Drug Free with Johnny D
I know you kids today have a lot of stress in your life. You got teachers yelling at you, parents giving you homework, and of course there is the constant pressure to do drugs. You're going to be asked to try drugs by your friends, family, and neighborhood drug dealers. It is up to you to remain steadfast and sober. Doing drugs once can ruin your life. Nobody who does drugs has ever become president, or a CEO, or professional actor. It's important to get the facts on drugs, and see why they aren't for you.
Marijiuana, also known as weed or the Mary Jane has always been illegal in America. There has never been a time when it was acceptable to use among any group except for deviants. Marijuana is the most addicting substance in the world and once you are hooked chances are you will die. 100% of Marijuana users eventually die. Marijuana changes the chemistry of your brain making it impossible to read, have energy, or perform sexually. Marijuana is also the number one source of funding for terrorists. 9/11 only happened because people bought marijuana.
Man, I thought I was top boss when the older kids asked me to smoke their weed with them. I didn't like it that much but wanted to be cool. Soon I was inhaling several mary jane ciggs a day. My grades suffered cuz I was too high to do homework. I started forgetting sh*t like my ma's birthday or how to tie shoes. I ended up being so bad that I forgot what crosswalks are and got hit by a truck. Only after major brain surgery were the affects of the dope lessened enough that I could stop being addicted.
Tobacco was first used by the Native Americans as a ceremonious herb. In modern days it can be smoked as cigarets or pipe tobacco, or chewed in the form of chew tobacco. Tobacco is highly addictive and destructive. Tobacco always causes cancer, emphysema, and death. Some of the ingredients in tobacco can be found in things like urine, feces, and arsenic. That means smoking or chewing tobacco is the same as putting urine or fecal matter in your mouth.
People say smoking makes you look cool. It doesn't. Do you think the monkey looks cool? That is how you look if you smoke
People who smoke will experience shortness of breath, an increase in heart problems, yellow teeth, miners cough, frequent urination and anal fissures.
Man, I started to smoke when I was only ten. Me and my esse Juan stole some cigarets from his mom and we smoked them up. I got addicted. I had to smoke every day and if I didn't smoke I would lash out at those around me. One time my little sister stole my cigarets because she wanted to be like me. I went into a blind rage because she dropped then entire pack into a puddle. When I regained my senses I was covered in blood and my sister's body was never found. I was sentenced to life in prison, all because I chose to smoke.
Derived from the coco plants of South America cocain was a hit drug in the 80s and continues to exist until even the present day. Cocain has been popularized by such deviants as Eric Clapton, Motley Crew, and many other famous people who only found disaster and despair from using the drug. Eric Clapton's son plummeted to his death from the top of a sky scraper while the famous singer watched, unable to help because of cocain.
Cocain can be snorted, ingested anally, or smoked (we'll explore crack cocain in another chapter.) Those who do cocain report that they feel energetic, a sense of euphoria and a loss of all morals. They also report that after returning from the high they feel regret, pain, and no longer have any friends who aren't also drug users that would kill them just to get the next score.
I was always a honor role student. My goal was too someday get into a big time school and become a lawyer. I spent many nights staying up late to study, and it was getting tiring. My senior year I wasn't getting enough rest and my grades suffered. My best friend Suzy suggested I do some of her cocaine so that I would have the energy to stay up late. Well I did, but I didn't study. Instead I ran around the streets causing a ruckus, going to rock and roll concerts, and making out with random guys who weren't even attractive. I dropped out of school to do cocaine full time. My parents disowned me and I had to move in with a man I got drugs from. He hit me and made me deliver drugs as payment for rent. I was too addicted to cocaine to leave however. It was only after he was arrested and I was sent to rehab that I was able to escape the living nightmare of my life.
Crack Cocaine is a version of Cocaine that is smoked through inhalation. It is also known as rock, hard, bass, homie treats, and gangsta's delight. Crack is popular in the ghetto's of major cities, such as Harlem, and is rarely used by groups other then those who live in these ghettos. Conspiracy theorists claim that the government invented crack to keep the certain types of people who live in these ghettos from becoming successful, but the truth is these people have only themselves to blame for their crack addictions.
The use of crack causes insomnia, loss of appetite, irritability, paranoia, and eventually full blown insanity. The low income users of crack do so as a test to prove that they are “gangstalicious” and to identify with their heroes who are typically rappers or other criminals. One use of crack creates a permanent change in the brain chemistry, decreasing the amount of dopamine formed. The only way a user can feel happy again is to do more crack, which only decreases the dopamine, creating a viscous cycle that can never to escaped.
Yo dawg, I be a crack fiend all my life. I am all about it. Back when I was still on the streets me and my homies would do crack to prepare ourselves to do drive bys and rob stores. My ma would make us a big bag of the crack rocks for us to take with us. I always had the man up on my *ss. Social workers would drop by and say that 30 people shouldn't live in a one bedroom apartment or that I should eat food but I was like f*ck that Mr. Authority. I don't wanna listen to you. I am a rappa like Biggie Smalls or McHammer. I don't need to listen to nobody. Now I'm in prison but I don't care. I want more crack all the time. If I can't sell myself for crack I go nuts, pounding my head against my wall until I pass out. Instead of sleeping I stay up all night watching centipedes emerge from da shadows and hoping they don't eat me. Crack yo.
Short for Valkyr, Valky is performance enhancing drug used by the military. When used improperly it will cause individuals to experience extreme hallucinations of demons. It will also cause the user to be able to withstand a large amount of pain. As a result “Valkyheads” who find themselves in a fight will not stop despite serious injuries, including multiple gunshots or being thrown off a bridge. This means they may sustain long term injuries without knowing that they should back down.
Not much is known about the long term effects of Valkry. Many who use it die within the next few years after being gun down by avenging police officers. What is known is that those who use it often become street people, there is also a 1% chance of becoming a super soldier.
At first I was just selling the valky. I needed a good source of cash. Then I decided to give some a try. Man, let me tell you, that was one mistake I wish I could take back. I was never the same. I use to love jigsaw puzzles. Do you know how hard it is to solve a jigsaw puzzle when a bunch of demons are flying at your face? Like super hard. Sometimes it would feel like time was moving slowly. This was sort of nice if I was playing Space Invaders or wanking, but it made waiting for the bus super annoying. Then this dude came by, he might have been on the stuff as well, and accused me of killing his wife or something. I forget, it was boring. Anywho, we had a fight to the death and I lost. Bummer.
Sources tell us that Jenken is the hottest new drug on the streets. First created in Zambia, and now invading the free shores of the United States Jenken is a drug created from fermented sewage. The sewage is secured for a week or more in a plastic bag or bottle. It is then huffed, or mixed with a milkshake (this is called Ice Cream Dream) Supposedly Jenken creates a powerful, unbelievable high.
While Jenken was first used in America by illegal African immigrants, it is not invading the homes of good honest Americans in the suburbs and fraternities. Events known as “Jenken Parties” are held where teenagers take large amounts of the drug and then have unprotected oral sex with each other. The one to have the most oral sex wins a prize, often a coupon or Itunes gift card.
They told me Jenken was the coolest new thing on the block. I had drank, and done the weed in the past, but this was new and exciting. I attended a Jenken Party. I was surprised by the oral sex but so high that I could not think of why it would be a bad idea. I got herpes. On my mouth and on my genitals. I now go to the hospital regularly for herpes medicine due to it being such an advanced case. I will now never become a bio engineer.