Sender: Genna S
my friend met ellie at a mall tour. she tried to get her 10 year old brother to tell her that she helped him stop cutting. when they couldnt stop laughing, she asked what was so funny and they told her what he was supposed to say. instead of laughing about how hilarious that is, she said that's not funny and was rude. she's a bitch.
While watching "dressed in black" I noticed something sort of weird?
In the scene where Toby & JT are online, freaking out about Spinner wanting to rearrange Toby's face, I noticed the screen saver on the other computers. It's a picture of the front of degrassi & then a giant picture of Snake fly out of it.
Anyway, I didn't know who else to tell this to.
Dearest Boycott The Caf,
Now that I do not work at Degrassi anymore ----- I can let you know how awesome your website is. Except for lately..... well actually since season 8 started. Yeah, you may hate the show now, but your reviews are so ridiculous now. Ridiculously horrible. I used to read your website and laugh my ass off because they were so hilarious. It was actually a major high point for me to read them. Now I don't even see why you bother because I'm hardly even amused anymore (I guess as you are with the show). YOU MADE A COMMITMENT to watch every episode and critique them with your awesomeness, and that has definitely gone downhill. In my opinion, your reviews are just as lame as you consider the show to be.
I'm sure other fans would agree that we want to see that old, shall I say, sparkle that accompanied your old reviews. And I'm sure you will put this in the mail bag and make fun of me but I really don't give a shit.
But like I said in my first statement, your website was an amazing discovery for me to come across one day a few years ago. And I will tell you that the people who work there know who you are (and where you live, okay, only Mr. Simpson). And well the guy who played Peter didn't know who you were either, so maybe it was only the behind the scenes people.
Have a sexy day,
It's cool when we hear from people who work on the show. I remember the first email I ever got from a Degrassi employee. Several years ago, some writers emailed us to say that they enjoyed our writing and agreed with what we had to say because they hated their jobs. I wanted to post their message, but worried that the crazy cat lady who runs Degrassi and used to be a shop teacher would find out her writers betrayed her and get mad and call the police to say they were playing "the rapping" music too loud and then write letters to the editor all day. Also, there was that time the agent for Jake Epstein and Sarah and some other people sent us a large photo of Jake Epstein standing by the De Grassi Street sign looking uncomfortable. You people at Degrassi HQ are weird. Send us more free merchandise so we can have another contest, like that time you guys, for some reason, thought we were a good place to review your silly book.
As for our latest reviews not being up to the high standards of a woman who works on a show where two guys peed on each other, well, all I can say is I clearly don't enjoy reviewing the show anymore and I'm sure it does come through in the quality of the reviews, since I do spend a lot of time bitching about how much I hate the show in my reviews. I've also been busy with other writing projects that have taken time away from Degrassi. I spent most of 2009 laboring over a spec script for Lost. You work in TV, so do you know if the Lost producers are going to hire any new writers for the next season? Because I am sure my script will get me in. It involves Hurley and Miles going back in time to the island during dinosaur times.
But until then, I should get ready as Season 9 of Degrassi is set to resume soon after a six year long absence. After all, if I didn't review hundreds of Degrassi episodes, I would have to go out and find a girlfriend or look for a job. No way, ma'am. I am going to stay inside, wrapped in a blanket and hunkered over my computer, my one true friend.
Sender: Kelly B
I love your website, although it often gets in the way of me getting actual work done...
Embarassing story, a friend of mine and her boyfriend had a housewarming party a while ago and the three of us are avid degrassi viewers, so we came up with the idea of a degrassi themed party. However, none of the other guests were familiar with the show and we were the only three dressed up. This wasn't so bad, she was Emma so she just had a shirt on about saving dolphins or something, and he was Craig so he just carried around a guitar and a bag of sugar he pretended was cocaine. I however was Manny, so there I was in a very slutty outfit, and it was my first time meeting a lot of her boyfriend's friends, so as I introduced myself I had to say, "I'm dressed as Manny from Degrassi, I don't normally dress like this" and a few who were familiar with the show were like oh ok! but trying to explain this to people who had no idea what Degrassi was proved to just be useless.
Hence, I just ended up being dressed incredibly slutty at the party and made a poor first impression on everyone I met that night.
Season 9 is absolute shit, but I appreciate the reviews! Thank you!
I want to host a Degrassi party someday. I will dress up in a while shirt with a large black circle. I will be a Plot Hole, Degrassi's most popular character.
