The Web BtC

My Correspondence with Lauren Collins

Lauren Collins plays megabitch Paige on Degrassi. At Lauren Collins's official website they list her email address and invite you to email her, so I did.

Date: Sat, 12 Feb 2005
From: "Billie Green"
Subject: How cool is Spinner?
To: "Lauren Collins"

Hi Lauren,

I am a big, big fan of Degrassi. You really great in that episode where Dean raped you. That was good acting.

Anyway, I was wondering if you know how I could email or regular mail Shane Kippel. As you know, there is no cooler cat than Spinner Mason. If I could get in touch with the man that said "Boycott the caf" and unleashed the beastwithin, I would melt.

Have fun with season 5, and don't forget to eat fruits. they prevent scurvy.

A month later, I got a reply.

Date: Thu, 17 Mar 2005
From: "Lauren Collins"
To: "Billie Green"
Subject: Re: How cool is Spinner?

Hey there,
Jokes e mail! I actually laughed out loud. So thanks for sending it and checking out my site. As far as getting in touch with Shane, your best bet is through I think. Hope that helps.

That's pretty awesome. How about the fact she thinks I'm funny. That should shut up all you fuckheads who always email me saying this site is not funny and we must not be real Degrassi fans. Well, guess who does think I'm funny. That's right: Paige Michalchuk herself. Take that that haters. Suck on it.

The story does not end there my friends, oh no. Lauren's website also has an address where you can send away to request an autographed photo, so I did around the time I sent the email. It didn't arrive by the time the email reply did, but I didn't give up hope.

Finally one summer day I received a small package from Toronto Canada of all places. Could it be? Did Paige send me an autograph?

She did!

Check that out. That's the photo I got back. Look what it said "XOXO", and Lauren there is looking all sexy. You know what this means. Paige wants to have sex with me. Yes she does. Man, I'd like to ram her hard like I was Dean.
by Billie Green