The Web BtC

Mailbag #29

Date: 08.04.2010
From: hersheykissx100
Subject: Battle Royale

So this is just a suggestion, do what you want with it, or do nothing at all, it's cool with me.

Anyways so i saw this japanese movie a while ago but just remembered it, it's called battle royale. And it is pretty cool, and the main idea of it, is about 40 9th grade kids in one class/school are all sent to an island, and they have 3 days to kill eachother until only one is left, there are these collars around their necks that explode if they go into a danger zone, or if more than one person is left after 3 days. In the movie, some commit suicide, some try to find a way off, some play, others do nothing. And it is all run by a teacher that taught all these students. So basically i was wondering if you would ever consider doing a battle royale story with kids from degrassi? Half girls and half guys, and maybe snake as the teacher or whatever. I think it would be awesome, but you can do what you wat with this. ps the movie is subtitled on youtube if u wanna watch it.

Thanks! Love ur site so much.

Battle Royal is on my movie watch list. Right now the list goes Fire Walk With Me, The Secret of Nimh, Trapped in the Closet, and all six Star Wars films in a row, then Battle Royal. I will watch it when it either makes it to the top of the list or is shown on Netflix.

Alternatively, I could write a parody without any knowledge of the movie other than what I have been told. This might sound risky, but I did it with Eragon and nobody said boo.

Date: 08.05.2010
From: Kimberly B
Subject: pro holly j and declan; wtf is up w/ chantay and new "boy"? fucking show.

I kind of really like the Holly J character development that has taken place.. and I kind of also really like her and Declan (and umm, he's really hot). I'm a bad person. But we at least are getting a somewhat fleshed out character again, that goes through stuff and grows.

Also, not to jump ahead to not-yet-reviewed eps, but wtf?? new "boy" character is one of the lamest plot devices yet..

And the new focus on Chantay Black as apparent queen bee(?) makes me want to kill myself. According to imdb, Chantay Black has been on the show since 2005, and back then I really don't think they were still showing the "grade 8"ers? Plus, she was friends with Paige. I can't justify the effort to do the math by looking at the other characters' timeframes, but there is no possible way this girl should still be in high school.

Chante Black is in her mid to late 20s. Due to a computer glitch she is automatically registered as an incoming senior. Chante supports herself by selling jewelry to her fellow students and ad space on her blog. Chante chooses to return to school every year because she fears the responsibility of being an adult and because she qualifies for free hot lunches.

Date: 08.07.2010
From: Emily M
Subject: New degrassi

I have actually been watching this new season of Degrassi and so far I have seen; poop jokes, getting kicked in the junk jokes, nerds making a band to get chicks shenanigans, and bat shit crazy girl shenanigans. Do you think Degrassi is finally going bad to the golden days of old tom foolery?

Also why on earth is that one Asian chick still in the credits despite having less screen time than Bruce the Moose( who disappeared)

Asian girl is still there because of Affirmative Action. It was either add an Asian to the credits or get some Muslims. One Asian equals two Muslims.

Date: 08.10.2010
From: Christopher, Kaitlyn
Subject: [No Subject]

Icarly reviews are awesome. I always wanted you to do that show because it is awesomely inappropriate for nickelodeon, at least nickelodeon today. I'm glad we watch the same bad tv shows, it works out great.

I've only seen like 15 minutes of Icarly over the course of several episodes. I think it must be popular among young teenage girls because the main characters do that thing young teenage girls do where they act "wacky" and "random" and everybody thinks it is annoying except other teenage girls. Boys watch the show to masturbate.

Date: 07.06.2010
From: equitube
Subject: .

Just came across your site and am still laughing my ass off, your humor is biting, intelligent, sincere and damned funny.

I too am an adult who became hooked on Degrassi in season 1 or 2 although have lost interest since the original characters have left or mysteriously disappeared (Kendra Mason, Joey Jerimiah (sp), and his non-breed sort of half or quarter son, Craig, Ms Hatzilactose, The Shep, Mr Raditch (apparantly Degrassi is brutal on principals,) and more recently, what the hell happened to Spike and Snakes son Jack, or the dog that Emma got in season 6 or 7 to impress that black guy that wound up going for Liberty (eww). Perhaps they left the child and dog in the woods while they were on that convenient camping trip that kept them out of the way for nearly the entire season 10 movie.