Sender: Matthew L
I know you guys are aware of Aubrey Graham's rap career, but your article on his life after degrassi is a little dated. Without even releasing an album yet, he has already managed to ad "awful rapper" to his resume, along with "awful actor" and "basketball enthuist." His rapping is pretty poor, and includes such ground-breaking topics as basketball, how hard it was for him to succeed in the "bizniz," despite having ready made connections from his Degrassi career/ exposure with his on show rapping, and of course measuring his success by the amount of ill will it generates, or "haters." Also, according to Wikipedia, "Drake is good friends with many of his Degrassi cast-mates, particularly Shane Kippel, who played his best friend Spinner Mason on the show." Being friends with the guy who plays Spinner is more notweorthy than having a moderately successful rap career. Shane Kippel should have a music career, if he ever releases an album it will undoubetably go 1000000x platinum, driving every other musician out of buisniss, or "biznazzz" as Aubry Graham puts it.
Hey, did you guys know that you rock? Because you totally do. Rock on with your Degrassi badass-ness. I nearly hurt myself and scared my parents with my epic loling while reading all the reviews in about twenty four hours. Just thought I'd let you know.
Anyway, I have a question.
How come you didn't review Degrassi Goes Hollywood? was it really THAT bad? But I think if you could get through the rest of season 8, you could get through it right?
Thanks for the attention, if you two decide to grace me with it ;)
That was my jar of mayonnaise, you motherfucker!
How dare u put our flag below ur garbage. U aint no Canadian. May u get wat's comin 2 ya. I hope they beat ur ass DOWN. U write behind anonymity! If u evn had the balls--cast ur h8-speech as "jokes" my ass--2 so much as even DREAM bout THINKIN bout sayin wat shit u bn spewin online within my earshot, n u, u joke, my pathetic excuse-for-a-"Canadian"-friend, will be bloodied. Make cracks n lil quips bout bashers, eh? I hope wen they get u they get u 4 sumthin like ur left-handedness or ur gray eyes or because u eat lobster or wear polyester--all of which were "Biblical" "abominations" written alongside homosexuality--u nasty, sick lil Fascist ratbastard. It's guys like u, who, I think, should b raped. 2 say it in on ur level, check out a study that said that only bi's, gay men, n men deemed homophobes, got hard by "gay" "stimuli." U will never comprehend wat it's like 2 submit urself as a publically subjugated minority; solely as a lover-of-men. The only funny "joke" on ur site is the jackass douchebag wart on our very genes ASSHOLE who WRITES it n thinks it's funny.
Sender: Lindsay A
Hello there, I'm Z.
I've only recently found your website and numrous times I've nearly peed myself laughing. Comedic genius is what your website is. And I agree with the majority of your jokes. Ashley is a huge cunt, Liberty needs to get stabbed many times with a rusty broken golf club and left to die in an ice cold river, and Spinner is the manliest of men.
I hope you continue to revamp and add to your website. Even if some Degrassi fangirl is all, "OMG, DEGRASSI RULZ AND U GAIS R JUST SO MEEN AND SUXORZ!!!"
Good job on making me laugh until I almost peed myself, that rarely happens...
Sender: autumn c
Dear Johnny and Billy,
My friend Kelly and I like to pound beers while watching Degrassi and laughing at it's rediculousness. ( Actually I am doing that right now as I type. I just want to throw in that Ashley is a dumb bitch.) I thought we were alone in our Degrassi love/hate relationship until Kelly introducded me to your amazing website. We are in love with it. So, I'm just going to get straight to the the point -
Let's get married.
We can watch Degrassi all day and drool over Spinner while discussing creative ways for Liberty to die. It will be marital bliss. So...Let's do it! ...Although, I must warn you...if you do marry Kelly and I, you will have to deal with our impromptu down syndrome dance parties. Yes, they happen. And no, we do not really have downs. We just like to call them that. I think you might actually enjoy them though and would probaly take part in them. They are contagious fun.
So, what do you say? Will you marry us?!?
P.S. I don't mind the giraffe spots. I think it's sexy, kinda.
P.P.S We are not 13. We are sexy bitches in our early twenties and we are 110% intense. This is the real deal.
I had to give away my dog today because we are moving to an apartment and can't take him with us. I have been sobbing all day. Then I stumbled across your site. Soon I was laughing so hard I was once again crying but this time in a good way. Thank you so much for making a super hard day just a little bit easier =)
Sender: Audrey R
okay, seriously. i dunno what it is. but you guys are hilarious. how old are you two? also, i love your site. and you two. oh, im 16. god, its like where are all the guys like you? haha, i just got voted homecoming queen and for some reason i though of you guys. like, what you guys would say if somebody got voted homecoming queen on degrassi. it was so strange. but like, funny is hot. really hot.
