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Degrassi's People of Color Face Off!

Let's meet the players.

Team Africa

Captain: Jimmy. Muslim: Hazel. Point Guard: Chris. Power Forward: Conner. Teacher: Coach Armstrong. Reserve Players: Liberty, Chante, Webster.

Team Asia

Captain: Kendra. Muslim: Sav. Point Guard: Leia. Power Forward: Alli. Teacher: Ms. Kwan.

Note to Team Asia: Manny Santos has been disqualified from your team due to the Philippines being located in Latin America.

Everybody shake hands. Let's begin!


Round 1: Captains

Jimmy vs Kendra

Jimmy Brooks

color: caramel

representing: Africa

Kendra Mason

color: yellow

representing: Asia

Jimmy Brooks has been a primary character from day one, while Kendra was a backup character who disappeared after she saw her brother dress Marco for his big gay date. Jimmy is the man of many hidden talents: basketball, art, and rapping. He also plays a mean bass guitar. Kendra likes anime and is related to Spinner sort of. Jimmy dated Ashley and Kendra dated Toby, so extra points to Jimmy...I suppose. Jimmy is from the future.

Points: Jimmy - 10 Kendra - 3

Winner: Jimmy

 

Round 2

Hazel vs Sav

Hazel Aden

color: moderate black

representing: Africa

Sav Bhandari

color: brown

representing: Asia

Not much to say. Both of them are Muslim and neither have done much on the show. Hazel has large breasts at least.

Points: Hazel - 3 Sav - 1

Winner: Hazel

 

Round 3

Chris vs Leia

Chris Sharpe

color: dark black

representing: Africa

Leia Chang

color: yellow

representing: Asia

Chris tried to make a passionate argument for why he should win, but all was heard was "Booba doooba dooba beba scooba." However, Leia is named Leia. Sure, she has done even less on the show than Kendra, but her name...so beautiful.

Points: Chris - 5 Leia - 7

Winner: Leia. She's a princess.

 

Round 4

Conner vs Alli

Conner Deslauriers

color: light black

representing: Africa

Alli Bhandari

color: brown

representing: Asia

The competitors are stepping onto the court. They look good, they're both young and fit and - OH NO!

Conner pushes Alli

Conner just shoved Alli to the floor! This looks like it will mean a disqualification for Conner.

The referee is reviewing the tape.

Referee

"Upon further review, Alli initiated the conflict by breaking Conner's pencil. Alli Bhandari is disqualified."

Points: Conner - 1 Alli - 0

Winner: Conner. You don't break someone's pencil. That's low.

 

Teacher Round

Armstrong vs Kwan

Coach Armstrong

color: light black

representing: Africa

Ms. Kwan

color: very light yellow

representing: Asia

This is a weak round. Ms. Kwan is a tough but fair English teacher. Coach Armstrong had sex with Liberty, I mean my God.

Points: Coach - 0 Kwan - 1

Winner: Ms. Kwan

 

Our judges are now totaling up the points.

Oh, wait. Look's like there is a late edition to Team Asia.

Hamtaro

Hamtaro has stepped into the ring!

OK, Team Africa, which Reserve Player are you sending up to meet this challenge?

Reserve Blacks

Oh boy. Um...Liberty GO!

 

Bonus Round

Liberty vs Hamtaro

Liberty Van Zandt

color: light black

representing: Africa

Hamtaro

color: white and orange

representing: Asia

This is no contest. Hamtaro is a cute and cuddly little hamster pet. Liberty looks like someone shaved an adolescent bear and stuck her in denim overalls.

Points: Liberty - 0 Hamtaro - 10

Winner: Hamtaro

 


Final Score: Team Africa - 19. Team Asia - 22.

Winner: Team Asia. Good job Asians. Sorry blacks, looks like you guys can never catch a break.

You deserved it Team Asia, but don't party too hard. Too much alcohol makes your faces look all pink and puffy.

Tournament MVP: Jimmy Brooks

Come on everybody. Let's come together and go kick those Jews' asses!

by Billie Green