The Web BtC

"Arthur, It's Only Rock and Roll"

It's a casual day in Elwood City, Francine is over at Muffy's house and the two of them are enjoying the latest Backstreet Boys video. And by the two of them I mean Muffy is fantasizing about Nick Carter. Take note this is the man she is in love with ( Francine complains about how the band is a huge sellout. Francine, being a tomboy, is clearly a lesbian and thus would not enjoy boy bands.

Muffy informs Francine if she had a band she would sell out in five minutes. The challenge is on! Francine must start a band to prove Muffy wrong. Francine calls The Backstreet Boys the BLOBstreet boys and storms out. Good one, Francine

Auditions did not go as Francine planned. The only person good enough was the ever and only lunch lady (I find that crazy that at the entire elementary school there is only one lunch lady doing all the work) Mrs. McGrady. She uses some hippie talk to tell Francine she has to try and find her own musicians.

She enlists the help of local school bully and failure of the third grade, Binky Barnes and fellow lesbo, Molly, who is suppose to be in the fourth grade, but looks like she is the same age as Francine's high school sister. The two only agree to join under the promise that they can get free snacks.

However, Francine is both the drummer and the singer of the band and a terrible multi-tasker.  Mrs. McGrady and Binky enlist Fern to be their singer. Francine is not happy about this because Fern like poetry thus she cannot know anything about rock and roll. But, she winds them over with one rockin' cover of “Row Your Boat”. The group later engages a The Sugar Bowl in a mini jam session. Foreshadow?

School principal, Mr. Haney requests that Francine's band play at the school PTA fundraiser. He already heard she had a band that formed about two days ago. But I guess this is the best he can get. He also wants them to play some Barry Manilow, but being in third grade Francine has no idea who this is neither will the viewers of Arthur..excluding me. I would also like to point out that I really enjoy how Haney has a picture of himself in his office. Why practicing on the roof of Francine's apartment building an angry business man bunny yells out to the group “kids you stink!” AND BAM the group now has its name. You Stink. That's pretty rebellious for nine year olds.

What the fuck alligator person

The Band is really rocking the PTA fundraiser. Which looks nicer than any fundraiser my school ever had. My school always made us sell shit to our grandparents.  Mr. Haney though is afraid by all of this rock and roll. He assumes the people yelling “You Stink!” are rioting against the school. He warns everyone to put their heads between their knees if they feel faint.

A local Elwood City reporter wants to do an interview with Francine the woman behind the coolest band in Elwood City. If the news is covering this Elwood City must be one boring ass town. Of course it's also very safe I assume since they let third graders roam the city streets without an adult safe towns tend to be boring. Francine goes on a tangent about how the band will never sell out blah blah blah. But wait! The stoner camera man wasn't even recording the interview! Hijinks!

Turns out DW has been making trading cards of the band members for profit and selling them to her preschool friends. The group runs from its eight adoring screaming four year old fans in a Scooby Doo fashion. Francine continues to run from selling out but Binky and Fern are sucked into it. Also I would like to point out the entire group stopped at a cross walk I'm glad to see they are teaching kids something useful like crossing the street safety since nothing else in this episode is useful to the show's demographic.

Uh-oh! The “fame” is getting to Fern's head. She dreams about being a rockstar or a butch lesbian. Mr. Ratburn is her manager. Her mother always said she would be popular one day...

Hey! It's Arthur's old baby sitter who he was in love with and her boyfriend. It's nice to see them recycle characters. Or at least I think that's them.

Hey remember how that camera guy never actually filmed Francine's interview? WELL, turns out to redo it the reporter lady talked to the other members of the band and they told her how the really want to meet the Backstreet Boys, Francine's arch nemesis! Turns out the boys are coming to town which kinda shocks me since Elwoods City is a tiny town and The Backstreet Boys are a big group. I live in one of the most populated cities in Texas and I still had to drive like an hour to see any major band. And that major band I saw was Weezer so that's saying something.

