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It Looks Like You've Made It: Degrassi Success Stories

2. Nina Dobrev (Mia)

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Career: Actress
Can Be Found On: 90210 2 (CW)

Nina Dobrev was born in Bulgaria. Her family immigrated to Canada when she was 2. I don't know why they immigrated to Canada. I mean, I'm sure there isn't one working toilet in Bulgaria, so anyone has a good reason to leave, but why would you go to Canada next? Who moves to Canada? I assume her family applied to immigrate to the United States but were turned down and Canada was their fall back country. It's like when a high school senior has that one college she really wants to get into, but will still apply to a couple of others for safety. Canada will take anybody. Canada is the community college of the Western world.

It's weird because now Nina is working in the United States. And while it's unlikely she'll have an acting career past 30, if she does, she will have to live in California, which means if she doesn't apply for citizenship, she'll have to have a Green card or whatever kind of permanent residency we give to dirty foreigners. Her parents could have saved her some legal hassle if they were good enough to get into the US. Do we even allow Bulgarians into this country? I've never met any, so I think we don't. Isn't Bulgaria basically the Mexico of Europe? I should take that back, that is pretty insulting to Mexico. I mean, even the name of the country makes it sound like a dump. Bulgaria, ew. Rich countries tend to have pretty names: Italy, America, Holland, France; you know those are good places to live just by how they roll off the tongue. Now Rwanda, that just sounds like a country where people die horribly. If there was no country by that name, then Rwanda would be the perfect name for a horror movie. And Bulgaria? Bulgaria has to smell like ass. It sounds like you're burping when you pronounce that country.

After playing negligent mother Mia Jones on Degrassi for however many years she was on the show, Nina was hired by the CW for their new version of Beverly Hills 90210, 90210 2, making her the second Degrassi cast member to be recruited by the CW, after Shane Grimes. First off, what is with the CW never coming up with new ideas for TV shows? Second, Degrassi is like the AAA farm league to the CW's MLB. If you are attractive, can kind of act, and are white, just spend a few years on Degrassi learning the ins and outs of being on TV and maybe a scout from the CW will recognize your raw talent and recruit you for one of their remakes/spinoffs/ripoffs. Twice in a row, the CW has hired whoever was the main pretty girl on the Degrassi. Too bad for Cassie Steele that her time on Degrassi came before the CW existed, or she could be the star of Murphy Brown 2.0 instead of the night manager for a Tim Horton's. Ha ha, I'm just kidding. Cassie Steele doesn't really work in fast food. She has sex with men for money.

I wonder which Degrassi girl the CW has their sights on next. Alli fits the cute screwup model of Mia/Darcy/Manny, but the actress is browned skinned, so there is no way she is getting on the CW. Holly J is basically the current lead, but Holly J has freckles, so she's borderline ginger, which wouldn't fly on network TV these days. Have you ever seen how gingers look on HDTV? It's disgusting. People with freckles end up looking like they are infected with smallpox.

I am having a hard time figuring out how famous Nina is. 90210 2 is her only American credit, and her Wikipedia entry notes that she was in the opening sketch from 2010 Emmys, but Kate Plusayte from Kate Plusayte was on that sketch too, and I am pretty sure everyone in that bit is more famous than Nina.

If you watch it, you'll see that she is just barely in the sketch. All of the other celebrities get introduced by speaking a line or two and being in front of the camera for a few seconds. Nina just jumped into the background and started dancing along. I would not have known she was in it if people hadn't sent me messages saying so, and I still had to pause this video to find her. I bet she wasn't even scheduled to be in this sketch. I bet her agent told her that if she just starting hanging around the Glee kids in the background, eventually everyone would assume she was a cast member and she could join the show.

Glee is a very popular show, and I enjoy watching it. It got about 10 million viewers in its first season and I know it gets talked about a lot. I'm not sure how popular 90210 2 is, and I hate it. I've mentioned before how I fall into the age range of having been too old to watch Beverly Hills: 90210 back in the day, but I am now too old to ever watch 90210 2. The internet says that Nina's show averaged 3.6 million viewers in its first season. Now, The Daily Show gets something like 2 million viewers but it seems like a lot more people talk about that show (at least among the people I know). I'm sure plenty of 14-year-old retarded girls discuss Nina Dobrev all the time in their special needs classes, but my probation officer makes sure I can't go near them again to see if that's true. Christ, Mad Men gets, like, a million fewer viewers than Nina's show. That's sad. Fuck you, CW viewers. I am sure there are many people who watch both the CW and Degrassi, as well as visit this site. Well, if you watch anything on the CW, go away. I don't want you reading my website. You are retarded. And I hate you.

You know, everyone complains about how reality TV shows are destroying TV. Who cares? We all have cable. If Jersey Shore or The Bachelor is on one channel, you can watch 200 other channels that have something better on. And Top Chef rules. I want people other than me to start complaining about how many channels are devoted to shitty dramas about rich, skinny white girls.

I created a website about a stupid teen drama show, so now I constantly get message from people telling to me to check out Skins or Gossip Cunts or The Hill Cunts or 90210 Cunts or asking if I watch Pretty Little Lying Cunts or The Secret Life of the American Teenage Cunt. I don't watch any of those dumbass shows and never want to. They are all the same, the episodes all ripoff much better teen shows from the 90s and the actresses all look the same and you don't even know if all of them are over 18, which means you can't even safely masturbate while watching it. How many of those actresses will even be working past 30? Huh? How many? The CW, MTV, and ABC Family are the reason the world is going to hell. Nina Dobrev should be deported.

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Photo credit: Bulgarian woman http://www.flickr.com/photos/borderlys/121233424/