The Guide to Spinner's Hair
Each hair style is explained and rated according to how many Conan O'Briens it is worth (out of a possible 50).
|Season 1 to Season 2: Short with Gel
From: "Family Politics" to "Mirror in the Bathroom"
This is the look of young Spinner. It's a simple style, short and with some hair gel to make it stick up. It is a common look among young white men today, so it's possible that Spinner started this trend. Spinner had this haircut when we first met him in in middle school and he continued to wear it into high school in the second season. The only difference is that he lost about thirty pounds of fat over the summer.
This was the hair style that Spinner boycotted the caf with and got his first erection, so it has seen some wild times.
|Season 2: Bleach Blonde with Gel
From: "Take My Breath Away" to "Tears Are Not Enough"
Spinner's hair tends to get stupider every year. In the middle of season 2, Spinner bleached his hair blonde. I guess he was a freshmen in high school, he was feeling grown up and decided he needed to alter his hair so it was different than the style he had when he was younger. This is why Spinner should not be allowed to choose his own hair style.
This was the hair style that Spinner started dating Paige with, so it isn't so bad. Still, this is Spinner, so what Paige was attracted to was all south of the border.
|Season 3: Messy
From: "Father Figure" to "Our House"
Spinner came back from summer break to enter the 10th grade with a totally new hair-do. It was 2003 and indie rock bands, with their unkempt hair, were all the rage. Spinner brought the indie rock hairstyle to Canada, where it was quickly copied by several other boys. You could argue that Craig had that hairstyle first, but fuck you. Everyone took a shine to Spinner with this hair. The only reason that Marco was attracted to Dylan was because Spinner and Dylan looked exactly the same in the third season. JT even adopted the look during the brief time that he was cool enough to date Manny.
Spinner didn't do much in Season 3. Mostly, what he had to do dealt with Marco being a gay.
|Season 3 to Season 4: Messy and Long
From: "The Power of Love" to "Islands in the Stream"
This hair style is similar to his previous hair style, just longer. Spinner didn't visit a barber for over a year.
This is the haircut that Kevin Smith said reminded him of a gay porn. Kevin Smith knows a lot about gay porn.
Spinner left Paige for Manny while he had this hair. He also picked on Rick a lot.
|Season 4: Flock of Seagulls
From: "Time Stands Still" to "Going Down the Road"
Jesus fucking Christ. I tell ya, when Spinner is cool, he is wicked Steve Buscemi cool. But when he is not cool, he almost plunges to Andy Dick levels of lameness. I understand that a big thing is hair styles now is androgyny, but that means that the style should still look like something a boy would at least maybe wear. Gavin's hair doesn't even fit that category. I used to refer to this style as gay, but I won't anymore because it is insulting to homosexuals to imply that they have anything in common with this terrible look. First off, homosexuals have a much better sense of style. Secondly, two men in chiffon gowns and lingerie making out while listening to Kylie Minogue music is much, much more manly than Spinner's haircut here.
I have to wonder, did the actor who plays Spinner lose a bet, or did someone on the show force him to get a girl's haircut? The second half of season 4 sucked so it's pretty obvious that one or more people on the show were actively trying to sabotage it.
Superman's weakness is kryptonite, Spinner's weakness is his inability to understand how hair should look on a person who should have any self-respect.
This is the haircut that Spinner had when he lost all his friends and cried a lot. He was also expelled from school. Looking back, I'm not sure all these things happened to Spinner because of Jimmy, I think people just didn't want to be around him because of the hair. I can't blame them. Manny wasn't even all that into him after he showed up with this hair style, and Manny is into anyone with a penis or large enough clitoris.
|Season 5 to Season 7: The Great Pyramid of Spinner
From: "Venus" to "Death or Glory"
Sometimes things get so low for a person that there is nowhere to go but up. Such as it was with Spinner's hair starting in 2005. He came back to school friendless and alone, but at least his hair didn't suck. Over the summer, Spinner got his hair cut by a man for the first time in in a good two years and it shows. This look is reminiscent of his first look, it's short, neat and functional. Spinner's clearly going back to his origins here, because his season 1 haircut was the only one he had that didn't look dumb.
Spinner will often comb his hair so it peaks at the middle of his head like a manly crest. It provides more weight when Spinner head butts rabelrousers.
This is the hair Spinner had when he got together with Darcy, won all his friends back, started a successful business and presumably graduated high school. At least I think he graduated. We never saw him get his diploma, but Spinner wasn't seen in school for most of season 6.
|Season 7: Mohawk
From: "Death or Glory" to Present