Degrassi's Stupid Season 10 Circus Promo
Idiotic 14 year old Degrassi fans are wetting their Team Jacob underpants over a new promotional video for Degrassi's upcoming 10th season. It's set in a circus to the song "Shark in the Water" by VW Brown, a person I had to use Wikipedia to look up. She's older than me, and we're both too old to give a damn about pop music anymore.
It's pretty good, I must admit, and I've criticized
The-N TeenNick's pooptastic promos before. In fact, it looks like more effort went into this promo than the entire 9th season. Not that this means season 10 will be any good. We've been through this for nine season already: the promos will be exciting and tell us all sorts of intense things will happen in the coming season. Then the actual episodes will be boring. Seriously, look at some past season promos on Youtube to see what I mean. Remember how the promos for season 8 and 9 promised us a big bucket of awesomeness and intense drama but then those two seasons wound up being terrible? Yeah, this is why I doubt season 10 will be anywhere as good as this promo implies.
I've gotten several (2) messages asking us to write about the dumb promo. So I will. The video and most of these images are courtesy of that 36 year old virgin who runs the Degrassi news blog. Whenever I feel like am incredibly pathetic to be paying so much attention to this show at my age, I take relief in the fact that someone more than ten years older than me pays attention to the show ten times more than I do.
Here's my take:
It looks like Riley has a rival. Some new boy. The Degrassi blogger thinks the rivalry will be over who gets to be top jock at Degrassi. I think it will be over who gets to be pitcher and who has to be the catcher when they have hot gay man sex. It'd be easier if one of them was a femme, but they are both butches so they have to compete in feats of strength to determine who will insert and who will receive.
Are butch and femme used in gay guy world? I know they are lesbians terms, but what words do gay men use to refer to someone who is gay like Riley and someone who is gay like Marco?
This is a new character named Adam who, interestingly, will be played by a girl, Jordan Todosey (This is unless that Wikipedia page is inaccurate, which is may well be). Some fans have speculated that Adam may be a transgender youth, either a trans boy who goes by the name Adam, or a trans girl whose birth name was Adam. Either way there is no way the Degrassi writers will be able to pull this off. Better TV writers have taken a shot at transgender characters and fucked it up. Anyone remember Max from The L Word--a show that was much, much better than Degrassi? Remember how shitty they handled Max, especially in the last season when they turned him into pregnant man? Glee is so much better than Degrassi it is not even funny, yet the people who created Glee wrote two of the most incredibly moronic depictions of trans women ever in their prior projects. I could write an essay on trans depictions on television, so I'll save that for the future, in the event that this character even turns out to be transgender.
Suffice to say, crafting decent trans characters is very hard even for good writers, so I don't have high expectations for how the producers will be able to handle this. Maybe the writing staff will take that as a challenge and really bring it by giving us a strong, compelling, well developed trans youth character that trans kids can identify with, which does not exist in North American television. Or they can make this character uninteresting and inconsistent, like pretty much every other character they've written. I bet the latter will be the case.
I'll end this segment by saying that Jordan looks cute as a boy and a girl, which makes me kind of jealous.
Fiona's boyfriend will disappear. I guess this means that Declan will go missing.
Anya is a two faced girl. I don't know what that means, and it's Anya so I don't even care.
KC and that blonde girl will hook up. They will make a cute butch and femme couple. Are they an item right now, in season 9? I am not lying when I say I have not been paying close enough attention to this season to care. Blonde girl has a secret. I hope it is an STD. Degrassi was kickass when half the school got gonorrhea from Jay.
This kid is the new bully. He looks like the boy Riley will fuck up the ass. The Degrassi blogger says he is a different kid, but I disagree and think he needs to check his facts.
Gay bully will pick on Mini Connor and a new boy with a Jewfro. These two must be the new JT and Toby. Good. We need a new nerdy pseudo-gay couple who can't ever keep a girl. The Websters were a disappointment who were not fit to press the handle on JT penis pump. I bet Mini Connor will be the new JT because he can do alright with girls when he is on his own, and that time he peed on a guy was about as gross as using a penis pump in front of a girl. Jewfro will be the new Toby because they are Jews and you need your Jewish characters to be wimps. Fonzie and Spinner were played by Jewish actors, but neither of the characters were Jews. It's stretching the audience's ability to take a show seriously if a sex machine is Jewish.
Clare reads Tarot cards for a new boy. Clare gives him the lovers and death card. I choose to believe that Clare and this boy will become lovers and she will kill him. Her vagina is a pit of death.
Clare's vagina is the Sarlacc.
Riley's gay butt buddy kisses Alli. It will be so funny if she dates a gay boy for awhile.
Fiona puts on makeup and it looks like she has a black eye. If someone beat her, well, I don't condone it, but I understand.
We don't get any clues into what Holly J may do. She dressed as a circus ringleader and opens and closes the promo. This must mean that Holly J will continue to be the primary female of the show, which probably means that like Darcy and Mia, the actress who plays her will likely leave to star in a CW show next year.
The promo ends with a Roulette wheel with writing on it that tells us to expect "betrayal" and "love" and "poor acting" in the new season.
After seeing the promo, I stand by my earlier comment that season 10 will most likely still suck, regardless of how good this promo is. I mean, Degrassi isn't even that good of a show to begin with, people, and it's been on a quality decline for a few years now. And doubling the number of episodes in a season isn't going to somehow make the show any better. More likely, the quality will drop even furthur over a 48 freaking episode season.
I look forward to another long year of stiff acting to poor writing. Not that I can totally fault the actors for not being very good. One, it's not like they are given much to work with. Two, they are all really young. Most good TV shows about high school hire 23 year-olds to play 16 year-olds, not just for labor reasons, but because that's seven years or so of more training and experience an actor will have. Degrassi's hallmark has been to hire teenage actors who are around the age of their characters. That's nice for a 20-something viewer who always finds it weird when "teens" on other TV shows look as old as her, but even a good actor at 16 is still going to be pretty rough. I will say that the Degrassi actors are pretty good for their age. The writing is undertaken by full grown adults, so they have no excuse.