Sender: Emma S
hi mii nme iisz emma. ii luv yewr sho and hope to merry petr. hesz szo cuuuute! :D i hate spiner tho. he iisz fgly. kiick him off plzz.
&manni iisz szo kewll. she'sz perttyy. ii wiiszh ii l00ked liikee hur. emma [not me lmao] iisz ok too. tell hur she'sz pretta. kc is a cutie. clar is pretta 2. allisz a biiznatch. ii fucking hate herr. holly j iisz soo kewl! i wanna b lyke hur. evry1 wnts 2 b hurr. evry1 else, wel fuck you cuzs idc.
but now letsz talck aboot spiner. hesz a waszte of szpacee. wha isz he, a pedofiul? hesz nut evun kute. peter is betterr. i hope jane breaksz up w/ hisz sorry, ugly aszsz.
ne way, iim done talckiing aboot tha l0sr.
ii hav a good idea; spiner gatsz ron ovr bii a raiindear and diieszz. evry1 thrsz a party cusz hesz fiinally dead.
wait, 1 mo thiing...
Did you believe any of this? I really wanted to pretend to be an obnoxious person and it's be fucking hilarious if you saw this. Well, no. Not really. More like stuff I randomly find funny at midnight.
&before you kill me for hating Spinner, I love Spinner. He's my favorite character, and I know how much you guys love him, so I decided to fake hating him. We all know Spinner kicks ass.
I also decided to be one of those idiots to pretend that you're a writer or something. Obviously, your not, because the show would be ten times cooler if you were writer. Then again, it'd probably be a porno if you got your way, and I don't think the 14 year old girls' mothers would appreciate that. Plus, it's more fun watching [reading...?] you make fun of it.
Bottom line, I hope this message didn't piss you off. Your site is amazing and I read it all the time. You guys are comedic geniuses.
-Emma [yeah, that's my real name. Don't worry though, I'm cooler then Emma Nelson, but I'm not cooler then the dolphin pants. That's impossible, unless your Spinner. Or God.]
If any more of you losers who work on the show are reading this, I want a pair of dolphin pants. You have them in storage somewhere, no doubt. It's the least you can do for all the hours of entertainment I have provided by telling you that you suck at your jobs. If you are asking what I would do with them, well, I'd wear them. Yes, I would wear them. I bet I could. I may be twice Emma's age when she was in her dolphin pants phase, but I have a cousin who is currently that age and I can fit into her jeans just fine, thank you very much.
What? No, crotch space isn't a problem! Why would it be?
Sender: Sarah I
Hey I liked your review of Shoot to Thrill, but I noticed at the end you said that Jane got naked while Ms. H was principal and that never happened. I bet you meant Alex since she was a stripper for one episode. Alex even thought that Ms. H knew about it, not that she could do anything since it's not on school property.
It's too bad that Miriam is the only one to follow after her character and get naked on camera. Of course I'm sure that Cassie will follow.
Sender: Macy S
Apparently Nina Dobrev was caught flashing on a bridge in Georgia with the cast of her new show "Vampire Diaries".
The fab five -- including Nina Dobrev, Candice Accola, Kayla Ewell and Sara Canning from "Vampire Diaries" -- were all arrested on August 22 after cops say they received 911 calls from people claiming a few hotties were "flashing motorists" and "hanging" from a bridge in Smarr, GA.
The police report, obtained by The Smoking Gun says the lovely ladies were taking part in a photo shoot set up by a guy named Tyler Shields -- who was also arrested that day.
All six were booked for disorderly conduct and charged with a total of $4,000 in fines -- TSG says Tyler paid the whole tab.
Sender: Becca K
I've prepared a nice little list for you:
#1. She gets fatter as the seasons progress.
#2. Her father has unheathly feelings about her weight and image (He's the only guy who could ever have sex with Terri)
#3. Her last name is MacGregor. Now we know why she is obssesed with McDonalds.
#4. She practices the satanic arts, yet wears a cross necklace in some sences.
#5. The last episode she was seen in was "I Want Candy". That just shows how much she eats.
#6. Terri was the first regular to leave the show. See how much the ratings shot up after she left?
#7. She really is fat as fuck.
#8. ***Every girl in Degrassi history has had atleast 2-4 boyfriends, while Terri has only had Rick.
