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Keeping Up With The Kardashians: "Kim Becomes a Diva"

Season 2 Episode 1
Airdate: March 9, 2008

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Chihuahua Head brags that she was the #1 Google search. One of her sisters jokes that it was because she was googling herself. I think it was because people were trying to find a site to download her sex tape.

Yes, after a year of whoring themselves, the Kardashian sisters are now experiencing fame. They have a Girls Gone Wild billboard and everything. Yeah, Girls Gone Wild, that will get you that movie deal. Chihuahua Head is even dating a football player and Tanned Chipmunk is dating a Dickwad.

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The sisters spy on Dickwad's cell phone. He sent a text message to someone named Kiera, who he referred to as his wife. The sisters are shocked. One of them finds it the code adult men use when they text funny. It would be funnier if he made text messages in teen girl code.

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The sisters go to a resort in Mexico. It's there vacation. Can it be a vacation if you don't have a job? I mean, as far as I can tell, their job is to dance at clubs in front of TV cameras. Which they do here. Tanned Chipmunk's sisters want her to forget about Dickwad and find a nice boyfriend who needs a green card.

Back at home, Chihuahua Head squawks at her mother/manager for not getting her a $2500 hotel suite in Miami. Chihuahua Head later brags that she got the same room for $1700. She probably used Priceline. She just has to share the room with William Shatner. And there will only be one bed and he sleeps naked. Also, he watches TV naked. Really, he books a suite in Miami once a year to air himself out. The sun and sea air is great for that.

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Tanned Chipmunk talks to Dickwad about the text message madness. Dickwad's excuse was that Kiera was a friend from high school and they were pretend married like old times. OK, maybe she wasn't a high school friend, maybe she was a kindergarten friend and they were playing house like they did in the past.

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The Baby Sluts make fun of Chihuahua Head for acting like a diva. Chihuahua Head just happens to overhear this. She is not so much annoyed as just happy that someone is talking about her. Her step-dad gives her a pep talk about being a role model and cites Charles Barkley. She does not know who Charles Barkley. God, he was a character on Clerks: the Animated Series you dumbass.

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Tanned Chipmunk decides to stay with Dickwad. Then she and Dumb Bear drive around and try to call and find him. This reminds me of the time I was in college and this guy spent the afternoon trying to phone and IM a girl he was interested in but who was ignoring him. He then grabbed me and this other girl and we drove around the area in her car while he was trying to track down the girl who did not want to talk to him. We kept circling the block that contained a restaurant she was supposed to be at so he could try and see her through the window. I dunno, at the time I was thinking that this is probably what stalking is.

Tanned Chipmunk and Dickwad have a dinner date. The two other Kardashian sisters tag along to tell Dickwad what a dickwad he is. Dickwad escapes to the bathroom. Dumb Bear joins him in the men's room, threatens to kill him if he hurts Tanned Chipmunk, and then uses the urinal. Yes, I was aghast as well.

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To make up to her family for acting like a spoiled bitch, Chihuahua Head cooks breakfast for them. She accidentally sets the kitchen on fire and everyone gets food poisoning.