Anyhow, keep up the good work and the great humor

Jake, the dog, Kendra, Joey, those Korean neighbors, and everybody else who disappeared without explanation are just getting ready for the Degrassi spin off, Total Degrassi Island. All the secondary characters are sent to an island off the coast of Manitoba to fight to the death, the winner gets to become a main character.

Date: 08.30.2010
From: Amaya D
Subject: Heeeeey.

I love y'all's work and I highly, highly implore you to caption these pictures:


Peace, love, and war.

Date: 08.28.2010
From: getoutofthecircus
Subject: You're slacking...

Okay, so, I've read most of your episode reviews and I was looking through the character pages and you're missing a shit ton of character bio's. I know that you probably don't really want anyone else writing for you, but if you ever need someone to write anything for the site, I'm here. I have no life. =]


I swear I will do character bios someday.

If you ever want to write for the site send us an article and we will post in one week when we are both too lazy to write anything.

Date: 09.14.2010
From: Sierra C

Oh, my God. I love your site. I love Degrassi, but your reviews are hilarious! The fact that you praise Spinner and hate Liberty as much as I do is awesome.

Oh, and a little I-Hate-Liberty Trivia: Remember that retarded "Degrassi Spring Break Movie" that was really just an hour-long episode? (It alternated between titles of "Degrassi Spring Break Movie" and "Bust A Move, Parts 1 and 2". Anyway, after Liberty called shotgun (right after Manny and Jay break up. What a bitch), Emma actually got shotgun. She's sticking her hand out of the window in the transition scene. So, anyone who says Liberty's important is wrong, because that right there is proof that even the people she's "close" with (as close as she can get without them barfing) hate her enough to not give her shotgun after she calls it.

Anyway. So, like I said, your site is fantastic. I especially loved your reviews of season eight.

And I give you props for not making fun of the fact that Adam's a transgendered kid. If you had, this would probably be a hate letter. With the phrase, "You're both dicks." used many times. I mean, I realize you guys don't care if you're hated on, but at least it's less hate to deal with.

So, anyway, I love you guys. It would totally be sexually if I weren't a lesbian. Oh, and Declan and Holly J broke up in "I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself, Part 2". So Holly J no longer needs her Declan Time, as mentioned in your review of "You Don't Know My Name, Part 2".

Wait, what am I saying? You guys are always right. Never mind.

That wasn't sarcasm, by the way.

All right. Take care, you guys. Don't give up hope. Degrassi will be cancelled sometime.

-Sierra C

Billie and I have an agreement were we only watch the episodes we review. It's not an agreement as much as something we would do no matter what is best for the website, because we want to watch as few episodes as possible. Unfortunately, sometimes we miss important plot points. Frankly I'm a little surprised I didn't know what happened in an episode named after a White Stripes song. The White Stripes are awesome. Degrassi is lame.

On the subject of Adam: as far as I am, or Billie is, sexuality is not something that needs to be made fun of. It's not something you can control' like being stupid, or black. We don't make fun of sexuality unless it's a joke that's really funny or really easy and we can't think of anything better.

Date: 09.15.2010
From: billybooth
Subject: Fwd: Degrassi (still pissed)

Man, I was just searching for something in my sent messages and turned up an e-mail I sent you like three years ago.  It occurs to me that, having given up on Degrassi and the Boycott the Caf years ago, I'm still pissed about not making the mailbag...

You remember, it was the e-mail about the Season 3 DVD extras and Dylan being a freak. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I misspelled "cafeteria" in the screenshot. Anyway, hope all is well.


I don't usually open random attachments people send us because I don't like having to reformat my computer every three months.

I'm curious, what were you searching for in your sent messages folder from three years ago?

Date: 09.24.2010
From: Sabrina L
Subject: Ellie will always be Ellie

I had the unfortunate experience of watching some MTV movie called Made and Ellie was in it. I just thought you should know she's still being a bitch

Remember when MTV use to be nothing but music videos and chicks flashing at Spring Break? Those were the days. Now they keep trying to be a real TV channel and it blows.

Date: 09.29.2010
From: Shinthing L

how about starting a review for Vampire Diaries?? oh, and can the reviewer be the one who reviews Degrassi? coz hes awesome.

We both review Degrassi now. If you mean Billie then fuck you.

Date: 10.07.2010
From: Ivan R
Subject: Friend Robin morgan

Johnny Dimaco do you want to hang out with me sometimes but also do you want to be my boyfriend or just friends.