#9. She is also mentioned in a season 7 mini episode, " Degrassi Party Etiquette - Rule #3" in which Spinner reveals that she was his best kiss, after having to decide between his current girlfriend Jane and his exes, Darcy, Paige and Manny. Paige and Manny are shocked as Darcy and Jane question who Terri was. Now, what are you going to do? Ignore what Jesus- I mean Spinner says? The only reason she was his best kiss is because she is so fat, it must make her lips bigger. But even then, someone as amazing as Spinner couldn't like a such a fuckup like Terri.
In short, while you make fun of her, you fail to notice what a true fat fuckup she is.
***NOTE - The exeption to #8 is Manny, because she's been with everyguy, and a few girls.
Sender: Chris U
So it's almost Halloween, and I'm watching Are You Afraid Of The Dark, and I get to season six which I didn't watch the first time around (too busy dating girls and doin' drugs), and who the fuck is starring in the Sardo-enhanced episode titled "The Tale Of Oblivion" opposite that chick from Strange Days at Blake Holsey High?!?! DANIEL CLARK! That's right, motherfuckin' SEAN CAMERON HIMSELF! Albeit much shorter and less badass than we usually see him. Canada's a loosely populated country, so I guess the TV shows all have to share actors or something...
Dear random guy who does nothing but review a teenager show all day (and worship Spinner),
I have to say you are pretty cool for someone with basically no life. I was just wondering, are you gay? It seems like it because of how much you love Spinner. But hey, who doesn't love him? Even my little brother, who has seen like two episodes, knows that Spinner is boss. The only thing I don't like about your website is when you use innapropriate pictures. Then I can't read the reviews when I have other people in the room, plus I would rather see the pictures of the cast. And here is a suggestion for the next time you write a script; Spinner should take Declan under his wing, since Declan is the hottest person ever to be on Degrassi, or anywhere else in Canada for that matter. They should have a day of adventures together, maybe even make fun of Liberty all day. That would be an entertaining script, wouldn't it? Okay, well, you keep on writing those reviews! They always put a smile on my face, and make my family think I am crazy for laughing aloud at some random website.
I do not think of myself in such outdated terms as homosexual or heterosexual. I label myself a Spinnersexual.
Sender: Elisabeth D
Dear Billy Green,
We are one and one half hot, nubile young women from Manhattan who are amused by your pithy and poignant "Degrassi" observations. We would like to have sex with you. We don't care if you're unattractive, as long as you don't have a disgusting boil on the side of your face. That shit is gross. We are also willing to wear Shane Kipper masks during the sex act itself. In conclusion, we are endlessly grateful to your humorous site and would like to repay you with sexual favors. No anal.
Love, Cathy and EJ
Sender: Elisabeth D
P.S. By "One and one half hot, nubile young women" I meant to type "Jews." We are both full-on lady types. Unsure if this is a benefit or a drawback in your opinion, but the original tone of our e-mail still stands.
I wish that girls would maybe show interest in me in real life rather than solely over the web. Then maybe I would know what kissing is like. I am willing to take up your offer, lady types. I like the idea of being the least Jewish person in a room for once (I live in the Midwest). My conditions are thus:
- I want your apartment adorned with Hamtaro merchandise before I arrive. I will not set foot into your residence unless I see Hamtaro stuff. If you don't have any Hamtaro merchandise for some strange reason, I'm sure New York has many fine Hamtaro themed boutiques.
- We will each take the persona of a Ham-Ham while making love. Choose which ever Ham-Ham you like, boy or girl, but I call Sandy. And word to the WISE, don't pick Hamtaro. Everyone wants to be Hamtaro in bed, it's played OUT. I hope one of you will select Boss, cause I would like things to get a little rough.
- Print off three copies of a Hamtaro script from the web. The selection of the episode is up to you, but it is a good idea to choose one that features Sandy and your chosen characters heavily. I recommend one of the episodes that was only shown in Japan and features the Ham-Hams fighting dragons. It will be hot.
If you can satisfy these conditions then you can satisfy me.
I like you guys.
Darcy got raped
Marco is gay
Johnny put his cock in Alli's va JJ
Darcy got an STD
Alex whore became known as "Lextasy."
Clare found a dildo only for Jane to see.
hello there !
my name is kelly , & i am writing this email to express my love for you both ,
&of course your website .
firstly , i would like to thank you for making me laugh out loud at my computer screen ;
making me feel like i'm a victim of down syndrome .
secondly , i would like to thank you for letting me feel i do not hate myself so much for liking degrassi ,
&wanting to watch it as often as i would like to watch it .
how about that episode where j.t. does this kid's t.v. show &dresses up as a turkey ?
