARING I DID NOT RAISE YOU LIKE THAT. SOME OF WHAT YOU HAD ON YOUR WEB WAS FUNNY I GUESS. I HAVE TO LEAVE YOUR WEB NOW I AM GOING TO TAKE A SURVEY TO WIN A 50 DOLLAR GIFT CARD FROM APPLEBEES ON THE WEB. WE CAN GO TO APPLEBEES.
Fuck yeah mom.
From: The Degrassi Resource hey you mind if i put a link to your site on my page??
Go ahead. Turns out the new rule on the internet is you have to get permission before you can link to a website.
Subject: RE$$dude do have ashely from degrassi yes or no
Even if you had used any punctuation in that message, I still doubt I would be able to understand it.
From: DanaOkay guys, with season 8 having just started and me digging a grave for it when I saw the first preview, I want to know what you guys think the new season will be like. It looks like significantly less Spinner and significantly more new characters that we don't care about.
Opinions, predictions, last words in honor of the show?
I wish the show had been cancelled three years ago.
Subject: Lesbian Degrassi RPG = South of Nowhere? http://community. livejournal. com/degeydegrassi/ Came across this when looking for spoilers.
Lesbian Degrassi fan fiction. That's H-O-T hot. Also P-O-O-R-L-Y poorly written. I like that they title is "Degrassi Community School;; for lesbians!" The semi-colon is a decoration now. I was intrigued most by this post:
FYI, when posting porn, leave the "Adult Content" setting alone - leave it to Journal Default. just change the viewable setting to Friends Only. 10-4?
Yeah, sorry. Unless you're a player you don't get to read the porn. How's that for incentive!
I am curious as to how they made Degrassi porn. Very curious. But not curious enough to have a Livejournal account.
From: [account deleted]
Subject: one last clip for you Why did you sign out last night? Just becuz I didnt show you my cam? Geez, why are you so sensitive? Anyway I have recorded a clip for you (*sigh~*)and this is the last time you are gonna watch me nude cuz Im just sick of it! Anywayz Watch me here27
That's the girl who lives across the street from me. She has a big bedroom window that faces the street, so I am always watching her dress. She does not like this, but the police have to catch me in the act to do anything and I always hide when she calls them. She's given up and agreed to put on a strip show from her window every once and awhile so I will leave her alone the rest of the time. Also she had her boyfriend beat me up one time.
From: Lisa Love your site! I was wondering if you guys are as annoyed by the fact they haven't mentioned anything about Paige yet this season as I am. Aren't we supposed to find out if she AIDS and is going to die soon? Anyway, thanks for the entertainment :)
Paige probably already died.