Date: 10.07.2010
From: Ivan R
Subject: Friend Robin morgan

Dear Johnny Dimarco
do you want to hang out with me someday and i think you are handsome person and i like you alot so anyway do you want to be my friend or do you want us to be together as lovers.

You don't want to be with Johnny Dimarco baby, I'm a bad boy. If you love me then you better get a train ticket for heart break city cuz that's where your going. I'm like the wind, I'll caress you, but will never stay around. Don't hold a candle for me sweet cakes. I'm out of this town. Maybe I'll look you up the next time we ride through, or maybe not. Who knows?

Date: 10.17.2010
From: Anthony L
Subject: [No Subject]

Sup Fags,

Alright your website is mad funny and all that other shit. I'll stop sucking your dick now as much as I know you enjoy it.

Anyway two questions I want your opinion on:

1. Just how old is Chantae Black. Her first appearence is in the fourth season. Which is when Darcy first appears. They have that anti-boy sleepover or whatever with Emma and Manny. Darcy is a year younger than those two, so Chantae has to be her age right? Or else she would be have been in 8th grade then and I'm pretty sure sophomores and 8th graders don't hang out. Emma and Manny don't exactly have a plethora of friends so I guess this could be plausible. Maybe Degrassi wants to keep up with typical stereotypes that black people suck at school....who knows.

2. The new English teacher that gives Clare boy advice for whatever insane reason looks exactly like the art teacher that gave Holly J shit in the 8th season(I think). I have no idea if its the same actor playing different teachers, or if she suddenly had the desire to become an English teacher and took season 9 off to be able to teach that. Obviously the Degrassi writers wouldn't have planned that out. But I wanted to know what you fags thought about whether this is the same person or not.

Anyway I feel like much more of a loser writing this to you. I'm probably gonna do some cocaine to get my manliness up. Peace bitches

I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or a douche.

Date: 10.18.2010
From: Katrina B
Subject: old mailbag

"Date: April 7, 2008
From: Kat R

I just would like to tell you, I got my phone taken away in science class once because I was reading Boycott the Caf on it. It was totally worth it, because I love you guys. Even though, I don't know you, I feel like stripping, going to michigan and stalking you guys, but stalk is a strong word. I'm thinking more like, obsessively follow.

Aside from my future aspirations, I want you to know that you better write a review for the degrassi movie, because it was worse than holiday. No lie.

Thank you for bringing light unto this dark world in which degrassi lives

*You might want to wait until you turn 18 before you start stripping, its illegal otherwise. Stalking before you turn 18 however is a good choice because you might not be tried as an adult.* "

Hey, I'm 18 now. Watch out for some naked chick stalking you. It will be a step up from that naked guy.

You might want to keep the clothes on if you're coming to Michigan. It's really cold up here and winter hasn't even hit yet. Otherwise I welcome my new friend with boobies. You can play Left 4 Dead right? How about Smash Bros? We'll have a splendid time, my stalker and me!
Date: 10.24.2010
From: Julia F
Subject: white webster

recognize that happy little boy with the chocolate pudding? i know i didnt til a boring day when i went on a sweet imdb adventure.

It's too bad White Webster didn't get a sweet Rob Schneider deal where he got to make cameos in Adam Sandler movies and live in Adam Sandler's guest room until Adam Sandler couldn't stand him anymore and started producing movies for him to star in just so he could invite a girl over without Rob Schneider trying to steal her panties while they have sex.

Date: 10.29.2010
From: Melissa B
Subject: [no subject]

So my father was here today, and I was watching Degrassi, specifically a scene with Dave and some other guys playing basketball.. He remembered the show quite well because it was always "that show I wasn't allowed to watch". Oh, the fond memories of Season 2 where my mother ran frantically to the screen yelling "WHY ARE YOU WATVCHING A SHOW ABOUT GAY PEOPLE?!" Good times...

So I'm watching Degrassi and my dad is doing that awkward "we don't really have a relationship" sitting thing, and the conversation goes as follows:

Dad-What is this?
Dad-This is still on?!
Dad-This CAN'T be Degrassi.
Me-It is! But like there is a whole new cast and right now they're in uniforms and-
Dad-But this is supposed to be in Canada, right? This show still takes place in Canada?
Dad-But there aren't any black people in Canada!

I figured you guys would get a kick out of that. These...are the people who raised me.

That's a 100 times nicer than anything my dad has said about Degrassi, or my friend who watches it with me.