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Boy Meets World: "Cory's Alternative Friends"

Season 1 Episode 4
Airdate: October 15, 1993

Boycott the Caf name: "Cory's Magnificent Hair"
Issue of the Week: Reading Shampoo Labels

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In Feeny's class, the students are doing presentations about the environment. Two girls show how chemicals in the water kill fish by dissolving away all their flesh. That's a dangerous experiment to be carrying out without any gloves and safety equipment and also in a geography classroom. Cory and Shawn's project is about how smog in the city is hurting the Philly's chances at baseball glory, while the clean mountain air of Colorado benefits whatever the MLB team in Denver is. Since the boys can't find Philadelphia (the city they live in) or even the Rocky Mountains on the map, Mr. Feeny has to point it out to them, though he seems to place Philadelphia in the Atlantic Ocean off the Carolina coast.

Feeny is disappointed with the boy's effort so he breaks them up. He pairs Shawn with Minkus the nerd and teams Cory with Topanga the girl.

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Cory doesn't want to be partnered with Topanga. He wants to stay with his his good buddy Shawn, forever and ever. Topanga sits at the Weirdo table with Minkus, a boy who wears a cape, a tall girl, and a boy with a keyboard. Why is the cape kid considered a weirdo? Capes are awesome.

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Cory and Topanga work on their class project at his house. Topanga wants their presentation about the ozone layer to be a dance to a poem called "Donut in the Sky." Cory doesn't want to watch Topanga dance. He just wants his best friend Shawn to come over.

In the early episodes, Topanga is, like, a hippy daughter. She draws lipstick all around her face because she is a free spirit. The writers drop that aspect of her personality later on. I didn't watch the early seasons when they originally aired, so the first season is still new to me. And I was always used to Cory, Shawn, and Topanga looking older than me. Now I can't get over how young these kids are in season one. They're babies here!

Shawn comes over and the two boys kicks Topanga out of the house. They don't want some girl around. They go up to Cory's bedroom.

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Cory is self-conscious about his fuzzy hair after he overheard two girls not invite him to a party because of it. Fuzzy haired kids were the gingers of the grunge years. He applies some hair straightening shampoo stuff Shawn got from his sister. But he left it in for 45 minutes when the label says to wash it out immediately.

Cory's hair winds up super-straightened so it is shaggy and and goes all the way down to his neck. He and Shawn thinks he looks like a fool, and so does his family, but lots of young males wear their hair like that now. Cory is getting laughed at, but he is just ten years ahead of a trend. If this were 2003 rather than 1993, everyone would be like "Sweet hair, Cory."

Anyway, Shawn has an awesone dinosaur shirt, at least.

Also, there is this quick moment where Cory's mom gets his sister a new doll, because she ruined her's in the microwave. The new doll isn't a Barbie, it's a businesswoman because mom says the doll can take care of herself and doesn't need a man to support her. That was just kind of a weirdly placed feminist message. Maybe the producers are trying to make up for the fact that there are entire episode of Boy Meets World without any female speaking parts.

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Cory now has to sit at the freak table because his Alfalfa hair has made him a freak. Whatever, like, every boy in the school except for Cory and Shawn have that silly mushroom hair cut. Talk about bad hair. Cory and Shawn should start a Sweet Hair Club, and they would be the only members. And why is that other girl who is not Topanga at the table? She doesn't look or act weird. She must be a lesbian.

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Cory pulls curling rolls in his hair, but that just gives him a kickass white man's afro. Unfortunately, this still makes him a loser, because none of the kids at this brain dead school understand quality.

Anyway, the loser kids have been circulating a student petition to stop the school board from firing the elderly library. Cory was like "Yeah, bitch is really old." But now that he is a loser, he must support the loser kids' cause. No one will sign the petition because they don't want to be near the losers, but Cory has experience being a non-loser and knows how to reach them. Cory will grow up to a campaign worker for the Democratic Party.

Cory has the freaks chain themselves in front of the only door in the school. If there is ever a fire in the school, a lot of kids are going to die. The school bell rings and the students can't go home. They are going to kick the freaks' asses, but then Cory tells them that they can go if they sign the petition. He also points out that the old librarian lets them get away with skipping study hall, and a younger librarian is going to crack down on that. Plus it's 1993, so the only place most kids can access the internet is their school library. And if a new librarian stops them from looking at porn in the library computers, they'll have no where else to go! The students agree that they need to protect a person who is poor at her job, so they all sign the petition.

OK, now the librarian's job is saved! Unless of course, the school board chooses to not care what a bunch of middle schoolers think, which is the most likely outcome. Or maybe they won't fire the librarian because the students want her around, then the kids will grow up and graduate college and find how out hard it is to get a job when old people are staying in their jobs well past retirement age.

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Topanga is so happy with Cory that she gives him his first kiss (from a girl.) Cory doesn't know whether he likes this or not.

Cory's hair goes back to normal so he is allowed to rejoin the non-loser kids, but he has learned a lesson about what it is like to live in Loserville, population: you!

Grade: C

The timeline of Boy Meets World confuses me. The characters say they are in the 6th grade, but they start high school next season. Maybe 7th grade is the start of high school in Philadelphia, but after four seasons set in high school, Cory and his friends graduate and spend the final two seasons in college. So they have to be in 8th grade now, right? So, junior high? I say this because if Cory is in the 6th grade and still finds girls gross, well, that's understandable, but if he's an 8th grader who still finds kissing girls gross, well that would probably make him a homosexual.