&fucking mr. simpson has to be a dick &show everyone in class !
how embarrassing !
in all seriousness , when you stop writing reviews ,
that's when i really know to stop watching this fucking show .
hey , you remember that scene where marco steals his dad's (super mario) money ?
pop leaves the kitchen to go get some lovely delrossi leftovers ,
that apparently are chilling in the freezer ...
why the fuck does he leave the kitchen ?
i bet the leftovers are in safe keeping under the delrossi's pillows .
i don't know . i know you don't .
even though this marco episode wasn't nearly as gay as the bunch ;
he was gambling with spinner &jay &being cool ,
instead of being gay with dylan &ellie .
that's it for now ..
stay sharp .
Sender: Maddie S
The episodes accidents will happen is shown in America I've seen it.
It's just not on the n you can seen it on mtv
Sender: Liv B
A guy that I know (who is over 30 years old, lives with his mom, and watches Degrassi) showed me this web site a couple weeks ago. I spent about a day doing nothing but reading the character summaries and the episode reviews. I can honestly say it has been a very long time since I had ever been able to laugh as hard as I have been, by coming to your site.
At this point I'm more excited about the episode reviews than the show in itself (because the show is shit now, and anyone who would think otherwise probably masturbates while reading Twilight). I noticed in the "Shoot to Thrill" episode, you mentioned a guy singing the new theme song. The theme song is now sung by Peter. Which I find hilarious and annoying all at the same time.
Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for all the laughs and keep them coming. :)
Sender: Stevo K
Hi Boycott the Caf,
In the episode where JT rips off Spinner's pants, I'm pretty sure he's wearing tear away pants:
kids used to wear these things all the time when I was in middle school, I think they're for basketball players who wear shorts underneath and need to rip the pants off really quickly or something. I'm sure that Spinner was wearing these so that the ladies could rip them off to have near instant access to his Spinnery goodness.
I noticed a review you fellas did on how the 'Degrassi guys measure up.' Question: How can Spinner masturbate if the tip of his dick is so friggin' far away? That would be way too hard (no pun intended.) Maybe the answer is obvious, but I'm a girl. It's not fair that guys have outdoor plumbing.
And if you feel your plumbing is unfair, I'd be more than willing to trade ya.
Sender: Cecilia C
Sender: Ashley F
Hey Johnny and Billy!
Now to the important part of my email. I was rereading the Broken Wings episode review, and I saw that Billy didn't feel like trying to fit in the fact tht Jimmy is from the future with the storyline. I do not blame you because if I had to review sucky episode of Degrassi over and overagain I would probably get distracted. Anyway I decided that I would try to link the two stories together. Billy you were wondering how Jimmy has so much money in his trust fund to fund a t-shirt store, a trip to Europe, and get a stem cell procedure done. I think this is because before he traveled from the future to present day Degrassi, he robbed many banks and took that money with him into the past and put it in his trust fund so that he could afford everything that he has done with the money. Feel free to tweek this because I am in no way as good as you guys are, and that is because I am a girl, and girls are weaker than boys.
Anyway, I have fun reading the people who think they are smarter than you and try to prove that they are right and you are wrong. Obviously they are wrong and that you are right. You are always right and you own us. You can do whatever the hell you guys want because, well, you run this site. If people don't like it then they can go to hell.
Okay so now I'll be a typical fan. Feel free to skip over this part because this will start to make the email lengthy. I love your site, and you are btoh mazingly awesome and funny! You are one of the only fansites about Degrassi: TNG that actually likes the show but enjoys mocking it as well. I also love that you guys are older and still enjoy Degrassi. I am 18 and have enjoyed Degrassi for many years but have never been into the whole teeny bopper "OMG I LOOOOOOOVE CRAIG" type of crap, mostly because people who are like that bug the living shit out of me.
Okay sorry this email was so damn long. I know I hate that and that you guys do too.
Oh and P.S.
I found this video on youtube and it has some great spinner moments:1:28-1:40
Spinner & jimmy diss craig
Jimmy slaps spinner’s ass
I saw ur reveiw on the episode touch of grey, yeah 1 brownie isn't enough to raise blood sugar to coma level, I know I'm diabetic I was eating sugary food for months before I was diagnosed and I was fin, no coma. So her passing out in total B.S.