Francine is outraged they talked to the news reporter lady, even though she did too, she can't believe the band is selling out

Francine: I herby dissolve You Stink!

Fern: What do you expect us to do melt?

ZING! Francine leaves the band telling the that they do in fact stink.

Francine is replaced with a drum machine.

Oh yeah after being rejected by Francine's band the ever awesome Buster Baxter and his reject friends Arthur and George started a band called We Stink to piss Francine off and refuse to let her play in no matter how hard she begs.

Meanwhile, trouble is brewing for the members of You Stink. They need new material, but Francine wrote all of their music and lyrics. Fern wrote some pansy song but none of them can agree on the tune for it. Mrs McGrady says they have too many cooks in the kitchen (yeah she is a lunch lady and made a kitchen joke lolz) To solve their problem they hire Muffy as their manager. Great idea.

Muffy decides the group needs to make a music video and send it to the Backstreet Boys to become famous. Not that the Backstreet Boys have any say in this stuff. The video is full of product placement that has some crazy concept that doesn't make any sense a la Lady Gaga ( Muffy mails the video to Nick Carter. He will never respond.

Meanwhile the gang gets a gig to perform for their only fans preschoolers. But they still have no new material and this is problem since their main demographic has the same attention span as a rat. I imagine rats would have small attention spans at least. They figure Francine must be having more fun. But she's not! Remember how We Stink said they wouldn't let Francine play with them? Well they did. But after one rehearsal with Francine the bands disbands. Except George he thinks they can have a band with only tambourine and drums like Sunny and Cher. What modern day third grader knows about Sunny and Cher? God, I hate George.

It's the night of the concert and Muffy slips one of the workers what I assume is five dollars to make sure Nick is left behind. He tells the Backstreet Boys law regulates only four boys to an elevator so Nick has to ride alone. That's when Muffy slides in and stops the elevator then proceeds to wow him away with her business plan in hopes to become manager for the Backstreet Boys. He doesn't know what the hell she is talking about which is sad when a third grader is smarter than you but what can you expect from Nick Carter.

With Nick in the elevator with Muffy the crowd i s getting restless. Some how this is Muffy's dad's problem even though he is only a sponsor of the concert. He thinks they should go on anyway. Kevin (I think) explains they cannot lay without Nick since they are all in it together. Actually they can't play without Nick because he is the only Backstreet Boy anyone knows about. Muffy's dad contacts her in the elevator and agrees to just let him go. But WAIT turns out the elevator is really broken. Hey-ohhhh. The fans are so restless what will they do? Muffy has an idea let's just say a certain local band is in the audience...

That's right You Stink is called to duty. The group asks Francine to play with them, but they are all to nervous. Until the sexy southern accented Brian (?) gives Francine some words of wisdom about his first time on the stage. This is good for Francine and the rest, but Fern who once wanted stardom is busy sucking.

So it's Backstreet to the rescue! Thankfully, they are really keen to the Elwood City music scene and know all of the lyrics to You Stink's one song. Everyone loves them!  Notice in the first screenshot Mrs. McGrady is not actually doing what she is portrayed to be doing in the jumbo screen. Oh hey! Nick is back I guess they fixed that elevator problem pretty quick they probably didn't even need to call up You Stink.

Anyway Binky can't handle the fame, Molly has a blister, and Mrs. McGrady has missed too much Bingo so they decide to quit the band.

Francine tells the boys they aren't really all that bad and gives them a speech about keeping the music first. They are confused and consider hiring actual security but this shows how little fans they boys really have since only Francine came to talk to them after the show. N*Sync was always the better boy band. Muffy is heartbroken that Nick turned out to not be a business man BUT WAIT! Howie found some of her proposal and thinks she could manage for them someday. Muffy doesn't realize they will have long broken up considering these characters never age she will never be old enough to be their manager. But she decides Howie is the guy for her which is good for her because I never knew of a single girl back in elementary school who would admit to being a Howie fan.

All's well that ends well.