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Thank you for filling out Page 1 of the CW's Online Application Process for Actors on Degrassi: The Next Generation, Ms. Melinda Shankar. We appreciate your interest in joining the CW family. Before we can consider you for our next un-original drama series, we need you to complete the following online questionnaire so we can evaluate whether you fit in with the CW's image.

You are 25 percent complete

your login email is: browniegirl91@imail.ca and your password is: justinbieber

Are you a:

girl? CONTINUE with the application.

boy? STOP. The CW is currently only interested in hiring females from Degrassi: The Next Generation. Most of the current males on the Degrassi do not fit with the CW's interest in young men who are attractive and not in skinny, girly bodies.

Are you:

hot? CONTINUE with the application.

not? STOP. The CW is currently only interested in hiring hot women.

Are you:

thin? CONTINUE with the application.

fat? STOP. Fat women are not allowed on CW Network programming.

For real? Are you:

thin? CONTINUE with the application.

fat? STOP. Really. Keep in mind that fat on TV is different than normal fat. You must be a either a size 2 or 0 and have a BMI of under 14.7 to work on a CW show. If your rip cage isn't visible in a bikini, we cannot put you on air. If your rip cage doesn't stick out, you're a heifer. Go graze at McDonalds some more, you fat, ugly cow. Fuck you.

Are you:

21 or under? CONTINUE with the application.

older than 21? STOP. You are too old for the CW.

Are you:

acne free? CONTINUE with the application. You must being using Proactive ® Acne Solution!

with acne? STOP. You hideous monster.

Are you:

shorter than 5'7"? CONTINUE with the application.

taller than 5'7"? STOP. Tranny.

Are you:

able bodied? CONTINUE with the application.

physically disabled? STOP. Why do you even think you can become an actress? Christ.

Are you:

a blonde or brunette? CONTINUE with the application.

a red head? STOP. That's just gross.

Are you:

white skinned? CONTINUE with the application.

a person of color? STOP. The CW is currently only interested in actors who are white.

 

Thank you for your interest in the CW, Ms. Melinda Shankar. Unfortunately, you DO NOT meet the qualifications to be a CW Network star at this time.

Reason: We DO NOT accept minorities on CW Network programming.

Please feel free to re-apply as soon as you correct any of the physical flaws you have listed above.

by Billie Green